Verboticisms

Created by: TJayzz

Pronunciation: i-store

Sentence: When Dave's Auntie Joan had given him the hideous orange and green vase for Christmas last year he smiled broadly and thanked her very much telling her it was beautiful. However as soon as she had left he wrapped up the eyestore and put it straight into the loft. Auntie Joan is due to visit again this year on christmas day, so the plan is to get in the loft on Christmas eve and put the offending object in pride of place on the mantlepiece in the hope that it fools her into thinking that it has been there all year.

Etymology: Play on Eyesore

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Created by: mrskellyscl

Pronunciation: pre-sen-ten-tious

Sentence: The green and blue speckled ash tray that Sam's mother made was presententiously displayed whenever the old bat came to visit, since neither Eileen, her husband, nor anyone else they knew smoked, except for Sam's mother.

Etymology: present:gift + pretentious: receiving or demanding a distinction of merit, especially when not justified; making an outward show

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Created by: Mustang

Pronunciation: gaw-dee-GIFT-ri-duhks

Sentence: As he did at every Christmas, Elwood began his gaudygiftredux ceremony, dragging out several tacky and worthless gifts he'd received in the past in an effort to see that no feelings were hurt should those givers visit him again this year.

Etymology: Blend of Gaudy (cheaply showy in a tasteless way) Gift, and Redux (brought back; resurgent)

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Created by: emdeejay

Pronunciation: Faye Solder

Sentence: Dear old Aunt Faye. She would be best described as having a heart of gold, being generous to a fault, and possessing a taste for the profoundly kitsch. The cupboards of her relatives were stacked to the brim with gifts ranging from the impossibly garish, to the patently absurd. This year, Jayne and John were taking their turn at hosting the family festive gathering. Some show of appreciation for Faye's presence would have to be shown, so after a short deliberation it was down with the Salvador Dali print, and up with "Big Mouth Billy Bass"! Fortunately the luncheon passed without major incident; the family chipper, overfed, and blissfully subdued. Suddenly, an uncomfortable silence fell over the mirthful murmur as Faye inquired: "John whatever became of that delightful water feature I gave you, or that fabulous paisley shirt?" Faceholder to the rescue! John strolled casually over to Billy Bass and just before pressing the button he remarked "Dear Aunt Faye! My shirt has been worn so often, it's at the tailors for a mend. But Billy you see is the pride of the mantle!" And the family, relieved, joined Billy in a rousing rendition of "Take me to the river"

Etymology: Placeholder: Object or entity employed until an adequate replacement can be found. Face (to save): action employed for the purpose of maintaining dignity.

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Created by: karenanne

Pronunciation: whyt EL eh fan TAZ ma GOR ee ah

Sentence: Over the holidays, my house becomes a whitelephantasmagoria of sorts, as I rotate in and out the succession of useless and hideous items given to me over the years by various relatives. I have to keep a calendar of who is coming when, so that the correct one is on display on the correct day. God forbid I put out the horrid quilt made for my grandchildren by their grandmother, my EX-mother-in-law, when my CURRENT mother-in-law visits. She has an uncanny sense for such things.

Etymology: white elephant + phantasmagoria (a constantly shifting complex succession of things seen or imagined; a series or group of strange or bizarre images seen as if in a dream)

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COMMENTS:

Whitelephantasmagoria are kept in a special trunk...good word - Nosila, 2009-12-16: 22:15:00

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Created by: Stevenson0

Pronunciation: gift/kwes/ter

Sentence: We have a box in our closet in the family room where we giftquester all the awful presents our friends and relatives have given us. These horrid items can be retrived at a moments notice and be placed accordingly, some where in sight, whenever they arrive for a visit.

Etymology: gift + sequester (to remove, or withdraw into solitude, or retirement; seclude)

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COMMENTS:

The jury is in..good word - Nosila, 2009-12-16: 22:13:00

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Created by: Maxine

Pronunciation: 'byu ti fayk

Sentence: "Uncle Simone is coming over, Samantha. Time to beautifake yourself."..."No way, Dad. That plaid sweater is such an ugly beautifakation."

Etymology: beautify + fake

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Created by: Nuwanda

Pronunciation: crap-pree-she-ate

Sentence: After hearing that his Aunt Marsha was coming to the baby shower, Kyle ran to the basement, dug out the" painting of the shore birds that Marsha had "commissioned" her best friend to do for their house and put it in a prominent spot where everyone could crappreciate it.

Etymology: Crap + Appreciate

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Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: gift hors

Sentence: It had become a tradition at Christmas as much as decorating the tree and putting up lights. It meant Mother was coming to stay for the holidays and although we loved her dearly and looked forward to seeing her, we had to dig out that painting she had given us many years ago and hang it over the fireplace. It stayed the rest of the yhear in the attic. That's because it was painted on black velvet, with glow-in-the-dark paints, framed inside a gaudy rococco gilt frame. Yes, being his #1 fan, Mother had bought us a portrait of Elvis. Wearing a white jumpsuit, sneering into the microphone in his hand and tilting his pelvis our way! You could push a button at the bottom of the frame and tinny music of him singing would belt out. Our friends who visited over the years hooted and hollered at the tacky image. Neighbours would make the pilgrimmage each year to see The King. He was a gifthoarse that made people laugh and sing along. We always said we would pull him out for Mother's visit, so as not to hurt her feelings, but one of these years old age would overtake her and we would no longer be obligated to carry on the charade. It was then that we realized that the song he sang from the portrait, "I'll have a Blue Christmas without you" would become very poignant to us.

Etymology: gift (a present, something given) & hoarse (deep and harsh sounding as if from shouting or illness or emotion) & old saying: "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" old proverb which means don't question how you acquired something or what it cost. The advice given is be grateful for your good fortune and don't look for more by examining it to assess its value.

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COMMENTS:

Awwww. How moving. Nice work, Lady. - metrohumanx, 2008-12-16: 02:40:00

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Created by: kabloozie

Pronunciation: goo gahd ah full

Sentence: Damn it...where did I put that gewgawdawful your mother gave us - she's coming over in 15 minutes, and if I don't have that ceramic poodle out on the mantle, she'll know we hate it...

Etymology: gewgaw - a gimcrack or worthless bauble + god-awful

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COMMENTS:

Clever and interesting! - OZZIEBOB, 2007-12-12: 20:07:00

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