Vote for the best verboticism.

'I'm getting my vocal cords tuned!'

DEFINITION: n. A non-threatening term to describe the procedure of cutting vocal cords on yappy dogs, which makes it sound like a good thing -- after all, they will never bark again. v. To remove the vocal chords.

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Verboticisms

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You have two votes. Click on the words to read the details, then vote your favorite.

Barkectomy

Created by: BMott

Pronunciation: bark-ek-to-me

Sentence: We took Yappi for a barkectomy after the neighbors complained about how noisy he was.

Etymology: Bark - The noise a dog makes. Ectomy - Removal of.

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Voxtration

Created by: johnnyrockett

Pronunciation: Va-ks-tray-shion

Sentence: I took Fido to the vet so he could voxtrate him. He hasn't said a word since.

Etymology: Vox - Latin for voice traiton - as in castration

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Camime

Created by: purpleartichokes

Pronunciation: KAY-mime

Sentence: Rover's yapping at the lint that had collected in Bob's navel was the deciding factor in him ultimately getting camimed.

Etymology: canine, mime (as in a mute actor)

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COMMENTS:

Much smarter and more original than "shushpuppy". Good stuff! - Bulletchewer, 2007-01-30: 19:37:00

Thank you Bulletchewer! - purpleartichokes, 2007-01-31: 04:11:00

I tried and tried to think of a word with mime - good work - Jabberwocky, 2007-01-31: 09:16:00

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Yelphelp

Created by: quippingqueen

Pronunciation: yelp/help

Sentence: The yodelling vet enthusiastically trilled on about how the yelphelp procedure was really quite simple - yank the yapping muscle once and for all.

Etymology: yelp + help

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COMMENTS:

Yonderful! - wordmeister, 2007-01-30: 12:39:00

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Yapendectomy

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: yap pen dek toe mee

Sentence: Fifi was so excited. She loved going in the car with her "Mommy". A car ride meant a run in the off-leash park or a free dog cone from Dairy Queen. Today Mommy had told her she was going to get a yapendectomy...she was so excited she barked all the way there. When they pulled up to the building, Fifi realized it was the same place where her brother Rover had gone when he had gotten tutored!

Etymology: Yap (bark in a high-pitched tone)& Appendectomy (surgical removal of the vermiform appendix)

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COMMENTS:

artr Great, now my kid won\'t go to his tutor! - artr, 2009-08-31: 06:33:00

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Debarkle

Created by: rikboyee

Pronunciation: dee-bar-kul

Sentence: Ever since the debarkle he's been much quieter...but for some reason he won't stop crapping on my pillow..

Etymology: bark, debacle... and in a non-threatening way it sounds a bit like sparkle....don't ya think

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COMMENTS:

erasmus oh yes. This works. - erasmus, 2007-01-30: 04:14:00

Just on the basis of your sentence, you get my vote today. - chofu67, 2007-01-30: 12:48:00

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Barkless

Created by: josje

Pronunciation: barkless

Sentence: doing this it leaves your dog barkless

Etymology: barking and less

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Goldend

Created by: Buzzardbilly

Pronunciation: ˈgōl-dənd

Sentence: The vet goldend our dog, so we didn't get any warning barks when the burglars were coming.

Etymology: If silence is golden and you make something silent, wouldn't it be golden? Since the silence brings an end to the noise, wouldn't the procudure to rid the noisemaker of its noise-making abilities be a "gold end"? So, splicing "golden" and "end" makes "goldend."

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COMMENTS:

I have to add that the vet I used to work for refused to do the "de-barking" procedure (as they do call it) because the dogs still made noise and wore themselves out trying to bark. So, while my word fits the definition given, the procedure and its outcomes are at odds with the notion. - Buzzardbilly, 2009-08-31: 10:55:00

metrohumanx If it's cruel to "de-bark" a tree, how do our Canine-Americans feel about the procedure? - metrohumanx, 2009-09-01: 11:10:00

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Petpax

Created by: Stevenson0

Pronunciation: pet/pax

Sentence: Annoying pet-speak disturbing your home life? Welcome to the 21st century puppy-love solution!! Petpax, the new non-invasive (to you the owner) surgery, guarantees to reduce pet chatter by 95%. Pets will be silently happy the way they were meant to be. (WARNING: may attract intruders and wet spots on the carpet - no assembly necessary)

Etymology: pet + pax (peace)

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Frogmentation

artr

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: frôgmentāshən

Sentence: When anybody asked, Rudy told people that had undergone a vocal frogmentation. He felt that it sounded less extreme and less selfish then having the vocal cords of his yappy little dog cut.

Etymology: Frog [in the throat] (Temporary hoarseness caused by phlegm in the back of the throat) + augmentation (improvement)

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Comments:

wordmeister - 2007-01-30: 12:00:00
Wow! Lot's of funny words today!

wordmeister - 2007-01-30: 12:19:00
Hey, I'm winning! Ooops, I'm the only player in this group...

Discoveria - 2007-01-30: 15:28:00
Some rather 'surgical' ones too...

wordmeister - 2007-01-30: 17:09:00
Yes, I suppose we have a lot of doctors who are contributing...

mrskellyscl mrskellyscl - 2009-08-31: 08:07:00
This happened to a dog in our neighborhood. The kids call him "Horace."

Nosila - 2009-08-31: 13:21:00
My friend's spaniel had his tail cut...so he's now called Bob!

artr2 - 2012-06-08: 06:42:00
Didn't play this round because I couldn't find the humor in this cruel, self-centered practice. ArtR2