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'I don't let my laptop date!'

DEFINITION: v. A software update or patch which uses up a ton of memory and hard drive space, stalling the computer with a crippling case of performance anxiety. n. To stall out a computer by installing a software "upgrade".

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Verboticisms

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Bytehog

Created by: splendiction

Pronunciation: bite hog

Sentence: Pcsity proffered many "free" softwear updates to make the computing experience faster and easier. Jake installed one such update, or bytehog, in an effort to recover information on an online application page after the page expired. Jake’s lapshlop ran for four days completing the installation, only to discover another bytehog was needed to finish it. His lapshlop was hog-bitten! And Jake thought the online application form would be easier! That bytehog!

Etymology: From byte (a unit of memory on a computer) and hog - a being that hoards or monopolizes, in this case, one's computer memory/computer bytes.

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COMMENTS:

Clever! - silveryaspen, 2009-02-23: 21:54:00

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Vistahault

Created by: coachcorrie26

Pronunciation: Vista (windows operating system) hault (to stop)

Sentence: Please do not update my laptop online with all that lollygagging nonsense because it can cause a "vistahault" and crash my entire system!

Etymology: vista (meaning beautiful/wonderful view - my beautiful/wonderful computer's view through the monitor via hard-drive) will hault (stop) running and crash my entire system!

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Pleasewaiteternity

GlobalGallery

Created by: GlobalGallery

Pronunciation: pleez-wayt-urn-itee

Sentence: "That site has everything" proclaimed Charles, "All the coolest games, movies, and TV shows, and it's all free". William sat there staring eagerly at the screen. He was just moments away from accessing a treasure trove of quality content. Those moments became minutes and the loading bar kept restarting. William was facing a pleasewaiternity when he realised that the promise was too good to be true and the site was a dud. Then his keyboard, mouse and screen all locked up in synchronized chaos.

Etymology: Loading please wait... + eternity (forever)

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Bugfixative

petaj

Created by: petaj

Pronunciation: bug-fix-a-tiv

Sentence: Help Desk? Have you tried turning it off and on? Yes, but that last patch you pushed out has caused by beetle screensaver to become stuck and I can't do anything! Help! You'll have to go online and log a job to review the bugfixative, then we can address it. But, I can't do anything, not even go online to log a job.

Etymology: bug fix (patch) + fixative (glue, adhesive to hold everything firmly in place, makes things stick)

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Freezedrived

Created by: mweinmann

Pronunciation: freez - drivd

Sentence: My booting has become freezedrived ever since I applied the latest microstall patch. I now have a slowseepeeyou, a lockedclock and my ram butts badly.

Etymology: Freeze + Drive(as in Hard Drive) also play on "freeze dried" >> Freeze (Stop moving or become immobilized) Drive (computer hardware that holds and spins a magnetic or optical disk and reads and writes information on it) Freeze Dried (The substance is frozen and then dried in a vacuum)

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COMMENTS:

Each verbotomy made me laugh more! Super Duper! - silveryaspen, 2009-02-23: 10:51:00

terrific - Jabberwocky, 2009-02-23: 15:48:00

Stupendous! - TJayzz, 2009-02-23: 17:25:00

PCU around...good word! - Nosila, 2009-02-23: 21:45:00

Really good word. - kateinkorea, 2009-02-24: 07:58:00

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Vaiogra

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: vai ou gra

Sentence: Minnie knew she had used too much vaiogra to upgrade her computer's performance. It had been more than four hours since she had not been able to turn off the computer and so it was now time to head to the PC emergency ward, before her terminal became terminal.

Etymology: Vaio ( a sub-brand used for many of Sony's computer products. Originally an acronym of Video Audio Integrated Operation, this was amended to Visual Audio Intelligent Organizer in 20080 & Viagra (virility drug (trade name Viagra) used to treat erectile dysfunction in men)

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Upgrate

artr

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: uhpgreyt

Sentence: When the start-up chime on your computer sounds more like fingernails on a chalkboard, it might be an indication that the the latest upgrate isn't operating in quite the way it was expected to.

Etymology: upgrade (to incorporate new or more accurate information) + grate (to scrape or rub with rough or noisy friction)

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Affordapatchee

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: aff ord a pat chee

Sentence: He had his reservations. After all, this new upgrade, while inexpensive (actually free) could cost him his whole computer system. It would affect his computer Manitouls, he'd be shaman his ancestors. It was definitely accessible and affordapatchee, but it tended to slow down his hard drive, took lots of memory and stalled out his access to the Home Shopping Network and his daily dose of Verbomtomy! No good could come from that...it would be Totem bedlam. Using his Inuituition and wearing his Bow Tie and his Arrow shirt,he decided that he would buy the patch anyway...if his system crashed, he could always Sioux the manufacturers!

Etymology: Fort Apache (John Ford movie, starring John Wayne as a commander at Fort Apache, who has sympathy for Cochese and his Native followers. He is replaced (upgraded as it were) by Henry Fonda, who is not so liberal and whose arrogance causes the Natives to uprise and give the Fort trouble...relationships have to be repaired) & Afford ( be the cause or source of;be able to spare or give up) & Patch (a short set of commands to correct a bug in a computer program;a connection intended to be used for a limited time)

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COMMENTS:

metrohumanx Inuituition ....you crack me up, Hon! - metrohumanx, 2009-02-23: 00:53:00

love it! - galwaywegian, 2009-02-23: 07:00:00

superb injunuity! - silveryaspen, 2009-02-23: 10:45:00

injunious.... - Mustang, 2009-02-23: 18:05:00

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Executabledysfunction

Created by: Mustang

Pronunciation: ecks-uh-cute-abuhl-dis-FUNCT-shun

Sentence: Heinrich cursed his aging laptop when it experience severe executabledysfuntion when he tried to download and install a system update of utmost importance.

Etymology: Blend of executable and dysfunction, a play on the term 'erectile dysfunction'

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COMMENTS:

metrohumanx Hahahaahah...Heinrich! das ist GUT! - metrohumanx, 2009-02-23: 00:55:00

Killer creation! - silveryaspen, 2009-02-23: 10:49:00

Hee! Hee! - TJayzz, 2009-02-23: 18:55:00

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Upgreyed

Created by: galwaywegian

Pronunciation: uhp grayd

Sentence: she started the upgrade five hours and the screen was still upgreyed.

Etymology: upgrade greyed

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Comments:

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2009-02-23: 00:01:01
Today's definition was suggested by silveryaspen. Thank you silveryaspen. ~ James

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2010-09-06: 00:31:00
Today's definition was suggested by silveryaspen. Thank you silveryaspen. ~ James