Vote for the best verboticism.

'I guess I'll do a little window shopping...'

DEFINITION: v. What boyfriends and husbands do while they are waiting their girlfriends and/or wives to shop. n. A person doing such a thing.

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Verboticisms

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Gapetient

Created by: readerwriter

Pronunciation: gape.shunt

Sentence: Willard knew the routine as a practiced gapetient: wait outside the dressing rooms, holding the clothes his wife couldn't take in. After she had tried on all her selected items (several trips back and forth), pinched her cellulite while staring into the mirrors until she was bruised, she would appear and say there wasn't a thing she could use. Yes, he had suffered all these years with great gapetience. All this because he had thought she was the cutest car hop at Bob's Big Boy in Glendale in 1963.

Etymology: combination of gape, to stare with mouth open wide + patient, uncomplaining endurace or as well, a person undergoing treatment for disease!

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COMMENTS:

metrohumanx Beautiful writing...and hilarious.Thanks RW - metrohumanx, 2008-08-28: 03:29:00

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Guybrowse

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: gye browz

Sentence: Most men hate shopping and even worse hate waiting while someone they are with shops. Mark was no exception and when his wife Lana dragged him to the store to wait for her to try on some new fashions, he took that waiting opportunity to guybrowse in other departments. When Lana finished shopping in a department store, armed with lots of bags and boxes, she then would waste half an hour looking for Mark. Invariably she'd find him sampling free food; catching up on the latest thought-provoking articles in Playboy Magazine; watching a big screen TV football game or trying out the latest Lazyboy recliner. She often wished that the stores would smarten up and copy an idea of Harrod's. They had a lounge area similar to a gentleman's club, with comfy wingback chairs set in a room with television and newspapers, serving cold ale to waiting guybrows. It was like a nursery for men.

Etymology: Guy (male;an informal term for a youth or man) & Browse (look around casually and randomly, without seeking anything in particular;shop around; not necessarily buying) & rhyming with: Eyebrows (the arch of hair above each eye...when raised it acts as an unspoken question (Are you really buying that?)

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COMMENTS:

metrohumanx You never let us down, Nosila. Mark had a lot of nerve- I would NEVER break with protocol and drft away from the store entrance... - metrohumanx, 2008-08-27: 00:58:00

funny - Jabberwocky, 2008-08-27: 16:05:00

How true. It takes years of practice to become a champion guybrowser. - OZZIEBOB, 2008-08-28: 00:53:00

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Mallbearer

Created by: OZZIEBOB

Pronunciation: pawl-BAIR-uhr

Sentence: Bob confessed to friends that he would rather go to a funeral than be a mallbearer on one of Roxie's shopping trips.

Etymology: Blend of MALL: (as in shopping mall)mercantile establishment consisting of a carefully landscaped complex of shops representing leading merchandisers; & PALLBEARER: One of those who attend the coffin at a funeral; so called from the pall being formerly carried by them; PALL: lose interest or become bored with something or somebody; grim, gloomy, foreboding.

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COMMENTS:

excellent - Jabberwocky, 2008-08-27: 16:04:00

Ah, death by debit, all sales final, slashed prices, coffin up more cash...Debt of a Salesman! - Nosila, 2008-08-28: 01:38:00

metrohumanx Bravo! More! More! - metrohumanx, 2008-08-28: 03:35:00

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Spreeander

Created by: ScrabbledEgg

Pronunciation: spree-an-durr

Sentence: Spreeandering about the mall for hours while Sandy tried on countless pairs of jeans left Jack barely coherent, and hungry. When he saw his honey finally emerge from her umpteenth dressing room, he grunted something about "done yet" and "food court" - much to her annoyance. "Geez, Jack, don't be such a Spreeanderthal" she retailiated (retail + retaliate), handing him the most expensive pair she had found.

Etymology: (shopping) spree + meander

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COMMENTS:

petaj Is that when he went off in perch haste? - petaj, 2007-09-26: 04:47:00

At the end of a shopping spree a woman is tired as well as spent. Nice blend. - OZZIEBOB, 2007-09-26: 18:47:00

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Masterwait

Created by: Stevenson0

Pronunciation: mas/ter/weyt

Sentence: To keep her happy, he goes along shopping and will masterwait patiently while she tries on every pair of shoes in the store.

Etymology: master (of course she is this) + wait

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COMMENTS:

Oh geez, I just now "got it"! Funny! - purpleartichokes, 2007-09-26: 11:55:00

joelb Ah you beat me to it!! >:) Voting now. - joelb, 2007-09-26: 21:55:00

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Manshopause

MrDave2176

Created by: MrDave2176

Pronunciation: man-SHOW-pause

Sentence: William casually browsed through the spring fashions trying to look manly while taking a manshopause holding his wife's purse as she tried on the new dresses.

Etymology: Man+ shop + (meno)pause

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COMMENTS:

very nice - cfinleyca, 2007-09-26: 17:22:00

Funny stuff! - cfinleyca, 2007-09-26: 19:30:00

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Shopitulate

Created by: eulogy

Pronunciation: shah-pit-you-late

Sentence: I can't go golfing.. I already promised the wife I'd go shopitulate at the mall with her this afternoon.

Etymology: Combination of "shop" and "capitulate" which is pretty much what happens. You know what I'm talking about.

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COMMENTS:

Nice one - cfinleyca, 2007-09-26: 17:38:00

Greater love has no man than that he give up his golf for his wife! Good word - OZZIEBOB, 2007-09-26: 18:49:00

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Clothesualty

Created by: BSqueeze4

Pronunciation: Clothes-soo-all-tee

Sentence: After seeing the man sitting outside the dressing room with eight shirts in his hands, I knew he was a total clothesualty.

Etymology: Clothes+casualty

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Parcelmoany

Created by: bookowl

Pronunciation: par/sell/moany

Sentence: Parcelmoany is a state of extreme vexation when one is loaded down with expensive items he can't afford.

Etymology: parcel + parsimony (extreme econmoy) + moan

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COMMENTS:

metrohumanx Parcelmoany is inspired. I'd like to read more about the affliction. - metrohumanx, 2008-08-28: 03:08:00

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Chickpick

Created by: purpleartichokes

Pronunciation: chik-pik

Sentence: While Sue was in the dressing room, Bob bided his time with a chickpick session. The first object of his scrutiny was slightly plump, but had nice hair. The second had a nice body, but egad, that eye brow ring had to go! The third had it all going for her, except for the fact that she talked through her nose. The fourth...

Etymology: nit pick, chick

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COMMENTS:

petaj a chick picnic - petaj, 2007-09-26: 04:45:00

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Comments:

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2007-09-26: 00:01:00
Today's definition was suggested by kabloozie. Thank you kabloozie! ~ James

metrohumanx metrohumanx - 2008-08-27: 00:50:00
Can't you be arrested for MASTERWAITING in public?

galwaywegian - 2008-08-27: 05:56:00
Or masterbaiting at college

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2011-06-08: 00:16:00
Today's definition was suggested by kabloozie. Thank you kabloozie. ~ James