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'I'm getting my vocal cords tuned!'

DEFINITION: n. A non-threatening term to describe the procedure of cutting vocal cords on yappy dogs, which makes it sound like a good thing -- after all, they will never bark again. v. To remove the vocal chords.

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Verboticisms

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Wooferectomy

Created by: MinoriMicino

Pronunciation:

Sentence:

Etymology:

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Woofediting

Created by: mweinmann

Pronunciation: wuf - edet - ting

Sentence: Sparky was excited to go for woofediting. He thought it meant that he would emerge with a smooth, silky voice that would fit with his image....as a "Dog About Town".

Etymology: woof, editing

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Softenbark

petaj

Created by: petaj

Pronunciation: soff-n-bach

Sentence: Fideaux the puppy's awful barking would clash with his owner's piano practice. So he was off to the vet to softenbark.

Etymology: soften (make quieter) + bark (dog noise) + offenbach (musical composer)

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Yapotomy

CharlieB

Created by: CharlieB

Pronunciation: yap-o-tə-mi

Sentence: After a week of mournful looks and silence from Fido, Mrs Smythe strongly suspected her neighbour had kidnapped the poor pooch in the night and performed a yapotomy.

Etymology: yap (of a small dog – to bark constantly) + -tomy (surgical incision)

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COMMENTS:

rough - galwaywegian, 2011-01-18: 10:14:00

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Shutupredure

Created by: pandafever

Pronunciation: shut-up-preedur

Sentence: Thanks to Yoda's shutupredure, Elaine is no longer going to be evicted.

Etymology:

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Yappysnappy

Created by: Javeson1

Pronunciation: yap-pee-snap-pee

Sentence: In my opinion, almost every little dog deserves to undergo yappysnappy and give my nerves a rest....just for a while.....

Etymology: yappy (dogs) + snappy (cords)

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Dogcilise

Created by: Discoveria

Pronunciation: Dorg-sill-lies

Sentence: Are you tired of hearing that ceaseless yapping? Do you constantly wear earplugs? Then why not dogcilise young Rover? Swift and painless dogcilising facilities only at Golden Silences Vet Practice.

Etymology: Dog + docile: docile meaning quiet, meek. Also suggests 'sterilise'.

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Yippeesiotomy

Created by: Osomatic

Pronunciation: yip-eeze-ee-ought-uh-me

Sentence: I'm paying for my neighbor's dog to get a yippeesiotomy, I figure it's worth it just to get some sleep.

Etymology: yip + yippee + episiotomy

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COMMENTS:

I know it's not exactly non-threatening, but I couldn't resist! - Osomatic, 2007-01-30: 01:31:00

It's great! The "yipi" part makes it sound very positive. - wordmeister, 2007-01-30: 01:33:00

Thanks, wordmeister! I almost spelled it "yippeesiotomy." In fact, maybe I still should... - Osomatic, 2007-01-30: 01:38:00

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Barkless

Created by: josje

Pronunciation: barkless

Sentence: doing this it leaves your dog barkless

Etymology: barking and less

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Puppyhush

Created by: ErWenn

Pronunciation: /'p&-pE-"h&sh/

Sentence: I hope that the Puppyhush(TM) procedure is only an urban legend because it'd be a pretty sick solution if it existed.

Etymology: From puppy + hush, reminiscent of "hush puppy."

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COMMENTS:

I take it you're not in favour of this procedure... - wordmeister, 2007-01-30: 01:34:00

Sounds pretty dreadful to me. I am in favor of fixing the annoying little buggers so that they don't breed, however. - ErWenn, 2007-01-30: 08:53:00

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Comments:

wordmeister - 2007-01-30: 12:00:00
Wow! Lot's of funny words today!

wordmeister - 2007-01-30: 12:19:00
Hey, I'm winning! Ooops, I'm the only player in this group...

Discoveria - 2007-01-30: 15:28:00
Some rather 'surgical' ones too...

wordmeister - 2007-01-30: 17:09:00
Yes, I suppose we have a lot of doctors who are contributing...

mrskellyscl mrskellyscl - 2009-08-31: 08:07:00
This happened to a dog in our neighborhood. The kids call him "Horace."

Nosila - 2009-08-31: 13:21:00
My friend's spaniel had his tail cut...so he's now called Bob!

artr2 - 2012-06-08: 06:42:00
Didn't play this round because I couldn't find the humor in this cruel, self-centered practice. ArtR2