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'I'm getting my vocal cords tuned!'

DEFINITION: n. A non-threatening term to describe the procedure of cutting vocal cords on yappy dogs, which makes it sound like a good thing -- after all, they will never bark again. v. To remove the vocal chords.

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Verboticisms

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Shutupredure

Created by: pandafever

Pronunciation: shut-up-preedur

Sentence: Thanks to Yoda's shutupredure, Elaine is no longer going to be evicted.

Etymology:

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Unchordinate

jonzerofourteen

Created by: jonzerofourteen

Pronunciation: un kord in ayt

Sentence: Puddles, next door, was a quiet dog since the operation. Jeff secretly wished somebody would unchordinate its owner in a similar manner.

Etymology: un (to negate) + chord (as in vocal chord) + ate (to cause or to act upon)

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Woofsterectomy

Created by: Bulletchewer

Pronunciation: wuff-ster-rect-o-mee

Sentence: Every dog has his day, and today, neighbourhood nuisance Rover was having a woofsterectomy.

Etymology: From "woof" meaning (dunno, don't speak dog)and "hysterectomy" meaning bye bye baby, baby goodbye....

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Softenbark

petaj

Created by: petaj

Pronunciation: soff-n-bach

Sentence: Fideaux the puppy's awful barking would clash with his owner's piano practice. So he was off to the vet to softenbark.

Etymology: soften (make quieter) + bark (dog noise) + offenbach (musical composer)

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Wooferectomy

Created by: MinoriMicino

Pronunciation:

Sentence:

Etymology:

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Yappysnappy

Created by: Javeson1

Pronunciation: yap-pee-snap-pee

Sentence: In my opinion, almost every little dog deserves to undergo yappysnappy and give my nerves a rest....just for a while.....

Etymology: yappy (dogs) + snappy (cords)

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Goldend

Created by: Buzzardbilly

Pronunciation: ˈgōl-dənd

Sentence: The vet goldend our dog, so we didn't get any warning barks when the burglars were coming.

Etymology: If silence is golden and you make something silent, wouldn't it be golden? Since the silence brings an end to the noise, wouldn't the procudure to rid the noisemaker of its noise-making abilities be a "gold end"? So, splicing "golden" and "end" makes "goldend."

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COMMENTS:

I have to add that the vet I used to work for refused to do the "de-barking" procedure (as they do call it) because the dogs still made noise and wore themselves out trying to bark. So, while my word fits the definition given, the procedure and its outcomes are at odds with the notion. - Buzzardbilly, 2009-08-31: 10:55:00

metrohumanx If it's cruel to "de-bark" a tree, how do our Canine-Americans feel about the procedure? - metrohumanx, 2009-09-01: 11:10:00

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Camime

Created by: purpleartichokes

Pronunciation: KAY-mime

Sentence: Rover's yapping at the lint that had collected in Bob's navel was the deciding factor in him ultimately getting camimed.

Etymology: canine, mime (as in a mute actor)

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COMMENTS:

Much smarter and more original than "shushpuppy". Good stuff! - Bulletchewer, 2007-01-30: 19:37:00

Thank you Bulletchewer! - purpleartichokes, 2007-01-31: 04:11:00

I tried and tried to think of a word with mime - good work - Jabberwocky, 2007-01-31: 09:16:00

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Puppyhush

Created by: ErWenn

Pronunciation: /'p&-pE-"h&sh/

Sentence: I hope that the Puppyhush(TM) procedure is only an urban legend because it'd be a pretty sick solution if it existed.

Etymology: From puppy + hush, reminiscent of "hush puppy."

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COMMENTS:

I take it you're not in favour of this procedure... - wordmeister, 2007-01-30: 01:34:00

Sounds pretty dreadful to me. I am in favor of fixing the annoying little buggers so that they don't breed, however. - ErWenn, 2007-01-30: 08:53:00

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Barkliptoyapatall

metrohumanx

Created by: metrohumanx

Pronunciation: bar-CLIP-too-YAPP-at-all

Sentence: Tom had his cat de-clawed, his bird's wings clipped, his stallion gelded and his wife's feet bound. A legendary humanitarian, he had his beloved pooch submit to a painless BARKLIPTOYAPATALL operation in lieu of puncturing his own eardrumas with a shish-kabob skewer.

Etymology: bark+ clip+ to+ yap+ at+ all :)

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COMMENTS:

Welcome back, metro...it's been ruff, ruff without you! - Nosila, 2009-08-31: 13:19:00

metrohumanx Merci! - metrohumanx, 2009-09-01: 11:08:00

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Comments:

wordmeister - 2007-01-30: 12:00:00
Wow! Lot's of funny words today!

wordmeister - 2007-01-30: 12:19:00
Hey, I'm winning! Ooops, I'm the only player in this group...

Discoveria - 2007-01-30: 15:28:00
Some rather 'surgical' ones too...

wordmeister - 2007-01-30: 17:09:00
Yes, I suppose we have a lot of doctors who are contributing...

mrskellyscl mrskellyscl - 2009-08-31: 08:07:00
This happened to a dog in our neighborhood. The kids call him "Horace."

Nosila - 2009-08-31: 13:21:00
My friend's spaniel had his tail cut...so he's now called Bob!

artr2 - 2012-06-08: 06:42:00
Didn't play this round because I couldn't find the humor in this cruel, self-centered practice. ArtR2