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'I'm getting my vocal cords tuned!'

DEFINITION: n. A non-threatening term to describe the procedure of cutting vocal cords on yappy dogs, which makes it sound like a good thing -- after all, they will never bark again. v. To remove the vocal chords.

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Verboticisms

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You have two votes. Click on the words to read the details, then vote your favorite.

Frogmentation

artr

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: frôgmentāshən

Sentence: When anybody asked, Rudy told people that had undergone a vocal frogmentation. He felt that it sounded less extreme and less selfish then having the vocal cords of his yappy little dog cut.

Etymology: Frog [in the throat] (Temporary hoarseness caused by phlegm in the back of the throat) + augmentation (improvement)

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Goldend

Created by: Buzzardbilly

Pronunciation: ˈgōl-dənd

Sentence: The vet goldend our dog, so we didn't get any warning barks when the burglars were coming.

Etymology: If silence is golden and you make something silent, wouldn't it be golden? Since the silence brings an end to the noise, wouldn't the procudure to rid the noisemaker of its noise-making abilities be a "gold end"? So, splicing "golden" and "end" makes "goldend."

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COMMENTS:

I have to add that the vet I used to work for refused to do the "de-barking" procedure (as they do call it) because the dogs still made noise and wore themselves out trying to bark. So, while my word fits the definition given, the procedure and its outcomes are at odds with the notion. - Buzzardbilly, 2009-08-31: 10:55:00

metrohumanx If it's cruel to "de-bark" a tree, how do our Canine-Americans feel about the procedure? - metrohumanx, 2009-09-01: 11:10:00

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Shushpuppy

Created by: Jabberwocky

Pronunciation: shush/pup/pee

Sentence: Shushpuppy is a humane procedure that will enable your dog to accompany you anywhere without being a nuisance - he would thank you for it (if he could)

Etymology: shush (to silence)+ hushpuppy

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COMMENTS:

Sorry Jabberwocky, I did not realize that after my entry triggered a "Join shushpuppy group" I would be listed for the same submittal you had already entered. I expected to be able to try to enter another word. - chofu67, 2007-01-30: 11:11:00

no problem chofus67 - We probably thought of it at the same time - I wonder if that means we can vote for each other... - Jabberwocky, 2007-01-30: 11:21:00

Verbotomy Hey Chofu67 and Jabberwocky, Great minds think alike! Nevertheless, I was thinking of removing the "join group" function. What do you think? - Verbotomy, 2007-01-30: 11:35:00

It's fine with me either way - from Chofu67's comment, it sounds as if it was accidental anyway. It may happen though that a group decides to put in a word together and would appreciate the option - Jabberwocky, 2007-01-30: 12:05:00

Now that I know what "join group" means, I probably won't use that function again, so it could stay or go. - chofu67, 2007-01-30: 12:44:00

Looks like you guys had roughly the same idea I did. - ErWenn, 2007-01-30: 20:58:00

I think it was the picture - it reminded me of the old hush puppy commercials - Jabberwocky, 2007-01-31: 08:42:00

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Barkectomy

Created by: BMott

Pronunciation: bark-ek-to-me

Sentence: We took Yappi for a barkectomy after the neighbors complained about how noisy he was.

Etymology: Bark - The noise a dog makes. Ectomy - Removal of.

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Vooting

Created by: lilty4422

Pronunciation: voo-tang

Sentence: mY DOGS KEPT BARKING SO I STARTED VOTTING THIER THEM TO SHUT THEM UP!!

Etymology:

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Marceauing

Created by: maxxy

Pronunciation: mar-SEW-ing

Sentence: Fluffy was a little hesitant -- he remembered how he he had thought "neutering" meant he'd get his own private fetch instructor -- but, still, the prospect of being marceaued just sounded so elegant.

Etymology: From Marcel Marceau, world-famous mime

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COMMENTS:

Clever! - wordmeister, 2007-01-30: 11:38:00

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Goldenize

artr

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: gōldənīz

Sentence: When Ron saw an ad from his vet offering to goldenize his dog he was intrigued. Control his dog’s barking? That sounded great. When he found out that it involved cutting the vocal cords he was stunned.

Etymology: golden (very favorable) + ize (suffix forming verbs) because ”silence is golden”

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Barkless

Created by: josje

Pronunciation: barkless

Sentence: doing this it leaves your dog barkless

Etymology: barking and less

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Euphemutem

whimsy

Created by: whimsy

Pronunciation:

Sentence: The euphemutem the vet used for the procedure calmed him down, at least for the couple of moments before the vet returned with various sharp instruments.

Etymology: euphemism + mute + them (mute'em)

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Kittifying

Created by: allwise

Pronunciation: kit-i-fy-ing

Sentence: -"Hey little doggie, it's time to get you kittified!, yes it is," (cuddle, cuddle) "who's daddy's little cutie?!" (more cuddle cuddle)

Etymology: kittify - to make more catlike and cute

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Comments:

wordmeister - 2007-01-30: 12:00:00
Wow! Lot's of funny words today!

wordmeister - 2007-01-30: 12:19:00
Hey, I'm winning! Ooops, I'm the only player in this group...

Discoveria - 2007-01-30: 15:28:00
Some rather 'surgical' ones too...

wordmeister - 2007-01-30: 17:09:00
Yes, I suppose we have a lot of doctors who are contributing...

mrskellyscl mrskellyscl - 2009-08-31: 08:07:00
This happened to a dog in our neighborhood. The kids call him "Horace."

Nosila - 2009-08-31: 13:21:00
My friend's spaniel had his tail cut...so he's now called Bob!

artr2 - 2012-06-08: 06:42:00
Didn't play this round because I couldn't find the humor in this cruel, self-centered practice. ArtR2