Verboticisms

Created by: CanadianAndyCapp

Pronunciation: Tag-mem-ic-rect-if-i-Kay-shun-o-file

Sentence: Verbosity and gramatic eloquence cannot singularly direct the attentive comprehension of the average individual through auditory reception; without the proper corrective parameters being established by a fully qualified tagmemicrectificationophile!

Etymology: Tagmemic (Words) Rectification (Correction) Phile (To admire or be devoted to)

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COMMENTS:

indubitably, a singularly meritoreous and commendable candidate, no component occluded. - stache, 2008-03-26: 11:38:00

Alas, I lament my reiteration of your expression, "singularly." - stache, 2008-03-26: 11:43:00

Albeit unheeding, and contextually distinguishable. - stache, 2008-03-26: 11:45:00

One for "The Dictionary of Longest Verboticisms" - OZZIEBOB, 2008-03-26: 17:46:00

A preeminently jocular submission, (although hard to say in one breath). - Tigger, 2008-03-26: 22:16:00

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Created by: artr

Pronunciation: graməstäpō

Sentence: The Grammestapo is always vigilant when it comes to the spoken or written word. Texting just about drives them crazy. One good ”your (or yur) gr8” can send them into apoplexy.

Etymology: grammar (the whole system and structure of a language or of languages in general) + Gestapo (the German secret police under Nazi rule)

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Created by: OZZIEBOB

Pronunciation: wurd-PREE-fekt

Sentence: "But this is madness. I am trying to stop this company from becoming a grammatical graveyard! Don't you realize it concerns every person in this country - and, moreover, in the greater part of the world to speak English perfectly" Behind his back, in a low voice, someone murmured, " Oh no, has someone split an infinitive again." Things were becoming tense as Bob, flushing crimson, started to leave the room. After few moments, someone said, "Hope that's the last of "Verndracula" for a while. "Verndracula", "Dipthong", "Cretaphor" and, quasi-officially, "The Wordprefect" were but a few pejoratives for Bob, whose habitual correcting of even the slightest grammatical error was driving his colleagues to demential declensia. However, they agreed, that it was a "critical period" in the company's history, and that it would be a "double negative" if they sat there tangentiality, and did nothing to put a "glottal stop" to his psycholinguistic punishment. Firstly they started to mutilate plurals, one boomerang became two "beemearang"; one cuckoo was two "cuckee". And, in an attempt, to render this onomatopedant almost apoplexic: 'Boo-hoo' became "bee-hee" and "boom" became "beem" Reaching for the mountain top of malapropisms, they uttered howlers such as a "let's not talk about tattoo subjects". Gradually, Bob began to realize that he had lost all "soap in his hole" when he began to slip, more and more, into spoonerisms - of course, that should be speenerism.

Etymology: Blend of WORD & PREFECT: School boy,especially in English Grammar schools, with responsibility for th discipline and "proper" behavior of other students.

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COMMENTS:

There's nothing like clouding up the waters with a good mixed metaphor, ya know! - arrrteest, 2008-03-26: 12:04:00

excellent sentence - Jabberwocky, 2008-03-26: 14:00:00

So many hysterical stories today! Very amusing. - Tigger, 2008-03-26: 22:29:00

Loved it...it left me almost comma-tose. Period. Doesn't a dipthong sound like the kind of low-cut bathing suit that Borat wore? Isn't a beemerang a carphone call for a yuppie? Cheers!(Is the singular form of that a cher?) - Nosila, 2008-03-26: 22:40:00

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Created by: readerwriter

Pronunciation: jak-grahm-mer

Sentence: In the Teacher's Room, out of her hearing, of course, the red-haired English teacher was referred to as "The Jackgrammar." Even the Physics teacher, a man of few words and much substance, laughed out loud at the label. The barrage of her daily correction was intolerable. Her red pen not only marked her students papers, but the notice board ("final grade's due on...") , the photocopy machine ("put xtra paper here.."), the Principle's (sic) suggestion box. Little did the teachers know that her boyfriend was a tattoo artist and that underneath her long-sleeved blouses, on the skin of her left forearm (unseen in the drawing), was a red and blue heart and the words, "Luv Conquers All."

Etymology: A play on "jackhammer," a pneumatic tool for breaking pavement and drilling rock.

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COMMENTS:

Laughed all the way through the sentence. Luv the way the etymology implies such people hit us like a hammar and break us. - silveryaspen, 2009-01-16: 10:08:00

Good one! - Nosila, 2009-01-16: 20:46:00

This one's destined to be a classic. - metrohumanx, 2009-01-21: 15:34:00

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Created by: diyan627

Pronunciation: gram-a-mend

Sentence: Rohit was a grammamend I couldn't date, much less tolerate in any setting. So what? -I meant "couldn't bear it" rather than "couldn't bare it". He corrected me in the instant messenger, and my replying with "Ahh" was not good enough. He went on to say that he can't stand people who can't handle criticism, and he thinks I'm petty. He wouldn't move on until I cyber-bowed down before him and thanked him for putting me on the right path. Quite bizarre. At first I didn't mind the correction at all..It didn't even phase me.. It was his insistence for recognition of his brilliance that was the clincher! And he actually thought I'd go out with him for a first-meet after that.

Etymology: grammar + amend

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COMMENTS:

Sounds like a true story. [By the way, you mixed verb tenses in one of your sentences. — Yours Truly, Rohit] Just kidding, diyan. - Tigger, 2008-03-26: 23:10:00

Don't worry. I'm not your [hopefully fictional] linguistalker. - Tigger, 2008-03-26: 23:15:00

Tigger, "linguistalker" is correct! The linguadventure is a true tale. hahaha... And he did keep calling me and IMing me after that one, but I linguiblocked him. - diyan627, 2008-03-27: 11:48:00

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Created by: werdnurd

Pronunciation: gra-mud-jun (n)

Sentence: Feeling slighted by the improper use of the word good, the gramudgeon could not help but interject: "You mean well."

Etymology: grammar - the way the sentences of a language are constructed; morphology and syntax. curmudgeon - a bad-tempered, difficult, cantankerous person.

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COMMENTS:

Very good blend! - OZZIEBOB, 2008-03-26: 17:50:00

Hey, your 'Gramudgeon' should hook up with my 'Linguistickler'. - Tigger, 2008-03-26: 22:32:00

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Created by: artr

Pronunciation: gramerkraker

Sentence: James hates e-mail, not for its intrusive nature but the way most people use it. Worse yet is text messaging. (He refuses to call it texting) When someone sends him a message, he replies with a corrected edition of the original message with commas, hyphens, spelling and proper verb tense. He won't respond to the content until the originator sends it back in its corrected form. His friends have started calling him a grammarcracker. He is amused by the term but won't actually type it because it isn't in the dictionary.

Etymology: grammar (the whole system and structure of a language) + cracker (a fine example of something)

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COMMENTS:

I h8 txtn 2. - wayoffcenter, 2009-01-16: 04:46:00

And a very nice play on graham crackers! - silveryaspen, 2009-01-16: 10:12:00

Show them no Grammercy! - Nosila, 2009-01-16: 20:44:00

Those purists can really contaminate our ebonics. - metrohumanx, 2009-01-21: 15:35:00

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Created by: doseydotes

Pronunciation: ˈgra-mər-ˈä-dər

Sentence: Jacob turned to his dad. “Me and Jim are going to the mall . . .” “Jim’s not mean,” Tim interrupted. “What?” Jacob asked. “Jim’s not mean. You said he was mean,” replied his dad. “Oh, DAD. JIM AND I are going to the mall,” said Jacob, exasperated. “Your dad is such a grammarauder,” whispered Jim. “TELL me about it,” grumbled Jacob.

Etymology: From the Greek, gram, meaning "really old lady with really good cookies"; from the Neptune, mer, meaning "handsome eunich water sprite"; from the Shyamalan, aud, meaning "strangeness bordering on scariness which is somehow still lucrative"; and from the Irish, er, a place-holder in speech which prevents others from talking while one thinks of something else to say.

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COMMENTS:

Sounds somehow familiar. And the obscure etymological sources from whence your creations spring never cease to amaze. - stache, 2008-03-26: 10:58:00

marauder could be someone who goes in search of blunder - Jabberwocky, 2008-03-26: 11:41:00

Grammatical Error - When Grandma screws up. Interesting blend. (Johnny Hart, The Book of Phrases - BC Comic Strip) - OZZIEBOB, 2008-03-26: 17:10:00

Oh, that's my #1 pet peeve — when people say 'me and ' where they should say ' and I'. - Tigger, 2008-03-26: 23:01:00

That didn't show up right. I meant — when people say 'me and [so-and-so]' where they should say '[so-and-so] and I'. - Tigger, 2008-03-26: 23:03:00

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Created by: Jabberwocky

Pronunciation: the/good/gram/air/i/tan

Sentence: Thegoodgrammaritan is a selfless individual who will stop to correct bad grammar no matter what the consequences to himself might be.

Etymology: good + grammar + the good samartitan

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COMMENTS:

Nice word. Montaigne said: " The basis of most of the world's troubles are matters of grammar" - OZZIEBOB, 2008-03-26: 17:07:00

Clever entry! - Tigger, 2008-03-26: 23:17:00

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Created by: mweinmann

Pronunciation: speek - ur - tweek - ur

Sentence: Margerie could not listen to anyone without "tweaking" their statements so that the speaker's grammar and voice inflection were correct in the context of the sentence. Her family and friends became loath to even talk to her for fear of being corrected. Other than being a speakertweaker, Margerie's biggest compulsion was playing Verbotomy every day and checking her scores every hour.

Etymology: Speaker (someone who expresses in language; someone who talks) + tweaker (a person who tweaks something) tweak (fine-tune: adjust finely)

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COMMENTS:

nice one! - galwaywegian, 2009-01-16: 11:41:00

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