Verboticism: Permaneedle

'Why are you vacuuming the Christmas tree?'

DEFINITION: n., 1. A pine needle infestation, common during and after the holiday season. 2. Prickly Christmas guests who will not leave and cannot be cleaned up. v., To fall down during a holiday party and hide under a rug.

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Permaneedle

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Firensics

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: fir en siks

Sentence: It was time to call in Lt. Horatio "Eye Candy" Cane. You know...he of the red hair, straight face and cool sunglasses. His team would soon figure out where the infestation of green needles was coming from. Christmas was 6 months ago, so where was the source? Pulling off his cool shades and standing with hands on hip, the lieutenant said that the trail of firensics evidence lead to a bag in the garage, covered in dead boughs and green plastic. The ghost of Christmas Tree past.

Etymology: Fir (coniferous tree, often used a Christmas tree) & Forensics (relating to the use of scientific methods to solve crimes and to find out who committed them...the evidence the gathers to prove criminal activity)

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Permaneedle

Created by: remistram

Pronunciation: pur-muh-need-l

Sentence: She couldn't decide which was worse, the permaneedles that she found stuck in her slippers in June or the obnoxious neighbours that always overstayed their welcome.

Etymology: permanent + needle (as in coniferous tree needles) and (to heckle or tease)

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Coniferocious

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: cone iffer oshus

Sentence: Douglas Fir was a mild-mannered sap. His bark was certainly worse than his bite. He ran a Branch Office for his company and struggled to maintain profitability. Out of frustration, he ran for local politics and was elected. He was a coniferocious campaigner. People always used him to get votes and persuade the policymakers, but Doug would have no such influence. He just wanted to be the town Christmas Tree and light up peoples' lives. The only problem he had was that he shed a few thousand needles a day and when Christmas was finally over, he was a stick with lights on him. Needleless to say, his detractors who were larchly the undeciduous voters,would plant false stories about him in the cyPress. Despite what they said, he campaigned for the EverGreen Party. He was a tree Fir the People!

Etymology: conifer ( any gymnospermous tree or shrub bearing cones) & ferocious (marked by extreme and violent energy)

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COMMENTS:

metrohumanx Tree-mendous avalanche of chuckles, N! - metrohumanx, 2008-12-18: 17:39:00

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Scrourge

Created by: Jabberwocky

Pronunciation: scru/urj

Sentence: Bah humbug! Stepping on pine needles from Christmas past, present and future is the scrourge of Christmas.

Etymology: scrourge + scrooge

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Pestaclaus

Created by: OZZIEBOB

Pronunciation: PEST-tuh-klawz

Sentence: When Bob hadn't left Christmas celebrations at the home of Roxie's parents by New Year's day, her family decided that it was time to look for ways to kinstirpate this perdurable pestaclaus.

Etymology: PESTACLAUS: blend of pest & Santa Claus. KINSTIRPATE: (kin & extirpate)-not my word: source??

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Nevergreenuisance

Created by: Redrover

Pronunciation: never+gree+nuisance

Sentence: This was absolutely the last Christmas that Nancy and Jason were going to spend the entire month of December cleaning up after either their nevergreenuisance tree or Jason's bratty nephews.

Etymology: nevergreen = trees that are in the midst of their death throes while still on the tree lot. Nuisance = obnoxious relatives

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Pinfest

Created by: spickaspanner

Pronunciation: Pin-fest

Sentence: Quick we need to get rid of the christmas tree before we get a pinfest!

Etymology:

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Pestaclaus

Created by: OZZIEBOB

Pronunciation: PEST-tuh-klawz

Sentence: When Bob hadn't left Christmas celebrations at the home of Roxie's parents by New Year's day, her family decided that it was time to look for ways to kinstirpate this perdurable pestaclaus.

Etymology: PESTACLAUS: blend of pest & Santa Claus. KINSTIRPATE: (kin & extirpate)-not my word: source??

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COMMENTS:

funny - Jabberwocky, 2007-12-17: 13:36:00

I'm a fan of Kinstirpate, but maybe it should be (kin + constipate), i.e. like when you can get the kin-folk to leave, your house is kinstirpated. - Tigger, 2007-12-17: 23:34:00

Ah, I meant "like when you _can't_ get the kin-folk to leave..." - Tigger, 2007-12-17: 23:36:00

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Carpettunnelsyndrome

Created by: purpleartichokes

Pronunciation: car-pet-ton-nul-sin-drum

Sentence: Every December, my living room rug gets carpettunnelsyndrome from the tree needles. The rug rasps eventually get vacuumed up or compost by June.

Etymology: carpal tunnel syndrome, carpet, tunnel

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COMMENTS:

Superb! - Mustang, 2007-12-17: 06:09:00

ouch - Jabberwocky, 2007-12-17: 13:37:00

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Needlebain

Created by: roger153

Pronunciation: needle / bain

Sentence: Every year we have to put up with this same needlebain all over the house.

Etymology: pine needle mess

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