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'I don't let my laptop date!'

DEFINITION: v. A software update or patch which uses up a ton of memory and hard drive space, stalling the computer with a crippling case of performance anxiety. n. To stall out a computer by installing a software "upgrade".

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Verboticisms

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Affordapatchee

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: aff ord a pat chee

Sentence: He had his reservations. After all, this new upgrade, while inexpensive (actually free) could cost him his whole computer system. It would affect his computer Manitouls, he'd be shaman his ancestors. It was definitely accessible and affordapatchee, but it tended to slow down his hard drive, took lots of memory and stalled out his access to the Home Shopping Network and his daily dose of Verbomtomy! No good could come from that...it would be Totem bedlam. Using his Inuituition and wearing his Bow Tie and his Arrow shirt,he decided that he would buy the patch anyway...if his system crashed, he could always Sioux the manufacturers!

Etymology: Fort Apache (John Ford movie, starring John Wayne as a commander at Fort Apache, who has sympathy for Cochese and his Native followers. He is replaced (upgraded as it were) by Henry Fonda, who is not so liberal and whose arrogance causes the Natives to uprise and give the Fort trouble...relationships have to be repaired) & Afford ( be the cause or source of;be able to spare or give up) & Patch (a short set of commands to correct a bug in a computer program;a connection intended to be used for a limited time)

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COMMENTS:

metrohumanx Inuituition ....you crack me up, Hon! - metrohumanx, 2009-02-23: 00:53:00

love it! - galwaywegian, 2009-02-23: 07:00:00

superb injunuity! - silveryaspen, 2009-02-23: 10:45:00

injunious.... - Mustang, 2009-02-23: 18:05:00

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Busstop

Created by: otherguy

Pronunciation: bəsstäp

Sentence: The latest "gotta-install-it-or-your-computer-will-blow-up" patch to the patch to the patch turned out to be a complete busstop on my computer. (I'm writing this on a friend's laptop)

Etymology: bus: a distinct set of conductors carrying data and control signals within a computer system, to which pieces of equipment may be connected in parallel + stop: come to an end; cease to happen

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COMMENTS:

artr Ooh, sounds personal! - artr, 2009-02-23: 07:24:00

did busplug inspire you? - silveryaspen, 2009-02-23: 11:26:00

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Desktopdysfunction

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: desk top dis funk shun

Sentence: You know the embarrassment, the guilt, the feelings of inadequacy, the viagravvation. Yes, we've all seen the commercials to go to your doctor. But where does your computer go when it suffers from desktopdysfunction? There's no self help groups, no printed literature. All it can do is surf the net and hope for an antidote to the new patch you've installed. The one which was supposed to increase memory and speed, but which instead creates internet impotence. Maybe somewhere there's a cure, but until there's a celebrity spokesperson or a telethon to raise funds and awareness, what's a lowly desktop to do? It's hard-breaking...

Etymology: Desktop ((computer science) the area of the screen in graphical user interfaces against which icons and windows appear) & Dysfunction ((medicine) any disturbance in the function of an organ or body part). Play on erectile dysfunction (impotence resulting from a man's inability to have or maintain an erection)

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Upstallation

BitCrack

Created by: BitCrack

Pronunciation: like installation, with up at the beginning.

Sentence: "watch out man, that Starcraft patch gave me some major upstallation"

Etymology:

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Useupgrade

Created by: Stevenson0

Pronunciation: use/up/grade

Sentence: The patch to fix the program uses more memory than the program itself, making it a useupgrade rather than a viable program.

Etymology: USEUPGRADE - from - USE UP + UPGRADE

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COMMENTS:

Good one! - TJayzz, 2009-02-23: 17:27:00

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Executabledysfunction

Created by: Mustang

Pronunciation: ecks-uh-cute-abuhl-dis-FUNCT-shun

Sentence: Heinrich cursed his aging laptop when it experience severe executabledysfuntion when he tried to download and install a system update of utmost importance.

Etymology: Blend of executable and dysfunction, a play on the term 'erectile dysfunction'

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COMMENTS:

metrohumanx Hahahaahah...Heinrich! das ist GUT! - metrohumanx, 2009-02-23: 00:55:00

Killer creation! - silveryaspen, 2009-02-23: 10:49:00

Hee! Hee! - TJayzz, 2009-02-23: 18:55:00

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Dualsnore

artr

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: doōəlsnôr

Sentence: Ryan is diligent about winstalling every patch and wupgrade that comes along. The latest one turned his fancy dualcore processor into a dualsnore. He can't understand how his bestest-friends-ever at Windows could have let him down. Surely they couldn't have made a mistake. He decides that he must have done something wrong in downloading or winstalling the patch to the patch so he'll wait patiently for the patch to the patch to the patch.

Etymology: dual core (A multi-core processor) + snore (a snorting or grunting sound in a person's breathing while asleep)(a thing that is extremely boring)

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Windowsupdate

DnBrown

Created by: DnBrown

Pronunciation:

Sentence:

Etymology:

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Freezamavista

Created by: kateinkorea

Pronunciation: FREE zah mah VEES tah

Sentence: June came in and found me working on her computer trying to give her the office upgrades. The next thing she's saying "Hasta la vista, Baby. Back away from my computer. You are not going to freezamavista." "Hasta la vista to you too June. And I won't be back," I told her.

Etymology: FREEZE: as in computer freeze MY: VISTA: operating system PLAY ON HASTA LA VISTA: see you later in Spanish

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Bytehog

Created by: splendiction

Pronunciation: bite hog

Sentence: Pcsity proffered many "free" softwear updates to make the computing experience faster and easier. Jake installed one such update, or bytehog, in an effort to recover information on an online application page after the page expired. Jake’s lapshlop ran for four days completing the installation, only to discover another bytehog was needed to finish it. His lapshlop was hog-bitten! And Jake thought the online application form would be easier! That bytehog!

Etymology: From byte (a unit of memory on a computer) and hog - a being that hoards or monopolizes, in this case, one's computer memory/computer bytes.

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COMMENTS:

Clever! - silveryaspen, 2009-02-23: 21:54:00

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Comments:

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2009-02-23: 00:01:01
Today's definition was suggested by silveryaspen. Thank you silveryaspen. ~ James

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2010-09-06: 00:31:00
Today's definition was suggested by silveryaspen. Thank you silveryaspen. ~ James