Verboticism: Beautifake

'Why are you putting that by the front door?'

DEFINITION: n., An ugly decorative item or article of clothing received from friends or relatives, which is kept stored away but ready to be pulled out at a moment's notice in anticipation of a return visit. v., To temporarily place an old, and perhaps unattractive gift in a place of honor.

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Prezzidigitate

Created by: OZZIEBOB

Pronunciation: PREZZ-ee-DIJ-ee-TATE

Sentence: Bob had just put away the kitschsake toaster-clock his mother had given him many years before, when he heard the news that his mother-in-law was on her way over to his place. Quickly, and in order not to offend her, he rummaged through an old trunk in his garage to find the indoor sundial she had given him as a birthday present. Fortunately for him, with good luck and a dash of good memory, he found it and prezzidigitated it, as a dragonsop, into a place of prominence and importance for her to see.

Etymology: Blend of PREZZI: (slang for present, gift.) & PRESTIDIGITATE: to be manually dexterios in the execution of tricks ; sleight of hand. KITSCHSAKE: Conflation of KITSCH(from German)meaning: gaudy, trashy objects or items and (OE) SAKE, as in "keepsake", meaning an item kept for the sake of the giver. DRAGONSOP: DRAGON-Slang term for mother-in-law or wife; SOP: Anything given (or done)to pacify; -- so called from the sop given to Cerberus, as related in mythology.

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COMMENTS:

Works like magic for me! - silveryaspen, 2008-12-16: 22:36:00

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Crappreciate

Created by: Nuwanda

Pronunciation: crap-pree-she-ate

Sentence: After hearing that his Aunt Marsha was coming to the baby shower, Kyle ran to the basement, dug out the" painting of the shore birds that Marsha had "commissioned" her best friend to do for their house and put it in a prominent spot where everyone could crappreciate it.

Etymology: Crap + Appreciate

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Nandoohickey

Created by: dochanne

Pronunciation: Nan-doo-hickey

Sentence: Dave looked high and low, knowing Sandra would have hidden the dastardly thing well, and eventually found it. Tucked behind the blankets on the bottom shelf in the linen cupboard, he found his grandmother's favourite teapot, the grotesque frills and golden seashells just too much to bear. But Nanna was coming for tea and would expect her most obvious rellymajigs to be on show. "Good grief!" said Sandra, "You can't expect me to use that awful nandoohickey! I should have dropped the damn thing last time."

Etymology: Nan or nanna - grandmother, or great-aunt, frequently known for giving strange or age-inappropriate gifts because you were five last time they saw you. Doohickey - gadget, thingamebob or whatchamacallit that some dolt gave you but you don't know what to do with.

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COMMENTS:

Good one - OZZIEBOB, 2008-12-17: 04:10:00

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Interimantlepiece

Created by: hendrixius

Pronunciation: /in-tur-ruh-man-tull-pees/

Sentence: John reluctantly displayed the interimantlepiece over the couch in the family room, despite the fact that a singing bass did not exactly match the room's decor.

Etymology: "interim" and "mantle-piece"

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Sightelephant

Created by: mweinmann

Pronunciation: site - el - e - fant

Sentence: Every gift that Jan's dad had given them seemed to be something he must have obtained as a "White Elephant" in a gift swap or, the only other explanation was that he shopped for them at flea markets. Whenever he came to their house, they had to quickly bring them up from storage so they could be seen....thus becoming a sightelephant until he left....

Etymology: Sight (range of vision, ability to see) + "White Elephant" (Gifts that are inexpensive, humorous or used items from home)

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Treasuredpest

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: tres shured pest

Sentence: It all started when Fred's father was in prison and made everyone items in the woodshop for Christmas. Most of the family got normal, carved items, like ducks or horses or dogs. But lucky Fred was given a large whittled evil-looking rat. It's beady eyes followed you around the room and the little kids were scared of it. When his Dad was paroled, he came each major holiday to visit with Fred and his family, and they would have to dig out "You dirty rat" as it became known to proudly display on the mantle. Fred's wife was afraid to dust it and it became a treasuredpest, much to the smug laughter of other family members. They all knew Fred got the treasuredpest because he had been the one to phone Crimestoppers and turn in the old man for passing counterfeit money in the first place. So much for anonymity!

Etymology: Treasured (something valued or feeling fondness for) & Pest (something persistently annoying) & Play on term Treasure Chest (a chest filled with valuables)

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Drekorations

artr

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: drekərāshən

Sentence: John and Mary loved their friend Holly. The problem is that Holly loves "outsider" art. Terms like found objects made John and Mary cringe. Several years ago Holly had given them a string of garland made of old soup cans, painted egg cartons, and even beads made from dried bear scat. Because Holly was such a regular visitor, there was no way they could get away with NOT putting up this drekoration. As they wrapped the garland around the banister John would quietly sing to himself, "Deck the halls with bowels from Holly".

Etymology: drek (rubbish; trash) + Decoration (the process or art of decorating or adorning something)

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COMMENTS:

That stinks! :-) - wayoffcenter, 2008-12-16: 04:45:00

Retroshabby.....the new chic. - Mustang, 2008-12-16: 20:59:00

Fabulous. - dochanne, 2008-12-16: 22:59:00

Fabulous. - dochanne, 2008-12-17: 01:34:00

Terrific - always wanted to use dreck in a verbotomy. - OZZIEBOB, 2008-12-17: 04:09:00

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Whitelephantasmagoria

karenanne

Created by: karenanne

Pronunciation: whyt EL eh fan TAZ ma GOR ee ah

Sentence: Over the holidays, my house becomes a whitelephantasmagoria of sorts, as I rotate in and out the succession of useless and hideous items given to me over the years by various relatives. I have to keep a calendar of who is coming when, so that the correct one is on display on the correct day. God forbid I put out the horrid quilt made for my grandchildren by their grandmother, my EX-mother-in-law, when my CURRENT mother-in-law visits. She has an uncanny sense for such things.

Etymology: white elephant + phantasmagoria (a constantly shifting complex succession of things seen or imagined; a series or group of strange or bizarre images seen as if in a dream)

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COMMENTS:

Whitelephantasmagoria are kept in a special trunk...good word - Nosila, 2009-12-16: 22:15:00

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Zombift

Created by: grauntlet

Pronunciation: zam bIft

Sentence: His wife was beginning to serve tea to her mother when Duncan said: "where did you get this god-awful tea set? why dont you get the nice one?". His wife didn't have the time to warn him about the zombift.

Etymology: zombie + gift

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Embhellishment

Created by: Jabberwocky

Pronunciation: emb/hell/ish/ment

Sentence: Sally prided herself on her home's sleek minimilist decor and cringed in horror every time she had to bedeck the bathroom in the fuzzy pink acrylic toilet embhellishments her best friend had given her.

Etymology: embellishment + hellish

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COMMENTS:

Nice - TJayzz, 2008-12-16: 13:14:00

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