Verboticism: Stretcharmstwrong

'Help! Get this thing off of me! '

DEFINITION: v. To return to the gym in order to get back in shape, only to over-do-it and injure yourself. n. An injury which is the result of an overly ambitious exercise program.

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Inexertia

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: in ex zer sha

Sentence: Randy decided that five years away from his fitness club was too long. Inspired by infomercials and a waistline that kept thickening, he decided to re-enroll and get back the hard body he once proudly showed off at the beach. He carefully parked his car as close as possible to the gym - no sense risking a fall on icy pavement before he even started. When he arrived, a cute redhead was working out on an exercise bike. Without stretching or warming up, he mounted the bike beside her and peddled like the wind. After 10 minutes, he threw his leg up to dismount and pulled his groin muscle so hard that 3 attendants had to pull him off the machine and lay him on the floor, where he waited in agony until the ambulance arrived. What did this inexertia end up costing him altogether? $100 gym fee; $500 ambulance ride;$2,500 hospital fees;$500 for pain meds; $200 for having his car towed; $500 to reclaim it later at the impound yard; new shorts $50 (the old ones had to be cut off);and a date with the cute redhead who had visions of her potential suitor being unable to give her children: Priceless!

Etymology: inertia (the tendency of a body to maintain a state of rest or uniform motion unless acted upon by an external force;a disposition to remain inactive or inert) & exertion (use of physical or mental energy; hard work)

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COMMENTS:

Makes me hurt all over just reading it. lol GOOD word!! - Mustang, 2008-05-06: 04:48:00

Oh, that's just perfect. - ErWenn, 2008-05-06: 11:24:00

Muscles come and go; flab lasts. - OZZIEBOB, 2008-05-06: 17:46:00

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Intendonitis

Created by: arrrteest

Pronunciation: in-ten-dun-eye-tis

Sentence: Bill was right back where he started: on the couch next to a half-eaten box of meat-lover's pizza. But this time, he was unable to lift his arm to point the remote on account of his intendonitis. You see, earlier in the day he saw an infomercial about how to lose all that flab and he decided he was motivated enough to waltz into the gym and start off where he left the last time in college 15 years and 70lbs ago. He thought he begin with benching 240, the weight he used to do, but could only muster 3 reps of 80lbs. He didn't even need to use a pin to set the weights on the equipment circuit and didn't last 5 minutes on the treadmill.

Etymology: intend, to have in mind + tendonitis, inflamation of the tendons, often because of overuse

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COMMENTS:

xcellent - galwaywegian, 2008-05-06: 07:47:00

He might finish up with Adonitis! - OZZIEBOB, 2008-05-06: 17:47:00

Good one, as they say, the path to Hell is paved with good Intendonitis... - Nosila, 2008-05-06: 19:58:00

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Fitfall

artr

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: fit-fawl

Sentence: Jim had not been in the gym for some time. His major fitfall was being friends with a "gym rat" who pushed him to pursue the same routine that he follows. Jim now has more pulled muscles than the number of muscles he knew he had.

Etymology: fitness (The state or condition of being physically sound and healthy, especially as the result of exercise and proper nutrition) + pitfall (any trap or danger for the unwary)

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Fitnesschlock

Created by: Mustang

Pronunciation: fit-ness-shlok

Sentence: Melvin once again found that he is a fitnesschlock, in such lousy physical condition that even moderate exercise caused not only excruciating pain, but left him lying on the couch for days recuperating.

Etymology: Blend of 'fitness' (physical condition) and 'schlock' (of low quality or value)

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Ouchpotato

Created by: galwaywegian

Pronunciation: ow ch pat ay toe

Sentence: with his leg in a cast and his head in a sling, the ouchpotato weht back to being a couchpotato

Etymology: couchpotato, ouch

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Bicepticemia

Created by: Jabberwocky

Pronunciation: by/sep/ti/see/me/a

Sentence: I thought it was only a muscle tear but it turned into the dreaded bicepticemia which ended my fifteen minutes of gym fame.

Etymology: bicep + septicemia

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COMMENTS:

petaj nice one. ABSolutely, good word. - petaj, 2008-05-06: 06:36:00

imPECcable! - galwaywegian, 2008-05-06: 07:48:00

I think I'll muscle in on this one! - OZZIEBOB, 2008-05-06: 17:38:00

J - what sinew with you? good word - Nosila, 2008-05-07: 01:54:00

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Callistrainics

artr

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: kaləstrāniks

Sentence: After years of general neglect, Jim decided to get back to the gym. Of course, as with most things, he overdid it. His callistrainics left him on his back on the sofa just like before he began.

Etymology: callisthenics (gymnastic exercises to achieve bodily fitness and grace of movement) + strain (a force tending to pull or stretch something to an extreme or damaging degree)

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Workouch

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: work owch

Sentence: Bradley's quest to get trim again turned into a workouch. He dropped a weight on his toe, pulled a groin muscle doing lunges and banged his head on the bench press, after he accidentally lost his grip. His workouch will take him to the workcouch for a week of tv to recover.

Etymology: Workout (exercise regime;the activity of exerting your muscles in various ways to keep fit) & Ouch (interjection used to express sudden pain)

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Exerdemise

Created by: alicat

Pronunciation: Ex-er-dem-eyes

Sentence: Sue hadn't been to the gym in years but decided that it was time to jump back on that horse. She went to a spinning class, gave it her all, and left feeling like a new woman. When she woke up the next morning, however, she realized that she had reached her exerdemise.

Etymology: Exercise + demise

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COMMENTS:

good one - Nosila, 2009-06-18: 20:54:00

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Realityache

Created by: pieceof314

Pronunciation: ree-al-ittee-ayk

Sentence: Realityache. Newsome knew it all too well. Who was he kidding? What did he think was going to happen when he finally decided to get off his butt and start working out? Moderation? Nah. With full tilt workouts from the start and after a life of increasing sedentary circumstances, Newsome knew what realityache meant with each excrutiating movement of muscle in his body.

Etymology: reality + ache

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