Verboticisms

Created by: arrrteest

Pronunciation: dis-kuss-fem-izm

Sentence: Tony was sitting in a chair in the principal's office again. "Tony, can you explain to me what you meant by 'dime beach?'" "Yeah, I went to a beach that charged a dime to go to it! I was just remembering it and I said it outloud. To nobody really, but Mrs. Fluster just happened to be there." The principal looked at him and shook his head. "Now Tony, yesterday you were in here for calling a classmate a 'shucking fithead' and tried to tell me that a fithead is what they call a healthy person who processes oysters. You're not fooling anyone, buddy. You've got to stop this discussphemism or you'll be finding yourself explaining this to your parents while you are on suspension!

Etymology: dis, disrespect + cuss, curse + phemism, from euphemism

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Created by: verbherder

Pronunciation: els-swair

Sentence: Howie Mandel always uses vulgarities, but Ed Begley Jr. speaks like a saint. Elseswears come out of his mouth in place of curse words even when he's talking about Mark Harmon and Denzel Washington.

Etymology: else (in some other way) + swear (To use profane oaths; curse)

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Created by: artr

Pronunciation: hek-spli-tiv

Sentence: As the pastor of his church John can't use profane language. As a human that is subject to anger or pain, he has found his own set of heckspletives to get him through these times. Where someone else might say "Shut the F___ up", John will say "Hush the frog up". Where someone else might tell someone to "Go to Hell", John smiles tells them to "have a nice time at the BBQ". Even though he gets blank stares sometimes, he feels better that he knows what he meant.

Etymology: heck (used as a mild expression of annoyance, rejection, disgust, etc.) + expletive (an interjectory word or expression, frequently profane; an exclamatory oath)

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Created by: didsbury

Pronunciation: pro-f-eye-nn

Sentence: I'm sorry officer but you must have misheard me. If we do go to court I think you will find that 'crucking funt' is a profinity and not a profanity.

Etymology: Turning the profane into the profine was an art form perfected by the French aristocracy in the early years of the republic. They were also helped by atrocious aural hygiene standards during this period of history.

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COMMENTS:

reminds me of the guy on Capitol Steps who tells the stories with initial letters transposed. One concluded thast Haris Pilton simply needed a little soap in her hole; then there was the spale of Elliot Titzler.... - stache, 2008-05-08: 19:02:00

...er, Titzer. You know, the guy wh went to all the hicey prookers? nd I mean hicey. We're not talking bwenty tucks. No, not birty thucks. No, not even borty...never mind. - stache, 2008-05-08: 19:05:00

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Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: fo kuss

Sentence: Dr.Seemore Glasses was an optometrist and normally a man of vision. Born a Presbyopic, he'd rather ride the cataracts than attend Church or Temple. He was short-sighted in one aspect: he was afraid to make a spectacle of himself in front of his clients. Although it sounded cornea, he hated to swear in front of them. He would tell them he needed to fauxcuss, when they did or said something stupid. One fellow kept making an astigmatism of himself, so Dr. Seemore stopped seeing him, before their macular degenerated anymore. Through his contacts, the doctor also teaches at the university and lens his experience to the newbies. Unfortunately, the boring nature of eye topics often made his pupils dilate. One day he fauxcussed on his lovely assistant, Iris,who he claimed was untidy, blind to messes and kept their office like a sty. She in turn accused Dr. Seemore of ogling her. Although it later turned out that she was bipolarized and also binocular, she pressed charges. As the police led away the good Dr.Seemore, he was heard to yell, "I've been framed!"

Etymology: Faux (not genuine or real; being an imitation of the genuine article) & Cuss (profane or obscene expression usually of surprise or anger;utter obscenities or profanities)

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COMMENTS:

Good word! - Mustang, 2008-05-08: 07:45:00

best word this month!! - galwaywegian, 2008-05-08: 12:13:00

The story alone is worth a vote! - pieceof314, 2008-05-08: 14:05:00

wow - so many good words today - Jabberwocky, 2008-05-08: 14:22:00

Spot on - Love it! - Tigger, 2008-05-08: 18:59:00

Excellent. - OZZIEBOB, 2008-05-08: 19:35:00

My fave - arrrteest, 2008-05-08: 22:39:00

I'd like to thank the members of the Academy...Cheers All! - Nosila, 2008-05-08: 23:09:00

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Created by: artr

Pronunciation: präksplitiv

Sentence: ”What the fudge is wrong with you? You’re a frickin rock star”, fumed Iggy’s manager. ”You’re supposed to be a hard-brass who curses like a sailor and the best we can get out of you is a proxpletive”.

Etymology: proxy (a person authorized to act on behalf of another) + expletive (an oath or swear word)

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Created by: ethanb

Pronunciation: furs

Sentence: Jay uses furses around his catholic mother to avoid her ire, but in normal company he cusses like a sailor.

Etymology: "curse" + "farce"

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Created by: Bookworm699

Pronunciation:

Sentence: "Fat old beach," she fakeswore under her breath.

Etymology:

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Created by: TJayzz

Pronunciation: bloo-pur-poo-pur

Sentence: Those blooperpoopers really annoy me . Only the other day I heard a woman say she had got in a right mucking fuddle, it took me ages to realise what she meant.

Etymology: Blooper(something that should not have been said)Pooper(To ruin, spoil)

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Created by: stache

Pronunciation: sŭb'tər-fēm'

Sentence: "GOT DANDRUFF, SOMEOFITITCHES!" Grandpa shouted his well-known subterpheme, as he bonked his thumb with the ball-peen hammer for the third time.

Etymology: 'sub,' short for underwater marine vessel, also used to describe an oversized sandwich served on long bread; 'terph,' alt. of turf, locale where one finds one's homies; 'eme,' collapsed form of e-me, avatar used as an on-line representation of oneself.

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