Vote for the best verboticism.

'Why can't you get it up?'

DEFINITION: n., A Christmas tree, ornament or caroler that, no matter how it is tied, tethered and tilted, refuses to stay upright. v., To be so full of Christmas cheer that you simply sparkle, twinkle and tip over.

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Verboticisms

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Pisaster

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: peez as ter

Sentence: Brad and Kate's first Christmas together as a married couple had been one misfortune after another. It apparently is better to remove the turkey innards before stuffing the bird. Who knew eggnog was made with raw eggs? Pet poodles should not eat fresh mistletoe. Plus Brad had picked out a spindly Christmas Tree which leaned and wobbled under the weight of its decorations. It was a Pisaster Pine, decorated with bows of folly, fa la la la la la, la la la la! It was unfirgiveable, needleless to say. Kate got busy and tried to hide its flaws with tinsel and garlands, but there was no hope of making it a stately evergreen. It was a Tannenbum! When both sets of parents arrived for Christmas dinner, Kate & Brad were surprised not to be criticized for their coniferous conundrum. Brad's gruffy Dad said the only thing to do in this case, was to put some Viagra in the tree water to keep it upright. Apparently his bark was worse than his bite!

Etymology: Pisa (The leaning Tower of) & Disaster (a state of extreme (usually irremediable) ruin and misfortune "His policies were a disaster";an event resulting in great loss and misfortune)

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COMMENTS:

Love the reference! - emdeejay, 2008-12-15: 02:52:00

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Duglistfir

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: dug list fur

Sentence: The town fathers had ordered a large evergreen to be planted in the main square, so that it may be decorated each Christmas Season as the "First Tree". A huge Douglas Fir had been imported from the West and although healthy and full, it had a definite lean to it. They nicknamed it the DuglistFir. At first people laughed at the Leaning Tree, but miraculously on Christmas Eve it had straightened out and stood erect. The people were amazed until they realized that this change was inevitable. The town in question was not called Viagra Falls for nothing!

Etymology: Dug (created by digging); List (lean or tilt to one side) & Fir (any of various evergreen trees of the genus Abies; chiefly of upland areas, popular as a Christmas Tree)and word play on Douglas Fir (tall evergreen timber tree of western North America having resinous wood and short needles)

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Fallallallallall

Created by: Jabberwocky

Pronunciation: fall/all/all/all/all

Sentence: It was a Christmas tradition for the carolers to carry heavily spiked eggnog to ward off the chill winds and heavy snow but by the time they got half way through their route the chorus of deck the halls seemed most appropriate as they fallallallallalled into a deep snowdrift.

Etymology: fall all + Deck the halls with boughs of holly, Fa la la la la, la la la la.

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COMMENTS:

Heh heh...been there and done that. Excellent work - Mustang, 2008-12-15: 08:37:00

Creatively funny! My second vote for today goes to you! - logarithm, 2008-12-15: 09:36:00

artr Love it. Very funny - artr, 2008-12-15: 13:26:00

It's catchy, too. The alliteration is kinda drunken sounding. - Ismelstar, 2008-12-16: 00:07:00

Terrific - OZZIEBOB, 2008-12-17: 04:05:00

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Yulebriate

Created by: OZZIEBOB

Pronunciation: yool-EE-bree-eyt

Sentence: At first, Bob yulebriated with a sublime sparkle; only, in the end, to stumble and tumble into a 'silent night' of mistlethroes and noelethargy.

Etymology: YULE (OE: Christmas) & EBRIATE: to sparkle with a emotion + to make or be drunk - and all its' permutations, esp staying upright.

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Tannenbombed

artr

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: tah-nuh n-bomd

Sentence: Jerry could not remember the words to "Oh Cristmas Tree" because he was completely tannenbombed.

Etymology: Tannenbaum (Christmas Tree) + bombed (completely intoxicated; drunk)

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Holidaze

Created by: milorush

Pronunciation: (n.)hŏl'ĭ-dāz'; (v. intr.)hŏl'ĭ-dāz'; (adj.)hŏl'ĭ-dāzd'

Sentence: My Uncle Arlen spends most every Christmas holidazed on cheap wine and a lifetime of regret.

Etymology: holi[day] + daze(d)

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COMMENTS:

I know this was an obvious one, but I couldn't resist. - milorush, 2007-12-10: 13:47:00

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Everlean

artr

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: evərlēn

Sentence: Horace is no good at picking Christmas trees. No matter how good it looked in the lot, every tree he took home was an everlean. Somewhere between the tree lot and home the trunk would develop a bend. A few years ago he thought he could dupe the fates by buying an artificial tree. No such luck. Somehow it was damaged in transit and it too refused to stand upright.

Etymology: ever (at all times; always)+ lean (be in or move into a sloping position)

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COMMENTS:

But my dad's name isn't Horace. He was also great at finding trees with major bare spots. - wayoffcenter, 2008-12-15: 04:49:00

Nice one! My vote #1 for you. - logarithm, 2008-12-15: 09:34:00

Nice - OZZIEBOB, 2008-12-17: 04:06:00

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Gyreveload

metrohumanx

Created by: metrohumanx

Pronunciation: jai-REV-uhl-ode...(gyrevelers, gyreveloaded)

Sentence: Mike and Christie thought they'd opt for a "real" Christmas tree this year, so they drove out to the countryside and purchased one from a reputable dealer who had set up shop in the parking lot of a defunct diner. When unwrapped, the tree turned out to be a real GYREVELOAD...crooked, unstable and surrounded by a festive brown heap of highly flammable droppings...much like the guy in the parking lot. It would take a kilo of fruitcake and a few litres of liberally spiked eggnog to get GYREVELOADED this special evening. Ho Ho Ho :)

Etymology: GYRate+rEVELry+lOAD=GYREVELOAD....GYRATE: revolve quickly and repeatedly around one's own axis,to oscillate with a circular or spiral motion; French-1856.....REVELRY:noisy partying or merrymaking; 15th century.....LOAD:the quantity that can be carried at one time by a specified means,a mass or weight supported by something,something that weighs down the mind or spirits,an intoxicating amount of liquor drunk; Middle English lod, from Old English lād support, carrying-12th century

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COMMENTS:

metrohumanx http://isitchristmas.com/ - metrohumanx, 2008-12-17: 01:03:00

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Needleviagra

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: nee dil vy ag ra

Sentence: When Dick brought the scraggly Christmas Tree home, he knew as soon as he brought it in the house that it was not as straight and bushy as it had looked in the tree lot. He also knew he'd never hear the end of it from his wife,Carol, who criticized him for bringing such a crooked tree home. "What kind of a conifer do you call that, Dick? It's like the Leaning Tower of Pisa." "It's a new breed of fir called Needleviagra. One little blue pill in the water and it will soon be the lovely erect tree you wanted!"

Etymology: Needle (the "leaves" on a coniferous tree;to goad or prooke) & Viagra (Male virility drug)

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Slanta

artr

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: slantə

Sentence: Tim is full of the Christmas spirit. More accurately he is full of Christmas spirits. He is a regular Slanta. Upright is not in his current skill set. Another cup of nog and it could be a case of Slanta Crawls.

Etymology: slant (slope or lean in a particular direction) + Santa (an imaginary figure said to bring presents for children on Christmas)

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Comments:

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2007-12-10: 01:39:00
Today's definition was suggested by purpleartichokes Thank you purpleartichokes ~ James

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2009-12-17: 00:14:00
Today's definition was suggested by purpleartichokes. Thank you purpleartichokes. ~ James