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Verbotomist's Delight

This is a Darwinian greenhouse. Please rate each verbotomy. Click on the "Up" arrow if you liked it. Click on the "Down" arrow if you didn't. To see the top verboticisms for each definition, visit the archives on the Verbotomy Blog.

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Aaaaaaahh! It's alive!

DEFINITION: n. The unexpected moment of horror when you realize that you're sharing your bathroom shower with thousands of rapidly replicating fungi, commonly known as orange slime. v. To be colonized by orange slime.

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5
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I can open this thing!

DEFINITION: v., To strain with all your might in a desperate effort to open a sealed container, such as a jar of pickles. n., A small jar which cannot be opened.

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4
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Honey, I was lost at the mall...

DEFINITION: v., To find a lost item immediately after purchasing a replacement. n., An item which is lost and cannot not be found unless a replacement is purchased.

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6
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Let me hold the door for you...

DEFINITION: n., A gallant gesture which does not produce the desired effect because of poor execution. v., To offer a small gesture of assistance, which backfires as you trip over your own kind intentions.

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2
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Please do not talk to me while we are in the office.

DEFINITION: v., To ignore a "friend" at work because you don't want anyone else to know that you are friends. n., A co-worker and secret "best friend" with whom it is best to keep your friendship confidential.

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-1
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This bank machine is so stupid.

DEFINITION: v., To have the strength of character, persistence of heart, and dimness of wit to follow an unchanging course of action even when it is completely ineffective. n., A person who unhappily does the same thing over and over again.

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3
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Oh no! I hate it when my husband tries to dress me!

DEFINITION: v., To carefully place a lid on a bottle, especially a salad dressing bottle, so that it appears closed and will not spill unless the bottle is moved or shaken. n., A bottle which has been prepared in such a manner.

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>> More Verbotomy from the past...

To see the favorite Verboticisms of the day from the past, visit the archives on the Verbotomy Blog.