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'I don't let my laptop date!'

DEFINITION: v. A software update or patch which uses up a ton of memory and hard drive space, stalling the computer with a crippling case of performance anxiety. n. To stall out a computer by installing a software "upgrade".

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Verboticisms

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Pleasewaiteternity

GlobalGallery

Created by: GlobalGallery

Pronunciation: pleez-wayt-urn-itee

Sentence: "That site has everything" proclaimed Charles, "All the coolest games, movies, and TV shows, and it's all free". William sat there staring eagerly at the screen. He was just moments away from accessing a treasure trove of quality content. Those moments became minutes and the loading bar kept restarting. William was facing a pleasewaiternity when he realised that the promise was too good to be true and the site was a dud. Then his keyboard, mouse and screen all locked up in synchronized chaos.

Etymology: Loading please wait... + eternity (forever)

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Upstall

Created by: QuantumMechanic

Pronunciation: up-stall

Sentence: I just upstalled that emergency patch, and it slowed to a crawl, before throwing an out of memory error and rebooting.

Etymology: Upgrade (load a new version) + stall (slow down or stop)

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Upgreyed

Created by: galwaywegian

Pronunciation: uhp grayd

Sentence: she started the upgrade five hours and the screen was still upgreyed.

Etymology: upgrade greyed

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Desktopdysfunction

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: desk top dis funk shun

Sentence: You know the embarrassment, the guilt, the feelings of inadequacy, the viagravvation. Yes, we've all seen the commercials to go to your doctor. But where does your computer go when it suffers from desktopdysfunction? There's no self help groups, no printed literature. All it can do is surf the net and hope for an antidote to the new patch you've installed. The one which was supposed to increase memory and speed, but which instead creates internet impotence. Maybe somewhere there's a cure, but until there's a celebrity spokesperson or a telethon to raise funds and awareness, what's a lowly desktop to do? It's hard-breaking...

Etymology: Desktop ((computer science) the area of the screen in graphical user interfaces against which icons and windows appear) & Dysfunction ((medicine) any disturbance in the function of an organ or body part). Play on erectile dysfunction (impotence resulting from a man's inability to have or maintain an erection)

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Arthridical

Created by: letty

Pronunciation:

Sentence: You have an arthridical patient.

Etymology:

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Blindupdate

Created by: feltcap

Pronunciation: blīndŭp-dāt'

Sentence: Similar to that uneasy feeling you get when one of your friends sets you up he was nervous going into the blindupdate. He was worried that it would result in the same kind of feeling he had on his last blind date - will it ever end!?

Etymology: blind date - a social engagement between two persons who have not previously met, update - the act of instance of bringing something up to date

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Affordapatchee

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: aff ord a pat chee

Sentence: He had his reservations. After all, this new upgrade, while inexpensive (actually free) could cost him his whole computer system. It would affect his computer Manitouls, he'd be shaman his ancestors. It was definitely accessible and affordapatchee, but it tended to slow down his hard drive, took lots of memory and stalled out his access to the Home Shopping Network and his daily dose of Verbomtomy! No good could come from that...it would be Totem bedlam. Using his Inuituition and wearing his Bow Tie and his Arrow shirt,he decided that he would buy the patch anyway...if his system crashed, he could always Sioux the manufacturers!

Etymology: Fort Apache (John Ford movie, starring John Wayne as a commander at Fort Apache, who has sympathy for Cochese and his Native followers. He is replaced (upgraded as it were) by Henry Fonda, who is not so liberal and whose arrogance causes the Natives to uprise and give the Fort trouble...relationships have to be repaired) & Afford ( be the cause or source of;be able to spare or give up) & Patch (a short set of commands to correct a bug in a computer program;a connection intended to be used for a limited time)

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COMMENTS:

metrohumanx Inuituition ....you crack me up, Hon! - metrohumanx, 2009-02-23: 00:53:00

love it! - galwaywegian, 2009-02-23: 07:00:00

superb injunuity! - silveryaspen, 2009-02-23: 10:45:00

injunious.... - Mustang, 2009-02-23: 18:05:00

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Vaiogra

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: vai ou gra

Sentence: Minnie knew she had used too much vaiogra to upgrade her computer's performance. It had been more than four hours since she had not been able to turn off the computer and so it was now time to head to the PC emergency ward, before her terminal became terminal.

Etymology: Vaio ( a sub-brand used for many of Sony's computer products. Originally an acronym of Video Audio Integrated Operation, this was amended to Visual Audio Intelligent Organizer in 20080 & Viagra (virility drug (trade name Viagra) used to treat erectile dysfunction in men)

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Busstop

Created by: otherguy

Pronunciation: bəsstäp

Sentence: The latest "gotta-install-it-or-your-computer-will-blow-up" patch to the patch to the patch turned out to be a complete busstop on my computer. (I'm writing this on a friend's laptop)

Etymology: bus: a distinct set of conductors carrying data and control signals within a computer system, to which pieces of equipment may be connected in parallel + stop: come to an end; cease to happen

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COMMENTS:

artr Ooh, sounds personal! - artr, 2009-02-23: 07:24:00

did busplug inspire you? - silveryaspen, 2009-02-23: 11:26:00

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Busplug

metrohumanx

Created by: metrohumanx

Pronunciation: Just the way it looks...

Sentence: Rondo fancied himself a computer expert. When he "helped" Lulu upgrade her purloined laptop by downloading the approved version of "service pack 5", he inadvertently created a BUSPLUG similar to the "blue screen of death" so popular in the last century. Rondo's motives were pure, and he offered to buy Lulu a donut and help her "work it out"....even if it took all night!

Etymology: BUS+PLUG=BUSPLUG(busplugged, busplugging).....BUS:In computer architecture, a bus is a subsystem that transfers data between computer components inside a computer or between computers......PLUG:a piece used to fill a hole, a stopper, an obtruding or obstructing mass of material resembling a stopper, any of various devices resembling or functioning like a plug, a male fitting for making an electrical connection to a live circuit by insertion in a receptacle.

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COMMENTS:

metrohumanx Sorry about this one, gang. I just couldn'r resist it.... - metrohumanx, 2009-02-23: 00:30:00

Hope he has some Viaoagra - Nosila, 2009-02-23: 00:46:00

metrohumanx While tecnically inaccurate, i just went with it because it was slopping over with subtlety and nuance... - metrohumanx, 2009-02-23: 01:01:00

Naughty but good, so will cut you some slaxative! - silveryaspen, 2009-02-23: 11:20:00

BUSPLUG similar to the "blue screen of death" - abrakadeborah, 2009-03-25: 14:09:00

BUSPLUG similar to the "blue screen of death" - abrakadeborah, 2009-03-25: 14:10:00

WHY doesn't this site pick up the entire comment instead of just parts...???? Ugh - abrakadeborah, 2009-03-25: 14:10:00

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Comments:

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2009-02-23: 00:01:01
Today's definition was suggested by silveryaspen. Thank you silveryaspen. ~ James

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2010-09-06: 00:31:00
Today's definition was suggested by silveryaspen. Thank you silveryaspen. ~ James