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Verbotomist's Delight

This is a Darwinian greenhouse. Please rate each verbotomy. Click on the "Up" arrow if you liked it. Click on the "Down" arrow if you didn't. To see the top verboticisms for each definition, visit the archives on the Verbotomy Blog.

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What do you think of my latest dance moves?

DEFINITION: n. A person who, despite professional lessons and incessant practice, cannot dance without looking like a ruptured goose. v. To dance in an awkward or clumsy manner.

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The thing I love about internet dating...

DEFINITION: v. To arrange with a friend to phone you with a "crisis" during a blind date, in case you need to make an emergency exit; n. A fake "emergency" phone call that is used to end a blind date.

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The Boss has just approved my new cost-cutting plan!

DEFINITION: v. To propose and win approval for cost-saving reforms, which when implemented result in the immediate elimination of your job. n. An ambitious budget-slasher who accidentally cuts themselves out of a job.

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Let me help you with that zipper

DEFINITION: v. To insist on helping someone in spite of their repeated assurance that they have things well in hand, and already have their own remedies in mind. n. Unwanted help or assistance.

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-15
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I just got off the phone with my mother!

DEFINITION: v. To take the frustration and anger you receive from one person and redirect it towards another person, usually of lower status. n. An act of aggression directed towards an individual or object that was not the source of provocation.

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How did you get your boyfriend to stop scratching his nuts?

DEFINITION: v. To prevent someone from participating in an undesired activity by engaging them in another activity which makes it impossible to do the first. n. Two things cannot be done at the same time.

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I can't believe I fell in love with this guy

DEFINITION: n. An ingrained habit which is so entrenched in individual's personality that they practically have an identity crisis if anyone tries to change it. v. To try to modify a person's instinctive behavior and/or unconscious habits.

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Honey, you just ran a red light!

DEFINITION: v. To unintentionally encourage bad behavior by responding to it in a manner that incites even worse behavior. n. A response designed to stop bad behavior, which paradoxically produces more of it.

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>> More Verbotomy from the past...

To see the favorite Verboticisms of the day from the past, visit the archives on the Verbotomy Blog.