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'I'm getting my vocal cords tuned!'

DEFINITION: n. A non-threatening term to describe the procedure of cutting vocal cords on yappy dogs, which makes it sound like a good thing -- after all, they will never bark again. v. To remove the vocal chords.

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Verboticisms

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Barkliptoyapatall

metrohumanx

Created by: metrohumanx

Pronunciation: bar-CLIP-too-YAPP-at-all

Sentence: Tom had his cat de-clawed, his bird's wings clipped, his stallion gelded and his wife's feet bound. A legendary humanitarian, he had his beloved pooch submit to a painless BARKLIPTOYAPATALL operation in lieu of puncturing his own eardrumas with a shish-kabob skewer.

Etymology: bark+ clip+ to+ yap+ at+ all :)

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COMMENTS:

Welcome back, metro...it's been ruff, ruff without you! - Nosila, 2009-08-31: 13:19:00

metrohumanx Merci! - metrohumanx, 2009-09-01: 11:08:00

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Yiposuction

erasmus

Created by: erasmus

Pronunciation: yip o suck shon

Sentence: Terry the terrier had yiposuction to stop him singing along to phil collins tracks and cracking the panes in next doors greenhouse

Etymology: from yip as in yip yap dog noises and suction, like liposuction.

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Softenbark

petaj

Created by: petaj

Pronunciation: soff-n-bach

Sentence: Fideaux the puppy's awful barking would clash with his owner's piano practice. So he was off to the vet to softenbark.

Etymology: soften (make quieter) + bark (dog noise) + offenbach (musical composer)

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Peticure

Created by: wordmeister

Pronunciation: pet-E-kUr

Sentence: Joan and Roger thought that their home would be a lot quieter once they gave Rover a peticure. And it was for a while... Unfortunately their daughter was quite upset, and out of sympathy for Rover refused to speak, answering all questions with a loud bark!

Etymology: pet+pedicure

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Marceauing

Created by: maxxy

Pronunciation: mar-SEW-ing

Sentence: Fluffy was a little hesitant -- he remembered how he he had thought "neutering" meant he'd get his own private fetch instructor -- but, still, the prospect of being marceaued just sounded so elegant.

Etymology: From Marcel Marceau, world-famous mime

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COMMENTS:

Clever! - wordmeister, 2007-01-30: 11:38:00

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Unchordinate

jonzerofourteen

Created by: jonzerofourteen

Pronunciation: un kord in ayt

Sentence: Puddles, next door, was a quiet dog since the operation. Jeff secretly wished somebody would unchordinate its owner in a similar manner.

Etymology: un (to negate) + chord (as in vocal chord) + ate (to cause or to act upon)

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Bartunist

Created by: adbern

Pronunciation: bar-tu-nist

Sentence: That dog barkes ugly, it need fast a bartunist

Etymology: bar from bark, tu =tune, ist from install= barktune install

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Frogmentation

artr

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: frôgmentāshən

Sentence: When anybody asked, Rudy told people that had undergone a vocal frogmentation. He felt that it sounded less extreme and less selfish then having the vocal cords of his yappy little dog cut.

Etymology: Frog [in the throat] (Temporary hoarseness caused by phlegm in the back of the throat) + augmentation (improvement)

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Yapotomy

CharlieB

Created by: CharlieB

Pronunciation: yap-o-tə-mi

Sentence: After a week of mournful looks and silence from Fido, Mrs Smythe strongly suspected her neighbour had kidnapped the poor pooch in the night and performed a yapotomy.

Etymology: yap (of a small dog – to bark constantly) + -tomy (surgical incision)

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COMMENTS:

rough - galwaywegian, 2011-01-18: 10:14:00

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Barkover

Created by: w5lf9s

Pronunciation: bar.kover

Sentence: looks like his poodle finally got a barkover. I haven't heard him for days.

Etymology: bark, over

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Comments:

wordmeister - 2007-01-30: 12:00:00
Wow! Lot's of funny words today!

wordmeister - 2007-01-30: 12:19:00
Hey, I'm winning! Ooops, I'm the only player in this group...

Discoveria - 2007-01-30: 15:28:00
Some rather 'surgical' ones too...

wordmeister - 2007-01-30: 17:09:00
Yes, I suppose we have a lot of doctors who are contributing...

mrskellyscl mrskellyscl - 2009-08-31: 08:07:00
This happened to a dog in our neighborhood. The kids call him "Horace."

Nosila - 2009-08-31: 13:21:00
My friend's spaniel had his tail cut...so he's now called Bob!

artr2 - 2012-06-08: 06:42:00
Didn't play this round because I couldn't find the humor in this cruel, self-centered practice. ArtR2