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'I'm getting my vocal cords tuned!'

DEFINITION: n. A non-threatening term to describe the procedure of cutting vocal cords on yappy dogs, which makes it sound like a good thing -- after all, they will never bark again. v. To remove the vocal chords.

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Verboticisms

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Yipectomy

Created by: ahwinters

Pronunciation: yip - eck - toe - me

Sentence: Fido was significantly less annoying after his yipectomy.

Etymology: Yip (sound) + ectomy (to cut out)

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Debarkle

Created by: rikboyee

Pronunciation: dee-bar-kul

Sentence: Ever since the debarkle he's been much quieter...but for some reason he won't stop crapping on my pillow..

Etymology: bark, debacle... and in a non-threatening way it sounds a bit like sparkle....don't ya think

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COMMENTS:

erasmus oh yes. This works. - erasmus, 2007-01-30: 04:14:00

Just on the basis of your sentence, you get my vote today. - chofu67, 2007-01-30: 12:48:00

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Vooting

Created by: lilty4422

Pronunciation: voo-tang

Sentence: mY DOGS KEPT BARKING SO I STARTED VOTTING THIER THEM TO SHUT THEM UP!!

Etymology:

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Frogmentation

artr

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: frôgmentāshən

Sentence: When anybody asked, Rudy told people that had undergone a vocal frogmentation. He felt that it sounded less extreme and less selfish then having the vocal cords of his yappy little dog cut.

Etymology: Frog [in the throat] (Temporary hoarseness caused by phlegm in the back of the throat) + augmentation (improvement)

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Puppyhush

Created by: ErWenn

Pronunciation: /'p&-pE-"h&sh/

Sentence: I hope that the Puppyhush(TM) procedure is only an urban legend because it'd be a pretty sick solution if it existed.

Etymology: From puppy + hush, reminiscent of "hush puppy."

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COMMENTS:

I take it you're not in favour of this procedure... - wordmeister, 2007-01-30: 01:34:00

Sounds pretty dreadful to me. I am in favor of fixing the annoying little buggers so that they don't breed, however. - ErWenn, 2007-01-30: 08:53:00

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Softenbark

petaj

Created by: petaj

Pronunciation: soff-n-bach

Sentence: Fideaux the puppy's awful barking would clash with his owner's piano practice. So he was off to the vet to softenbark.

Etymology: soften (make quieter) + bark (dog noise) + offenbach (musical composer)

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Yiposuction

erasmus

Created by: erasmus

Pronunciation: yip o suck shon

Sentence: Terry the terrier had yiposuction to stop him singing along to phil collins tracks and cracking the panes in next doors greenhouse

Etymology: from yip as in yip yap dog noises and suction, like liposuction.

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Vocaleskapi

Created by: ninjakane

Pronunciation: Vo-cal-esk-a-pea

Sentence: This dog needs a vocaleskapi stat!

Etymology: Australian

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Disemhowl

Created by: toadstool57

Pronunciation: dis-em-howl

Sentence: Spot started studying sign language after hearing his master tell the vet Spot need to be disemhowled.

Etymology: disembowel/howl

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Goldend

Created by: Buzzardbilly

Pronunciation: ˈgōl-dənd

Sentence: The vet goldend our dog, so we didn't get any warning barks when the burglars were coming.

Etymology: If silence is golden and you make something silent, wouldn't it be golden? Since the silence brings an end to the noise, wouldn't the procudure to rid the noisemaker of its noise-making abilities be a "gold end"? So, splicing "golden" and "end" makes "goldend."

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COMMENTS:

I have to add that the vet I used to work for refused to do the "de-barking" procedure (as they do call it) because the dogs still made noise and wore themselves out trying to bark. So, while my word fits the definition given, the procedure and its outcomes are at odds with the notion. - Buzzardbilly, 2009-08-31: 10:55:00

metrohumanx If it's cruel to "de-bark" a tree, how do our Canine-Americans feel about the procedure? - metrohumanx, 2009-09-01: 11:10:00

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Comments:

wordmeister - 2007-01-30: 12:00:00
Wow! Lot's of funny words today!

wordmeister - 2007-01-30: 12:19:00
Hey, I'm winning! Ooops, I'm the only player in this group...

Discoveria - 2007-01-30: 15:28:00
Some rather 'surgical' ones too...

wordmeister - 2007-01-30: 17:09:00
Yes, I suppose we have a lot of doctors who are contributing...

mrskellyscl mrskellyscl - 2009-08-31: 08:07:00
This happened to a dog in our neighborhood. The kids call him "Horace."

Nosila - 2009-08-31: 13:21:00
My friend's spaniel had his tail cut...so he's now called Bob!

artr2 - 2012-06-08: 06:42:00
Didn't play this round because I couldn't find the humor in this cruel, self-centered practice. ArtR2