Vote for the best verboticism.
DEFINITION: n. A non-threatening term to describe the procedure of cutting vocal cords on yappy dogs, which makes it sound like a good thing -- after all, they will never bark again. v. To remove the vocal chords.
Verboticisms
Click on each verboticism to read the sentences created by the Verbotomy writers, and to see your voting options...
You have two votes. Click on the words to read the details, then vote your favorite.
Goldend
Created by: Buzzardbilly
Pronunciation: ˈgōl-dənd
Sentence: The vet goldend our dog, so we didn't get any warning barks when the burglars were coming.
Etymology: If silence is golden and you make something silent, wouldn't it be golden? Since the silence brings an end to the noise, wouldn't the procudure to rid the noisemaker of its noise-making abilities be a "gold end"? So, splicing "golden" and "end" makes "goldend."
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COMMENTS:
I have to add that the vet I used to work for refused to do the "de-barking" procedure (as they do call it) because the dogs still made noise and wore themselves out trying to bark. So, while my word fits the definition given, the procedure and its outcomes are at odds with the notion. - Buzzardbilly, 2009-08-31: 10:55:00
If it's cruel to "de-bark" a tree, how do our Canine-Americans feel about the procedure? - metrohumanx, 2009-09-01: 11:10:00
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Softenbark
Created by: petaj
Pronunciation: soff-n-bach
Sentence: Fideaux the puppy's awful barking would clash with his owner's piano practice. So he was off to the vet to softenbark.
Etymology: soften (make quieter) + bark (dog noise) + offenbach (musical composer)
Shushpuppy
Created by: chofu67
Pronunciation: shush/pup/pee
Sentence: Shushpuppy is a humane procedure that will enable your dog to accompany you anywhere without being a nuisance - he would thank you for it (if he could)
Etymology: shush (to silence)+ hushpuppy
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COMMENTS:
Sorry Jabberwocky, I did not realize that after my entry triggered a "Join shushpuppy group" I would be listed for the same submittal you had already entered. I expected to be able to try to enter another word. - chofu67, 2007-01-30: 11:11:00
no problem chofus67 - We probably thought of it at the same time - I wonder if that means we can vote for each other... - Jabberwocky, 2007-01-30: 11:21:00
Hey Chofu67 and Jabberwocky, Great minds think alike! Nevertheless, I was thinking of removing the "join group" function. What do you think? - Verbotomy, 2007-01-30: 11:35:00
It's fine with me either way - from Chofu67's comment, it sounds as if it was accidental anyway. It may happen though that a group decides to put in a word together and would appreciate the option - Jabberwocky, 2007-01-30: 12:05:00
Now that I know what "join group" means, I probably won't use that function again, so it could stay or go. - chofu67, 2007-01-30: 12:44:00
Looks like you guys had roughly the same idea I did. - ErWenn, 2007-01-30: 20:58:00
I think it was the picture - it reminded me of the old hush puppy commercials - Jabberwocky, 2007-01-31: 08:42:00
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Puppyhush
Created by: ErWenn
Pronunciation: /'p&-pE-"h&sh/
Sentence: I hope that the Puppyhush(TM) procedure is only an urban legend because it'd be a pretty sick solution if it existed.
Etymology: From puppy + hush, reminiscent of "hush puppy."
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COMMENTS:
I take it you're not in favour of this procedure... - wordmeister, 2007-01-30: 01:34:00
Sounds pretty dreadful to me. I am in favor of fixing the annoying little buggers so that they don't breed, however. - ErWenn, 2007-01-30: 08:53:00
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Unchordinate
Created by: jonzerofourteen
Pronunciation: un kord in ayt
Sentence: Puddles, next door, was a quiet dog since the operation. Jeff secretly wished somebody would unchordinate its owner in a similar manner.
Etymology: un (to negate) + chord (as in vocal chord) + ate (to cause or to act upon)
Barkliptoyapatall
Created by: metrohumanx
Pronunciation: bar-CLIP-too-YAPP-at-all
Sentence: Tom had his cat de-clawed, his bird's wings clipped, his stallion gelded and his wife's feet bound. A legendary humanitarian, he had his beloved pooch submit to a painless BARKLIPTOYAPATALL operation in lieu of puncturing his own eardrumas with a shish-kabob skewer.
Etymology: bark+ clip+ to+ yap+ at+ all :)
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COMMENTS:
Welcome back, metro...it's been ruff, ruff without you! - Nosila, 2009-08-31: 13:19:00
Merci! - metrohumanx, 2009-09-01: 11:08:00
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Bartunist
Created by: adbern
Pronunciation: bar-tu-nist
Sentence: That dog barkes ugly, it need fast a bartunist
Etymology: bar from bark, tu =tune, ist from install= barktune install
Disemhowl
Created by: toadstool57
Pronunciation: dis-em-howl
Sentence: Spot started studying sign language after hearing his master tell the vet Spot need to be disemhowled.
Etymology: disembowel/howl
Yapectomy
Created by: Nosila
Pronunciation: yap ek tomee
Sentence: See Spot run. See Spot bark. Se Spot bark once too often, at anything. See Dick & Jane take Spot to Doctor Pepper for a yapectomy. See Spot run again. No see Spot bark again. See Dick & Jane get no more noise infraction tickets!
Etymology: Yap (yelp, bark) & Ectomy (removal, surgical excision of a part)
Euphemutem
Created by: whimsy
Pronunciation:
Sentence: The euphemutem the vet used for the procedure calmed him down, at least for the couple of moments before the vet returned with various sharp instruments.
Etymology: euphemism + mute + them (mute'em)
Comments:
wordmeister - 2007-01-30: 12:00:00
Wow! Lot's of funny words today!
wordmeister - 2007-01-30: 12:19:00
Hey, I'm winning! Ooops, I'm the only player in this group...
Discoveria - 2007-01-30: 15:28:00
Some rather 'surgical' ones too...
wordmeister - 2007-01-30: 17:09:00
Yes, I suppose we have a lot of doctors who are contributing...
This happened to a dog in our neighborhood. The kids call him "Horace."
Nosila - 2009-08-31: 13:21:00
My friend's spaniel had his tail cut...so he's now called Bob!
artr2 - 2012-06-08: 06:42:00
Didn't play this round because I couldn't find the humor in this cruel, self-centered practice. ArtR2