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'I don't let my laptop date!'

DEFINITION: v. A software update or patch which uses up a ton of memory and hard drive space, stalling the computer with a crippling case of performance anxiety. n. To stall out a computer by installing a software "upgrade".

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Verboticisms

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Vistahault

Created by: coachcorrie26

Pronunciation: Vista (windows operating system) hault (to stop)

Sentence: Please do not update my laptop online with all that lollygagging nonsense because it can cause a "vistahault" and crash my entire system!

Etymology: vista (meaning beautiful/wonderful view - my beautiful/wonderful computer's view through the monitor via hard-drive) will hault (stop) running and crash my entire system!

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Scupperdate

Created by: muffinman

Pronunciation: Scup-per-date

Sentence: n. My computer went into meltdown last night after that Windows scupperdate started by itself. v. Windows started scupperdating my laptop last night because I left it to restart by mistake.

Etymology: Scupper + update = scupperdate

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Upgreyed

Created by: galwaywegian

Pronunciation: uhp grayd

Sentence: she started the upgrade five hours and the screen was still upgreyed.

Etymology: upgrade greyed

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Bytehog

Created by: splendiction

Pronunciation: bite hog

Sentence: Pcsity proffered many "free" softwear updates to make the computing experience faster and easier. Jake installed one such update, or bytehog, in an effort to recover information on an online application page after the page expired. Jake’s lapshlop ran for four days completing the installation, only to discover another bytehog was needed to finish it. His lapshlop was hog-bitten! And Jake thought the online application form would be easier! That bytehog!

Etymology: From byte (a unit of memory on a computer) and hog - a being that hoards or monopolizes, in this case, one's computer memory/computer bytes.

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COMMENTS:

Clever! - silveryaspen, 2009-02-23: 21:54:00

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Freezedrived

Created by: mweinmann

Pronunciation: freez - drivd

Sentence: My booting has become freezedrived ever since I applied the latest microstall patch. I now have a slowseepeeyou, a lockedclock and my ram butts badly.

Etymology: Freeze + Drive(as in Hard Drive) also play on "freeze dried" >> Freeze (Stop moving or become immobilized) Drive (computer hardware that holds and spins a magnetic or optical disk and reads and writes information on it) Freeze Dried (The substance is frozen and then dried in a vacuum)

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COMMENTS:

Each verbotomy made me laugh more! Super Duper! - silveryaspen, 2009-02-23: 10:51:00

terrific - Jabberwocky, 2009-02-23: 15:48:00

Stupendous! - TJayzz, 2009-02-23: 17:25:00

PCU around...good word! - Nosila, 2009-02-23: 21:45:00

Really good word. - kateinkorea, 2009-02-24: 07:58:00

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Blindupdate

Created by: feltcap

Pronunciation: blīndŭp-dāt'

Sentence: Similar to that uneasy feeling you get when one of your friends sets you up he was nervous going into the blindupdate. He was worried that it would result in the same kind of feeling he had on his last blind date - will it ever end!?

Etymology: blind date - a social engagement between two persons who have not previously met, update - the act of instance of bringing something up to date

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Giveupdate

Created by: Negatrev

Pronunciation: Giv-up-day-t

Sentence: Johnny left for lunch early as his workstation wasn't usable while it was giveupdating.

Etymology: give-up (to concede,relent) and update (to bring in line, to improve)

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Busplug

metrohumanx

Created by: metrohumanx

Pronunciation: Just the way it looks...

Sentence: Rondo fancied himself a computer expert. When he "helped" Lulu upgrade her purloined laptop by downloading the approved version of "service pack 5", he inadvertently created a BUSPLUG similar to the "blue screen of death" so popular in the last century. Rondo's motives were pure, and he offered to buy Lulu a donut and help her "work it out"....even if it took all night!

Etymology: BUS+PLUG=BUSPLUG(busplugged, busplugging).....BUS:In computer architecture, a bus is a subsystem that transfers data between computer components inside a computer or between computers......PLUG:a piece used to fill a hole, a stopper, an obtruding or obstructing mass of material resembling a stopper, any of various devices resembling or functioning like a plug, a male fitting for making an electrical connection to a live circuit by insertion in a receptacle.

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COMMENTS:

metrohumanx Sorry about this one, gang. I just couldn'r resist it.... - metrohumanx, 2009-02-23: 00:30:00

Hope he has some Viaoagra - Nosila, 2009-02-23: 00:46:00

metrohumanx While tecnically inaccurate, i just went with it because it was slopping over with subtlety and nuance... - metrohumanx, 2009-02-23: 01:01:00

Naughty but good, so will cut you some slaxative! - silveryaspen, 2009-02-23: 11:20:00

BUSPLUG similar to the "blue screen of death" - abrakadeborah, 2009-03-25: 14:09:00

BUSPLUG similar to the "blue screen of death" - abrakadeborah, 2009-03-25: 14:10:00

WHY doesn't this site pick up the entire comment instead of just parts...???? Ugh - abrakadeborah, 2009-03-25: 14:10:00

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Useupgrade

Created by: Stevenson0

Pronunciation: use/up/grade

Sentence: The patch to fix the program uses more memory than the program itself, making it a useupgrade rather than a viable program.

Etymology: USEUPGRADE - from - USE UP + UPGRADE

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COMMENTS:

Good one! - TJayzz, 2009-02-23: 17:27:00

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Upgrate

artr

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: uhpgreyt

Sentence: When the start-up chime on your computer sounds more like fingernails on a chalkboard, it might be an indication that the the latest upgrate isn't operating in quite the way it was expected to.

Etymology: upgrade (to incorporate new or more accurate information) + grate (to scrape or rub with rough or noisy friction)

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Comments:

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2009-02-23: 00:01:01
Today's definition was suggested by silveryaspen. Thank you silveryaspen. ~ James

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2010-09-06: 00:31:00
Today's definition was suggested by silveryaspen. Thank you silveryaspen. ~ James