Vote for the best verboticism.

'Ahhh! My hair! Don't let them see me like this!'

DEFINITION: v. To remain calm, steadfast and ploddingly systematic in the midst of a huge freaking disaster. n. A person who systematizes everything from their morning routines to personal relationships.

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Verboticisms

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Catatoniclysmic

Created by: airlie

Pronunciation: KAT-a-ton-uh-KLIZ-mic

Sentence: Gazing upon Geraldine's panicked visage, Irving remained catatoniclysmic. He knew what to do. This was no crisis, this was merely one of those moments that make life worth smiling about. "AAAAHGGGH!" screeched Geraldine. "My hair! Don't let them see me like this!" She gripped his shirt, knuckles white, fabric strained to button-popping point. Irving blinked slowly, and a beatific smile spread across his face. "Don't panic, honey." He soothed. "I'm the sysadmin! I'll 403 everyone." Geraldine breathed a sigh of relief... and her relief lasted for a millesecond until she caught sight of her fire-engine red and day-old-bruise purple coiffe in the mirror. She fled to the bathroom in hysterics. Irving blinked slowly.

Etymology: CATACLYSM: any violent upheaval, esp. one of a social or political nature + CATATONIC, adjectival form of CATATONIA: a syndrome seen most frequently in schizophrenia, characterized by muscular rigidity and mental stupor, sometimes alternating with great excitement and confusion

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COMMENTS:

metrohumanx CATATONICLYSMIC is hilarious! Great word, Airlie... - metrohumanx, 2008-07-10: 08:02:00

terrific word - Jabberwocky, 2008-07-10: 09:29:00

Very gloomly; very great word. - OZZIEBOB, 2008-07-11: 18:11:00

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Chilloose

Created by: eiggy

Pronunciation: chill+loose

Sentence: Shirley: Oh no! Fire-breathing miniature elephants have invaded Chicago! We're doomed! Wellington: Chilloosen up, honey. There's no way Oprah would allow that kind of nonsense.

Etymology: from Latin ciele (cold) and Middle English loos (free from bonds)

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Chaostoicize

Created by: Clayton

Pronunciation: KEY-uh-STOH-i-sahyz

Sentence: Jeremy's uncanny ability to chaostoicize set him apart from the other rodeo clowns.

Etymology: chaos + stoic + ize

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Nincalmpoop

Created by: bookowl

Pronunciation: nin/cawm/poop

Sentence: A nincalmpoop remains calm in an emergency because he doesn't understand its ramifications. e.g. Just stand with me under this tall oak tree until the thunder and lightening have stopped.

Etymology: nincompoop + calm

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COMMENTS:

Funny! - TJayzz, 2008-07-10: 10:24:00

Ditto - OZZIEBOB, 2008-07-11: 18:10:00

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Spock

Created by: autophile

Pronunciation: SPOCK

Sentence: Ron's boss panicked because his boss's boss panicked, and on up the line because sh*t flows downhill, but Ron casually spocked the problem and there was panic no more.

Etymology: From Star Trek's unflappable rational scientist, Mr. Spock.

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COMMENTS:

Gotta love Spock. In real life, he's a poet as well. I think he'd approve of Verbotomy. - purpleartichokes, 2007-05-10: 19:37:00

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Numbfreak

Created by: remistram

Pronunciation: numm - freek

Sentence: Ted numbfreaked like a pro when he was told that everyone in the office was being fired. He took his coffee cup and he went home. Needless to say he won the numbfreak employee of the month award.

Etymology: numb (to be indifferent, non-feeling), freak (as in irrationally emotional, an anomoly)

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Flusterbuster

Created by: purpleartichokes

Pronunciation: fluh-stir-buh-stir

Sentence: While other spill responders were running around chaotically, I was able to flusterbuster the calm of Stuporman, knowing full well that the "white powdery substance" in the men's room was likely some guy's athlete's foot treatment.

Etymology: fluster, buster

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COMMENTS:

That has a neat sound to it! - jedijawa, 2007-05-10: 11:45:00

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Medirate

Created by: jonobo

Pronunciation: medirate

Sentence: The Situation was abso-bruce-funkin'-lee out of control but he medirated the whole maelstrom down to the two important factors for survival: stay cool ! After medirating for a second i knew exactly what to do.

Etymology: meditation + rational + rate

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Fiascool

Created by: pinwheel

Pronunciation: fee/as/cool

Sentence: The caterers were running late, the flowers were wilting, the groom was still running around naked after his stag night and I was struggling to get into my dress. It was all a horrible mess but throughout it all James, the best man, was totally fiascool.

Etymology: fiasco + cool

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COMMENTS:

he probably went to fiaschool! - galwaywegian, 2007-05-10: 07:18:00

petaj Maybe he had studied how to remain calm. He was a fiascholar. - petaj, 2007-05-11: 02:13:00

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Analofile

Created by: ldikarev

Pronunciation: anal-O-file

Sentence: / We are expanding our local offices and looking for skilled, synergetic, analofiles. / Alternative spelling - analophile, analophil / Derivatives - analophilia

Etymology: anal(-retentive) + -phile (Greek - love, friendship)

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Comments:

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2007-05-10: 00:01:00
Today's definition was inspired by Cory Doctorow's short story "When Sysadmins Ruled the Earth" which is published in Overclocked, and was suggested by autophile. Thank you Cory and autophile! ~ James

nostalgia75 nostalgia75 - 2008-07-10: 13:08:00
I'm still grinning at this one. Well done!

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2009-11-26: 00:04:00
Today's definition was suggested by doctorow. Thank you doctorow. ~ James