Verboticisms

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: in ex zer sha

Sentence: Randy decided that five years away from his fitness club was too long. Inspired by infomercials and a waistline that kept thickening, he decided to re-enroll and get back the hard body he once proudly showed off at the beach. He carefully parked his car as close as possible to the gym - no sense risking a fall on icy pavement before he even started. When he arrived, a cute redhead was working out on an exercise bike. Without stretching or warming up, he mounted the bike beside her and peddled like the wind. After 10 minutes, he threw his leg up to dismount and pulled his groin muscle so hard that 3 attendants had to pull him off the machine and lay him on the floor, where he waited in agony until the ambulance arrived. What did this inexertia end up costing him altogether? $100 gym fee; $500 ambulance ride;$2,500 hospital fees;$500 for pain meds; $200 for having his car towed; $500 to reclaim it later at the impound yard; new shorts $50 (the old ones had to be cut off);and a date with the cute redhead who had visions of her potential suitor being unable to give her children: Priceless!

Etymology: inertia (the tendency of a body to maintain a state of rest or uniform motion unless acted upon by an external force;a disposition to remain inactive or inert) & exertion (use of physical or mental energy; hard work)

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COMMENTS:

Makes me hurt all over just reading it. lol GOOD word!! - Mustang, 2008-05-06: 04:48:00

Oh, that's just perfect. - ErWenn, 2008-05-06: 11:24:00

Muscles come and go; flab lasts. - OZZIEBOB, 2008-05-06: 17:46:00

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Created by: stache

Pronunciation: jĭm-mām'ē-əm

Sentence: He figued it was just a HALF-marathon, surely it would be no big deal. After all, before he'd laid off running-what was it, three and a nalf years now?-he'd had quite a few fun runs and even that one ten-K under his belt. Predictably, however, the event resulted in extensive gymaimium, from severe shin splints to bleeding, chafed nipples.

Etymology: Gym, var. of Jim, after workout guru Jum Belushi; maimi, var. of Mamie, after famous Jack LaLane mistress, Mamie Eisenhower; um, speech filler related to 'uh.'

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COMMENTS:

Galway's workouch goes well with your gymaimium. - Jabberwocky, 2008-05-06: 12:32:00

good word. - OZZIEBOB, 2008-05-06: 17:44:00

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Created by: tyler775

Pronunciation: /fin * bah/

Sentence: I received a venba when I got tired and dropped the weight on my neck.

Etymology: *ven from French prefix for come *ba from English word 'back'

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Created by: Stevenson0

Pronunciation: ek/ses/ser/size

Sentence: In spring to rid of the winter lard, people tend to excessercise themselves into sore muscles, joints and injuries.

Etymology: excess + exercise

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COMMENTS:

Great word! Perfect fit(ness) - pieceof314, 2008-05-06: 09:31:00

Very good. - OZZIEBOB, 2008-05-06: 17:41:00

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Created by: pieceof314

Pronunciation: ree-al-ittee-ayk

Sentence: Realityache. Newsome knew it all too well. Who was he kidding? What did he think was going to happen when he finally decided to get off his butt and start working out? Moderation? Nah. With full tilt workouts from the start and after a life of increasing sedentary circumstances, Newsome knew what realityache meant with each excrutiating movement of muscle in his body.

Etymology: reality + ache

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Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: wayt for sur juree

Sentence: Smedley was determined to turn himself from a bookish, skinny nerd into a bronzed, buff love god. Unfortunately, he did not prepare himself properly...his bid to get laser surgery to correct his myopia failed and he needed even stronger glasses. His day at the tanning salon was also a disaster since he looked like a buttered lobster when done. And his weight training at the gym made him tear tendons, ligaments and caused him to become a weightforsurgery case. With any luck he'd be back to his old nerdy self in 6-9 months. He should have left well enough alone!

Etymology: weight (sports equipment used in calisthenic exercises and weightlifting; a weight that is not attached to anything and is raised and lowered by use of the hands and arms) & For Surgery (a medical procedure involving an incision with instruments; performed to repair damage or arrest disease in a living body) Rhymes with Wait for Surgery...all too common and lengthy a wait these days, sadly)

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Created by: galwaywegian

Pronunciation: were couch

Sentence: The annual january workouch proved as painful as always, the treadmill became a headmill, the bench press got a stranglehold which didn't release it's grip until he had peed on the pilates ball. The visit was followed by the annual visit to the chiropracter.

Etymology: workout, ouch

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COMMENTS:

Ouch indeed! - TJayzz, 2008-05-06: 20:56:00

Good one...do you think chiropractors own shares in gyms? mmmm - Nosila, 2008-05-06: 20:06:00

Excellent word! Simple yet versatile. - Tigger, 2008-05-07: 21:57:00

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Created by: petaj

Pronunciation: train-crash

Sentence: Connor's traincrash was the worst I'd ever seen at the gym. After two full days of repetitions on the machines, he was so exhausted that he fell asleep against the weights rack, which caused the weights to roll along the floor taking out half the yoga class, the rest of whom ran screaming towards the treadmills causing one of the joggers to lose his footing and suddenly shoot backward wherein he splashed into the pool causing a huge puddle to flood the floor beneath the weight rack giving Connor a terrible electric shock resulting in burns to 75% of his body and a nasty tremor that he'll have for the rest of his life.

Etymology: train (undertake a fitness program) + crash (incident that often causes injury) + train crash (something that is awful to witness)

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COMMENTS:

I've had a couple of those. Guess you could say I'm a 'trainwreck'. Great word. - Mustang, 2008-05-06: 04:49:00

too much loco motion, I suppose - galwaywegian, 2008-05-06: 07:49:00

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Created by: OZZIEBOB

Pronunciation: PATH-let-uh-siz-uhm

Sentence: Bob, whose only regular exercise previously was a walk to and from the car, seem certain to be heading for a fitprang, if he didn't immediately cease his obsessive, new found pathleticism.

Etymology: Blend of PATHETIC: (colloquially) pitiful, hopelessly inept or inappropriate; so stupid as to be ridiculous; PATH: element in many medical words meaning illness, injury disease of the body etc., & ATHLETICISM: characterized by, or involving physical activity or exercise & ISM: fad, esp of extravagant nature.

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COMMENTS:

nice one and fitprang made me LOL - petaj, 2008-05-06: 06:37:00

Nice one OB! - didsbury, 2008-05-06: 16:27:00

Fantastic entry! - Tigger, 2008-05-07: 22:02:00

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Created by: alicat

Pronunciation: Ex-er-dem-eyes

Sentence: Sue hadn't been to the gym in years but decided that it was time to jump back on that horse. She went to a spinning class, gave it her all, and left feeling like a new woman. When she woke up the next morning, however, she realized that she had reached her exerdemise.

Etymology: Exercise + demise

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COMMENTS:

good one - Nosila, 2009-06-18: 20:54:00

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