Verboticism: Hideopresent

'Why are you putting that by the front door?'

DEFINITION: n., An ugly decorative item or article of clothing received from friends or relatives, which is kept stored away but ready to be pulled out at a moment's notice in anticipation of a return visit. v., To temporarily place an old, and perhaps unattractive gift in a place of honor.

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Hideopresent

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Unbelievabauble

libertybelle

Created by: libertybelle

Pronunciation: un-bee-leave-uh-baw-bull

Sentence: Martin could see Cheryl's car coming down his street. He immediately lept into action. Ordinarily, he would have been prepared and had the hand sequined tapestry of Liberace taken out and hung well in advance of her visit, but as this was an unannounced drop-in, he had to scurry to unpack the unbelievabauble from the depths of the cellar storage room.

Etymology: unbelievable + bauble ok... this was my submission last time too... but i couldn't think of another.

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Gifthorrors

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: gift hor rors

Sentence: Every Christmas, Chris and Holly looked forward to her Mother's annual Royal Visit with fear. Not because they were afraid of her, she was actually a kind and generaous person. No, they were afraid to drag out the gifthorrors she had bestowed on them for all the past holidays, to prove they liked and used them. The red rhinestone encrusted toilet brush (which looked so lovely in their purple bathroom). There was also the cross-eyed, smiling deer head to be mounted over the mantle. And the bearskin rug for the foyer...the koala bear skin rug. Add to the list, genuine ivory tusks used as coat racks;life-size gold sarcophagus of King Tut which doubled as a closeable shoe rack and their personal favourites,a five foot tall pair of the Dancing Hippos from Fantasia. Yep, next year Hawaii, not a fun old-fashioned Christmas!

Etymology: Gift (present;something acquired without compensation) & Horrors (something that inspires horror; something horrible) & Wordplay on Gift Horse (a gift (usually of inferior quality) that should be accepted uncritically)

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Artdecohno

Created by: galwaywegian

Pronunciation: art dek o no

Sentence: his mother had a huge collection of artdecohno on display, screaming aesthetic abuse from the mantlepiece,

Etymology: art deco, oh no

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Displayaway

Created by: purpleartichokes

Pronunciation: dis-play-ah-way

Sentence: Every year, Mom gives me a displayaway or closet deposit for Christmas, which is why my good clothes and trinkets are now stacked throughout my bedroom.

Etymology: display, away

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COMMENTS:

Quite clever. Good one. - Tigger, 2007-12-16: 16:36:00

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Faceholder

Created by: emdeejay

Pronunciation: Faye Solder

Sentence: Dear old Aunt Faye. She would be best described as having a heart of gold, being generous to a fault, and possessing a taste for the profoundly kitsch. The cupboards of her relatives were stacked to the brim with gifts ranging from the impossibly garish, to the patently absurd. This year, Jayne and John were taking their turn at hosting the family festive gathering. Some show of appreciation for Faye's presence would have to be shown, so after a short deliberation it was down with the Salvador Dali print, and up with "Big Mouth Billy Bass"! Fortunately the luncheon passed without major incident; the family chipper, overfed, and blissfully subdued. Suddenly, an uncomfortable silence fell over the mirthful murmur as Faye inquired: "John whatever became of that delightful water feature I gave you, or that fabulous paisley shirt?" Faceholder to the rescue! John strolled casually over to Billy Bass and just before pressing the button he remarked "Dear Aunt Faye! My shirt has been worn so often, it's at the tailors for a mend. But Billy you see is the pride of the mantle!" And the family, relieved, joined Billy in a rousing rendition of "Take me to the river"

Etymology: Placeholder: Object or entity employed until an adequate replacement can be found. Face (to save): action employed for the purpose of maintaining dignity.

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Unbelievabauble

libertybelle

Created by: libertybelle

Pronunciation: un-bee-leave-a-baw-bul

Sentence: Terry smiled as he opened his grandmother's gift of the clown cactus planter, knowing that this unbelievabauble would only grace his coffee table during her visits.

Etymology: unbelievable + bauble

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Gifthoarse

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: gift hors

Sentence: It had become a tradition at Christmas as much as decorating the tree and putting up lights. It meant Mother was coming to stay for the holidays and although we loved her dearly and looked forward to seeing her, we had to dig out that painting she had given us many years ago and hang it over the fireplace. It stayed the rest of the yhear in the attic. That's because it was painted on black velvet, with glow-in-the-dark paints, framed inside a gaudy rococco gilt frame. Yes, being his #1 fan, Mother had bought us a portrait of Elvis. Wearing a white jumpsuit, sneering into the microphone in his hand and tilting his pelvis our way! You could push a button at the bottom of the frame and tinny music of him singing would belt out. Our friends who visited over the years hooted and hollered at the tacky image. Neighbours would make the pilgrimmage each year to see The King. He was a gifthoarse that made people laugh and sing along. We always said we would pull him out for Mother's visit, so as not to hurt her feelings, but one of these years old age would overtake her and we would no longer be obligated to carry on the charade. It was then that we realized that the song he sang from the portrait, "I'll have a Blue Christmas without you" would become very poignant to us.

Etymology: gift (a present, something given) & hoarse (deep and harsh sounding as if from shouting or illness or emotion) & old saying: "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" old proverb which means don't question how you acquired something or what it cost. The advice given is be grateful for your good fortune and don't look for more by examining it to assess its value.

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COMMENTS:

metrohumanx Awwww. How moving. Nice work, Lady. - metrohumanx, 2008-12-16: 02:40:00

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Cheapophoret

Created by: logarithm

Pronunciation: chē-pō-fo-ret

Sentence:

Etymology: 1) Cheapo: of very poor quality and tastelessly showy. 2) Apophoret: a new year's gift.

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Ornabom

Created by: ghhshirley

Pronunciation: orna-bomb

Sentence: My mother in law gave me another ornabom for Christmas. Hurry, we have to ornabom before you mother arrives!

Etymology: orn- to ornament,an ornament,ornamental.... abom- from abominate

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Relatement

Created by: mrowka

Pronunciation: Re-late-ment

Sentence: Before Aunt Patty came over, I had to find the proper relatement for her decoupage crockpot.

Etymology: Relation + Placement

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