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'I'm getting my vocal cords tuned!'

DEFINITION: n. A non-threatening term to describe the procedure of cutting vocal cords on yappy dogs, which makes it sound like a good thing -- after all, they will never bark again. v. To remove the vocal chords.

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Verboticisms

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Camime

Created by: purpleartichokes

Pronunciation: KAY-mime

Sentence: Rover's yapping at the lint that had collected in Bob's navel was the deciding factor in him ultimately getting camimed.

Etymology: canine, mime (as in a mute actor)

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COMMENTS:

Much smarter and more original than "shushpuppy". Good stuff! - Bulletchewer, 2007-01-30: 19:37:00

Thank you Bulletchewer! - purpleartichokes, 2007-01-31: 04:11:00

I tried and tried to think of a word with mime - good work - Jabberwocky, 2007-01-31: 09:16:00

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Vocaleskapi

Created by: ninjakane

Pronunciation: Vo-cal-esk-a-pea

Sentence: This dog needs a vocaleskapi stat!

Etymology: Australian

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Goldend

Created by: Buzzardbilly

Pronunciation: ˈgōl-dənd

Sentence: The vet goldend our dog, so we didn't get any warning barks when the burglars were coming.

Etymology: If silence is golden and you make something silent, wouldn't it be golden? Since the silence brings an end to the noise, wouldn't the procudure to rid the noisemaker of its noise-making abilities be a "gold end"? So, splicing "golden" and "end" makes "goldend."

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COMMENTS:

I have to add that the vet I used to work for refused to do the "de-barking" procedure (as they do call it) because the dogs still made noise and wore themselves out trying to bark. So, while my word fits the definition given, the procedure and its outcomes are at odds with the notion. - Buzzardbilly, 2009-08-31: 10:55:00

metrohumanx If it's cruel to "de-bark" a tree, how do our Canine-Americans feel about the procedure? - metrohumanx, 2009-09-01: 11:10:00

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Kittifying

Created by: allwise

Pronunciation: kit-i-fy-ing

Sentence: -"Hey little doggie, it's time to get you kittified!, yes it is," (cuddle, cuddle) "who's daddy's little cutie?!" (more cuddle cuddle)

Etymology: kittify - to make more catlike and cute

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Yiposuction

erasmus

Created by: erasmus

Pronunciation: yip o suck shon

Sentence: Terry the terrier had yiposuction to stop him singing along to phil collins tracks and cracking the panes in next doors greenhouse

Etymology: from yip as in yip yap dog noises and suction, like liposuction.

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Yapendectomy

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: yap pen dek toe mee

Sentence: Fifi was so excited. She loved going in the car with her "Mommy". A car ride meant a run in the off-leash park or a free dog cone from Dairy Queen. Today Mommy had told her she was going to get a yapendectomy...she was so excited she barked all the way there. When they pulled up to the building, Fifi realized it was the same place where her brother Rover had gone when he had gotten tutored!

Etymology: Yap (bark in a high-pitched tone)& Appendectomy (surgical removal of the vermiform appendix)

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COMMENTS:

artr Great, now my kid won\'t go to his tutor! - artr, 2009-08-31: 06:33:00

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Peticure

Created by: wordmeister

Pronunciation: pet-E-kUr

Sentence: Joan and Roger thought that their home would be a lot quieter once they gave Rover a peticure. And it was for a while... Unfortunately their daughter was quite upset, and out of sympathy for Rover refused to speak, answering all questions with a loud bark!

Etymology: pet+pedicure

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Muttmute

Created by: sodium

Pronunciation: mutt-myoot

Sentence: Because she kept scaring the neighbor kids, Ursula was taken to the vet to undergo a muttmute.

Etymology: mutt + mute

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Bartunist

Created by: adbern

Pronunciation: bar-tu-nist

Sentence: That dog barkes ugly, it need fast a bartunist

Etymology: bar from bark, tu =tune, ist from install= barktune install

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Yapectomy

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: yap ek tomee

Sentence: See Spot run. See Spot bark. Se Spot bark once too often, at anything. See Dick & Jane take Spot to Doctor Pepper for a yapectomy. See Spot run again. No see Spot bark again. See Dick & Jane get no more noise infraction tickets!

Etymology: Yap (yelp, bark) & Ectomy (removal, surgical excision of a part)

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Comments:

wordmeister - 2007-01-30: 12:00:00
Wow! Lot's of funny words today!

wordmeister - 2007-01-30: 12:19:00
Hey, I'm winning! Ooops, I'm the only player in this group...

Discoveria - 2007-01-30: 15:28:00
Some rather 'surgical' ones too...

wordmeister - 2007-01-30: 17:09:00
Yes, I suppose we have a lot of doctors who are contributing...

mrskellyscl mrskellyscl - 2009-08-31: 08:07:00
This happened to a dog in our neighborhood. The kids call him "Horace."

Nosila - 2009-08-31: 13:21:00
My friend's spaniel had his tail cut...so he's now called Bob!

artr2 - 2012-06-08: 06:42:00
Didn't play this round because I couldn't find the humor in this cruel, self-centered practice. ArtR2