Vote for the best verboticism.
DEFINITION: v. What boyfriends and husbands do while they are waiting their girlfriends and/or wives to shop. n. A person doing such a thing.
Verboticisms
Click on each verboticism to read the sentences created by the Verbotomy writers, and to see your voting options...
You have two votes. Click on the words to read the details, then vote your favorite.
Slowmad
Created by: artr
Pronunciation: SLO-mad
Sentence: As Tom wandered from store to store waiting for his wife to finish her shopping he became just one more slowmad, looking over each item as if he really cared, fending off sales clerks with the slowmad's mantra "Just looking". He also knew that this activity was slowly driving him stark-raving mad. He could feel his sanity slipping away with each step he took. The last thing he wanted to become was a husbutt-parker — those old men who take up every inch of available bench space vacantly staring into space while a mound of packages accumulates at their feet.
Etymology: Slow (Very not fast) + nomad (a desert wanderer)
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COMMENTS:
RIGHT ON! Great sentence, artr. - metrohumanx, 2008-08-28: 03:03:00
Slowmad reminds me of Strongbad.
http://www.homestarrunner.com/sbemail.html - metrohumanx, 2008-08-28: 03:38:00
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Liearound
Created by: astorey
Pronunciation: lye-a-round
Sentence: Tom didn't know why Mindy was so eager for his validation when she was buying clothes, but he had long since become accustomed to his role...he needed to liearound the dressing room, saying encouraging--though not completely honest-- things things like "No you're butt doesn't look fat" or "I don't think that black dress looks too much like your other black dress."
Etymology: lie in two senses--to not tell the truth and to lounge; around in the sense of either prevaricating or lounging in proximity to the shopping.
Windowschlump
Created by: Mustang
Pronunciation: win - doe - shlump
Sentence: Whenever Minnie would involve herself shopping she did so in a dedicated fashion that left Monty to manage for himself and he would always windowschlump, mindlessly wandrering from store to store looking at the displays.
Etymology: Blend of 'window' and 'schlump' (to loaf or idle)
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COMMENTS:
I've seen a clump of WINDOWSCHLUMPS, and shuffled right along. - metrohumanx, 2008-08-27: 00:54:00
very descriptive - Jabberwocky, 2008-08-27: 16:03:00
Ah, Metrohx: you better tell Monty where the store with the 'semi erotic mannequins' is situated. - OZZIEBOB, 2008-08-28: 01:05:00
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Masterwait
Created by: Stevenson0
Pronunciation: mas/ter/weyt
Sentence: To keep her happy, he goes along shopping and will masterwait patiently while she tries on every pair of shoes in the store.
Etymology: master (of course she is this) + wait
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COMMENTS:
Oh geez, I just now "got it"! Funny! - purpleartichokes, 2007-09-26: 11:55:00
Ah you beat me to it!! >:) Voting now. - joelb, 2007-09-26: 21:55:00
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Mallschlump
Created by: Mustang
Pronunciation: mawl-shlump
Sentence: While most men might get fidgety when their wives browse thru the stores, Marty takes great delight in an opportunity to just mallschlump, wherein he'll cruise around from business to business checking out babes, window displays and oddball people.
Etymology: blend of words 'mall' (n. large retail complex containing a variety of stores and often restaurants ) and 'schlump' (v. to loaf or idle)
Anticapprasion
Created by: SethelMerman
Pronunciation: An-tiss-uh-pray-shun
Sentence: Thinking of his credit card bill and the countless bags from Macy's, passed the time during his anticappraision.
Etymology: From (anticipation: in waiting) + (appraise: judge value)
Shoperfunctorate
Created by: OZZIEBOB
Pronunciation: shop-pur-FUNKSHO-rate
Sentence: Bob is not an optimist, he never double parks while Roxie is shopping. All he hopes for, as he shoperfunctorates, is that Roxie's feet will start to hurt before his wallet does. And when she's seriously shoprocrasty, he never ridicules her or becomes boutique-piqued, but remains mart-smart even when she tries on a dozen dresses and an imelda of shoes.
Etymology: Blend of shop & perfunctorate: done merely to get rid of the duty, performed mechanically, by rote, superficially. Cognates: Shoperfunctory, Shoperfunctoriness.
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COMMENTS:
I love boutique-piqued and the imelda of shoes - Jabberwocky, 2007-09-26: 10:46:00
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Gapetient
Created by: readerwriter
Pronunciation: gape.shunt
Sentence: Willard knew the routine as a practiced gapetient: wait outside the dressing rooms, holding the clothes his wife couldn't take in. After she had tried on all her selected items (several trips back and forth), pinched her cellulite while staring into the mirrors until she was bruised, she would appear and say there wasn't a thing she could use. Yes, he had suffered all these years with great gapetience. All this because he had thought she was the cutest car hop at Bob's Big Boy in Glendale in 1963.
Etymology: combination of gape, to stare with mouth open wide + patient, uncomplaining endurace or as well, a person undergoing treatment for disease!
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COMMENTS:
Beautiful writing...and hilarious.Thanks RW - metrohumanx, 2008-08-28: 03:29:00
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Mallinger
Created by: kabloozie
Pronunciation: Mahl-LING-er
Sentence: Two hours after the Wife entered Old Navy, Bob was seen in the food court, mallingering on the cement bench with an empty bag of Cinnabons.
Etymology: Mall: a large retail complex with no hardware stores. Linger: to pass time in a tedious manner.
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COMMENTS:
wow. my first verboticism....sniff. - kabloozie, 2007-09-26: 02:26:00
It's a good one too. No auto parts stores in a Mall either. - petaj, 2007-09-26: 04:44:00
good start! - galwaywegian, 2007-09-26: 07:22:00
wow - what a debut!! - Jabberwocky, 2007-09-26: 10:42:00
Perhaps Bob should have lingered in lingerie boutique. Might not have been so teduous for him ! Good start:good word. - OZZIEBOB, 2007-09-26: 18:44:00
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Comments:
Today's definition was suggested by kabloozie. Thank you kabloozie! ~ James
Can't you be arrested for MASTERWAITING in public?
galwaywegian - 2008-08-27: 05:56:00
Or masterbaiting at college
Today's definition was suggested by kabloozie. Thank you kabloozie. ~ James