Verboticisms

Created by: jadenguy

Pronunciation: as OOM tot

Sentence: Like a vampire hunter to the cross, he lept across his cubicle and grabbed a stack of printed material on company letterhead as his boss approached; his assumetote being just enough of a ruse to confuse his superior for perhaps another week. His smokescreen-jobsaver spreadsheet was already drawing suspicion as to exactly how much time he spent playing internet word games!

Etymology: assume + tote + asymptote assume (people assume you are working ) + tote (to carry) + asymptote (to infinitely approach something (work))

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COMMENTS:

yeah, like people play internet word games at work! implausible. - jadenguy, 2007-06-13: 11:40:00

Can I have a copy of that spreadsheet? - purpleartichokes, 2007-06-13: 13:52:00

you come up with very creative sentences jadenguy - Jabberwocky, 2007-06-13: 14:51:00

i try. i try. - jadenguy, 2007-06-13: 17:12:00

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Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: fyl loo zhun

Sentence: He was the Great Pretender in our office. Sadly, because he was a male, he got away with it for way longer than any female would even dare try. Yes, Seymour Dolittle, was a fileusion. He would stalk the halls carrying a file folder and pretend to "do his rounds" with nothing more than what turned out to be a pizza place menu and and a bus schedule in his file folder. He fooled the senior management for over 5 years (the ladies in the company twigged on after a year or two, but had nowhere to lodge their concerns). When the cuts came, no one could salvage Seymour, as he worked for no one, did not report to anyone and could never successfully explain his presence in the hallowed halls. Luckily for him, he worked long enough to collect a great pension, unemployment insurance and a tasty severance for all his hard-worked time. Nice work if you can get it...and he wasn't even a CEO of anything!

Etymology: File (a set of related records (either written or electronic) kept together) & Illusion (an erroneous mental representation; the act of deluding; deception by creating illusory ideas; an illusory feat; considered magical by naive observers)

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Created by: abrakadeborah

Pronunciation: boss-a-coy

Sentence: In order for Bob to fool his boss...he would often walk around with his trusty bossacoy to look busy.

Etymology: Boss-Manager. Part of "Decoy" - Someone or something used to draw attention away from another.

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Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: sha man ila

Sentence: Steve was the shamanila at the office. Most of his 8 hour shift was devoted to avoiding work. He had carried around his faithful manila folder daily trying to look busy. For 8 years he had fooled everyone. Until the day he got his new manager, Liz. She asked him to write out his job description. How in the world was he going to turn his one sentence actual duties (Carries around a file folder.) into a whole page or two of action verbs and activities?

Etymology: Sham (a person who makes deceitful pretenses;something that is a counterfeit; not what it seems to be) & Manila (a strong paper or thin cardboard with a smooth light brown finish made from e.g. Manila hemp & Shaman (one who practices sorcery)

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Created by: bookwerm18

Pronunciation: Eh-vee-deh-sk

Sentence: The pile of evidesks on my table collapsed today, demonstrating how overworked I actually am.

Etymology: Evidence + Desk

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Created by: metrohumanx

Pronunciation: SIM-uhl-AY-bore-ig

Sentence: The Bearded One entered with a brushed-aluminum clipboard under his arm, knowing it would cause a stir amongst the real workers. Every week he carried a new SIMULABORIG which gave the impression of semi-competence and enthusiasm which fooled no one. Last time it was a P.D.A. which made his productivity plummet faster than his dignity. His vain attempts to impress the boss ranged from a simple legal pad to a glowing little spaceship planted in his ear. Last year he attemped to SIMULABORIG a staff meeting but the only wireless hotspot was behind his sweaty forehead. The office joke was that he had a whole toybox full of SIMULABORIGS to shamelessly display at every opportunity. His manifolderol seemed to have no end. He would always carry some ubiquitool, unencumbered by any knowledge of its function. Particularly fond of pseudotechnocrap, he subscribed to every high-end gizmoid catalog available. Despite the appearance of The Bearded One's weekly McGuffen, his job performance brought new meaning to the word "adequate".

Etymology: SIMUlate+lABOr+RIG=SIMULABORIG_____ simulate: to give or assume the appearance or effect of... often with the intent to deceive--Latin "simulatus", past participle of "simulare"... to copy, represent, feign, from similis "like"_____ labor: expenditure of physical or mental effort especially when difficult or compulsory-Middle English, from Anglo-French labur, from Latin labor; perhaps akin to Latin labare to totter, labi to slip_____rig: to make or construct hastily or in a makeshift manner-Me riggen,prob of Scand.orig____variations: simulaborite, simulaborana, simulaborat, simulaborology etc.

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COMMENTS:

http://isitchristmas.com/ - metrohumanx, 2008-08-06: 08:41:00

My name is MetrohumanX and I improve this message. - metrohumanx, 2008-08-06: 16:26:00

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Created by: galwaywegian

Pronunciation: dosss err eee ay

Sentence: he carried his dosserier with him everywhere, adding different coloured stickies each month or so to keep it looking fresh. He called it his licence to kill....time.

Etymology: dossier, dosser

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COMMENTS:

Hopefully the use of his dosserier won't come back to kick him in the dosserriere. - Clayton, 2007-06-13: 07:48:00

Maybe he carried it in a fanny pack - Jabberwocky, 2007-06-13: 09:26:00

How cheeky! - purpleartichokes, 2007-06-13: 10:36:00

i hate to butt in, but is there no rear end to these pun threads?! - jadenguy, 2007-06-13: 11:41:00

ooh that reminds me - it's lunchtime and now I'm in the moods for buns - Jabberwocky, 2007-06-13: 12:10:00

oops I meant mood - Jabberwocky, 2007-06-13: 12:11:00

I'm thinking it would be out-of-line to make a comment about sticky buns, but the air conditioner isn't working in my office today. - purpleartichokes, 2007-06-13: 12:36:00

Such a tool would be perfect for hiding the fact that you're just bumming around instead of working your @$$ off. - ErWenn, 2007-06-13: 14:05:00

Some might say you should just turn the other cheek, jadenguy, but I'm behind you 100% if you want to get to the bottom of this problem. - ErWenn, 2007-06-13: 14:10:00

Rear end to the pun threads? Tush, tush. I've got a haunch we'll be back end the saddle tomorrow. Now, let me hit the can and we can all go grab a Heinie. Fanny that I should put it that way... I've been glute to my seat the hole day. Sorry, that last one was for posteriority. - Clayton, 2007-06-13: 14:34:00

OMG Clayton and ErWenn! Too fanny! - purpleartichokes, 2007-06-13: 14:45:00

I think we should put an ASSterisk beside this definition - Jabberwocky, 2007-06-13: 14:47:00

i'm sorry if I came off a little anal before, as i didn't mean to be so stern. but i just find puns comical garbage that we'll always keep with us, but like junk in the trunk of your car that you forget about for as long as possible, bodonkadonk on wood. - jadenguy, 2007-06-13: 16:59:00

LMAO!! - purpleartichokes, 2007-06-13: 17:46:00

No butts about it, my friend laughed so hard it rectum! - petaj, 2007-06-14: 04:29:00

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Created by: rephil

Pronunciation: im-PORT-man-toh

Sentence: Gerry's importmanteau always impressed visitors, but the maintenance man's keys signified he held more true power in the building.

Etymology: import -- rank, necessity, gravity; portmanteau -- a suitcase

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COMMENTS:

this is a great word!! - Jabberwocky, 2007-06-13: 14:48:00

Thanks -- I know I've had a few in my time! - rephil, 2007-06-13: 14:50:00

Erm -- importmanteaux, not great words! - rephil, 2007-06-13: 14:51:00

actually your words are terrific - there have just been so many good words to choose from lately - I especially like euphonia - Jabberwocky, 2007-06-13: 15:17:00

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Created by: mrskellyscl

Pronunciation: sup-plies-guys

Sentence: Herb was office supply guy and had charge of the stock room; however, we knew him as the "suppliesguise" because he'd spend the entire day running back and forth with paper, folders and what not just to make himself look busier than he really was. That wasn't so bad, but when anyone asked him to get supplies for them his response was, "I'm sorry, I'm too busy. You'll have to get it yourself!"

Etymology: supplies: provisions; furnish or equip + guise: an artful or simulated pretense

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Created by: administraitor

Pronunciation: row-bow-flaj

Sentence: Howard found that measuring floors desks and windows allowed him to prowl the office at will, his roboflage consisting of a tape and clipboard.

Etymology: robot (worker) + camouflage

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