Verboticism: Portfonio

'Why do you always carry that file folder?'

DEFINITION: n. A prop (e.g. papers, files or any non-functional equipment) used to create the illusion of busyness. v. To use office supplies to create the illusion that you are working.

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Portfonio

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Bossacoy

Created by: abrakadeborah

Pronunciation: boss-a-coy

Sentence: In order for Bob to fool his boss...he would often walk around with his trusty bossacoy to look busy.

Etymology: Boss-Manager. Part of "Decoy" - Someone or something used to draw attention away from another.

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Dosserier

Created by: galwaywegian

Pronunciation: dosss err eee ay

Sentence: he carried his dosserier with him everywhere, adding different coloured stickies each month or so to keep it looking fresh. He called it his licence to kill....time.

Etymology: dossier, dosser

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COMMENTS:

Hopefully the use of his dosserier won't come back to kick him in the dosserriere. - Clayton, 2007-06-13: 07:48:00

Maybe he carried it in a fanny pack - Jabberwocky, 2007-06-13: 09:26:00

How cheeky! - purpleartichokes, 2007-06-13: 10:36:00

i hate to butt in, but is there no rear end to these pun threads?! - jadenguy, 2007-06-13: 11:41:00

ooh that reminds me - it's lunchtime and now I'm in the moods for buns - Jabberwocky, 2007-06-13: 12:10:00

oops I meant mood - Jabberwocky, 2007-06-13: 12:11:00

I'm thinking it would be out-of-line to make a comment about sticky buns, but the air conditioner isn't working in my office today. - purpleartichokes, 2007-06-13: 12:36:00

Such a tool would be perfect for hiding the fact that you're just bumming around instead of working your @$$ off. - ErWenn, 2007-06-13: 14:05:00

Some might say you should just turn the other cheek, jadenguy, but I'm behind you 100% if you want to get to the bottom of this problem. - ErWenn, 2007-06-13: 14:10:00

Rear end to the pun threads? Tush, tush. I've got a haunch we'll be back end the saddle tomorrow. Now, let me hit the can and we can all go grab a Heinie. Fanny that I should put it that way... I've been glute to my seat the hole day. Sorry, that last one was for posteriority. - Clayton, 2007-06-13: 14:34:00

OMG Clayton and ErWenn! Too fanny! - purpleartichokes, 2007-06-13: 14:45:00

I think we should put an ASSterisk beside this definition - Jabberwocky, 2007-06-13: 14:47:00

i'm sorry if I came off a little anal before, as i didn't mean to be so stern. but i just find puns comical garbage that we'll always keep with us, but like junk in the trunk of your car that you forget about for as long as possible, bodonkadonk on wood. - jadenguy, 2007-06-13: 16:59:00

LMAO!! - purpleartichokes, 2007-06-13: 17:46:00

petaj No butts about it, my friend laughed so hard it rectum! - petaj, 2007-06-14: 04:29:00

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Mockpetit

Created by: scrabbelicious

Pronunciation: Mock-pet-eet

Sentence: Mike liked the comfort of a mockpetit, I suppose it satisfied his amateur-actor workplace persona.

Etymology: Noun, a hybrid of the noun Mock (fake) and petite meaning small and toy-like.

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COMMENTS:

metrohumanx OOh- double word score! very good. - metrohumanx, 2008-08-06: 16:35:00

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Fauxsimile

Created by: ryanpetie

Pronunciation: foh-sim-ill-lay

Sentence: Darren gathered his fauxsimiles and strode around the office like a man possessed. 'A few more laps,' he thought, 'and I could be managing partner.'

Etymology: faux/facsimile

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Evidesk

Created by: bookwerm18

Pronunciation: Eh-vee-deh-sk

Sentence: The pile of evidesks on my table collapsed today, demonstrating how overworked I actually am.

Etymology: Evidence + Desk

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Fauxport

Created by: cpeterc

Pronunciation: Fo - Port

Sentence: "Wait - I'll never make it past Mr. Big's office without a Fauxport, This folder will do."

Etymology: Faux = faxe or simulated Port from Passport a document that allows you to travel freely.

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COMMENTS:

metrohumanx Your papers, please.... - metrohumanx, 2008-08-06: 16:48:00

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Assidupicity

Created by: jesster

Pronunciation: Ass-id-you-plicity

Sentence: While Neville's constant assiduplicity never fooled the people that actually accomplished things, management was completely taken in. He was promoted so frequently that his failures never caught up to him, and soon was in charge of the entire department.

Etymology: assiduous (involved in often constant activity )+ duplicity (the inclination or practice of misleading others through lies or trickery)

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Fileusion

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: fyl loo zhun

Sentence: He was the Great Pretender in our office. Sadly, because he was a male, he got away with it for way longer than any female would even dare try. Yes, Seymour Dolittle, was a fileusion. He would stalk the halls carrying a file folder and pretend to "do his rounds" with nothing more than what turned out to be a pizza place menu and and a bus schedule in his file folder. He fooled the senior management for over 5 years (the ladies in the company twigged on after a year or two, but had nowhere to lodge their concerns). When the cuts came, no one could salvage Seymour, as he worked for no one, did not report to anyone and could never successfully explain his presence in the hallowed halls. Luckily for him, he worked long enough to collect a great pension, unemployment insurance and a tasty severance for all his hard-worked time. Nice work if you can get it...and he wasn't even a CEO of anything!

Etymology: File (a set of related records (either written or electronic) kept together) & Illusion (an erroneous mental representation; the act of deluding; deception by creating illusory ideas; an illusory feat; considered magical by naive observers)

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Portfonio

artr

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: pôrtˈfōnēˌō

Sentence: Gerry has all the correct business props, the pinstripe suit, the proper tie, the Blackberry. He is never seen without his portfolio. The truth; the suit is a cheap knock-off; the tie, a clip-on; Blackberry, a much too expensive cell phone and the portfolio, a portfonio that holds nothing more than his lunch.

Etymology: portfolio (a large, thin, flat case for loose sheets of paper such as drawings or maps) + phony (not genuine; fraudulent)

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Maloprop

Created by: readerwriter

Pronunciation: mal-o-prop

Sentence: Eric is so retro, Petra thought. Everytime she saw him cross the office floor on his way from the men's room to his desk, she had to laugh. Oh yeah, he just had to carry those maloprops to show everyone he knew what it was like in the 20th century. It was ludicrous. And, then if you said something, he had such excuses...like he didn't understand there were better ways of doing things.

Etymology: From mal, Latin/Romance languages, for bad or sick + prop for a property used for show. Also a play on the word malapropism, the ludicrous misuse of a word. In this case, the ludicrous misuse of a prop.

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