Vote for the best verboticism.
DEFINITION: v. A software update or patch which uses up a ton of memory and hard drive space, stalling the computer with a crippling case of performance anxiety. n. To stall out a computer by installing a software "upgrade".
Verboticisms
Click on each verboticism to read the sentences created by the Verbotomy writers, and to see your voting options...
You have two votes. Click on the words to read the details, then vote your favorite.
Desktopdysfunction
Created by: Nosila
Pronunciation: desk top dis funk shun
Sentence: You know the embarrassment, the guilt, the feelings of inadequacy, the viagravvation. Yes, we've all seen the commercials to go to your doctor. But where does your computer go when it suffers from desktopdysfunction? There's no self help groups, no printed literature. All it can do is surf the net and hope for an antidote to the new patch you've installed. The one which was supposed to increase memory and speed, but which instead creates internet impotence. Maybe somewhere there's a cure, but until there's a celebrity spokesperson or a telethon to raise funds and awareness, what's a lowly desktop to do? It's hard-breaking...
Etymology: Desktop ((computer science) the area of the screen in graphical user interfaces against which icons and windows appear) & Dysfunction ((medicine) any disturbance in the function of an organ or body part). Play on erectile dysfunction (impotence resulting from a man's inability to have or maintain an erection)
Bugfixative
Created by: petaj
Pronunciation: bug-fix-a-tiv
Sentence: Help Desk? Have you tried turning it off and on? Yes, but that last patch you pushed out has caused by beetle screensaver to become stuck and I can't do anything! Help! You'll have to go online and log a job to review the bugfixative, then we can address it. But, I can't do anything, not even go online to log a job.
Etymology: bug fix (patch) + fixative (glue, adhesive to hold everything firmly in place, makes things stick)
Bytehog
Created by: splendiction
Pronunciation: bite hog
Sentence: Pcsity proffered many "free" softwear updates to make the computing experience faster and easier. Jake installed one such update, or bytehog, in an effort to recover information on an online application page after the page expired. Jake’s lapshlop ran for four days completing the installation, only to discover another bytehog was needed to finish it. His lapshlop was hog-bitten! And Jake thought the online application form would be easier! That bytehog!
Etymology: From byte (a unit of memory on a computer) and hog - a being that hoards or monopolizes, in this case, one's computer memory/computer bytes.
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COMMENTS:
Clever! - silveryaspen, 2009-02-23: 21:54:00
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Busplug
Created by: metrohumanx
Pronunciation: Just the way it looks...
Sentence: Rondo fancied himself a computer expert. When he "helped" Lulu upgrade her purloined laptop by downloading the approved version of "service pack 5", he inadvertently created a BUSPLUG similar to the "blue screen of death" so popular in the last century. Rondo's motives were pure, and he offered to buy Lulu a donut and help her "work it out"....even if it took all night!
Etymology: BUS+PLUG=BUSPLUG(busplugged, busplugging).....BUS:In computer architecture, a bus is a subsystem that transfers data between computer components inside a computer or between computers......PLUG:a piece used to fill a hole, a stopper, an obtruding or obstructing mass of material resembling a stopper, any of various devices resembling or functioning like a plug, a male fitting for making an electrical connection to a live circuit by insertion in a receptacle.
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COMMENTS:
Sorry about this one, gang. I just couldn'r resist it.... - metrohumanx, 2009-02-23: 00:30:00
Hope he has some Viaoagra - Nosila, 2009-02-23: 00:46:00
While tecnically inaccurate, i just went with it because it was slopping over with subtlety and nuance... - metrohumanx, 2009-02-23: 01:01:00
Naughty but good, so will cut you some slaxative! - silveryaspen, 2009-02-23: 11:20:00
BUSPLUG similar to the "blue screen of death" - abrakadeborah, 2009-03-25: 14:09:00
BUSPLUG similar to the "blue screen of death" - abrakadeborah, 2009-03-25: 14:10:00
WHY doesn't this site pick up the entire comment instead of just parts...???? Ugh - abrakadeborah, 2009-03-25: 14:10:00
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Upgrate
Created by: artr
Pronunciation: uhpgreyt
Sentence: When the start-up chime on your computer sounds more like fingernails on a chalkboard, it might be an indication that the the latest upgrate isn't operating in quite the way it was expected to.
Etymology: upgrade (to incorporate new or more accurate information) + grate (to scrape or rub with rough or noisy friction)
Vaiogra
Created by: Nosila
Pronunciation: vai ou gra
Sentence: Minnie knew she had used too much vaiogra to upgrade her computer's performance. It had been more than four hours since she had not been able to turn off the computer and so it was now time to head to the PC emergency ward, before her terminal became terminal.
Etymology: Vaio ( a sub-brand used for many of Sony's computer products. Originally an acronym of Video Audio Integrated Operation, this was amended to Visual Audio Intelligent Organizer in 20080 & Viagra (virility drug (trade name Viagra) used to treat erectile dysfunction in men)
Appallingvista
Created by: galwaywegian
Pronunciation: app awl ing vissssssss ta
Sentence: Her laptop had become so snooty since the appalingvista, it wouldn't let her communicate with any of the "older crowd"
Etymology: appalling vista, windows vista
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COMMENTS:
Aw shucks. Her old night in shining amor got lap lanced by her laptop! - silveryaspen, 2009-02-23: 11:14:00
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Useupgrade
Created by: Stevenson0
Pronunciation: use/up/grade
Sentence: The patch to fix the program uses more memory than the program itself, making it a useupgrade rather than a viable program.
Etymology: USEUPGRADE - from - USE UP + UPGRADE
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COMMENTS:
Good one! - TJayzz, 2009-02-23: 17:27:00
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Webstuck
Created by: silveryaspen
Pronunciation: web stuk
Sentence: It takes so long for some embedded files, they should call them inbedded files, for they take all night! ET hated spyware, and wished they made spryware, a program for nimble and quick downloads. ET didn't call it a web stack, he called it a webstuck! While waiting for his software on demand to download, ET not only had time to phone home, but every one on his home planet!
Etymology: WEBSTUCK is a play on WEB STACK, Web stack is the term used to refer to software stacks in Web development environments. The stack of software, mainly comprised of open source software, will contain an operating system, Web server, database server, and programming language. One of the most most well-known web stacks is LAMP. Let us hope it will enlighten our way!
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COMMENTS:
very apt - Jabberwocky, 2009-02-23: 15:52:00
Like it - TJayzz, 2009-02-23: 17:26:00
Beeee good! - Nosila, 2009-02-23: 21:48:00
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Floptimize
Created by: FreakyDeak
Pronunciation: flop-tim-eyes
Sentence: The decision to floptimize my computer was a wrong one, seeing as it can now barely perform addition.
Etymology: Flop-optimize
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COMMENTS:
It was either this or stoptimize - FreakyDeak, 2010-09-08: 02:53:00
nice - galwaywegian, 2010-09-08: 08:57:00
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Comments:
Today's definition was suggested by silveryaspen. Thank you silveryaspen. ~ James
Today's definition was suggested by silveryaspen. Thank you silveryaspen. ~ James