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'Why can't you get it up?'

DEFINITION: n., A Christmas tree, ornament or caroler that, no matter how it is tied, tethered and tilted, refuses to stay upright. v., To be so full of Christmas cheer that you simply sparkle, twinkle and tip over.

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Christmasculated

Created by: Stevenson0

Pronunciation: kris/mas/kyuh/leyt/ed

Sentence: During our annual neigbourhood caroling, John's six eggnog and rum completely christmasculated him and it took two carolers to drag him around from house to house.

Etymology: Christmas + emasculated (to be deprived of strength, or vigor; to be weakened) To deprive of strength or vigor; weaken

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Pisaster

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: peez as ter

Sentence: Brad and Kate's first Christmas together as a married couple had been one misfortune after another. It apparently is better to remove the turkey innards before stuffing the bird. Who knew eggnog was made with raw eggs? Pet poodles should not eat fresh mistletoe. Plus Brad had picked out a spindly Christmas Tree which leaned and wobbled under the weight of its decorations. It was a Pisaster Pine, decorated with bows of folly, fa la la la la la, la la la la! It was unfirgiveable, needleless to say. Kate got busy and tried to hide its flaws with tinsel and garlands, but there was no hope of making it a stately evergreen. It was a Tannenbum! When both sets of parents arrived for Christmas dinner, Kate & Brad were surprised not to be criticized for their coniferous conundrum. Brad's gruffy Dad said the only thing to do in this case, was to put some Viagra in the tree water to keep it upright. Apparently his bark was worse than his bite!

Etymology: Pisa (The leaning Tower of) & Disaster (a state of extreme (usually irremediable) ruin and misfortune "His policies were a disaster";an event resulting in great loss and misfortune)

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COMMENTS:

Love the reference! - emdeejay, 2008-12-15: 02:52:00

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Toemistle

apolloedge

Created by: apolloedge

Pronunciation: toe missyl

Sentence: It was scary only for a moment when Bob was hit in the head with one of his mother-in-law's toemistles, but the ones that missed their target looked fabulous in the odd places they landed. Everyone loved it so much that the toemistle became our most cherished Christmas tradition.

Etymology: toe: big digit of the foot + missile: weapon projected to hit a distant target

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Slantaflaws

mrskellyscl

Created by: mrskellyscl

Pronunciation: slant-a-flaws

Sentence: Finding a tree without slantaflaws, one that is perfect and straight, is hard when so many need slantabras to keep them from falling prostrate. We need to find one with a slantaclause -- one that comes with a guarantee that if our tree gets the slantablahs we can come and exchange it for free.

Etymology: slant: incline or bend from a vertical position + flaw: an imperfection

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Rumatumdum

Created by: looseball

Pronunciation: rum-a-tum-dum

Sentence: He looks rumatumdum keep him away from the eggnog or nothing will stand strait in this house.

Etymology:

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Tannenbum

artr

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: taninbəm

Sentence: No matter what it looks like in the lot, no matter how many ways he inspects them, Charlie*s yearly choice of a Christmas tree turns out to be a tannenbum slouching in the corner like an elf who*s had too much egg nog. Even the ornaments seem to droop on the tree rather than hang proudly.

Etymology: tannenbaum (German for fir tree/Christmas tree) + bum (a lazy or worthless person)

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Tipsel

libertybelle

Created by: libertybelle

Pronunciation: tip-sell

Sentence: It seemed our 8 foot inflatable Santa Clause was full of tipsel, as he even managed to droop over despite the bungee cords wrapping him to the banister. No more egg nog and cookies for him!!

Etymology: tip + tinsel

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Scrackerwhiff

Carla

Created by: Carla

Pronunciation: skrA-kuh-wif

Sentence: No matter how much Anne tried, she could not make the scrackerwhiff angel sit straight atop the tree. Eventually Anne gave up and turned to the sherry, in an attempt to get scrackerwhiffy herself.

Etymology: Cracker + Skew-whiff

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Christmasculated

Created by: Stevenson0

Pronunciation: kris/mas/kyuh/leyt/ed

Sentence: During our annual neigbourhood caroling, John's six eggnog and rum completely christmasculated him and it took two carolers to drag him around from house to house.

Etymology: Christmas + emasculated (flaccid, drooping)

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Holidaze

Created by: milorush

Pronunciation: (n.)hŏl'ĭ-dāz'; (v. intr.)hŏl'ĭ-dāz'; (adj.)hŏl'ĭ-dāzd'

Sentence: My Uncle Arlen spends most every Christmas holidazed on cheap wine and a lifetime of regret.

Etymology: holi[day] + daze(d)

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COMMENTS:

I know this was an obvious one, but I couldn't resist. - milorush, 2007-12-10: 13:47:00

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Comments:

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2007-12-10: 01:39:00
Today's definition was suggested by purpleartichokes Thank you purpleartichokes ~ James

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2009-12-17: 00:14:00
Today's definition was suggested by purpleartichokes. Thank you purpleartichokes. ~ James