Vote for the best verboticism.
DEFINITION: n. A non-threatening term to describe the procedure of cutting vocal cords on yappy dogs, which makes it sound like a good thing -- after all, they will never bark again. v. To remove the vocal chords.
Verboticisms
Click on each verboticism to read the sentences created by the Verbotomy writers, and to see your voting options...
You have two votes. Click on the words to read the details, then vote your favorite.
Softenbark
Created by: petaj
Pronunciation: soff-n-bach
Sentence: Fideaux the puppy's awful barking would clash with his owner's piano practice. So he was off to the vet to softenbark.
Etymology: soften (make quieter) + bark (dog noise) + offenbach (musical composer)
Yelphelp
Created by: quippingqueen
Pronunciation: yelp/help
Sentence: The yodelling vet enthusiastically trilled on about how the yelphelp procedure was really quite simple - yank the yapping muscle once and for all.
Etymology: yelp + help
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COMMENTS:
Yonderful! - wordmeister, 2007-01-30: 12:39:00
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Barchotomy
Created by: Mustang
Pronunciation: bar-KOT-uh-mee
Sentence: After many sleepless nights and calls from angry neighbors Harriet took her pooch Herbie to the vet for a barchotomy which solved her problem but left Herbie perplexed at his wispering bark.
Etymology: Combination of bark (the abrupt, harsh, explosive cry of a dog) and dichotomy (from the Greek dichotomia (divided): dich- (form of dícha , in two, asunder); tomia- a combining form meaning cutting, incision, excision of an object)
Petpax
Created by: Stevenson0
Pronunciation: pet/pax
Sentence: Annoying pet-speak disturbing your home life? Welcome to the 21st century puppy-love solution!! Petpax, the new non-invasive (to you the owner) surgery, guarantees to reduce pet chatter by 95%. Pets will be silently happy the way they were meant to be. (WARNING: may attract intruders and wet spots on the carpet - no assembly necessary)
Etymology: pet + pax (peace)
Goldend
Created by: Buzzardbilly
Pronunciation: ˈgōl-dənd
Sentence: The vet goldend our dog, so we didn't get any warning barks when the burglars were coming.
Etymology: If silence is golden and you make something silent, wouldn't it be golden? Since the silence brings an end to the noise, wouldn't the procudure to rid the noisemaker of its noise-making abilities be a "gold end"? So, splicing "golden" and "end" makes "goldend."
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COMMENTS:
I have to add that the vet I used to work for refused to do the "de-barking" procedure (as they do call it) because the dogs still made noise and wore themselves out trying to bark. So, while my word fits the definition given, the procedure and its outcomes are at odds with the notion. - Buzzardbilly, 2009-08-31: 10:55:00
If it's cruel to "de-bark" a tree, how do our Canine-Americans feel about the procedure? - metrohumanx, 2009-09-01: 11:10:00
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Woofsterectomy
Created by: Bulletchewer
Pronunciation: wuff-ster-rect-o-mee
Sentence: Every dog has his day, and today, neighbourhood nuisance Rover was having a woofsterectomy.
Etymology: From "woof" meaning (dunno, don't speak dog)and "hysterectomy" meaning bye bye baby, baby goodbye....
Goldenize
Created by: artr
Pronunciation: gōldənīz
Sentence: When Ron saw an ad from his vet offering to goldenize his dog he was intrigued. Control his dog’s barking? That sounded great. When he found out that it involved cutting the vocal cords he was stunned.
Etymology: golden (very favorable) + ize (suffix forming verbs) because ”silence is golden”
Disemhowl
Created by: toadstool57
Pronunciation: dis-em-howl
Sentence: Spot started studying sign language after hearing his master tell the vet Spot need to be disemhowled.
Etymology: disembowel/howl
Snuffulated
Created by: paperhoard
Pronunciation: snuff-you-late
Sentence: After Sparky was vocally snuffulated I started yelling at the gerbil for squealing every time I touched the potato chip bag.
Etymology: Derived from the word SNUFF, to put a sudden end to.
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COMMENTS:
so cute though. - erasmus, 2007-01-30: 10:04:00
so cute though. This gets my vote but voting appears to be broken. - erasmus, 2007-01-30: 10:05:00
Thanks! - paperhoard, 2007-01-30: 11:50:00
also sounds like suffocated... Cute and scary! - wordmeister, 2007-01-30: 14:54:00
Oops - forgot about the "non-threatening" aspect of the word. The dog won't understand anyway! - paperhoard, 2007-01-30: 14:56:00
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Yappysnappy
Created by: Javeson1
Pronunciation: yap-pee-snap-pee
Sentence: In my opinion, almost every little dog deserves to undergo yappysnappy and give my nerves a rest....just for a while.....
Etymology: yappy (dogs) + snappy (cords)
Comments:
wordmeister - 2007-01-30: 12:00:00
Wow! Lot's of funny words today!
wordmeister - 2007-01-30: 12:19:00
Hey, I'm winning! Ooops, I'm the only player in this group...
Discoveria - 2007-01-30: 15:28:00
Some rather 'surgical' ones too...
wordmeister - 2007-01-30: 17:09:00
Yes, I suppose we have a lot of doctors who are contributing...
This happened to a dog in our neighborhood. The kids call him "Horace."
Nosila - 2009-08-31: 13:21:00
My friend's spaniel had his tail cut...so he's now called Bob!
artr2 - 2012-06-08: 06:42:00
Didn't play this round because I couldn't find the humor in this cruel, self-centered practice. ArtR2