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'I'm getting my vocal cords tuned!'

DEFINITION: n. A non-threatening term to describe the procedure of cutting vocal cords on yappy dogs, which makes it sound like a good thing -- after all, they will never bark again. v. To remove the vocal chords.

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Verboticisms

Click on each verboticism to read the sentences created by the Verbotomy writers, and to see your voting options...

You have two votes. Click on the words to read the details, then vote your favorite.

Vocaleskapi

Created by: ninjakane

Pronunciation: Vo-cal-esk-a-pea

Sentence: This dog needs a vocaleskapi stat!

Etymology: Australian

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Peticure

Created by: wordmeister

Pronunciation: pet-E-kUr

Sentence: Joan and Roger thought that their home would be a lot quieter once they gave Rover a peticure. And it was for a while... Unfortunately their daughter was quite upset, and out of sympathy for Rover refused to speak, answering all questions with a loud bark!

Etymology: pet+pedicure

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Wooferectomy

Created by: MinoriMicino

Pronunciation:

Sentence:

Etymology:

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Euphemutem

whimsy

Created by: whimsy

Pronunciation:

Sentence: The euphemutem the vet used for the procedure calmed him down, at least for the couple of moments before the vet returned with various sharp instruments.

Etymology: euphemism + mute + them (mute'em)

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Barkover

Created by: w5lf9s

Pronunciation: bar.kover

Sentence: looks like his poodle finally got a barkover. I haven't heard him for days.

Etymology: bark, over

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Puppyhush

Created by: ErWenn

Pronunciation: /'p&-pE-"h&sh/

Sentence: I hope that the Puppyhush(TM) procedure is only an urban legend because it'd be a pretty sick solution if it existed.

Etymology: From puppy + hush, reminiscent of "hush puppy."

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COMMENTS:

I take it you're not in favour of this procedure... - wordmeister, 2007-01-30: 01:34:00

Sounds pretty dreadful to me. I am in favor of fixing the annoying little buggers so that they don't breed, however. - ErWenn, 2007-01-30: 08:53:00

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Petpax

Created by: Stevenson0

Pronunciation: pet/pax

Sentence: Annoying pet-speak disturbing your home life? Welcome to the 21st century puppy-love solution!! Petpax, the new non-invasive (to you the owner) surgery, guarantees to reduce pet chatter by 95%. Pets will be silently happy the way they were meant to be. (WARNING: may attract intruders and wet spots on the carpet - no assembly necessary)

Etymology: pet + pax (peace)

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Softenbark

petaj

Created by: petaj

Pronunciation: soff-n-bach

Sentence: Fideaux the puppy's awful barking would clash with his owner's piano practice. So he was off to the vet to softenbark.

Etymology: soften (make quieter) + bark (dog noise) + offenbach (musical composer)

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Snuffulated

Created by: paperhoard

Pronunciation: snuff-you-late

Sentence: After Sparky was vocally snuffulated I started yelling at the gerbil for squealing every time I touched the potato chip bag.

Etymology: Derived from the word SNUFF, to put a sudden end to.

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COMMENTS:

erasmus so cute though. - erasmus, 2007-01-30: 10:04:00

erasmus so cute though. This gets my vote but voting appears to be broken. - erasmus, 2007-01-30: 10:05:00

Thanks! - paperhoard, 2007-01-30: 11:50:00

also sounds like suffocated... Cute and scary! - wordmeister, 2007-01-30: 14:54:00

Oops - forgot about the "non-threatening" aspect of the word. The dog won't understand anyway! - paperhoard, 2007-01-30: 14:56:00

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Barkmuffle

Created by: jedijawa

Pronunciation: bark-muff-el

Sentence: Fido had a barkmuffle performed so he won't have to worry about barking anymore.

Etymology: bark + muffle

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Comments:

wordmeister - 2007-01-30: 12:00:00
Wow! Lot's of funny words today!

wordmeister - 2007-01-30: 12:19:00
Hey, I'm winning! Ooops, I'm the only player in this group...

Discoveria - 2007-01-30: 15:28:00
Some rather 'surgical' ones too...

wordmeister - 2007-01-30: 17:09:00
Yes, I suppose we have a lot of doctors who are contributing...

mrskellyscl mrskellyscl - 2009-08-31: 08:07:00
This happened to a dog in our neighborhood. The kids call him "Horace."

Nosila - 2009-08-31: 13:21:00
My friend's spaniel had his tail cut...so he's now called Bob!

artr2 - 2012-06-08: 06:42:00
Didn't play this round because I couldn't find the humor in this cruel, self-centered practice. ArtR2