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'I don't let my laptop date!'

DEFINITION: v. A software update or patch which uses up a ton of memory and hard drive space, stalling the computer with a crippling case of performance anxiety. n. To stall out a computer by installing a software "upgrade".

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Verboticisms

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Connixion

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: kon iks eon

Sentence: Although she had been advised to do so, Marianne was reluctant to install another connixion to slow down her computer.

Etymology: Connexion ( the process of bringing ideas or events together in memory or imagination) & Nix (nothing;a quantity of no importance)

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Webstuck

Created by: silveryaspen

Pronunciation: web stuk

Sentence: It takes so long for some embedded files, they should call them inbedded files, for they take all night! ET hated spyware, and wished they made spryware, a program for nimble and quick downloads. ET didn't call it a web stack, he called it a webstuck! While waiting for his software on demand to download, ET not only had time to phone home, but every one on his home planet!

Etymology: WEBSTUCK is a play on WEB STACK, Web stack is the term used to refer to software stacks in Web development environments. The stack of software, mainly comprised of open source software, will contain an operating system, Web server, database server, and programming language. One of the most most well-known web stacks is LAMP. Let us hope it will enlighten our way!

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COMMENTS:

very apt - Jabberwocky, 2009-02-23: 15:52:00

Like it - TJayzz, 2009-02-23: 17:26:00

Beeee good! - Nosila, 2009-02-23: 21:48:00

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Upgreyed

Created by: galwaywegian

Pronunciation: up graeed

Sentence: the upgrade upgreyed

Etymology: upgrade greyed out

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Executabledysfunction

Created by: Mustang

Pronunciation: ecks-uh-cute-abuhl-dis-FUNCT-shun

Sentence: Brad cursed his aging laptop when it experience severe executabledysfuntion when he tried to download and install a system update of utmost importance.

Etymology: Blend of 'executable' (An executable file is a file that is used to perform various functions or operations on a computer) and 'dysfunction' (when something doesn't operate normally), a play on the term 'erectile dysfunction'

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Appallingvista

Created by: galwaywegian

Pronunciation: app awl ing vissssssss ta

Sentence: Her laptop had become so snooty since the appalingvista, it wouldn't let her communicate with any of the "older crowd"

Etymology: appalling vista, windows vista

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COMMENTS:

Aw shucks. Her old night in shining amor got lap lanced by her laptop! - silveryaspen, 2009-02-23: 11:14:00

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Freezamavista

Created by: kateinkorea

Pronunciation: FREE zah mah VEES tah

Sentence: June came in and found me working on her computer trying to give her the office upgrades. The next thing she's saying "Hasta la vista, Baby. Back away from my computer. You are not going to freezamavista." "Hasta la vista to you too June. And I won't be back," I told her.

Etymology: FREEZE: as in computer freeze MY: VISTA: operating system PLAY ON HASTA LA VISTA: see you later in Spanish

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Giveupdate

Created by: Negatrev

Pronunciation: Giv-up-day-t

Sentence: Johnny left for lunch early as his workstation wasn't usable while it was giveupdating.

Etymology: give-up (to concede,relent) and update (to bring in line, to improve)

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Vistahault

Created by: coachcorrie26

Pronunciation: Vista (windows operating system) hault (to stop)

Sentence: Please do not update my laptop online with all that lollygagging nonsense because it can cause a "vistahault" and crash my entire system!

Etymology: vista (meaning beautiful/wonderful view - my beautiful/wonderful computer's view through the monitor via hard-drive) will hault (stop) running and crash my entire system!

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Retrofret

Created by: readerwriter

Pronunciation: reh-troh-freht

Sentence: To3m (the 3 was silent) had held onto his Commodore "Daisy" for so long that anytime he tried to update her, she pitched a retrofret.

Etymology: A play on RETROFIT, referring to an upgrade in technology + FRET, disturb or agitate

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Desktopdysfunction

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: desk top dis funk shun

Sentence: You know the embarrassment, the guilt, the feelings of inadequacy, the viagravvation. Yes, we've all seen the commercials to go to your doctor. But where does your computer go when it suffers from desktopdysfunction? There's no self help groups, no printed literature. All it can do is surf the net and hope for an antidote to the new patch you've installed. The one which was supposed to increase memory and speed, but which instead creates internet impotence. Maybe somewhere there's a cure, but until there's a celebrity spokesperson or a telethon to raise funds and awareness, what's a lowly desktop to do? It's hard-breaking...

Etymology: Desktop ((computer science) the area of the screen in graphical user interfaces against which icons and windows appear) & Dysfunction ((medicine) any disturbance in the function of an organ or body part). Play on erectile dysfunction (impotence resulting from a man's inability to have or maintain an erection)

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Comments:

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2009-02-23: 00:01:01
Today's definition was suggested by silveryaspen. Thank you silveryaspen. ~ James

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2010-09-06: 00:31:00
Today's definition was suggested by silveryaspen. Thank you silveryaspen. ~ James