Vote for the best verboticism.
DEFINITION: v. A software update or patch which uses up a ton of memory and hard drive space, stalling the computer with a crippling case of performance anxiety. n. To stall out a computer by installing a software "upgrade".
Verboticisms
Click on each verboticism to read the sentences created by the Verbotomy writers, and to see your voting options...
You have two votes. Click on the words to read the details, then vote your favorite.
Desktopdysfunction
Created by: Nosila
Pronunciation: desk top dis funk shun
Sentence: You know the embarrassment, the guilt, the feelings of inadequacy, the viagravvation. Yes, we've all seen the commercials to go to your doctor. But where does your computer go when it suffers from desktopdysfunction? There's no self help groups, no printed literature. All it can do is surf the net and hope for an antidote to the new patch you've installed. The one which was supposed to increase memory and speed, but which instead creates internet impotence. Maybe somewhere there's a cure, but until there's a celebrity spokesperson or a telethon to raise funds and awareness, what's a lowly desktop to do? It's hard-breaking...
Etymology: Desktop ((computer science) the area of the screen in graphical user interfaces against which icons and windows appear) & Dysfunction ((medicine) any disturbance in the function of an organ or body part). Play on erectile dysfunction (impotence resulting from a man's inability to have or maintain an erection)
Vistahault
Created by: coachcorrie26
Pronunciation: Vista (windows operating system) hault (to stop)
Sentence: Please do not update my laptop online with all that lollygagging nonsense because it can cause a "vistahault" and crash my entire system!
Etymology: vista (meaning beautiful/wonderful view - my beautiful/wonderful computer's view through the monitor via hard-drive) will hault (stop) running and crash my entire system!
Useupgrade
Created by: Stevenson0
Pronunciation: use/up/grade
Sentence: The patch to fix the program uses more memory than the program itself, making it a useupgrade rather than a viable program.
Etymology: USEUPGRADE - from - USE UP + UPGRADE
----------------------------
COMMENTS:
Good one! - TJayzz, 2009-02-23: 17:27:00
----------------------------
Floptimize
Created by: FreakyDeak
Pronunciation: flop-tim-eyes
Sentence: The decision to floptimize my computer was a wrong one, seeing as it can now barely perform addition.
Etymology: Flop-optimize
----------------------------
COMMENTS:
It was either this or stoptimize - FreakyDeak, 2010-09-08: 02:53:00
nice - galwaywegian, 2010-09-08: 08:57:00
----------------------------
Blindupdate
Created by: feltcap
Pronunciation: blīndŭp-dāt'
Sentence: Similar to that uneasy feeling you get when one of your friends sets you up he was nervous going into the blindupdate. He was worried that it would result in the same kind of feeling he had on his last blind date - will it ever end!?
Etymology: blind date - a social engagement between two persons who have not previously met, update - the act of instance of bringing something up to date
Webstuck
Created by: silveryaspen
Pronunciation: web stuk
Sentence: It takes so long for some embedded files, they should call them inbedded files, for they take all night! ET hated spyware, and wished they made spryware, a program for nimble and quick downloads. ET didn't call it a web stack, he called it a webstuck! While waiting for his software on demand to download, ET not only had time to phone home, but every one on his home planet!
Etymology: WEBSTUCK is a play on WEB STACK, Web stack is the term used to refer to software stacks in Web development environments. The stack of software, mainly comprised of open source software, will contain an operating system, Web server, database server, and programming language. One of the most most well-known web stacks is LAMP. Let us hope it will enlighten our way!
----------------------------
COMMENTS:
very apt - Jabberwocky, 2009-02-23: 15:52:00
Like it - TJayzz, 2009-02-23: 17:26:00
Beeee good! - Nosila, 2009-02-23: 21:48:00
----------------------------
Busstop
Created by: otherguy
Pronunciation: bəsstäp
Sentence: The latest "gotta-install-it-or-your-computer-will-blow-up" patch to the patch to the patch turned out to be a complete busstop on my computer. (I'm writing this on a friend's laptop)
Etymology: bus: a distinct set of conductors carrying data and control signals within a computer system, to which pieces of equipment may be connected in parallel + stop: come to an end; cease to happen
----------------------------
COMMENTS:
Ooh, sounds personal! - artr, 2009-02-23: 07:24:00
did busplug inspire you? - silveryaspen, 2009-02-23: 11:26:00
----------------------------
Retrofret
Created by: readerwriter
Pronunciation: reh-troh-freht
Sentence: To3m (the 3 was silent) had held onto his Commodore "Daisy" for so long that anytime he tried to update her, she pitched a retrofret.
Etymology: A play on RETROFIT, referring to an upgrade in technology + FRET, disturb or agitate
Upgreyed
Created by: galwaywegian
Pronunciation: up graeed
Sentence: the upgrade upgreyed
Etymology: upgrade greyed out
Comments:
Today's definition was suggested by silveryaspen. Thank you silveryaspen. ~ James
Today's definition was suggested by silveryaspen. Thank you silveryaspen. ~ James