Vote for the best verboticism.
DEFINITION: v. What boyfriends and husbands do while they are waiting their girlfriends and/or wives to shop. n. A person doing such a thing.
Verboticisms
Click on each verboticism to read the sentences created by the Verbotomy writers, and to see your voting options...
You have two votes. Click on the words to read the details, then vote your favorite.
Mallbearer
Created by: OZZIEBOB
Pronunciation: pawl-BAIR-uhr
Sentence: Bob confessed to friends that he would rather go to a funeral than be a mallbearer on one of Roxie's shopping trips.
Etymology: Blend of MALL: (as in shopping mall)mercantile establishment consisting of a carefully landscaped complex of shops representing leading merchandisers; & PALLBEARER: One of those who attend the coffin at a funeral; so called from the pall being formerly carried by them; PALL: lose interest or become bored with something or somebody; grim, gloomy, foreboding.
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COMMENTS:
excellent - Jabberwocky, 2008-08-27: 16:04:00
Ah, death by debit, all sales final, slashed prices, coffin up more cash...Debt of a Salesman! - Nosila, 2008-08-28: 01:38:00
Bravo! More! More! - metrohumanx, 2008-08-28: 03:35:00
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Guybrowse
Created by: Nosila
Pronunciation: gye browz
Sentence: Most men hate shopping and even worse hate waiting while someone they are with shops. Mark was no exception and when his wife Lana dragged him to the store to wait for her to try on some new fashions, he took that waiting opportunity to guybrowse in other departments. When Lana finished shopping in a department store, armed with lots of bags and boxes, she then would waste half an hour looking for Mark. Invariably she'd find him sampling free food; catching up on the latest thought-provoking articles in Playboy Magazine; watching a big screen TV football game or trying out the latest Lazyboy recliner. She often wished that the stores would smarten up and copy an idea of Harrod's. They had a lounge area similar to a gentleman's club, with comfy wingback chairs set in a room with television and newspapers, serving cold ale to waiting guybrows. It was like a nursery for men.
Etymology: Guy (male;an informal term for a youth or man) & Browse (look around casually and randomly, without seeking anything in particular;shop around; not necessarily buying) & rhyming with: Eyebrows (the arch of hair above each eye...when raised it acts as an unspoken question (Are you really buying that?)
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COMMENTS:
You never let us down, Nosila. Mark had a lot of nerve- I would NEVER break with protocol and drft away from the store entrance... - metrohumanx, 2008-08-27: 00:58:00
funny - Jabberwocky, 2008-08-27: 16:05:00
How true. It takes years of practice to become a champion guybrowser. - OZZIEBOB, 2008-08-28: 00:53:00
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Manshopause
Created by: MrDave2176
Pronunciation: man-SHOW-pause
Sentence: William casually browsed through the spring fashions trying to look manly while taking a manshopause holding his wife's purse as she tried on the new dresses.
Etymology: Man+ shop + (meno)pause
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COMMENTS:
very nice - cfinleyca, 2007-09-26: 17:22:00
Funny stuff! - cfinleyca, 2007-09-26: 19:30:00
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Gapetient
Created by: readerwriter
Pronunciation: gape.shunt
Sentence: Willard knew the routine as a practiced gapetient: wait outside the dressing rooms, holding the clothes his wife couldn't take in. After she had tried on all her selected items (several trips back and forth), pinched her cellulite while staring into the mirrors until she was bruised, she would appear and say there wasn't a thing she could use. Yes, he had suffered all these years with great gapetience. All this because he had thought she was the cutest car hop at Bob's Big Boy in Glendale in 1963.
Etymology: combination of gape, to stare with mouth open wide + patient, uncomplaining endurace or as well, a person undergoing treatment for disease!
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COMMENTS:
Beautiful writing...and hilarious.Thanks RW - metrohumanx, 2008-08-28: 03:29:00
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Vapidrift
Created by: metrohumanx
Pronunciation: VAY-pih-DRIFT
Sentence: Lawrence could not bring himself to follow his wife into the Aromabody Boutique, even to dampen her urge to spend,spend, spend. Instead , he chose voluntary exile to the mallhall, where he would VAPIDRIFT with the herd of patient husbandry, a hundred-meter stare in his glazed eyes. Teen girls, ancient immigrants and momshoppers piloting triple tandem strollers jockeyed around him as he waited for the prized seat on a hard plastic bench. Time stretched to infinity as other VAPIDRIFTERS milled around in their assigned areas - no more than ten steps from the entrance, but not too close to the semi-erotic manneqins in the windows of BarnDress Woman discount plus-size fashion emporium. There would be no mercy for the man who wandered away. Lawrence checked his watch for the umpteenth time, resigned to his fate as a docile consumer support unit.
Etymology: VAPId+DRIFT=VAPIDRIFT.....Vapid: lacking liveliness, tang, briskness, or force- Latin vapidus flat-tasting; akin to Latin vappa flat wine and perhaps to Latin vapor steam......DRIFT:something driven, propelled, or urged along or drawn together in a clump by or as if by a natural agency- Middle English; akin to Old English drīfan to drive.
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COMMENTS:
We regret the passing of Laurence Urdang. 1927-2008 - metrohumanx, 2008-08-27: 00:49:00
how tragic - Jabberwocky, 2008-08-27: 16:03:00
Another great word and real-life story. - OZZIEBOB, 2008-08-28: 00:59:00
Some day, lad...all this will be yours. - metrohumanx, 2008-08-28: 03:37:00
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Shoperfunctorate
Created by: OZZIEBOB
Pronunciation: shop-pur-FUNKSHO-rate
Sentence: Bob is not an optimist, he never double parks while Roxie is shopping. All he hopes for, as he shoperfunctorates, is that Roxie's feet will start to hurt before his wallet does. And when she's seriously shoprocrasty, he never ridicules her or becomes boutique-piqued, but remains mart-smart even when she tries on a dozen dresses and an imelda of shoes.
Etymology: Blend of shop & perfunctorate: done merely to get rid of the duty, performed mechanically, by rote, superficially. Cognates: Shoperfunctory, Shoperfunctoriness.
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COMMENTS:
I love boutique-piqued and the imelda of shoes - Jabberwocky, 2007-09-26: 10:46:00
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Windower
Created by: dessessopsid
Pronunciation:
Sentence: Greg became a windower everytime he went shopping with Janine.
Etymology: Window: the display space in and directly behind a shop window. And Widower: a man who has lost his wife by death and has not remarried.
Eyedle
Created by: shalla
Pronunciation:
Sentence: Fred sighed as Jen took six more dresses into the changing room, resigned to eyedling for another twenty minutes at least. Having already eyedled through the homewares and auto departments, he now turned his gaze to electronics...
Etymology: eye (to look at or ogle) + idle (to waste time)
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COMMENTS:
I can see this site becoming addicting... My first-ever verboticism! - shalla, 2007-09-26: 10:40:00
Eye-eye for an eye-popper! Nice word. - OZZIEBOB, 2007-09-26: 18:40:00
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Cashtrate
Created by: DrWebsterIII
Pronunciation: ˈkash trāt
Sentence: Leonard always felt cashtrated at the mall whilst his girlfriend Amanda took charge of his credit card and tossed him like a hangar in the dressing home
Etymology: cash ( currency, money) + castrate (to emasculate, deprive vigor)
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COMMENTS:
That's why they call money geld! - Nosila, 2012-11-02: 19:27:00
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Holostasis
Created by: doceanjo
Pronunciation: Hó + los +istasis
Sentence: This is a holographic homeostasis biological concept it means holographic equilibrium.
Etymology: Holos + stasis
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COMMENTS:
Holostasis is a great word. You should expound on it. - metrohumanx, 2008-08-28: 03:06:00
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Comments:
Today's definition was suggested by kabloozie. Thank you kabloozie! ~ James
Can't you be arrested for MASTERWAITING in public?
galwaywegian - 2008-08-27: 05:56:00
Or masterbaiting at college
Today's definition was suggested by kabloozie. Thank you kabloozie. ~ James