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'Why do you always carry that file folder?'

DEFINITION: n. A prop (e.g. papers, files or any non-functional equipment) used to create the illusion of busyness. v. To use office supplies to create the illusion that you are working.

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Verboticisms

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Figmendation

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: fig men day shun

Sentence: As a long time civil servant in the federal Department of the Obscure and Forgotten Files, Roger was the King of the Toadies. He spent his entire workday carrying around a file folder which was labelled S.M.A.R.T. It looked very official and proved to the innocent bystander or visitor that Roger was a man with a special mission and purpose in his work. In fact the S.M.A.R.T. File was a figmendation. It usually contained a crossword puzzle or scratch & win cards, which Roger would spend his days at work playing. His co-workers thought that the S.M.A.R.T. stood for Segregated Modules Actualizing Relative Theory. In fact, the S.M.A.R.T. acronym actually stood for See Me Avoiding Real Toil. Yes, Roger was also known by his more popular nickname: The SmartFile Dodger!

Etymology: figment (a contrived or fantastic idea, i.e: a figment of the imagination) & mendacious (intentionally untrue;lying)

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COMMENTS:

metrohumanx Did Riger work at the Texas Blog Suppository? Ya crack me up, Nose! - metrohumanx, 2008-08-06: 16:37:00

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Mockpetit

Created by: scrabbelicious

Pronunciation: Mock-pet-eet

Sentence: Mike liked the comfort of a mockpetit, I suppose it satisfied his amateur-actor workplace persona.

Etymology: Noun, a hybrid of the noun Mock (fake) and petite meaning small and toy-like.

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COMMENTS:

metrohumanx OOh- double word score! very good. - metrohumanx, 2008-08-06: 16:35:00

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Suppliesguise

mrskellyscl

Created by: mrskellyscl

Pronunciation: sup-plies-guys

Sentence: Herb was office supply guy and had charge of the stock room; however, we knew him as the "suppliesguise" because he'd spend the entire day running back and forth with paper, folders and what not just to make himself look busier than he really was. That wasn't so bad, but when anyone asked him to get supplies for them his response was, "I'm sorry, I'm too busy. You'll have to get it yourself!"

Etymology: supplies: provisions; furnish or equip + guise: an artful or simulated pretense

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Fileusion

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: fyl loo zhun

Sentence: He was the Great Pretender in our office. Sadly, because he was a male, he got away with it for way longer than any female would even dare try. Yes, Seymour Dolittle, was a fileusion. He would stalk the halls carrying a file folder and pretend to "do his rounds" with nothing more than what turned out to be a pizza place menu and and a bus schedule in his file folder. He fooled the senior management for over 5 years (the ladies in the company twigged on after a year or two, but had nowhere to lodge their concerns). When the cuts came, no one could salvage Seymour, as he worked for no one, did not report to anyone and could never successfully explain his presence in the hallowed halls. Luckily for him, he worked long enough to collect a great pension, unemployment insurance and a tasty severance for all his hard-worked time. Nice work if you can get it...and he wasn't even a CEO of anything!

Etymology: File (a set of related records (either written or electronic) kept together) & Illusion (an erroneous mental representation; the act of deluding; deception by creating illusory ideas; an illusory feat; considered magical by naive observers)

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Camoufraud

Created by: Mustang

Pronunciation: CAM - oh - frod

Sentence: Maurice is a complete phony, inept in his job and short of actual job knowledge so in order to deceive his employers and fellow employees he regularly committed camoufraud, carrying file folders and other work related objects in an effort to create the illusion that he was fully engaged in work efforts.

Etymology: Blend of camouflage and fraud.

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COMMENTS:

metrohumanx There was abuffoon called Maurice__Who carried around a valise__He shunned so much labor__not even his neighbor__could say if he's live or deceased. - metrohumanx, 2008-08-06: 16:47:00

The best! - lumina, 2008-08-06: 23:51:00

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Dosserier

Created by: galwaywegian

Pronunciation: dosss err eee ay

Sentence: he carried his dosserier with him everywhere, adding different coloured stickies each month or so to keep it looking fresh. He called it his licence to kill....time.

Etymology: dossier, dosser

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COMMENTS:

Hopefully the use of his dosserier won't come back to kick him in the dosserriere. - Clayton, 2007-06-13: 07:48:00

Maybe he carried it in a fanny pack - Jabberwocky, 2007-06-13: 09:26:00

How cheeky! - purpleartichokes, 2007-06-13: 10:36:00

i hate to butt in, but is there no rear end to these pun threads?! - jadenguy, 2007-06-13: 11:41:00

ooh that reminds me - it's lunchtime and now I'm in the moods for buns - Jabberwocky, 2007-06-13: 12:10:00

oops I meant mood - Jabberwocky, 2007-06-13: 12:11:00

I'm thinking it would be out-of-line to make a comment about sticky buns, but the air conditioner isn't working in my office today. - purpleartichokes, 2007-06-13: 12:36:00

Such a tool would be perfect for hiding the fact that you're just bumming around instead of working your @$$ off. - ErWenn, 2007-06-13: 14:05:00

Some might say you should just turn the other cheek, jadenguy, but I'm behind you 100% if you want to get to the bottom of this problem. - ErWenn, 2007-06-13: 14:10:00

Rear end to the pun threads? Tush, tush. I've got a haunch we'll be back end the saddle tomorrow. Now, let me hit the can and we can all go grab a Heinie. Fanny that I should put it that way... I've been glute to my seat the hole day. Sorry, that last one was for posteriority. - Clayton, 2007-06-13: 14:34:00

OMG Clayton and ErWenn! Too fanny! - purpleartichokes, 2007-06-13: 14:45:00

I think we should put an ASSterisk beside this definition - Jabberwocky, 2007-06-13: 14:47:00

i'm sorry if I came off a little anal before, as i didn't mean to be so stern. but i just find puns comical garbage that we'll always keep with us, but like junk in the trunk of your car that you forget about for as long as possible, bodonkadonk on wood. - jadenguy, 2007-06-13: 16:59:00

LMAO!! - purpleartichokes, 2007-06-13: 17:46:00

petaj No butts about it, my friend laughed so hard it rectum! - petaj, 2007-06-14: 04:29:00

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Pendupe

sanssouci

Created by: sanssouci

Pronunciation: pen doop

Sentence: "I think I am going to pendupe for a while, I can't be botherd to do anymore work today but don't want Mr Stone to think I'm not pulling my weight in the office."

Etymology: pen - any of various instruments for writing or drawing with ink or a similar substance. A pen is a writing implement," c.1300, from O.Fr. penne "quill pen, feather," dupe - to make a dupe of; deceive; delude; trick. Dupe orriginates from 1680s, from Fr. dupe "deceived person," from M.Fr. duppe (early 15c.), thieves' jargon, probably from phrase de huppe "of the hoopoe," an extravagantly crested and reputedly stupid bird.

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Propcupie

Mrgoodtimes

Created by: Mrgoodtimes

Pronunciation: prahp- cue - pie

Sentence: Looking over his desk, John wondered which of his propcupies to bring with him on his daily walk to the vending machine. He knew he had to walk with pace and urgency to develop the right volume of sweat on his brow, but also the right iPad, laptop, red binder, 90's beeper, bluetooth, box labeled "Fragile" combo was key to success.

Etymology: Prop - occupy

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Shirkprop

Created by: OZZIEBOB

Pronunciation: SHURK-prop

Sentence: Bob was a fauxbullient gizbo, but most of all he was a scheming skirkprop.

Etymology: SHIRK: One who lives by shifts and tricks; one who avoids the performance of duty or labor& PROP: any movable articles, item or objects used on the set of a play or movie;

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COMMENTS:

Bob sounds like a complete fauxny. Shirkbait? Good word! - Mustang, 2008-08-06: 05:35:00

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Fibdjet

giveaphuk

Created by: giveaphuk

Pronunciation: Fib De Jet

Sentence: she fibdjeted with pieces of paper while looking @ the clock waiting from home time.

Etymology: Fib = to like & djet - ending of word fidget - meaning to behave or move nervously or restlessly.

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Comments:

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2007-06-13: 00:01:00
The "S" in Timothy Johnson's GUST stands for Strategy. And strategy is key! Especially if you are trying to get way with doing nothing. Today's definition was suggested by remistram. Thank you remistram and Timothy! ~ James

Rebekah - 2009-11-05: 18:33:00
Protaskinate

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2010-01-07: 00:38:00
Today's definition was suggested by remistram. Thank you remistram. ~ James