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'I don't let my laptop date!'

DEFINITION: v. A software update or patch which uses up a ton of memory and hard drive space, stalling the computer with a crippling case of performance anxiety. n. To stall out a computer by installing a software "upgrade".

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Verboticisms

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Blindupdate

Created by: feltcap

Pronunciation: blīndŭp-dāt'

Sentence: Similar to that uneasy feeling you get when one of your friends sets you up he was nervous going into the blindupdate. He was worried that it would result in the same kind of feeling he had on his last blind date - will it ever end!?

Etymology: blind date - a social engagement between two persons who have not previously met, update - the act of instance of bringing something up to date

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Freezamavista

Created by: kateinkorea

Pronunciation: FREE zah mah VEES tah

Sentence: June came in and found me working on her computer trying to give her the office upgrades. The next thing she's saying "Hasta la vista, Baby. Back away from my computer. You are not going to freezamavista." "Hasta la vista to you too June. And I won't be back," I told her.

Etymology: FREEZE: as in computer freeze MY: VISTA: operating system PLAY ON HASTA LA VISTA: see you later in Spanish

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Busstop

Created by: otherguy

Pronunciation: bəsstäp

Sentence: The latest "gotta-install-it-or-your-computer-will-blow-up" patch to the patch to the patch turned out to be a complete busstop on my computer. (I'm writing this on a friend's laptop)

Etymology: bus: a distinct set of conductors carrying data and control signals within a computer system, to which pieces of equipment may be connected in parallel + stop: come to an end; cease to happen

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COMMENTS:

artr Ooh, sounds personal! - artr, 2009-02-23: 07:24:00

did busplug inspire you? - silveryaspen, 2009-02-23: 11:26:00

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Bytehog

Created by: splendiction

Pronunciation: bite hog

Sentence: Pcsity proffered many "free" softwear updates to make the computing experience faster and easier. Jake installed one such update, or bytehog, in an effort to recover information on an online application page after the page expired. Jake’s lapshlop ran for four days completing the installation, only to discover another bytehog was needed to finish it. His lapshlop was hog-bitten! And Jake thought the online application form would be easier! That bytehog!

Etymology: From byte (a unit of memory on a computer) and hog - a being that hoards or monopolizes, in this case, one's computer memory/computer bytes.

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COMMENTS:

Clever! - silveryaspen, 2009-02-23: 21:54:00

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Upgrate

artr

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: uhpgreyt

Sentence: When the start-up chime on your computer sounds more like fingernails on a chalkboard, it might be an indication that the the latest upgrate isn't operating in quite the way it was expected to.

Etymology: upgrade (to incorporate new or more accurate information) + grate (to scrape or rub with rough or noisy friction)

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Sapgrade

Created by: Jabberwocky

Pronunciation: sap/grade

Sentence: Everytime our IT guys install a sapgrade on our systems they create havoc for us and overtime for them - maybe it's some kind of conspiracy.

Etymology: upgrade + sap (meaning both - a foolish person and also to sap energy)

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COMMENTS:

nice jw - galwaywegian, 2009-02-23: 10:06:00

sapgrades as part of a compspiracy - brilliant sentence and verbotomy! - silveryaspen, 2009-02-23: 11:28:00

Great word!! - TJayzz, 2009-02-23: 17:24:00

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Webstuck

Created by: silveryaspen

Pronunciation: web stuk

Sentence: It takes so long for some embedded files, they should call them inbedded files, for they take all night! ET hated spyware, and wished they made spryware, a program for nimble and quick downloads. ET didn't call it a web stack, he called it a webstuck! While waiting for his software on demand to download, ET not only had time to phone home, but every one on his home planet!

Etymology: WEBSTUCK is a play on WEB STACK, Web stack is the term used to refer to software stacks in Web development environments. The stack of software, mainly comprised of open source software, will contain an operating system, Web server, database server, and programming language. One of the most most well-known web stacks is LAMP. Let us hope it will enlighten our way!

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COMMENTS:

very apt - Jabberwocky, 2009-02-23: 15:52:00

Like it - TJayzz, 2009-02-23: 17:26:00

Beeee good! - Nosila, 2009-02-23: 21:48:00

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Scupperdate

Created by: muffinman

Pronunciation: Scup-per-date

Sentence: n. My computer went into meltdown last night after that Windows scupperdate started by itself. v. Windows started scupperdating my laptop last night because I left it to restart by mistake.

Etymology: Scupper + update = scupperdate

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Desktopdysfunction

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: desk top dis funk shun

Sentence: You know the embarrassment, the guilt, the feelings of inadequacy, the viagravvation. Yes, we've all seen the commercials to go to your doctor. But where does your computer go when it suffers from desktopdysfunction? There's no self help groups, no printed literature. All it can do is surf the net and hope for an antidote to the new patch you've installed. The one which was supposed to increase memory and speed, but which instead creates internet impotence. Maybe somewhere there's a cure, but until there's a celebrity spokesperson or a telethon to raise funds and awareness, what's a lowly desktop to do? It's hard-breaking...

Etymology: Desktop ((computer science) the area of the screen in graphical user interfaces against which icons and windows appear) & Dysfunction ((medicine) any disturbance in the function of an organ or body part). Play on erectile dysfunction (impotence resulting from a man's inability to have or maintain an erection)

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Executabledysfunction

Created by: Mustang

Pronunciation: ecks-uh-cute-abuhl-dis-FUNCT-shun

Sentence: Heinrich cursed his aging laptop when it experience severe executabledysfuntion when he tried to download and install a system update of utmost importance.

Etymology: Blend of executable and dysfunction, a play on the term 'erectile dysfunction'

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COMMENTS:

metrohumanx Hahahaahah...Heinrich! das ist GUT! - metrohumanx, 2009-02-23: 00:55:00

Killer creation! - silveryaspen, 2009-02-23: 10:49:00

Hee! Hee! - TJayzz, 2009-02-23: 18:55:00

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Comments:

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2009-02-23: 00:01:01
Today's definition was suggested by silveryaspen. Thank you silveryaspen. ~ James

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2010-09-06: 00:31:00
Today's definition was suggested by silveryaspen. Thank you silveryaspen. ~ James