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'Ahhh! My hair! Don't let them see me like this!'

DEFINITION: v. To remain calm, steadfast and ploddingly systematic in the midst of a huge freaking disaster. n. A person who systematizes everything from their morning routines to personal relationships.

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Verboticisms

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Catatoniclysmic

Created by: airlie

Pronunciation: KAT-a-ton-uh-KLIZ-mic

Sentence: Gazing upon Geraldine's panicked visage, Irving remained catatoniclysmic. He knew what to do. This was no crisis, this was merely one of those moments that make life worth smiling about. "AAAAHGGGH!" screeched Geraldine. "My hair! Don't let them see me like this!" She gripped his shirt, knuckles white, fabric strained to button-popping point. Irving blinked slowly, and a beatific smile spread across his face. "Don't panic, honey." He soothed. "I'm the sysadmin! I'll 403 everyone." Geraldine breathed a sigh of relief... and her relief lasted for a millesecond until she caught sight of her fire-engine red and day-old-bruise purple coiffe in the mirror. She fled to the bathroom in hysterics. Irving blinked slowly.

Etymology: CATACLYSM: any violent upheaval, esp. one of a social or political nature + CATATONIC, adjectival form of CATATONIA: a syndrome seen most frequently in schizophrenia, characterized by muscular rigidity and mental stupor, sometimes alternating with great excitement and confusion

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COMMENTS:

metrohumanx CATATONICLYSMIC is hilarious! Great word, Airlie... - metrohumanx, 2008-07-10: 08:02:00

terrific word - Jabberwocky, 2008-07-10: 09:29:00

Very gloomly; very great word. - OZZIEBOB, 2008-07-11: 18:11:00

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Panicstilled

Created by: Maureen

Pronunciation: pan-ic-stil-d

Sentence: "Darling come home quickly, the tree has fallen across the house, all the windows are broken and the dog is dead." Mark, ever the panicstiller, said "Don't worry sweeheart I'll pick up a spade on the way home so we can bury poor Charlie."

Etymology: Panic - a state of terror and Still - calm, tranquil.

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Turtaculous

Created by: vetmommy2

Pronunciation: turr-tack-you-luss

Sentence: The preacher's remarkable focus on his sermon was turtaculous in the midst of the absolute spectacle created when the bewildered and astonished parents of the streaking toddler ran after her up the aisle of the overcrowded and sweltering church. (OK, this didn't actually happen, but easily could have when my toddler removed all her clothes in the cry room at church a few weekends ago and then grabbed the doorknob to let herself out...)

Etymology: turtle + spectacular + fabulous: imagining a turtle pulling its head and stuff into its shell as the mad world goes racing and clamoring past it...

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COMMENTS:

Very interesting:love the "turtle" element. - OZZIEBOB, 2008-07-11: 18:13:00

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Numbfreak

Created by: remistram

Pronunciation: numm - freek

Sentence: Ted numbfreaked like a pro when he was told that everyone in the office was being fired. He took his coffee cup and he went home. Needless to say he won the numbfreak employee of the month award.

Etymology: numb (to be indifferent, non-feeling), freak (as in irrationally emotional, an anomoly)

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Flusterbuster

Created by: purpleartichokes

Pronunciation: fluh-stir-buh-stir

Sentence: While other spill responders were running around chaotically, I was able to flusterbuster the calm of Stuporman, knowing full well that the "white powdery substance" in the men's room was likely some guy's athlete's foot treatment.

Etymology: fluster, buster

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COMMENTS:

That has a neat sound to it! - jedijawa, 2007-05-10: 11:45:00

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Crisystematic

libertybelle

Created by: libertybelle

Pronunciation: cry-sis-tim-at-tick

Sentence: Being a trauma physician with OCD, Dr. Bank was very crisystematic; he would literally pull a flow chart out of his lab coat for each and every code blue that he worked on. You would think after 20 years of practice he would rely on his memory for some of it. True Story!!

Etymology: crisis + systematic

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COMMENTS:

libertybelle Also - this illustration made me lol this morning! - libertybelle, 2011-04-15: 07:34:00

good one! - Nosila, 2011-04-15: 11:30:00

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Catastaunch

Created by: ErWenn

Pronunciation: /kəˈtæˌstɔːntʃ/

Sentence: When calamity strikes, it's often surprising to see who steps up to catastaunch the flow of disaster; it's not always whom you expect.

Etymology: from catastrophe + staunch (meaning both "steadfast" and "to stop the flow of")

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Wolfowitz

uriash

Created by: uriash

Pronunciation: Wol-Fo-Witz

Sentence: Don't start Wolfowitzing now! You must run for your life!

Etymology: after Paul Wolfowitz

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Spock

Created by: autophile

Pronunciation: SPOCK

Sentence: Ron's boss panicked because his boss's boss panicked, and on up the line because sh*t flows downhill, but Ron casually spocked the problem and there was panic no more.

Etymology: From Star Trek's unflappable rational scientist, Mr. Spock.

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COMMENTS:

Gotta love Spock. In real life, he's a poet as well. I think he'd approve of Verbotomy. - purpleartichokes, 2007-05-10: 19:37:00

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Zensible

Created by: Stevenson0

Pronunciation: Pronunciation: zen/si/bol

Sentence: Joe is zensible in the worst situations, remaining centered and focussed on what needs to be done to avert disaster and calmly following through.

Etymology: ZEN (calmness and enlightenment through meditation and self-contemplation) + SENSIBLE (having, using, or showing good sense, or sound judgmen)

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Comments:

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2007-05-10: 00:01:00
Today's definition was inspired by Cory Doctorow's short story "When Sysadmins Ruled the Earth" which is published in Overclocked, and was suggested by autophile. Thank you Cory and autophile! ~ James

nostalgia75 nostalgia75 - 2008-07-10: 13:08:00
I'm still grinning at this one. Well done!

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2009-11-26: 00:04:00
Today's definition was suggested by doctorow. Thank you doctorow. ~ James