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'I'm getting my vocal cords tuned!'

DEFINITION: n. A non-threatening term to describe the procedure of cutting vocal cords on yappy dogs, which makes it sound like a good thing -- after all, they will never bark again. v. To remove the vocal chords.

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Verboticisms

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Kittifying

Created by: allwise

Pronunciation: kit-i-fy-ing

Sentence: -"Hey little doggie, it's time to get you kittified!, yes it is," (cuddle, cuddle) "who's daddy's little cutie?!" (more cuddle cuddle)

Etymology: kittify - to make more catlike and cute

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Unchordinate

jonzerofourteen

Created by: jonzerofourteen

Pronunciation: un kord in ayt

Sentence: Puddles, next door, was a quiet dog since the operation. Jeff secretly wished somebody would unchordinate its owner in a similar manner.

Etymology: un (to negate) + chord (as in vocal chord) + ate (to cause or to act upon)

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Yippeesiotomy

Created by: Osomatic

Pronunciation: yip-eeze-ee-ought-uh-me

Sentence: I'm paying for my neighbor's dog to get a yippeesiotomy, I figure it's worth it just to get some sleep.

Etymology: yip + yippee + episiotomy

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COMMENTS:

I know it's not exactly non-threatening, but I couldn't resist! - Osomatic, 2007-01-30: 01:31:00

It's great! The "yipi" part makes it sound very positive. - wordmeister, 2007-01-30: 01:33:00

Thanks, wordmeister! I almost spelled it "yippeesiotomy." In fact, maybe I still should... - Osomatic, 2007-01-30: 01:38:00

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Goldend

Created by: Buzzardbilly

Pronunciation: ˈgōl-dənd

Sentence: The vet goldend our dog, so we didn't get any warning barks when the burglars were coming.

Etymology: If silence is golden and you make something silent, wouldn't it be golden? Since the silence brings an end to the noise, wouldn't the procudure to rid the noisemaker of its noise-making abilities be a "gold end"? So, splicing "golden" and "end" makes "goldend."

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COMMENTS:

I have to add that the vet I used to work for refused to do the "de-barking" procedure (as they do call it) because the dogs still made noise and wore themselves out trying to bark. So, while my word fits the definition given, the procedure and its outcomes are at odds with the notion. - Buzzardbilly, 2009-08-31: 10:55:00

metrohumanx If it's cruel to "de-bark" a tree, how do our Canine-Americans feel about the procedure? - metrohumanx, 2009-09-01: 11:10:00

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Euphemutem

whimsy

Created by: whimsy

Pronunciation:

Sentence: The euphemutem the vet used for the procedure calmed him down, at least for the couple of moments before the vet returned with various sharp instruments.

Etymology: euphemism + mute + them (mute'em)

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Yipectomy

Created by: ahwinters

Pronunciation: yip - eck - toe - me

Sentence: Fido was significantly less annoying after his yipectomy.

Etymology: Yip (sound) + ectomy (to cut out)

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Barkover

Created by: w5lf9s

Pronunciation: bar.kover

Sentence: looks like his poodle finally got a barkover. I haven't heard him for days.

Etymology: bark, over

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Yapectomy

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: yap ek tomee

Sentence: See Spot run. See Spot bark. Se Spot bark once too often, at anything. See Dick & Jane take Spot to Doctor Pepper for a yapectomy. See Spot run again. No see Spot bark again. See Dick & Jane get no more noise infraction tickets!

Etymology: Yap (yelp, bark) & Ectomy (removal, surgical excision of a part)

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Woofsterectomy

Created by: Bulletchewer

Pronunciation: wuff-ster-rect-o-mee

Sentence: Every dog has his day, and today, neighbourhood nuisance Rover was having a woofsterectomy.

Etymology: From "woof" meaning (dunno, don't speak dog)and "hysterectomy" meaning bye bye baby, baby goodbye....

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Barkmuffle

Created by: jedijawa

Pronunciation: bark-muff-el

Sentence: Fido had a barkmuffle performed so he won't have to worry about barking anymore.

Etymology: bark + muffle

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Comments:

wordmeister - 2007-01-30: 12:00:00
Wow! Lot's of funny words today!

wordmeister - 2007-01-30: 12:19:00
Hey, I'm winning! Ooops, I'm the only player in this group...

Discoveria - 2007-01-30: 15:28:00
Some rather 'surgical' ones too...

wordmeister - 2007-01-30: 17:09:00
Yes, I suppose we have a lot of doctors who are contributing...

mrskellyscl mrskellyscl - 2009-08-31: 08:07:00
This happened to a dog in our neighborhood. The kids call him "Horace."

Nosila - 2009-08-31: 13:21:00
My friend's spaniel had his tail cut...so he's now called Bob!

artr2 - 2012-06-08: 06:42:00
Didn't play this round because I couldn't find the humor in this cruel, self-centered practice. ArtR2