Vote for the best verboticism.

'I'm getting my vocal cords tuned!'

DEFINITION: n. A non-threatening term to describe the procedure of cutting vocal cords on yappy dogs, which makes it sound like a good thing -- after all, they will never bark again. v. To remove the vocal chords.

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Verboticisms

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Camime

Created by: purpleartichokes

Pronunciation: KAY-mime

Sentence: Rover's yapping at the lint that had collected in Bob's navel was the deciding factor in him ultimately getting camimed.

Etymology: canine, mime (as in a mute actor)

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COMMENTS:

Much smarter and more original than "shushpuppy". Good stuff! - Bulletchewer, 2007-01-30: 19:37:00

Thank you Bulletchewer! - purpleartichokes, 2007-01-31: 04:11:00

I tried and tried to think of a word with mime - good work - Jabberwocky, 2007-01-31: 09:16:00

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Petpax

Created by: Stevenson0

Pronunciation: pet/pax

Sentence: Annoying pet-speak disturbing your home life? Welcome to the 21st century puppy-love solution!! Petpax, the new non-invasive (to you the owner) surgery, guarantees to reduce pet chatter by 95%. Pets will be silently happy the way they were meant to be. (WARNING: may attract intruders and wet spots on the carpet - no assembly necessary)

Etymology: pet + pax (peace)

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Dogcilise

Created by: Discoveria

Pronunciation: Dorg-sill-lies

Sentence: Are you tired of hearing that ceaseless yapping? Do you constantly wear earplugs? Then why not dogcilise young Rover? Swift and painless dogcilising facilities only at Golden Silences Vet Practice.

Etymology: Dog + docile: docile meaning quiet, meek. Also suggests 'sterilise'.

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Barkless

Created by: josje

Pronunciation: barkless

Sentence: doing this it leaves your dog barkless

Etymology: barking and less

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Vooting

Created by: lilty4422

Pronunciation: voo-tang

Sentence: mY DOGS KEPT BARKING SO I STARTED VOTTING THIER THEM TO SHUT THEM UP!!

Etymology:

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Yapendectomy

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: yap pen dek toe mee

Sentence: Fifi was so excited. She loved going in the car with her "Mommy". A car ride meant a run in the off-leash park or a free dog cone from Dairy Queen. Today Mommy had told her she was going to get a yapendectomy...she was so excited she barked all the way there. When they pulled up to the building, Fifi realized it was the same place where her brother Rover had gone when he had gotten tutored!

Etymology: Yap (bark in a high-pitched tone)& Appendectomy (surgical removal of the vermiform appendix)

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COMMENTS:

artr Great, now my kid won\'t go to his tutor! - artr, 2009-08-31: 06:33:00

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Yapotomy

CharlieB

Created by: CharlieB

Pronunciation: yap-o-tə-mi

Sentence: After a week of mournful looks and silence from Fido, Mrs Smythe strongly suspected her neighbour had kidnapped the poor pooch in the night and performed a yapotomy.

Etymology: yap (of a small dog – to bark constantly) + -tomy (surgical incision)

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COMMENTS:

rough - galwaywegian, 2011-01-18: 10:14:00

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Voxtration

Created by: johnnyrockett

Pronunciation: Va-ks-tray-shion

Sentence: I took Fido to the vet so he could voxtrate him. He hasn't said a word since.

Etymology: Vox - Latin for voice traiton - as in castration

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Marceauing

Created by: maxxy

Pronunciation: mar-SEW-ing

Sentence: Fluffy was a little hesitant -- he remembered how he he had thought "neutering" meant he'd get his own private fetch instructor -- but, still, the prospect of being marceaued just sounded so elegant.

Etymology: From Marcel Marceau, world-famous mime

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COMMENTS:

Clever! - wordmeister, 2007-01-30: 11:38:00

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Kittifying

Created by: allwise

Pronunciation: kit-i-fy-ing

Sentence: -"Hey little doggie, it's time to get you kittified!, yes it is," (cuddle, cuddle) "who's daddy's little cutie?!" (more cuddle cuddle)

Etymology: kittify - to make more catlike and cute

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Frogmentation

artr

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: frôgmentāshən

Sentence: When anybody asked, Rudy told people that had undergone a vocal frogmentation. He felt that it sounded less extreme and less selfish then having the vocal cords of his yappy little dog cut.

Etymology: Frog [in the throat] (Temporary hoarseness caused by phlegm in the back of the throat) + augmentation (improvement)

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Unchordinate

jonzerofourteen

Created by: jonzerofourteen

Pronunciation: un kord in ayt

Sentence: Puddles, next door, was a quiet dog since the operation. Jeff secretly wished somebody would unchordinate its owner in a similar manner.

Etymology: un (to negate) + chord (as in vocal chord) + ate (to cause or to act upon)

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Puppyhush

Created by: ErWenn

Pronunciation: /'p&-pE-"h&sh/

Sentence: I hope that the Puppyhush(TM) procedure is only an urban legend because it'd be a pretty sick solution if it existed.

Etymology: From puppy + hush, reminiscent of "hush puppy."

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COMMENTS:

I take it you're not in favour of this procedure... - wordmeister, 2007-01-30: 01:34:00

Sounds pretty dreadful to me. I am in favor of fixing the annoying little buggers so that they don't breed, however. - ErWenn, 2007-01-30: 08:53:00

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Goldend

Created by: Buzzardbilly

Pronunciation: ˈgōl-dənd

Sentence: The vet goldend our dog, so we didn't get any warning barks when the burglars were coming.

Etymology: If silence is golden and you make something silent, wouldn't it be golden? Since the silence brings an end to the noise, wouldn't the procudure to rid the noisemaker of its noise-making abilities be a "gold end"? So, splicing "golden" and "end" makes "goldend."

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COMMENTS:

I have to add that the vet I used to work for refused to do the "de-barking" procedure (as they do call it) because the dogs still made noise and wore themselves out trying to bark. So, while my word fits the definition given, the procedure and its outcomes are at odds with the notion. - Buzzardbilly, 2009-08-31: 10:55:00

metrohumanx If it's cruel to "de-bark" a tree, how do our Canine-Americans feel about the procedure? - metrohumanx, 2009-09-01: 11:10:00

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Snuffulated

Created by: paperhoard

Pronunciation: snuff-you-late

Sentence: After Sparky was vocally snuffulated I started yelling at the gerbil for squealing every time I touched the potato chip bag.

Etymology: Derived from the word SNUFF, to put a sudden end to.

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COMMENTS:

erasmus so cute though. - erasmus, 2007-01-30: 10:04:00

erasmus so cute though. This gets my vote but voting appears to be broken. - erasmus, 2007-01-30: 10:05:00

Thanks! - paperhoard, 2007-01-30: 11:50:00

also sounds like suffocated... Cute and scary! - wordmeister, 2007-01-30: 14:54:00

Oops - forgot about the "non-threatening" aspect of the word. The dog won't understand anyway! - paperhoard, 2007-01-30: 14:56:00

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Peticure

Created by: wordmeister

Pronunciation: pet-E-kUr

Sentence: Joan and Roger thought that their home would be a lot quieter once they gave Rover a peticure. And it was for a while... Unfortunately their daughter was quite upset, and out of sympathy for Rover refused to speak, answering all questions with a loud bark!

Etymology: pet+pedicure

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Yipectomy

Created by: ahwinters

Pronunciation: yip - eck - toe - me

Sentence: Fido was significantly less annoying after his yipectomy.

Etymology: Yip (sound) + ectomy (to cut out)

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Shushpuppy

Created by: Jabberwocky

Pronunciation: shush/pup/pee

Sentence: Shushpuppy is a humane procedure that will enable your dog to accompany you anywhere without being a nuisance - he would thank you for it (if he could)

Etymology: shush (to silence)+ hushpuppy

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COMMENTS:

Sorry Jabberwocky, I did not realize that after my entry triggered a "Join shushpuppy group" I would be listed for the same submittal you had already entered. I expected to be able to try to enter another word. - chofu67, 2007-01-30: 11:11:00

no problem chofus67 - We probably thought of it at the same time - I wonder if that means we can vote for each other... - Jabberwocky, 2007-01-30: 11:21:00

Verbotomy Hey Chofu67 and Jabberwocky, Great minds think alike! Nevertheless, I was thinking of removing the "join group" function. What do you think? - Verbotomy, 2007-01-30: 11:35:00

It's fine with me either way - from Chofu67's comment, it sounds as if it was accidental anyway. It may happen though that a group decides to put in a word together and would appreciate the option - Jabberwocky, 2007-01-30: 12:05:00

Now that I know what "join group" means, I probably won't use that function again, so it could stay or go. - chofu67, 2007-01-30: 12:44:00

Looks like you guys had roughly the same idea I did. - ErWenn, 2007-01-30: 20:58:00

I think it was the picture - it reminded me of the old hush puppy commercials - Jabberwocky, 2007-01-31: 08:42:00

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Barkmuffle

Created by: jedijawa

Pronunciation: bark-muff-el

Sentence: Fido had a barkmuffle performed so he won't have to worry about barking anymore.

Etymology: bark + muffle

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Larynicks

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: lari nix

Sentence: Fred had a smart, but yappy dog called Larry. So when Fred wanted to talk in front of Larry, he used pig-latin (or as he called it dog-latin). Fred told his wife he was taking Larry in the ar-cay to the eterinarian-vay, to ix-nay his larynicks and to have him eutered-nay. Poor Larry, after the operation, he lost his mojo and couldn''t tell anyone about it!

Etymology: Larynx (a cartilaginous structure at the top of the trachea; contains elastic vocal cords that are the source of the vocal tone in speech) & Nicks (cuts;cut slightly, with a razor)

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COMMENTS:

rebarkable - galwaywegian, 2011-01-18: 10:15:00

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Yiposuction

erasmus

Created by: erasmus

Pronunciation: yip o suck shon

Sentence: Terry the terrier had yiposuction to stop him singing along to phil collins tracks and cracking the panes in next doors greenhouse

Etymology: from yip as in yip yap dog noises and suction, like liposuction.

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Barkectomy

Created by: BMott

Pronunciation: bark-ek-to-me

Sentence: We took Yappi for a barkectomy after the neighbors complained about how noisy he was.

Etymology: Bark - The noise a dog makes. Ectomy - Removal of.

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Disembarking

Created by: galwaywegian

Pronunciation:

Sentence: shep is much quieter sinc being disembarked, but every now and then he gets a rather worrying look on his face...

Etymology:

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COMMENTS:

very funny!! - Jabberwocky, 2007-01-31: 12:32:00

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Shushpuppy

Created by: chofu67

Pronunciation: shush/pup/pee

Sentence: Shushpuppy is a humane procedure that will enable your dog to accompany you anywhere without being a nuisance - he would thank you for it (if he could)

Etymology: shush (to silence)+ hushpuppy

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COMMENTS:

Sorry Jabberwocky, I did not realize that after my entry triggered a "Join shushpuppy group" I would be listed for the same submittal you had already entered. I expected to be able to try to enter another word. - chofu67, 2007-01-30: 11:11:00

no problem chofus67 - We probably thought of it at the same time - I wonder if that means we can vote for each other... - Jabberwocky, 2007-01-30: 11:21:00

Verbotomy Hey Chofu67 and Jabberwocky, Great minds think alike! Nevertheless, I was thinking of removing the "join group" function. What do you think? - Verbotomy, 2007-01-30: 11:35:00

It's fine with me either way - from Chofu67's comment, it sounds as if it was accidental anyway. It may happen though that a group decides to put in a word together and would appreciate the option - Jabberwocky, 2007-01-30: 12:05:00

Now that I know what "join group" means, I probably won't use that function again, so it could stay or go. - chofu67, 2007-01-30: 12:44:00

Looks like you guys had roughly the same idea I did. - ErWenn, 2007-01-30: 20:58:00

I think it was the picture - it reminded me of the old hush puppy commercials - Jabberwocky, 2007-01-31: 08:42:00

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Bartunist

Created by: adbern

Pronunciation: bar-tu-nist

Sentence: That dog barkes ugly, it need fast a bartunist

Etymology: bar from bark, tu =tune, ist from install= barktune install

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Yappysnappy

Created by: Javeson1

Pronunciation: yap-pee-snap-pee

Sentence: In my opinion, almost every little dog deserves to undergo yappysnappy and give my nerves a rest....just for a while.....

Etymology: yappy (dogs) + snappy (cords)

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Woofsterectomy

Created by: Bulletchewer

Pronunciation: wuff-ster-rect-o-mee

Sentence: Every dog has his day, and today, neighbourhood nuisance Rover was having a woofsterectomy.

Etymology: From "woof" meaning (dunno, don't speak dog)and "hysterectomy" meaning bye bye baby, baby goodbye....

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Barkliptoyapatall

metrohumanx

Created by: metrohumanx

Pronunciation: bar-CLIP-too-YAPP-at-all

Sentence: Tom had his cat de-clawed, his bird's wings clipped, his stallion gelded and his wife's feet bound. A legendary humanitarian, he had his beloved pooch submit to a painless BARKLIPTOYAPATALL operation in lieu of puncturing his own eardrumas with a shish-kabob skewer.

Etymology: bark+ clip+ to+ yap+ at+ all :)

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COMMENTS:

Welcome back, metro...it's been ruff, ruff without you! - Nosila, 2009-08-31: 13:19:00

metrohumanx Merci! - metrohumanx, 2009-09-01: 11:08:00

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Yippysnippy

mrskellyscl

Created by: mrskellyscl

Pronunciation: yip-py-snip-py

Sentence: Owner: "Peanut, your incessant barking has kept me from sleep too often. It's time to go to the vet and see what can be done." Peanut: "Yippysnippy"

Etymology: wordplay on Yippy-Skippy -- a sarcastic answer to anything you have to do or something that doesn't sound fun. Also can be used when you don't give a damn about something and want to use sarcasm (Urban dictionary). Yip: the shrill bark of a small dog + Snip: to sever with a small cut or incision

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COMMENTS:

Skippy peanut butter... - Nosila, 2009-08-31: 13:23:00

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Euphemutem

whimsy

Created by: whimsy

Pronunciation:

Sentence: The euphemutem the vet used for the procedure calmed him down, at least for the couple of moments before the vet returned with various sharp instruments.

Etymology: euphemism + mute + them (mute'em)

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Wooferectomy

Created by: MinoriMicino

Pronunciation:

Sentence:

Etymology:

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Vocaleskapi

Created by: ninjakane

Pronunciation: Vo-cal-esk-a-pea

Sentence: This dog needs a vocaleskapi stat!

Etymology: Australian

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Muttmute

Created by: sodium

Pronunciation: mutt-myoot

Sentence: Because she kept scaring the neighbor kids, Ursula was taken to the vet to undergo a muttmute.

Etymology: mutt + mute

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Barchotomy

Created by: Mustang

Pronunciation: bar-KOT-uh-mee

Sentence: After many sleepless nights and calls from angry neighbors Harriet took her pooch Herbie to the vet for a barchotomy which solved her problem but left Herbie perplexed at his wispering bark.

Etymology: Combination of bark (the abrupt, harsh, explosive cry of a dog) and dichotomy (from the Greek dichotomia (divided): dich- (form of dícha , in two, asunder); tomia- a combining form meaning cutting, incision, excision of an object)

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Barkover

Created by: w5lf9s

Pronunciation: bar.kover

Sentence: looks like his poodle finally got a barkover. I haven't heard him for days.

Etymology: bark, over

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Yelphelp

Created by: quippingqueen

Pronunciation: yelp/help

Sentence: The yodelling vet enthusiastically trilled on about how the yelphelp procedure was really quite simple - yank the yapping muscle once and for all.

Etymology: yelp + help

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COMMENTS:

Yonderful! - wordmeister, 2007-01-30: 12:39:00

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Disemhowl

Created by: toadstool57

Pronunciation: dis-em-howl

Sentence: Spot started studying sign language after hearing his master tell the vet Spot need to be disemhowled.

Etymology: disembowel/howl

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Yippeesiotomy

Created by: Osomatic

Pronunciation: yip-eeze-ee-ought-uh-me

Sentence: I'm paying for my neighbor's dog to get a yippeesiotomy, I figure it's worth it just to get some sleep.

Etymology: yip + yippee + episiotomy

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COMMENTS:

I know it's not exactly non-threatening, but I couldn't resist! - Osomatic, 2007-01-30: 01:31:00

It's great! The "yipi" part makes it sound very positive. - wordmeister, 2007-01-30: 01:33:00

Thanks, wordmeister! I almost spelled it "yippeesiotomy." In fact, maybe I still should... - Osomatic, 2007-01-30: 01:38:00

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Softenbark

petaj

Created by: petaj

Pronunciation: soff-n-bach

Sentence: Fideaux the puppy's awful barking would clash with his owner's piano practice. So he was off to the vet to softenbark.

Etymology: soften (make quieter) + bark (dog noise) + offenbach (musical composer)

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Yapectomy

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: yap ek tomee

Sentence: See Spot run. See Spot bark. Se Spot bark once too often, at anything. See Dick & Jane take Spot to Doctor Pepper for a yapectomy. See Spot run again. No see Spot bark again. See Dick & Jane get no more noise infraction tickets!

Etymology: Yap (yelp, bark) & Ectomy (removal, surgical excision of a part)

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Debarkle

Created by: rikboyee

Pronunciation: dee-bar-kul

Sentence: Ever since the debarkle he's been much quieter...but for some reason he won't stop crapping on my pillow..

Etymology: bark, debacle... and in a non-threatening way it sounds a bit like sparkle....don't ya think

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COMMENTS:

erasmus oh yes. This works. - erasmus, 2007-01-30: 04:14:00

Just on the basis of your sentence, you get my vote today. - chofu67, 2007-01-30: 12:48:00

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Shutupredure

Created by: pandafever

Pronunciation: shut-up-preedur

Sentence: Thanks to Yoda's shutupredure, Elaine is no longer going to be evicted.

Etymology:

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Disembowow

Created by: galwaywegian

Pronunciation: diss em bou ou

Sentence: when barkley was disembowowed he felt like disembarking from the ship of life

Etymology: disembowel bow ow

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Yappytahappy

Created by: ekath

Pronunciation: yappy-tuh-happy

Sentence: After Fluffy's yappytahappy, the neighbors brought me homemade cookies

Etymology: yappy to happy

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Woofediting

Created by: mweinmann

Pronunciation: wuf - edet - ting

Sentence: Sparky was excited to go for woofediting. He thought it meant that he would emerge with a smooth, silky voice that would fit with his image....as a "Dog About Town".

Etymology: woof, editing

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Goldenize

artr

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: gōldənīz

Sentence: When Ron saw an ad from his vet offering to goldenize his dog he was intrigued. Control his dog’s barking? That sounded great. When he found out that it involved cutting the vocal cords he was stunned.

Etymology: golden (very favorable) + ize (suffix forming verbs) because ”silence is golden”

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Comments:

wordmeister - 2007-01-30: 12:00:00
Wow! Lot's of funny words today!

wordmeister - 2007-01-30: 12:19:00
Hey, I'm winning! Ooops, I'm the only player in this group...

Discoveria - 2007-01-30: 15:28:00
Some rather 'surgical' ones too...

wordmeister - 2007-01-30: 17:09:00
Yes, I suppose we have a lot of doctors who are contributing...

mrskellyscl mrskellyscl - 2009-08-31: 08:07:00
This happened to a dog in our neighborhood. The kids call him "Horace."

Nosila - 2009-08-31: 13:21:00
My friend's spaniel had his tail cut...so he's now called Bob!

artr2 - 2012-06-08: 06:42:00
Didn't play this round because I couldn't find the humor in this cruel, self-centered practice. ArtR2