Verboticism: Tissueissue

'Oh-oh, I'm surrounded '

DEFINITION: n. A pile of used and discarded tissues; may constitute a bio-hazard. v. To drop a used tissue on to the floor beside your bed or chair, because you are so sick you can barely move.

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Tissueissue

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Kleenexsport

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: kleen ex sport

Sentence: Lying in his sickbed, watching the Olympic Sports Channel all day, Ernie knew that he could win a gold medal for his country in the pathogen pentathlon: his nose runs, his eyes soar, his lip curls, his fever pitches and his body heats. He could do a slalom down the mountain of kleenexsport by the side of his bed. He would have to do a viral spiral to get to the bathroom before he had to luge again. Yes, his biohazard biathalon would end if he could only get some schuss time. His ailing body was truly an international competition: He put the "Germ" in Germany; the "chill" in Chile;the "I Ran" in Iran; the "Catarrh" in Qatar;and he had been feeling "Laos-y" all day!

Etymology: kleenex (a piece of soft absorbent paper usually two or more thin layers used as a disposable handkerchief) & export ( to transfer goods or to cause to spread) & sport (an active diversion requiring physical exertion and competition)

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COMMENTS:

petaj His Doctor gave him vitamin C and said get it India. He also put the malaise in Malaysia and the 'ails' in Wales. - petaj, 2008-03-10: 10:03:00

great sentence - Jabberwocky, 2008-03-10: 13:27:00

Great read and word! Excellent! - silveryaspen, 2008-03-10: 23:03:00

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Tisspew

Created by: zabxuq

Pronunciation: tiss-sp_u

Sentence: The flu was simply too much. Fixing his own lunch was out of the question. With barely enough energy to tisspew, Gil could do nothing but wait for chicken soup reinforcements to arrive under their own power.

Etymology: Tisspew: v. combination of tissue: a thin gauzy paper + spew: eject or cast away.

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COMMENTS:

Souper! - Nosila, 2009-01-02: 18:06:00

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Phlegmbuoyance

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: flem boy ants

Sentence: When Dougie was home sick, the zillions of tissues that he had sneezed, coughed and blown into were piled so high, his bed appeared to float on a sea of them.The fact that his jammies and bedding matched them, just demostrated to his servile mother his phlegmbuoyance.

Etymology: Phlegm (expectorated matter, saliva and other fluids secreted from facial openings) & Buoyance(ability to keep something afloat) & Flamboyance(extravagant elaborateness)

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Contagreggation

petaj

Created by: petaj

Pronunciation: con-tag-re-gay-shun

Sentence: Oh no, snot another one. The contagreggation was now so large, that the nurse donned a biohazard outfit to take his temperature.

Etymology: contagion + aggregation

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COMMENTS:

That clever first line will live forever in the memory. - silveryaspen, 2009-01-02: 07:50:00

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Phlegoon

artr

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: flegoōn

Sentence: Friends wanted to help Jason but were held back by the phlegoon of tissues that had developed on the floor around his sickbed. Jason’s best bud thinks sea of discarded tissues is a bit crazy. He calls it one flu over the cuckoo mess.

Etymology: phlegm (the thick viscous substance secreted by the mucous membranes)+ lagoon (a stretch of salt water separated from the sea by a low sandbank or coral reef)

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Cleanix

Created by: Nuwanda

Pronunciation: Clee-nix

Sentence: Because she was usually fairly fastidious, Carla took measure of the cleanix surrounding her as a barometer of how sick she was. When she could no longer step off the couch without touching down on one of the slime nuggets, it was time to call the doctor.

Etymology: Kleenex, the popular tissue, altered to combine clean and nix, as in to put the kibosh on something.

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COMMENTS:

Nice etymology! - silveryaspen, 2009-01-07: 15:05:00

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Phlegmbuoyancy

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: flem boy ansee

Sentence: Even when deathly ill, Marcus exuded a certain phlegmbuoyancy. Although he felt he was on death's doorknob, he wore his silk pyjamas and monogrammed silk robe, along with his designer slippers. He used not paper hankies or toilet paper to remove his mucus, but a supply of monogrammed silk handkerchiefs, which his butler gathered up to send to the CDC in Atlanta. Marcus reclined on his chaiselongue, under a mink throw and suffered through this ague. With a full table of aspirin, cough syrups and decongestants, everything that modern medicine could afford was laid out at his bedside. His butler brought him hot toddies in gold or silver goblets and had steamy moisture piped into his sick room. He winced when his doctor had told him he had the Common Cold...how could that happen to one of such superior breeding? Beside his bed lay one of the classic books he currently read, called Great Expectorations, printed in its original Phlegmish language!

Etymology: Phlegm (nasal mucus) & Buoyancy (cheerfulness that bubbles to the surface;irrepressible liveliness and good spirit;the property of something weightless and insubstantial) Flamboyancy (richly and brilliantly colorful;elaborately or excessively ornamented)

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COMMENTS:

Eleveating the common cold to the royal pain it truly is! The grandiose elevated to the grandinose! - silveryaspen, 2009-01-02: 07:43:00

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Tissidue

Created by: OZZIEBOB

Pronunciation: TISH-i-dyoo

Sentence: You imprison me in the dark recesses of your bags and pockets until I'm ready to be used for your most basic needs. You wipe your filthy hands on me; you spit on me. You drown me in your fetid waste. You despise me, calling me a threat to your environment. You throw me away. But remember it was you who you made me what I am - tissidue - for there was a time when I was a tree.

Etymology: Blend of TISSUE & RESIDUE

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COMMENTS:

Tree mend us. - purpleartichokes, 2008-03-10: 10:46:00

how sad - Jabberwocky, 2008-03-10: 16:58:00

Your sentence reminds me of "The Giving Tree" — albeit a more bitter version... - Tigger, 2008-03-10: 23:24:00

Poignant, yet elementree...where's my tissue? - Nosila, 2008-03-11: 22:36:00

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Amalgamucus

Created by: stache

Pronunciation: ə-māl'gə myōō'kəs

Sentence: Barney was 15 and a profuse masturbator, but he had been off his oats with a bad cold for several days, and the unholy assemblage beside his bed was part sploogepile and part amalgamucus.

Etymology: amalgam, a mixture or combination; mucus, a viscous, slimy mixture, chiefly mucin, water, cells, and inorganic salts, secreted by glands lining the nasal and other body cavities; main binder in boogers.

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COMMENTS:

Good word. Only one thing to say after that sentence though — Ick! :[ - Tigger, 2008-03-10: 23:18:00

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Boogerton

Created by: Biscotti

Pronunciation: buh-gur-tun

Sentence: When he was sick with the flu, John's room turned into a small boogerton. He had gotten so sick he could barely move; and even when he was better, he still couldn't move from all the dirty tissues on the floor.

Etymology: booger + ton (to make it seem like a small village or town)

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