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'Why do you always carry that file folder?'

DEFINITION: n. A prop (e.g. papers, files or any non-functional equipment) used to create the illusion of busyness. v. To use office supplies to create the illusion that you are working.

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Verboticisms

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Portfonio

artr

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: pôrtˈfōnēˌō

Sentence: Gerry has all the correct business props, the pinstripe suit, the proper tie, the Blackberry. He is never seen without his portfolio. The truth; the suit is a cheap knock-off; the tie, a clip-on; Blackberry, a much too expensive cell phone and the portfolio, a portfonio that holds nothing more than his lunch.

Etymology: portfolio (a large, thin, flat case for loose sheets of paper such as drawings or maps) + phony (not genuine; fraudulent)

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Assidupicity

Created by: jesster

Pronunciation: Ass-id-you-plicity

Sentence: While Neville's constant assiduplicity never fooled the people that actually accomplished things, management was completely taken in. He was promoted so frequently that his failures never caught up to him, and soon was in charge of the entire department.

Etymology: assiduous (involved in often constant activity )+ duplicity (the inclination or practice of misleading others through lies or trickery)

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Simulaborig

metrohumanx

Created by: metrohumanx

Pronunciation: SIM-uhl-AY-bore-ig

Sentence: The Bearded One entered with a brushed-aluminum clipboard under his arm, knowing it would cause a stir amongst the real workers. Every week he carried a new SIMULABORIG which gave the impression of semi-competence and enthusiasm which fooled no one. Last time it was a P.D.A. which made his productivity plummet faster than his dignity. His vain attempts to impress the boss ranged from a simple legal pad to a glowing little spaceship planted in his ear. Last year he attemped to SIMULABORIG a staff meeting but the only wireless hotspot was behind his sweaty forehead. The office joke was that he had a whole toybox full of SIMULABORIGS to shamelessly display at every opportunity. His manifolderol seemed to have no end. He would always carry some ubiquitool, unencumbered by any knowledge of its function. Particularly fond of pseudotechnocrap, he subscribed to every high-end gizmoid catalog available. Despite the appearance of The Bearded One's weekly McGuffen, his job performance brought new meaning to the word "adequate".

Etymology: SIMUlate+lABOr+RIG=SIMULABORIG_____ simulate: to give or assume the appearance or effect of... often with the intent to deceive--Latin "simulatus", past participle of "simulare"... to copy, represent, feign, from similis "like"_____ labor: expenditure of physical or mental effort especially when difficult or compulsory-Middle English, from Anglo-French labur, from Latin labor; perhaps akin to Latin labare to totter, labi to slip_____rig: to make or construct hastily or in a makeshift manner-Me riggen,prob of Scand.orig____variations: simulaborite, simulaborana, simulaborat, simulaborology etc.

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COMMENTS:

metrohumanx http://isitchristmas.com/ - metrohumanx, 2008-08-06: 08:41:00

metrohumanx My name is MetrohumanX and I improve this message. - metrohumanx, 2008-08-06: 16:26:00

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Fileofaux

Created by: TJayzz

Pronunciation: Fy-el-o-foe

Sentence: Tarquin never went anywhere without his fileofaux, he wanted everyone to think he was extremely busy doing a very important job, when really he was just loafing around doing as little as possible.

Etymology: File(a folder for keeping loose papers in order) + Faux(artificial,imitation) ORIGIN French false = Fileofaux. See also filofax(a loose-leaf notebook for recording notes) ORIGIN representing a colloquial pronunciation of file of facts

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COMMENTS:

Fawny collision of meanings there TJ. Good word! - scrabbelicious, 2008-08-06: 06:48:00

metrohumanx File a foe under fiendish! - metrohumanx, 2008-08-06: 16:25:00

Great minds think alike...I had toyed with that word as well...isn't that fauxbulous! - Nosila, 2008-08-06: 21:52:00

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Excellusion

CharlieB

Created by: CharlieB

Pronunciation: ex-sell-usion

Sentence: You might think Bob is working hard on his spreadsheets. But they're not real. It's an excellusion.

Etymology: Excel (data spread sheets) + illusion (a false impression of reality)

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Shamanila

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: sha man ila

Sentence: Steve was the shamanila at the office. Most of his 8 hour shift was devoted to avoiding work. He had carried around his faithful manila folder daily trying to look busy. For 8 years he had fooled everyone. Until the day he got his new manager, Liz. She asked him to write out his job description. How in the world was he going to turn his one sentence actual duties (Carries around a file folder.) into a whole page or two of action verbs and activities?

Etymology: Sham (a person who makes deceitful pretenses;something that is a counterfeit; not what it seems to be) & Manila (a strong paper or thin cardboard with a smooth light brown finish made from e.g. Manila hemp & Shaman (one who practices sorcery)

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Assumetote

Created by: jadenguy

Pronunciation: as OOM tot

Sentence: Like a vampire hunter to the cross, he lept across his cubicle and grabbed a stack of printed material on company letterhead as his boss approached; his assumetote being just enough of a ruse to confuse his superior for perhaps another week. His smokescreen-jobsaver spreadsheet was already drawing suspicion as to exactly how much time he spent playing internet word games!

Etymology: assume + tote + asymptote assume (people assume you are working ) + tote (to carry) + asymptote (to infinitely approach something (work))

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COMMENTS:

yeah, like people play internet word games at work! implausible. - jadenguy, 2007-06-13: 11:40:00

Can I have a copy of that spreadsheet? - purpleartichokes, 2007-06-13: 13:52:00

you come up with very creative sentences jadenguy - Jabberwocky, 2007-06-13: 14:51:00

i try. i try. - jadenguy, 2007-06-13: 17:12:00

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Fillusion

protothor

Created by: protothor

Pronunciation: fillusion

Sentence: This fillusion is working very well; no one even expects I'm not doing anything.

Etymology: From 'file' and 'illusion', anything that gives an observer the idea that you're preoccupied.

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Figmendation

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: fig men day shun

Sentence: As a long time civil servant in the federal Department of the Obscure and Forgotten Files, Roger was the King of the Toadies. He spent his entire workday carrying around a file folder which was labelled S.M.A.R.T. It looked very official and proved to the innocent bystander or visitor that Roger was a man with a special mission and purpose in his work. In fact the S.M.A.R.T. File was a figmendation. It usually contained a crossword puzzle or scratch & win cards, which Roger would spend his days at work playing. His co-workers thought that the S.M.A.R.T. stood for Segregated Modules Actualizing Relative Theory. In fact, the S.M.A.R.T. acronym actually stood for See Me Avoiding Real Toil. Yes, Roger was also known by his more popular nickname: The SmartFile Dodger!

Etymology: figment (a contrived or fantastic idea, i.e: a figment of the imagination) & mendacious (intentionally untrue;lying)

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COMMENTS:

metrohumanx Did Riger work at the Texas Blog Suppository? Ya crack me up, Nose! - metrohumanx, 2008-08-06: 16:37:00

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Shirkprop

Created by: OZZIEBOB

Pronunciation: SHURK-prop

Sentence: Bob was a fauxbullient gizbo, but most of all he was a scheming skirkprop.

Etymology: SHIRK: One who lives by shifts and tricks; one who avoids the performance of duty or labor& PROP: any movable articles, item or objects used on the set of a play or movie;

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COMMENTS:

Bob sounds like a complete fauxny. Shirkbait? Good word! - Mustang, 2008-08-06: 05:35:00

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Comments:

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2007-06-13: 00:01:00
The "S" in Timothy Johnson's GUST stands for Strategy. And strategy is key! Especially if you are trying to get way with doing nothing. Today's definition was suggested by remistram. Thank you remistram and Timothy! ~ James

Rebekah - 2009-11-05: 18:33:00
Protaskinate

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2010-01-07: 00:38:00
Today's definition was suggested by remistram. Thank you remistram. ~ James