Verboticisms

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: hawr-uh-bohl

Sentence: Tom's mom is coming to visit for Christmas so out of the closet comes the horribowl she gave him last year.

Etymology: Horrible (extremely unpleasant; deplorable; disgusting) + bowl (hollow, concave container)

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Created by: TJayzz

Pronunciation: i-store

Sentence: When Dave's Auntie Joan had given him the hideous orange and green vase for Christmas last year he smiled broadly and thanked her very much telling her it was beautiful. However as soon as she had left he wrapped up the eyestore and put it straight into the loft. Auntie Joan is due to visit again this year on christmas day, so the plan is to get in the loft on Christmas eve and put the offending object in pride of place on the mantlepiece in the hope that it fools her into thinking that it has been there all year.

Etymology: Play on Eyesore

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Created by: emdeejay

Pronunciation: Faye Solder

Sentence: Dear old Aunt Faye. She would be best described as having a heart of gold, being generous to a fault, and possessing a taste for the profoundly kitsch. The cupboards of her relatives were stacked to the brim with gifts ranging from the impossibly garish, to the patently absurd. This year, Jayne and John were taking their turn at hosting the family festive gathering. Some show of appreciation for Faye's presence would have to be shown, so after a short deliberation it was down with the Salvador Dali print, and up with "Big Mouth Billy Bass"! Fortunately the luncheon passed without major incident; the family chipper, overfed, and blissfully subdued. Suddenly, an uncomfortable silence fell over the mirthful murmur as Faye inquired: "John whatever became of that delightful water feature I gave you, or that fabulous paisley shirt?" Faceholder to the rescue! John strolled casually over to Billy Bass and just before pressing the button he remarked "Dear Aunt Faye! My shirt has been worn so often, it's at the tailors for a mend. But Billy you see is the pride of the mantle!" And the family, relieved, joined Billy in a rousing rendition of "Take me to the river"

Etymology: Placeholder: Object or entity employed until an adequate replacement can be found. Face (to save): action employed for the purpose of maintaining dignity.

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Created by: dochanne

Pronunciation: Nan-doo-hickey

Sentence: Dave looked high and low, knowing Sandra would have hidden the dastardly thing well, and eventually found it. Tucked behind the blankets on the bottom shelf in the linen cupboard, he found his grandmother's favourite teapot, the grotesque frills and golden seashells just too much to bear. But Nanna was coming for tea and would expect her most obvious rellymajigs to be on show. "Good grief!" said Sandra, "You can't expect me to use that awful nandoohickey! I should have dropped the damn thing last time."

Etymology: Nan or nanna - grandmother, or great-aunt, frequently known for giving strange or age-inappropriate gifts because you were five last time they saw you. Doohickey - gadget, thingamebob or whatchamacallit that some dolt gave you but you don't know what to do with.

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COMMENTS:

Good one - OZZIEBOB, 2008-12-17: 04:10:00

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Created by: petaj

Pronunciation: horror-on-er

Sentence: Holly hauled the horrific heirloom out of the house and secreted it behind a heavyduty tarpaulin in the shed. She felt sure that Granny, at 94, would surely not live to see out another Christmas. This was likely the last time she would have to horroronour the hand-carved horologue.

Etymology: horror + honour

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COMMENTS:

Hysterical :-) - emdeejay, 2008-12-16: 05:39:00

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Created by: artr

Pronunciation: əgləmənt

Sentence: Bill and Joan have one of the prettiest Christmas trees in the neighborhood. The only thing that keeps it from being the best is the huge uglament they are obligated to hang prominently on their tree. It was a gift from Joan's mother. Mom made this atrocious bauble in her craft class from an egg carton and too much glitter.

Etymology: ugly (unpleasant or repulsive, esp. in appearance) + ornament (a thing used to adorn something but usually having no practical purpose)

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Created by: Stevenson0

Pronunciation: gift/kwes/ter

Sentence: We have a box in our closet in the family room where we giftquester all the awful presents our relatives have given us and can be retrived at a moments notice and be placed accordingly some where in sight when they arrive at the front door.

Etymology: GIFTQUESTER - verb - from GIFT (a present) + SEQUESTER (to remove, or withdraw into solitude, or retirement; seclude)

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Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: gift hor rors

Sentence: Every Christmas, Chris and Holly looked forward to her Mother's annual Royal Visit with fear. Not because they were afraid of her, she was actually a kind and generaous person. No, they were afraid to drag out the gifthorrors she had bestowed on them for all the past holidays, to prove they liked and used them. The red rhinestone encrusted toilet brush (which looked so lovely in their purple bathroom). There was also the cross-eyed, smiling deer head to be mounted over the mantle. And the bearskin rug for the foyer...the koala bear skin rug. Add to the list, genuine ivory tusks used as coat racks;life-size gold sarcophagus of King Tut which doubled as a closeable shoe rack and their personal favourites,a five foot tall pair of the Dancing Hippos from Fantasia. Yep, next year Hawaii, not a fun old-fashioned Christmas!

Etymology: Gift (present;something acquired without compensation) & Horrors (something that inspires horror; something horrible) & Wordplay on Gift Horse (a gift (usually of inferior quality) that should be accepted uncritically)

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Created by: Stevenson0

Pronunciation: gift/kwes/ter

Sentence: We have a box in our closet in the family room where we giftquester all the awful presents our relatives have given us and can be retrived at a moments notice and be placed accordingly some where in sight.

Etymology: gift + sequester

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Created by: mrskellyscl

Pronunciation: pre-sen-ten-tious

Sentence: The green and blue speckled ash tray that Sam's mother made was presententiously displayed whenever the old bat came to visit, since neither Eileen, her husband, nor anyone else they knew smoked, except for Sam's mother.

Etymology: present:gift + pretentious: receiving or demanding a distinction of merit, especially when not justified; making an outward show

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