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'I'm getting my vocal cords tuned!'

DEFINITION: n. A non-threatening term to describe the procedure of cutting vocal cords on yappy dogs, which makes it sound like a good thing -- after all, they will never bark again. v. To remove the vocal chords.

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Verboticisms

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Kittifying

Created by: allwise

Pronunciation: kit-i-fy-ing

Sentence: -"Hey little doggie, it's time to get you kittified!, yes it is," (cuddle, cuddle) "who's daddy's little cutie?!" (more cuddle cuddle)

Etymology: kittify - to make more catlike and cute

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Barkliptoyapatall

metrohumanx

Created by: metrohumanx

Pronunciation: bar-CLIP-too-YAPP-at-all

Sentence: Tom had his cat de-clawed, his bird's wings clipped, his stallion gelded and his wife's feet bound. A legendary humanitarian, he had his beloved pooch submit to a painless BARKLIPTOYAPATALL operation in lieu of puncturing his own eardrumas with a shish-kabob skewer.

Etymology: bark+ clip+ to+ yap+ at+ all :)

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COMMENTS:

Welcome back, metro...it's been ruff, ruff without you! - Nosila, 2009-08-31: 13:19:00

metrohumanx Merci! - metrohumanx, 2009-09-01: 11:08:00

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Dogcilise

Created by: Discoveria

Pronunciation: Dorg-sill-lies

Sentence: Are you tired of hearing that ceaseless yapping? Do you constantly wear earplugs? Then why not dogcilise young Rover? Swift and painless dogcilising facilities only at Golden Silences Vet Practice.

Etymology: Dog + docile: docile meaning quiet, meek. Also suggests 'sterilise'.

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Yelphelp

Created by: quippingqueen

Pronunciation: yelp/help

Sentence: The yodelling vet enthusiastically trilled on about how the yelphelp procedure was really quite simple - yank the yapping muscle once and for all.

Etymology: yelp + help

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COMMENTS:

Yonderful! - wordmeister, 2007-01-30: 12:39:00

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Larynicks

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: lari nix

Sentence: Fred had a smart, but yappy dog called Larry. So when Fred wanted to talk in front of Larry, he used pig-latin (or as he called it dog-latin). Fred told his wife he was taking Larry in the ar-cay to the eterinarian-vay, to ix-nay his larynicks and to have him eutered-nay. Poor Larry, after the operation, he lost his mojo and couldn''t tell anyone about it!

Etymology: Larynx (a cartilaginous structure at the top of the trachea; contains elastic vocal cords that are the source of the vocal tone in speech) & Nicks (cuts;cut slightly, with a razor)

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COMMENTS:

rebarkable - galwaywegian, 2011-01-18: 10:15:00

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Wooferectomy

Created by: MinoriMicino

Pronunciation:

Sentence:

Etymology:

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Unchordinate

jonzerofourteen

Created by: jonzerofourteen

Pronunciation: un kord in ayt

Sentence: Puddles, next door, was a quiet dog since the operation. Jeff secretly wished somebody would unchordinate its owner in a similar manner.

Etymology: un (to negate) + chord (as in vocal chord) + ate (to cause or to act upon)

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Frogmentation

artr

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: frôgmentāshən

Sentence: When anybody asked, Rudy told people that had undergone a vocal frogmentation. He felt that it sounded less extreme and less selfish then having the vocal cords of his yappy little dog cut.

Etymology: Frog [in the throat] (Temporary hoarseness caused by phlegm in the back of the throat) + augmentation (improvement)

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Euphemutem

whimsy

Created by: whimsy

Pronunciation:

Sentence: The euphemutem the vet used for the procedure calmed him down, at least for the couple of moments before the vet returned with various sharp instruments.

Etymology: euphemism + mute + them (mute'em)

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Puppyhush

Created by: ErWenn

Pronunciation: /'p&-pE-"h&sh/

Sentence: I hope that the Puppyhush(TM) procedure is only an urban legend because it'd be a pretty sick solution if it existed.

Etymology: From puppy + hush, reminiscent of "hush puppy."

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COMMENTS:

I take it you're not in favour of this procedure... - wordmeister, 2007-01-30: 01:34:00

Sounds pretty dreadful to me. I am in favor of fixing the annoying little buggers so that they don't breed, however. - ErWenn, 2007-01-30: 08:53:00

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Show All or More...

 

Comments:

wordmeister - 2007-01-30: 12:00:00
Wow! Lot's of funny words today!

wordmeister - 2007-01-30: 12:19:00
Hey, I'm winning! Ooops, I'm the only player in this group...

Discoveria - 2007-01-30: 15:28:00
Some rather 'surgical' ones too...

wordmeister - 2007-01-30: 17:09:00
Yes, I suppose we have a lot of doctors who are contributing...

mrskellyscl mrskellyscl - 2009-08-31: 08:07:00
This happened to a dog in our neighborhood. The kids call him "Horace."

Nosila - 2009-08-31: 13:21:00
My friend's spaniel had his tail cut...so he's now called Bob!

artr2 - 2012-06-08: 06:42:00
Didn't play this round because I couldn't find the humor in this cruel, self-centered practice. ArtR2