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'Why can't you get it up?'

DEFINITION: n., A Christmas tree, ornament or caroler that, no matter how it is tied, tethered and tilted, refuses to stay upright. v., To be so full of Christmas cheer that you simply sparkle, twinkle and tip over.

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Verboticisms

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Tannenbum

artr

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: taninbəm

Sentence: No matter what it looks like in the lot, no matter how many ways he inspects them, Charlie*s yearly choice of a Christmas tree turns out to be a tannenbum slouching in the corner like an elf who*s had too much egg nog. Even the ornaments seem to droop on the tree rather than hang proudly.

Etymology: tannenbaum (German for fir tree/Christmas tree) + bum (a lazy or worthless person)

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Needleviagra

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: nee dil vy ag ra

Sentence: When Dick brought the scraggly Christmas Tree home, he knew as soon as he brought it in the house that it was not as straight and bushy as it had looked in the tree lot. He also knew he'd never hear the end of it from his wife,Carol, who criticized him for bringing such a crooked tree home. "What kind of a conifer do you call that, Dick? It's like the Leaning Tower of Pisa." "It's a new breed of fir called Needleviagra. One little blue pill in the water and it will soon be the lovely erect tree you wanted!"

Etymology: Needle (the "leaves" on a coniferous tree;to goad or prooke) & Viagra (Male virility drug)

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Pisaster

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: peez as ter

Sentence: Brad and Kate's first Christmas together as a married couple had been one misfortune after another. It apparently is better to remove the turkey innards before stuffing the bird. Who knew eggnog was made with raw eggs? Pet poodles should not eat fresh mistletoe. Plus Brad had picked out a spindly Christmas Tree which leaned and wobbled under the weight of its decorations. It was a Pisaster Pine, decorated with bows of folly, fa la la la la la, la la la la! It was unfirgiveable, needleless to say. Kate got busy and tried to hide its flaws with tinsel and garlands, but there was no hope of making it a stately evergreen. It was a Tannenbum! When both sets of parents arrived for Christmas dinner, Kate & Brad were surprised not to be criticized for their coniferous conundrum. Brad's gruffy Dad said the only thing to do in this case, was to put some Viagra in the tree water to keep it upright. Apparently his bark was worse than his bite!

Etymology: Pisa (The leaning Tower of) & Disaster (a state of extreme (usually irremediable) ruin and misfortune "His policies were a disaster";an event resulting in great loss and misfortune)

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COMMENTS:

Love the reference! - emdeejay, 2008-12-15: 02:52:00

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Tiltinsel

Created by: logarithm

Pronunciation: tIlt-tIn-sEl

Sentence: Our Christmas tree last year was a tiltinsel that we jokingly called it a gay Christmas tree for it just wouldn't stand up straight.

Etymology: 1) Tilt: to lean on one side or in one direction; be or become inclined or slanted. 2) Tinsel: a glittering material with a metallic appearance that is produced in strips, sheets, or the like and used for its decorative effect, esp. at Christmas.

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Tornament

Created by: drkesper

Pronunciation:

Sentence:

Etymology:

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Cheerlapidated

Created by: emdeejay

Pronunciation: cheer lappy dated

Sentence: Try as they might, Jenny and James could not get the old tree to stand upright. It had seen them through many a festive season, but it was time to retire the cheerlapidated old thing.

Etymology: Cheer: as in, Christmas Cheer. Delapidated: run down, worn out, etc.

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COMMENTS:

Beauty Newk. - OZZIEBOB, 2008-12-17: 04:07:00

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Leanerflop

Created by: abrakadeborah

Pronunciation: Lean-er-flop

Sentence: To mush eggnog is not a good thing when you're trying to decorate a meshed up Chrishmash tree. Shusie tried to tell Joshiff that tree was unstable...When all of a sudden it crashed down on the table! In frustration,Joshiff tied it to the TV and said, "Aw,Shusie that leanerflop Chrishmash tree has gotten the besh of me,it's time for more eggnog my shwee-tee...I'll jush lean over to trim the tree."

Etymology: Lean; To bend or slant away from the vertical. Flop;To fall or lie down heavily and noisily, To move about loosely or limply

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Yuletip

Created by: remistram

Pronunciation: yool-tip

Sentence: Harry had too much egg nog that night and inconspicuously disappeared. They gathered over to the washroom door and peaked in. He had yuletipped with his head face down in the toilet.

Etymology: Yuletide (pertaining to the Christmas season) + tip (as in slope, slant, topple)

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Cheerleaner

Created by: rombus

Pronunciation: cheer - leen - ur

Sentence: Every year, the Moose Lodge got the guys together and went carolling around the community. It was quite festive and always got Murray in the spirit of things. This year, he was the cheerleaner of the group as he made the mistake of "having a few" with his buddies first.

Etymology: cheer (source of joy or happiness as in "holiday cheer).... lean (To bend or slant away from the vertical). Also a play on the word cheerleader (one who leads cheers)....

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COMMENTS:

apolloedge Perfect! - apolloedge, 2008-12-15: 22:15:00

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Blitzened

Created by: bzav1

Pronunciation: blits + end

Sentence: I got totally blitzened at the staff Chistmas party, and knocked the full punch bowl into the boss's wife's lap, during my karaoke rendition of O Holy Night.

Etymology: drunk + the reindeer harnessed beside Donder

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COMMENTS:

well you did 'fall on your knees' but did you 'hear the angel voices'? - Jabberwocky, 2007-12-10: 16:16:00

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Comments:

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2007-12-10: 01:39:00
Today's definition was suggested by purpleartichokes Thank you purpleartichokes ~ James

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2009-12-17: 00:14:00
Today's definition was suggested by purpleartichokes. Thank you purpleartichokes. ~ James