Verboticism: Alphabedining

'Why are you licking your pizza?'

DEFINITION: v. tr. To eat in a peculiar or ritualistic manner in an effort to lose weight while consuming more. n. An idiosyncratic method of eating, usually adopted for "health reasons".

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Safepecks

Created by: purpleartichokes

Pronunciation: safe-pex

Sentence: After failing on both the Fatkins Diet and SlimFat, Louise tried practicing Safepecks, slowly nibbling on small bits of food. Unfortunately, for her, it only meant that it took her two hours to finish off the entire pizza.

Etymology: safe sex, peck

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COMMENTS:

It's important to use condiments. - Clayton, 2007-06-20: 05:56:00

especially if you're a dominoatrix - galwaywegian, 2007-06-20: 06:41:00

You guys are hot and cheesy today! - purpleartichokes, 2007-06-20: 06:49:00

Saucy, even. - Clayton, 2007-06-20: 07:08:00

petaj Pizza with condiments - sounds like sheaths on toast. The Welsh like a rarebit, and salesmen like to celibate. - petaj, 2007-06-20: 08:24:00

Louise was a Pizza Slut. - purpleartichokes, 2007-06-20: 08:54:00

A crusty, hand-tossed Pizza Slut. - Clayton, 2007-06-20: 17:23:00

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Snibble

Created by: Pythias

Pronunciation:

Sentence: His gaze was locked in utter horror as she could only snibble and nitpick her way around the pie.

Etymology: selectively nibble

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COMMENTS:

To snibble kibble can cause a quibble. (sorry!) - purpleartichokes, 2007-06-20: 09:18:00

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Insuffergest

Created by: weyrlady

Pronunciation: in-suffer-gest

Sentence: I hate having to insuffergest.

Etymology: insufficient + insufferable + suffer +ingest

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Lickosuction

Created by: galwaywegian

Pronunciation: lik o suk shun

Sentence: Her Catholic upbringing had programmed her to believe that acts were only sinful when you took pleasure in them, so she applied the same logic to eating, figuring that you wouldn't get fat if you didn't enjoy the food. Her lickosuction technique unfortunately had the opposite effect, as it didn't involve chewing, which was the only calorie burning part of the process.

Etymology: liposuction, lick, suction

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COMMENTS:

Obviously, she was a Cathaholick. - purpleartichokes, 2007-06-20: 09:11:00

it made eating salad difficult because she was a romaine catholick - Jabberwocky, 2007-06-20: 09:31:00

Life would have been easier if she were Chewish. - purpleartichokes, 2007-06-20: 09:40:00

foodha would say that the existance of her cheeseburger would be moo. - jadenguy, 2007-06-20: 10:07:00

and Gibran would say 'Beauty is eternity grazing at itself in a mirror' - Jabberwocky, 2007-06-20: 11:05:00

petaj And the love of honey is the pursuit of all weevils. - petaj, 2007-06-20: 23:08:00

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Grazecraze

Created by: Jabberwocky

Pronunciation: grayze/crayze

Sentence: The latest diet endorsed by leading experts was the grazecraze which involved eating small amounts of food all day whenever one felt the urge - usually by nibbling bits of everyone elses snacks. The guy in the comic has been on the diet for a month and is pissed off that the girl is licking his next snack.

Etymology: graze (forage) + craze

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COMMENTS:

Grazey, man, grazey. - Clayton, 2007-06-20: 07:12:00

I've been ruminating on this. Bet I cud lose weight this way. Anybody got a Moo Pie? - purpleartichokes, 2007-06-20: 08:43:00

you guys aren't going to milk this are you? - rikboyee, 2007-06-20: 09:00:00

Not me - I lactose kind of comments. - purpleartichokes, 2007-06-20: 09:09:00

you udder yet another pun! - jadenguy, 2007-06-20: 09:17:00

I'm gonna bovine another thing to do on the internet. i swear. - jadenguy, 2007-06-20: 09:18:00

Fine! Beef that way! - purpleartichokes, 2007-06-20: 09:20:00

goodness grazeious - great bulls of fire - Jabberwocky, 2007-06-20: 09:24:00

Bullocks! Another freakin' song! - purpleartichokes, 2007-06-20: 09:38:00

cattle be stuck in your head for the rest of the day! - jadenguy, 2007-06-20: 09:50:00

Yep, til the cows come home. - purpleartichokes, 2007-06-20: 10:15:00

I got temporarily logged off - cow'd that happen? - Jabberwocky, 2007-06-20: 10:41:00

Dangus thing I ever herd of! - purpleartichokes, 2007-06-20: 10:56:00

Maybe it just happens heifery so often? - purpleartichokes, 2007-06-20: 11:03:00

you guys are just so clheifer. I calf never laughed so herd - Jabberwocky, 2007-06-20: 11:32:00

I like this brand of humor, it eases my moosery. - Alchemist, 2007-06-20: 14:44:00

well moosery does love cowpany - Jabberwocky, 2007-06-20: 15:25:00

Hey! All this cow talk just reminded me that I need to send for the tickets to the annual Cow Flop. Thanks! - purpleartichokes, 2007-06-20: 15:53:00

I calfn't had so much pun in ages - Jabberwocky, 2007-06-20: 16:40:00

I believe the word is "Cowabunga!" - purpleartichokes, 2007-06-20: 17:12:00

can you stop punning??....i bet your not cowpabull...go on...i dairy you - rikboyee, 2007-06-20: 18:12:00

Never! I won't cow-tow to the likes of you! (I mean that in a nice way.) - purpleartichokes, 2007-06-20: 18:26:00

petaj I bet 5 bucks that we cowd goat on forheifer. But maybe it's time to steer the topic away. Can you ranch yourself away from cattle? No more sheep laughs at the cow's expense. - petaj, 2007-06-20: 23:19:00

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Ritualemia

Created by: texmom

Pronunciation: writ tyou ul e mia

Sentence: When in full ritualemia, she ate only the pimentos from the olives.

Etymology: ritual - rite emia - disorder

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Healteat

Created by: cococo

Pronunciation: heal - teet

Sentence: I'm healteating very often because I want to lose weight.

Etymology: health + eat

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Abnibble

sanssouci

Created by: sanssouci

Pronunciation: Ab Nib Ball

Sentence: It is really difficult to live with Kate, especially her abnibble attitude to food and diet, she scrutinises every single thing I attempt to eat.

Etymology: Abnormal + Nibble = Abnibble Abnormal, not the usual, extremely or excessively large. Nibble, to take a small bite, to eat or chew small amounts.

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Eatiosyndiet

Created by: diplogreeable

Pronunciation: eet-ee-o-sin-dy-et

Sentence: Kelly was clearly experiencing a case of eatiosyndiet as she ritualistically averted the cheese in her omelette in order to eat a low fat meal.

Etymology: Eat + idiosyncrasy + diet

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Oddballimia

karenanne

Created by: karenanne

Pronunciation: od bal EE mee ah

Sentence: Candy can't understand why she can't lose weight. She scrupulously avoids starches after 5:00 pm ("it turns right to fat"). She always carefully counts her daily calories. She eats lots of celery ("it takes more calories to digest it than it has in it, so that's negative calories"). She also eats a lot of spicy foods too ("that revs your metabolism and burns more calories"). Of course, drinks don't really count because they are mostly water; the same goes for soup. And everyone knows that the bites you take while you're cooking, to "taste test" the food, don't count. She does eat whatever is left on her kids' plates, but those calories don't count either because she eats standing up.

Etymology: oddball + bulimia

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