Vote for the best verboticism.

'I'm getting my vocal cords tuned!'

DEFINITION: n. A non-threatening term to describe the procedure of cutting vocal cords on yappy dogs, which makes it sound like a good thing -- after all, they will never bark again. v. To remove the vocal chords.

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Verboticisms

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Barchotomy

Created by: Mustang

Pronunciation: bar-KOT-uh-mee

Sentence: After many sleepless nights and calls from angry neighbors Harriet took her pooch Herbie to the vet for a barchotomy which solved her problem but left Herbie perplexed at his wispering bark.

Etymology: Combination of bark (the abrupt, harsh, explosive cry of a dog) and dichotomy (from the Greek dichotomia (divided): dich- (form of dícha , in two, asunder); tomia- a combining form meaning cutting, incision, excision of an object)

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Barkover

Created by: w5lf9s

Pronunciation: bar.kover

Sentence: looks like his poodle finally got a barkover. I haven't heard him for days.

Etymology: bark, over

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Frogmentation

artr

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: frôgmentāshən

Sentence: When anybody asked, Rudy told people that had undergone a vocal frogmentation. He felt that it sounded less extreme and less selfish then having the vocal cords of his yappy little dog cut.

Etymology: Frog [in the throat] (Temporary hoarseness caused by phlegm in the back of the throat) + augmentation (improvement)

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Peticure

Created by: wordmeister

Pronunciation: pet-E-kUr

Sentence: Joan and Roger thought that their home would be a lot quieter once they gave Rover a peticure. And it was for a while... Unfortunately their daughter was quite upset, and out of sympathy for Rover refused to speak, answering all questions with a loud bark!

Etymology: pet+pedicure

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Yipectomy

Created by: ahwinters

Pronunciation: yip - eck - toe - me

Sentence: Fido was significantly less annoying after his yipectomy.

Etymology: Yip (sound) + ectomy (to cut out)

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Debarkle

Created by: rikboyee

Pronunciation: dee-bar-kul

Sentence: Ever since the debarkle he's been much quieter...but for some reason he won't stop crapping on my pillow..

Etymology: bark, debacle... and in a non-threatening way it sounds a bit like sparkle....don't ya think

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COMMENTS:

erasmus oh yes. This works. - erasmus, 2007-01-30: 04:14:00

Just on the basis of your sentence, you get my vote today. - chofu67, 2007-01-30: 12:48:00

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Woofediting

Created by: mweinmann

Pronunciation: wuf - edet - ting

Sentence: Sparky was excited to go for woofediting. He thought it meant that he would emerge with a smooth, silky voice that would fit with his image....as a "Dog About Town".

Etymology: woof, editing

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Petpax

Created by: Stevenson0

Pronunciation: pet/pax

Sentence: Annoying pet-speak disturbing your home life? Welcome to the 21st century puppy-love solution!! Petpax, the new non-invasive (to you the owner) surgery, guarantees to reduce pet chatter by 95%. Pets will be silently happy the way they were meant to be. (WARNING: may attract intruders and wet spots on the carpet - no assembly necessary)

Etymology: pet + pax (peace)

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Snuffulated

Created by: paperhoard

Pronunciation: snuff-you-late

Sentence: After Sparky was vocally snuffulated I started yelling at the gerbil for squealing every time I touched the potato chip bag.

Etymology: Derived from the word SNUFF, to put a sudden end to.

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COMMENTS:

erasmus so cute though. - erasmus, 2007-01-30: 10:04:00

erasmus so cute though. This gets my vote but voting appears to be broken. - erasmus, 2007-01-30: 10:05:00

Thanks! - paperhoard, 2007-01-30: 11:50:00

also sounds like suffocated... Cute and scary! - wordmeister, 2007-01-30: 14:54:00

Oops - forgot about the "non-threatening" aspect of the word. The dog won't understand anyway! - paperhoard, 2007-01-30: 14:56:00

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Goldend

Created by: Buzzardbilly

Pronunciation: ˈgōl-dənd

Sentence: The vet goldend our dog, so we didn't get any warning barks when the burglars were coming.

Etymology: If silence is golden and you make something silent, wouldn't it be golden? Since the silence brings an end to the noise, wouldn't the procudure to rid the noisemaker of its noise-making abilities be a "gold end"? So, splicing "golden" and "end" makes "goldend."

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COMMENTS:

I have to add that the vet I used to work for refused to do the "de-barking" procedure (as they do call it) because the dogs still made noise and wore themselves out trying to bark. So, while my word fits the definition given, the procedure and its outcomes are at odds with the notion. - Buzzardbilly, 2009-08-31: 10:55:00

metrohumanx If it's cruel to "de-bark" a tree, how do our Canine-Americans feel about the procedure? - metrohumanx, 2009-09-01: 11:10:00

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Comments:

wordmeister - 2007-01-30: 12:00:00
Wow! Lot's of funny words today!

wordmeister - 2007-01-30: 12:19:00
Hey, I'm winning! Ooops, I'm the only player in this group...

Discoveria - 2007-01-30: 15:28:00
Some rather 'surgical' ones too...

wordmeister - 2007-01-30: 17:09:00
Yes, I suppose we have a lot of doctors who are contributing...

mrskellyscl mrskellyscl - 2009-08-31: 08:07:00
This happened to a dog in our neighborhood. The kids call him "Horace."

Nosila - 2009-08-31: 13:21:00
My friend's spaniel had his tail cut...so he's now called Bob!

artr2 - 2012-06-08: 06:42:00
Didn't play this round because I couldn't find the humor in this cruel, self-centered practice. ArtR2