Verboticisms

Created by: jadenguy

Pronunciation: as OOM tot

Sentence: Like a vampire hunter to the cross, he lept across his cubicle and grabbed a stack of printed material on company letterhead as his boss approached; his assumetote being just enough of a ruse to confuse his superior for perhaps another week. His smokescreen-jobsaver spreadsheet was already drawing suspicion as to exactly how much time he spent playing internet word games!

Etymology: assume + tote + asymptote assume (people assume you are working ) + tote (to carry) + asymptote (to infinitely approach something (work))

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COMMENTS:

yeah, like people play internet word games at work! implausible. - jadenguy, 2007-06-13: 11:40:00

Can I have a copy of that spreadsheet? - purpleartichokes, 2007-06-13: 13:52:00

you come up with very creative sentences jadenguy - Jabberwocky, 2007-06-13: 14:51:00

i try. i try. - jadenguy, 2007-06-13: 17:12:00

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Created by: mweinmann

Pronunciation: port - pfon - eeeooo

Sentence: Robert held tight to his large portfonio as he passed his manager's office. He really had nothing to do but he nicely played the part of a person who had millions of things to do and people to see.

Etymology: Portfolio - A collection of papers and accomplishment and another word for notebook. + phony (not real).

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Created by: rikboyee

Pronunciation: clam-err-flarj

Sentence: the only way to stop her intraypidation taking hold was to make sure she was well clamourflaged

Etymology: clamour, camouflage

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Created by: galwaywegian

Pronunciation: dosss err eee ay

Sentence: he carried his dosserier with him everywhere, adding different coloured stickies each month or so to keep it looking fresh. He called it his licence to kill....time.

Etymology: dossier, dosser

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COMMENTS:

Hopefully the use of his dosserier won't come back to kick him in the dosserriere. - Clayton, 2007-06-13: 07:48:00

Maybe he carried it in a fanny pack - Jabberwocky, 2007-06-13: 09:26:00

How cheeky! - purpleartichokes, 2007-06-13: 10:36:00

i hate to butt in, but is there no rear end to these pun threads?! - jadenguy, 2007-06-13: 11:41:00

ooh that reminds me - it's lunchtime and now I'm in the moods for buns - Jabberwocky, 2007-06-13: 12:10:00

oops I meant mood - Jabberwocky, 2007-06-13: 12:11:00

I'm thinking it would be out-of-line to make a comment about sticky buns, but the air conditioner isn't working in my office today. - purpleartichokes, 2007-06-13: 12:36:00

Such a tool would be perfect for hiding the fact that you're just bumming around instead of working your @$$ off. - ErWenn, 2007-06-13: 14:05:00

Some might say you should just turn the other cheek, jadenguy, but I'm behind you 100% if you want to get to the bottom of this problem. - ErWenn, 2007-06-13: 14:10:00

Rear end to the pun threads? Tush, tush. I've got a haunch we'll be back end the saddle tomorrow. Now, let me hit the can and we can all go grab a Heinie. Fanny that I should put it that way... I've been glute to my seat the hole day. Sorry, that last one was for posteriority. - Clayton, 2007-06-13: 14:34:00

OMG Clayton and ErWenn! Too fanny! - purpleartichokes, 2007-06-13: 14:45:00

I think we should put an ASSterisk beside this definition - Jabberwocky, 2007-06-13: 14:47:00

i'm sorry if I came off a little anal before, as i didn't mean to be so stern. but i just find puns comical garbage that we'll always keep with us, but like junk in the trunk of your car that you forget about for as long as possible, bodonkadonk on wood. - jadenguy, 2007-06-13: 16:59:00

LMAO!! - purpleartichokes, 2007-06-13: 17:46:00

No butts about it, my friend laughed so hard it rectum! - petaj, 2007-06-14: 04:29:00

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Created by: ryanpetie

Pronunciation: foh-sim-ill-lay

Sentence: Darren gathered his fauxsimiles and strode around the office like a man possessed. 'A few more laps,' he thought, 'and I could be managing partner.'

Etymology: faux/facsimile

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Created by: kendriveset

Pronunciation: bo-ga-strive

Sentence: Jim took more effort to bogustrive around the office than it would\'ve taken to actually do some work.

Etymology: bogus + strive

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COMMENTS:

good one - Nosila, 2010-01-07: 18:50:00

thanks so much - kendriveset, 2010-01-08: 15:48:00

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Created by: artr

Pronunciation: aw-fuh-sahd

Sentence: Stanley likes to make everybody think he is the most productive member of his team. He creates a smokescreen by creating an officade of papers and folders that practically obscure his window and keep prying eyes from seeing how little actual work he does.

Etymology: office (a room, set of rooms, or building where the business of a commercial or industrial organization or of a professional person is conducted) + facade (a superficial appearance or illusion of something)

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Created by: LunaC

Pronunciation: sham-o-flaw-ge

Sentence: The new employee furiously types an email to his friend as shamoflauge in case his boss walks by.

Etymology: sham + camoflauge

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Created by: cpeterc

Pronunciation: Fo - Port

Sentence: "Wait - I'll never make it past Mr. Big's office without a Fauxport, This folder will do."

Etymology: Faux = faxe or simulated Port from Passport a document that allows you to travel freely.

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COMMENTS:

Your papers, please.... - metrohumanx, 2008-08-06: 16:48:00

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Created by: keeno82uk

Pronunciation: dis-work-illusion-ment

Sentence: "that guy is so practicing disworkillusionment, as he always carries around that file"

Etymology: Meaning the illusion of work by cloaking your lack of said work using props, i.e folder, laptop

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