Verboticisms

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: mawk sen it tee

Sentence: Mrs. Beach, the English teacher hated profanity and forbade her students from using any of these words in her classroom. Kids being kids in today's society of course cannot speak without cursing. To keep from being expelled and yet express his youthful dramatics, one brain surgeon in her class found a solution. He developed the mockscenity code. When he wanted to use a curse word, he had to substitute the first letter of that word with a "p" and if the first letter was a vowel, he just put the p in front of it. Pam, it worked like a pitch. It knocked the phit out of bad-sounding words and before long the whole ploody class was using it, pell yes. Mrs. Beach however had been a decryptor with the CIA before she retired to teaching and announced one morning, loudly, "The puck stops here!"

Etymology: Mock (a copy or imitation of something; imitate with mockery and derision) & Obscenity (an offensive or indecent word or phrase)

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Created by: Ismelstar

Pronunciation: [yoo-efuh-miz-uhm]

Sentence: Pristine, soft-spoken and mild, the limits of Molly Mormon's patience had finally expired after Danny overturned a perfume bottle under her desk. "Oh my Heck!" she blurted unable to stop the youeffemisms tumbling out of her mouth. "You little Ess. Just get the Eff out of my class!"

Etymology: A play with the imperative forms of bowdlerized swear words, (which generally are used by naming only the first letter of the offending curse) which sounds like 'euphemism', the substitution of a mild, indirect, or vague expression for one thought to be offensive or harsh.

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Created by: Mustang

Pronunciation: al - LOOD

Sentence: Cyrus had a coding system wherein he would use substitute words to allewd to words of graphic or vulgar nature.

Etymology: Play on the words allude and lewd... to refer to indirectly with couched obscenity.

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COMMENTS:

clever - Jabberwocky, 2008-05-08: 14:21:00

Clever and interesting blend - OZZIEBOB, 2008-05-08: 19:38:00

Good one...he would allewd alloud allot! - Nosila, 2008-05-08: 23:15:00

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Created by: ethanb

Pronunciation: furs

Sentence: Jay uses furses around his catholic mother to avoid her ire, but in normal company he cusses like a sailor.

Etymology: "curse" + "farce"

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Created by: arrrteest

Pronunciation: dis-kuss-fem-izm

Sentence: Tony was sitting in a chair in the principal's office again. "Tony, can you explain to me what you meant by 'dime beach?'" "Yeah, I went to a beach that charged a dime to go to it! I was just remembering it and I said it outloud. To nobody really, but Mrs. Fluster just happened to be there." The principal looked at him and shook his head. "Now Tony, yesterday you were in here for calling a classmate a 'shucking fithead' and tried to tell me that a fithead is what they call a healthy person who processes oysters. You're not fooling anyone, buddy. You've got to stop this discussphemism or you'll be finding yourself explaining this to your parents while you are on suspension!

Etymology: dis, disrespect + cuss, curse + phemism, from euphemism

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Created by: Bookworm699

Pronunciation:

Sentence: "Fat old beach," she fakeswore under her breath.

Etymology:

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Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: fo kuss

Sentence: Dr.Seemore Glasses was an optometrist and normally a man of vision. Born a Presbyopic, he'd rather ride the cataracts than attend Church or Temple. He was short-sighted in one aspect: he was afraid to make a spectacle of himself in front of his clients. Although it sounded cornea, he hated to swear in front of them. He would tell them he needed to fauxcuss, when they did or said something stupid. One fellow kept making an astigmatism of himself, so Dr. Seemore stopped seeing him, before their macular degenerated anymore. Through his contacts, the doctor also teaches at the university and lens his experience to the newbies. Unfortunately, the boring nature of eye topics often made his pupils dilate. One day he fauxcussed on his lovely assistant, Iris,who he claimed was untidy, blind to messes and kept their office like a sty. She in turn accused Dr. Seemore of ogling her. Although it later turned out that she was bipolarized and also binocular, she pressed charges. As the police led away the good Dr.Seemore, he was heard to yell, "I've been framed!"

Etymology: Faux (not genuine or real; being an imitation of the genuine article) & Cuss (profane or obscene expression usually of surprise or anger;utter obscenities or profanities)

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COMMENTS:

Good word! - Mustang, 2008-05-08: 07:45:00

best word this month!! - galwaywegian, 2008-05-08: 12:13:00

The story alone is worth a vote! - pieceof314, 2008-05-08: 14:05:00

wow - so many good words today - Jabberwocky, 2008-05-08: 14:22:00

Spot on - Love it! - Tigger, 2008-05-08: 18:59:00

Excellent. - OZZIEBOB, 2008-05-08: 19:35:00

My fave - arrrteest, 2008-05-08: 22:39:00

I'd like to thank the members of the Academy...Cheers All! - Nosila, 2008-05-08: 23:09:00

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Created by: libertybelle

Pronunciation: smut-stih-toot

Sentence: Because I work in a kindergarten I maintein a constant cuss diet and will resort to using smutstitute words when I am really gee-golly ticked off at some wing-nut. Though I'd reaally like to tell them to go fudge themselves!!

Etymology: smut + substitute

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COMMENTS:

nice - Jabberwocky, 2008-05-08: 14:24:00

Perfect! - Tigger, 2008-05-08: 18:57:00

Excellent! - Mustang, 2008-05-08: 19:20:00

Great word. - OZZIEBOB, 2008-05-08: 19:34:00

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Created by: TJayzz

Pronunciation: bloo-pur-poo-pur

Sentence: Those blooperpoopers really annoy me . Only the other day I heard a woman say she had got in a right mucking fuddle, it took me ages to realise what she meant.

Etymology: Blooper(something that should not have been said)Pooper(To ruin, spoil)

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Created by: rebelvin

Pronunciation: vulg-air+avoid

Sentence: I was so angry, I forgot to vulgaravoid, and she seemed shocked at the words that came out of my mouth.

Etymology: vulgar+avoid

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