Vote for the best verboticism.
DEFINITION: n. A non-threatening term to describe the procedure of cutting vocal cords on yappy dogs, which makes it sound like a good thing -- after all, they will never bark again. v. To remove the vocal chords.
Verboticisms
Click on each verboticism to read the sentences created by the Verbotomy writers, and to see your voting options...
You have two votes. Click on the words to read the details, then vote your favorite.
Yippeesiotomy
Created by: Osomatic
Pronunciation: yip-eeze-ee-ought-uh-me
Sentence: I'm paying for my neighbor's dog to get a yippeesiotomy, I figure it's worth it just to get some sleep.
Etymology: yip + yippee + episiotomy
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COMMENTS:
I know it's not exactly non-threatening, but I couldn't resist! - Osomatic, 2007-01-30: 01:31:00
It's great! The "yipi" part makes it sound very positive. - wordmeister, 2007-01-30: 01:33:00
Thanks, wordmeister! I almost spelled it "yippeesiotomy." In fact, maybe I still should... - Osomatic, 2007-01-30: 01:38:00
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Goldend
Created by: Buzzardbilly
Pronunciation: ˈgōl-dənd
Sentence: The vet goldend our dog, so we didn't get any warning barks when the burglars were coming.
Etymology: If silence is golden and you make something silent, wouldn't it be golden? Since the silence brings an end to the noise, wouldn't the procudure to rid the noisemaker of its noise-making abilities be a "gold end"? So, splicing "golden" and "end" makes "goldend."
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COMMENTS:
I have to add that the vet I used to work for refused to do the "de-barking" procedure (as they do call it) because the dogs still made noise and wore themselves out trying to bark. So, while my word fits the definition given, the procedure and its outcomes are at odds with the notion. - Buzzardbilly, 2009-08-31: 10:55:00
If it's cruel to "de-bark" a tree, how do our Canine-Americans feel about the procedure? - metrohumanx, 2009-09-01: 11:10:00
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Woofediting
Created by: mweinmann
Pronunciation: wuf - edet - ting
Sentence: Sparky was excited to go for woofediting. He thought it meant that he would emerge with a smooth, silky voice that would fit with his image....as a "Dog About Town".
Etymology: woof, editing
Camime
Created by: purpleartichokes
Pronunciation: KAY-mime
Sentence: Rover's yapping at the lint that had collected in Bob's navel was the deciding factor in him ultimately getting camimed.
Etymology: canine, mime (as in a mute actor)
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COMMENTS:
Much smarter and more original than "shushpuppy". Good stuff! - Bulletchewer, 2007-01-30: 19:37:00
Thank you Bulletchewer! - purpleartichokes, 2007-01-31: 04:11:00
I tried and tried to think of a word with mime - good work - Jabberwocky, 2007-01-31: 09:16:00
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Barchotomy
Created by: Mustang
Pronunciation: bar-KOT-uh-mee
Sentence: After many sleepless nights and calls from angry neighbors Harriet took her pooch Herbie to the vet for a barchotomy which solved her problem but left Herbie perplexed at his wispering bark.
Etymology: Combination of bark (the abrupt, harsh, explosive cry of a dog) and dichotomy (from the Greek dichotomia (divided): dich- (form of dícha , in two, asunder); tomia- a combining form meaning cutting, incision, excision of an object)
Barkliptoyapatall
Created by: metrohumanx
Pronunciation: bar-CLIP-too-YAPP-at-all
Sentence: Tom had his cat de-clawed, his bird's wings clipped, his stallion gelded and his wife's feet bound. A legendary humanitarian, he had his beloved pooch submit to a painless BARKLIPTOYAPATALL operation in lieu of puncturing his own eardrumas with a shish-kabob skewer.
Etymology: bark+ clip+ to+ yap+ at+ all :)
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COMMENTS:
Welcome back, metro...it's been ruff, ruff without you! - Nosila, 2009-08-31: 13:19:00
Merci! - metrohumanx, 2009-09-01: 11:08:00
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Euphemutem
Created by: whimsy
Pronunciation:
Sentence: The euphemutem the vet used for the procedure calmed him down, at least for the couple of moments before the vet returned with various sharp instruments.
Etymology: euphemism + mute + them (mute'em)
Frogmentation
Created by: artr
Pronunciation: frôgmentāshən
Sentence: When anybody asked, Rudy told people that had undergone a vocal frogmentation. He felt that it sounded less extreme and less selfish then having the vocal cords of his yappy little dog cut.
Etymology: Frog [in the throat] (Temporary hoarseness caused by phlegm in the back of the throat) + augmentation (improvement)
Goldenize
Created by: artr
Pronunciation: gōldənīz
Sentence: When Ron saw an ad from his vet offering to goldenize his dog he was intrigued. Control his dog’s barking? That sounded great. When he found out that it involved cutting the vocal cords he was stunned.
Etymology: golden (very favorable) + ize (suffix forming verbs) because ”silence is golden”
Comments:
wordmeister - 2007-01-30: 12:00:00
Wow! Lot's of funny words today!
wordmeister - 2007-01-30: 12:19:00
Hey, I'm winning! Ooops, I'm the only player in this group...
Discoveria - 2007-01-30: 15:28:00
Some rather 'surgical' ones too...
wordmeister - 2007-01-30: 17:09:00
Yes, I suppose we have a lot of doctors who are contributing...
This happened to a dog in our neighborhood. The kids call him "Horace."
Nosila - 2009-08-31: 13:21:00
My friend's spaniel had his tail cut...so he's now called Bob!
artr2 - 2012-06-08: 06:42:00
Didn't play this round because I couldn't find the humor in this cruel, self-centered practice. ArtR2