Verboticism: Portfonio

DEFINITION: n. A prop (e.g. papers, files or any non-functional equipment) used to create the illusion of busyness. v. To use office supplies to create the illusion that you are working.
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Portfonio
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Excellusion
Created by: CharlieB
Pronunciation: ex-sell-usion
Sentence: You might think Bob is working hard on his spreadsheets. But they're not real. It's an excellusion.
Etymology: Excel (data spread sheets) + illusion (a false impression of reality)
Dosserier
Created by: galwaywegian
Pronunciation: dosss err eee ay
Sentence: he carried his dosserier with him everywhere, adding different coloured stickies each month or so to keep it looking fresh. He called it his licence to kill....time.
Etymology: dossier, dosser
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COMMENTS:
Hopefully the use of his dosserier won't come back to kick him in the dosserriere. - Clayton, 2007-06-13: 07:48:00
Maybe he carried it in a fanny pack - Jabberwocky, 2007-06-13: 09:26:00
How cheeky! - purpleartichokes, 2007-06-13: 10:36:00
i hate to butt in, but is there no rear end to these pun threads?! - jadenguy, 2007-06-13: 11:41:00
ooh that reminds me - it's lunchtime and now I'm in the moods for buns - Jabberwocky, 2007-06-13: 12:10:00
oops I meant mood - Jabberwocky, 2007-06-13: 12:11:00
I'm thinking it would be out-of-line to make a comment about sticky buns, but the air conditioner isn't working in my office today. - purpleartichokes, 2007-06-13: 12:36:00
Such a tool would be perfect for hiding the fact that you're just bumming around instead of working your @$$ off. - ErWenn, 2007-06-13: 14:05:00
Some might say you should just turn the other cheek, jadenguy, but I'm behind you 100% if you want to get to the bottom of this problem. - ErWenn, 2007-06-13: 14:10:00
Rear end to the pun threads? Tush, tush. I've got a haunch we'll be back end the saddle tomorrow. Now, let me hit the can and we can all go grab a Heinie. Fanny that I should put it that way... I've been glute to my seat the hole day. Sorry, that last one was for posteriority. - Clayton, 2007-06-13: 14:34:00
OMG Clayton and ErWenn! Too fanny! - purpleartichokes, 2007-06-13: 14:45:00
I think we should put an ASSterisk beside this definition - Jabberwocky, 2007-06-13: 14:47:00
i'm sorry if I came off a little anal before, as i didn't mean to be so stern. but i just find puns comical garbage that we'll always keep with us, but like junk in the trunk of your car that you forget about for as long as possible, bodonkadonk on wood. - jadenguy, 2007-06-13: 16:59:00
LMAO!! - purpleartichokes, 2007-06-13: 17:46:00
No butts about it, my friend laughed so hard it rectum! - petaj, 2007-06-14: 04:29:00
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Importmanteau
Created by: rephil
Pronunciation: im-PORT-man-toh
Sentence: Gerry's importmanteau always impressed visitors, but the maintenance man's keys signified he held more true power in the building.
Etymology: import -- rank, necessity, gravity; portmanteau -- a suitcase
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COMMENTS:
this is a great word!! - Jabberwocky, 2007-06-13: 14:48:00
Thanks -- I know I've had a few in my time! - rephil, 2007-06-13: 14:50:00
Erm -- importmanteaux, not great words! - rephil, 2007-06-13: 14:51:00
actually your words are terrific - there have just been so many good words to choose from lately - I especially like euphonia - Jabberwocky, 2007-06-13: 15:17:00
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Assidupicity
Created by: jesster
Pronunciation: Ass-id-you-plicity
Sentence: While Neville's constant assiduplicity never fooled the people that actually accomplished things, management was completely taken in. He was promoted so frequently that his failures never caught up to him, and soon was in charge of the entire department.
Etymology: assiduous (involved in often constant activity )+ duplicity (the inclination or practice of misleading others through lies or trickery)
Earpencil
Created by: texmom
Pronunciation: Eer pen sill
Sentence: He wandered around with an earpencil as if he were doing math.
Etymology: ear - yeah the body part pencil - simple graphic tool
Portfonio
Created by: mweinmann
Pronunciation: port - pfon - eeeooo
Sentence: Robert held tight to his large portfonio as he passed his manager's office. He really had nothing to do but he nicely played the part of a person who had millions of things to do and people to see.
Etymology: Portfolio - A collection of papers and accomplishment and another word for notebook. + phony (not real).
Phantofiles
Created by: Stevenson0
Pronunciation: fan/tuh/files
Sentence: John had six different coloured sets of phantofiles he alternated at various times of the day to keep 'The Man' off his case and to demonstrate his industriousness and multitasking abilities. "Damn, he's good!" thought his boss. "He's completed three different projects today and it's only noon." John's phantofiles put him in line for a raise.
Etymology: phantom + files
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COMMENTS:
hmm - good ploy - Jabberwocky, 2007-06-13: 10:53:00
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Simulaborig
Created by: metrohumanx
Pronunciation: SIM-uhl-AY-bore-ig
Sentence: The Bearded One entered with a brushed-aluminum clipboard under his arm, knowing it would cause a stir amongst the real workers. Every week he carried a new SIMULABORIG which gave the impression of semi-competence and enthusiasm which fooled no one. Last time it was a P.D.A. which made his productivity plummet faster than his dignity. His vain attempts to impress the boss ranged from a simple legal pad to a glowing little spaceship planted in his ear. Last year he attemped to SIMULABORIG a staff meeting but the only wireless hotspot was behind his sweaty forehead. The office joke was that he had a whole toybox full of SIMULABORIGS to shamelessly display at every opportunity. His manifolderol seemed to have no end. He would always carry some ubiquitool, unencumbered by any knowledge of its function. Particularly fond of pseudotechnocrap, he subscribed to every high-end gizmoid catalog available. Despite the appearance of The Bearded One's weekly McGuffen, his job performance brought new meaning to the word "adequate".
Etymology: SIMUlate+lABOr+RIG=SIMULABORIG_____ simulate: to give or assume the appearance or effect of... often with the intent to deceive--Latin "simulatus", past participle of "simulare"... to copy, represent, feign, from similis "like"_____ labor: expenditure of physical or mental effort especially when difficult or compulsory-Middle English, from Anglo-French labur, from Latin labor; perhaps akin to Latin labare to totter, labi to slip_____rig: to make or construct hastily or in a makeshift manner-Me riggen,prob of Scand.orig____variations: simulaborite, simulaborana, simulaborat, simulaborology etc.
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COMMENTS:
http://isitchristmas.com/ - metrohumanx, 2008-08-06: 08:41:00
My name is MetrohumanX and I improve this message. - metrohumanx, 2008-08-06: 16:26:00
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Tomfilery
Created by: Wordotwist
Pronunciation: Tom fie la ree
Sentence: Zain was an expert at timefilery;always carrying about a load of files and walking rapidy when moving in front of the boss's window - to give the impression he was very busy.
Etymology: from tomfoolery
