Verboticism: Synthience

'I know it's loaded with calories...'

DEFINITION: n. Any highly-processed food or beverage in which the natural ingredients have been removed and replaced with artificial flavors and additives. v. To consume food products laced with synthetic sweeteners, imitation flavors, and other carcinogens.

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Synthience

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Fastfraud

Created by: splendiction

Pronunciation: junkfeed

Sentence: Jim began junkfeeding as a child. As a young adult he consumed his favourite, seriously overprocessed, junkfeed in quantities disproportionate to his energy needs so that he became unhealthy. His doctors warned him to avoid the common, easy to reach, junkfeed and return to a simpler diet rich in real food. Jim learned what real food is but unfortunately couldn't find real foods around him...

Etymology: junkfeed v and n. from junk or useless stuff/what has no purpose and the verb feed, for an organism's tendency to eat for necessity and not the enjoyment of food

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Grossceries

Created by: Stevenson0

Pronunciation: gross/cer/ees

Sentence: When John goes shopping for food, he fills his cart with grossceries with zero to no nutritional value such as sham spam, potato hydrogenated artery filler, cancerspartan sweetened pop, hot (cow eyes, teeth and skin) dogs, mock chicken (wrack of rat) and Wonder enriched bread (less than 50% wood chips and white drywall dust).

Etymology: GROSSCERIES - noun - from GROSS + GROCERIES

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COMMENTS:

So apt! - silveryaspen, 2009-01-29: 08:26:00

like it. - galwaywegian, 2009-01-29: 08:53:00

Now I no longer Wonder why they called it Wonder Bread! - Nosila, 2009-01-29: 19:46:00

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Piquantoxifodder

metrohumanx

Created by: metrohumanx

Pronunciation: PICK-one-TOCKS-ih-fodder

Sentence: Chuck planted his corpulent posterior in the orange naugahide chair and settled down to his first day at the new job. Thankful to be employed, he relished his new assignment at Universal Test Kitchens...sampling and rating new food products before they were foisted upon the unsuspecting public.Being a true foodlum, he had quaffed, chomped, swigged and munched through an array of buyprodux, each containing an ersatz nutritute carefully engineered from corn syrup and cheap tropical fat. Some dishes were trendylicious and pungent, others had all the appeal of a used bovine salt lick. It wasn't until the late afternoon when Chuck found his favorite concoction. It was real PIQUANTOXIFODDER - stripped of any wasteful vitamins, yet replete with satisfying textures that reminded him of that strangest of foods- tapioca. After secretly cramming down his third helping, Chuck succumbed to a case of megacramps that a gallon of peptodismall wouldn't cure. On the way home, he had to pull over discreetly near an irrigation ditch and make a contribution.Plop Plop Fizz Fizz. Sweating like a cut of rancid pork, Chuck knew that the product he ingested was sure to be a great seller. It was....ambrosia!

Etymology: PIQUANt+TOXIc+FODDER=PIQUANTOXIFODDER.....PIQUANT:agreeably stimulating to the palate,engagingly provocative taste;Middle French, from present participle of piquer.....TOXIC:containing or being poisonous material especially when capable of causing death or serious debilitation,extremely harsh, malicious, or harmful;Late Latin toxicus, from Latin toxicum poison, from Greek toxikon arrow poison, from neuter of toxikos of a bow, from toxon bow, arrow.....FODDER:something fed to domestic animals ; especially : coarse food for cattle, horses, or sheep,-inferior or readily available material used to supply a heavy demand;Middle English, from Old English fōdor; akin to Old High German fuotar food.....AMBROSIA:the food of the Greek and Roman gods;Latin, from Greek, literally, immortality, from ambrotos immortal.(bonus word)

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COMMENTS:

metrohumanx Amusing OLD advertisements: http://www.lileks.com/oldads/index.html - metrohumanx, 2009-01-29: 01:56:00

metrohumanx This space intentionally left blank. - metrohumanx, 2009-01-29: 21:27:00

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Hollowgramcrackers

Created by: Jabberwocky

Pronunciation: haul/oh/gram/crak/urs

Sentence: Whenever Sally got the urge to binge she would reach for the hollowgramcrackers which promised great taste and if you turned in just the right direction any extra weight would magically disappear.

Etymology: hollow + hologram + graham crackers

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COMMENTS:

GlobalGallery Classic! LOL - GlobalGallery, 2009-01-29: 06:52:00

Distortion in 3D....doesn't get any easier than that! - Mustang, 2009-01-29: 07:45:00

great choices for your etymology - silveryaspen, 2009-01-29: 08:27:00

And then there are the hallowedgramcrackers which you can eat and receive forgiveness for eating... - readerwriter, 2009-01-29: 11:27:00

holy **** reader - never thought of that - enlightening - Jabberwocky, 2009-01-29: 11:52:00

And if you tried to stop eating them, you'd have to hallowed wean them! - Nosila, 2009-01-29: 19:45:00

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Artifoodage

Created by: ahmadmalik2007

Pronunciation: aa-rti-fod-aij

Sentence: In modern world, people prefer artifoodage becuase its quick and delicious, however, it cannot be the replacement for natural food.

Etymology: artifoodage is a short form extracted from three words: arti from artificial, food from food and age from beverage.

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Pepsicodology

Created by: scrabbelicious

Pronunciation: pép:see:cód:ol:oh:gee

Sentence: Séamus and his sweet tooth went everywhere together. Always pestering him for a treat, Séamus had a cunning plan that he, his sweet tooth and his liquid diet could be made live in harmony with a bit of pepsicodology.

Etymology: Pepsi : Sweet drink suitable for athletes who run at least one marathon per day, every day. Codology : an Irish colloquialism indicating the wool is being pulled somewhere reasonably close by.

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Unhefdite

Created by: Xanman12321

Pronunciation: Uhn-heff-dait

Sentence: Wow, those potato chips were unhefdites, you know? Oops, I unhefdited! Uh oh...

Etymology: Unhealthy diet -> Unhefdite

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Caldrieath

Created by: leeannhamers

Pronunciation: Ka-Al-dree-eth

Sentence: My mom told me not to have soda its one of those Caldrieath foods.

Etymology: Calories, Drinks, Death

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Pseudofoodo

artr

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: soōdōfoōdō

Sentence: Charlie is a vegetarian at heart. The thought of killing some poor defenseless creature saddens him deeply. When he read about a study that claimed that plants emit a sound much like a scream when picked, he was left in a quandary. What could he eat? His solution? Pseudofoodo! The "O" foods! Munchos, Bunchos, Crunchos, Chunkos, Dunkos. The more processed - the farther away from anything living - the better he likes it. If only those bio-degradable packing peanuts had a little cheese or onion flavoring. If only he had the energy to go to the gymo to work off some of his flabo.

Etymology: pseudo (not genuine; sham) + food (any nutritious substance that people or animals eat or drink) + "O" for the O foods.

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COMMENTS:

Oh! Oh! So good! - silveryaspen, 2009-01-29: 08:35:00

too true - Jabberwocky, 2009-01-29: 09:42:00

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Mystreats

Created by: readerwriter

Pronunciation: mis-treet-z

Sentence: Esau, who always chose the quick and easy way to get his food, grew fat in the land on his convenient die-et of mystreats.When he suddently departed this life from cardiac arest, his secondary cause of death was listed as "mystreatment." Full stop.

Etymology: From MYSTERY, things unexplainable + TREATS, small pleasures; also playing on MISTREAT, to misuse, abuse

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