Verboticism: Calmamity
DEFINITION: v. To remain calm, steadfast and ploddingly systematic in the midst of a huge freaking disaster. n. A person who systematizes everything from their morning routines to personal relationships.
Voted For: Calmamity
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Calmandant
Created by: Nosila
Pronunciation: colm man dant
Sentence: His real name was Edward Edwards, but we called him Steady Eddie. His middle name was Danger, you just knew it. He was the Safety Officer at work. You know, the guy they have to have on staff by law, who has weekly boring meetings, who arranges first-aid classes ad nauseum, who sends out zillions of safety tips and preventative brochures. You know, the guy who loves to organize fire drills, creates emergency preparedness policies, who lives for Fire Prevention Week or news of the Pandemic,who arranges yearly flu shots, who handles bomb scares, suicide preventions, does random drug testing and tries to beat his last timed evacuation record. He can't wait to have to call the CDC in Atlanta, the FAA, ER, SWAT,Interpol, WCB,EPA, FireRescue, Coast Guard, National Guard and any other agencies on his speed-dial. He lives to test our flashlight batteries, extinguishers, carbon monoxide detectors and the oxygen masks that he has installed over our desks, like the airlines. Don't get me wrong, we need guys like Steady Eddie, but did he have to enjoy a career based on potential tragedy so much? Although excited by the prospect of a looming calamity, he always remained cool, calm and efficient. Steady Eddie was the Master of Disaster; he was the AntiCrisis; the Apocalypse Mao; The Tragically Equipped; Genghis Yes-You-Can; Attila The Nine-One-One; Napoleon Bones-a-part; The Wizard of Gauze...Yes, he was our own Calmandant. They said he even stayed calm when the aliens abducted him one morning and took him with them to probe at will, never to get to wear his reflective safety vest and clipboard again. There's just no known drill to prevent that kind of incident!
Etymology: calm (steadiness of mind under stress;marked by freedom from agitation or excitement) & commandant (someone in an official position of authority who can command or control others)
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COMMENTS:
"Apocalypse Mao" was just too funny! Excellent. - Tigger, 2008-07-10: 02:03:00
CALMANDANT is cool- Steady Eddy is just the kind of take-charge guy we need ......not - metrohumanx, 2008-07-10: 07:50:00
very apt - Jabberwocky, 2008-07-10: 09:37:00
Steady Eddie is indeed needed in these types of situations, - at least, he'd keep everyone laughing. - OZZIEBOB, 2008-07-11: 18:23:00
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Supermanual
Created by: galwaywegian
Pronunciation: soo purr man ewe ahl
Sentence: The Supermanual did everything for by the book, which is why she bought him the Kama Sutra for Christmas. unfortunately it was in Spanish, sohe had to have it translated by his cousin, the Supermanuel
Etymology: superman manual (manuel)
Placidhead
Created by: toadstool57
Pronunciation: pla-sid-hed
Sentence: Dave had to be a placidhead because Jill was always chaotic.
Etymology: placid, acidhead
Steadyeddy
Created by: Nosila
Pronunciation: sted dee ed dee
Sentence: When Ed Dodds was faced with flooded streets in his hometown, after tornadoes and torrential rains, he remained calm and helped his neighbours. He organized boats to help steadyeddy them to higher ground and safety and kept up their spirits. He would have been eligible for a some kind of hero award, had he and his boat not ended up being beamed into a passing UFO spacecraft.Now his neighbours all call out to the skies, "E.D., phone home".
Etymology: Steady (steadfast, calm, reliable) & Eddy (swirling whirlpool or whirlwind and a guy's name)
Disafearance
Created by: lumina
Pronunciation: dis/a/feer/ance
Sentence: When Julie found herself on an emergency Walmart run at 2 in the morning, she was glad she had mastered disafearance. No way did she want her ex and his model girlfriend to know how humiliated she was to be seen in her holey sweats as well as braless.
Etymology: the ability to "disappear" from the siight of others due to intense "fear" of being seen.
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COMMENTS:
DISAFEARANCE needed in a brave new world... - metrohumanx, 2008-07-10: 20:54:00
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Fiascool
Created by: pinwheel
Pronunciation: fee/as/cool
Sentence: The caterers were running late, the flowers were wilting, the groom was still running around naked after his stag night and I was struggling to get into my dress. It was all a horrible mess but throughout it all James, the best man, was totally fiascool.
Etymology: fiasco + cool
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COMMENTS:
he probably went to fiaschool! - galwaywegian, 2007-05-10: 07:18:00
Maybe he had studied how to remain calm. He was a fiascholar. - petaj, 2007-05-11: 02:13:00
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Herosterics
Created by: janatic
Pronunciation:
Sentence: When the proverbial feces hits the fan, you can count on Stan to fall into herosterics.
Etymology: hero + hysterics
Analofile
Created by: ldikarev
Pronunciation: anal-O-file
Sentence: / We are expanding our local offices and looking for skilled, synergetic, analofiles. / Alternative spelling - analophile, analophil / Derivatives - analophilia
Etymology: anal(-retentive) + -phile (Greek - love, friendship)
Staotic
Created by: ekath
Pronunciation: stay-ot-tick
Sentence: Todd is so staotic that he didn't even cry out when the acid splashed in his face... he just calmly went over and pulled the safety shower. When it fire-hosed him into the ground, he shakily stood up and asked to go to the nurse's office. Carol should have been more like Todd.
Etymology: from stable + chaotic
Medirate
Created by: jonobo
Pronunciation: medirate
Sentence: The Situation was abso-bruce-funkin'-lee out of control but he medirated the whole maelstrom down to the two important factors for survival: stay cool ! After medirating for a second i knew exactly what to do.
Etymology: meditation + rational + rate