Vote for the best verboticism.
DEFINITION: n. A computer programmer who corrects software problems by bugging the users, rather than debugging the software. v. To pinpoint the blame for any defects in a product, especially a software product which you have created, on "illogical" end-users.
Verboticisms
Click on each verboticism to read the sentences created by the Verbotomy writers, and to see your voting options...
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Softwarrior
Created by: Tigger
Pronunciation: /sawft-WOR-ee-er/
Sentence: Bert, the department's IT Specialist, was a fanatical softwarrior, who would attack any of the mere users who dared to question the quality of their software. He fancied himself a sort of cyber-paladin, defender of the virtuous programmers who constructed such intricate code. Of course, Bert was sure that he could have joined their ranks, and that the brotherhood of programmers would welcome him with open arms, but he believed that his calling was here, at the front lines, keeping the unappreciative and discontented mobs of peasants... er, users, at bay.
Etymology: Software - the programs used to direct the operation of a computer (back-formation from the word 'hardware' as applied to computer equipment) + Warrior - one who is engaged aggressively or energetically in an activity, cause, or conflict (from Old North French, werreieur "one who wages war")
Userabuser
Created by: Stevenson0
Pronunciation: use/er/a/buse/er
Sentence: Our IT department specializes in the userabuser technique to solve most computer problems. It's the "It's got to be you' approach.
Etymology: user + abuse
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COMMENTS:
Must be included in their tech training classes... - Nosila, 2009-06-26: 12:37:00
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Notit
Created by: artr
Pronunciation: nätit
Sentence: Whenever a computer problem is exposed Wendel sings out "Notit" much like a kid at the start of a game of tag. Of course when he said "it", he meant IT. Though he has never actually created a single usable document, spreadsheet or database, he just knows that any problem that pops up is the fault of the peons that work for his company. If only he could keep these knuckleheads from monkeying with his network... He would express his disdain in an e-mail if he could spell it.
Etymology: not (used with an auxiliary verb or “be” to form the negative) + it (pronoun [third person singular]) IT (Information Technology)
Blamebomb
Created by: artr
Pronunciation: blāmbäm
Sentence: When Jessica emailed a complaint about software developed by her company's software department, someone appeared at her cubicle almost immediately. After a couple of terse questions, he blamebombed her and huffed his way back to wherever it is these people hide out.
Etymology: blame (assign responsibility for a fault or wrong) + bomb (attack)
Virtualtercation
Created by: bookowl
Pronunciation: vur/tu/al/tur/cay/shun
Sentence: I had a virtualtercation with IT today.
Etymology: virtual + altercation
Technillogicrat
Created by: Mustang
Pronunciation: tech - neh - LODJ - uh - crat
Sentence: Having an overblown ego and chutzpah to match, Cranston was a technillogicrat in the extreme who would never admit ignorance but would always blame everyone and everything else for things he could not remedy.
Etymology: Blend of 'technical' and 'illogical' with suffix '-crat'...member of a dominant class
Progcastigator
Created by: Jabberwocky
Pronunciation: prog/cass/ti/gay/tor
Sentence: Many software developers are progcastigators who put off reworking their programs and instead berate users.
Etymology: programmer + castigate (reprimand, berate) + procrastinator
Progrimist
Created by: arrrteest
Pronunciation: pro-grim-ist
Sentence: Victor the Progrimist was scheduled to do his rounds on the floor at 10:00 a.m. on Tuesdays. The employees all held a meeting to discuss what problems they had beforehand so they would be prepared for his sarcastic and abusive ways and attitude. They even took a poll to see who's problem would probably attract the most ire and ridicule from him. Every once in a while they would concoct a fake IT problem just to see him react if there was not many issues to discuss.
Etymology: Program + grim +ist
Techsuppose
Created by: mrskellyscl
Pronunciation: tek-sup-pose
Sentence: Jean hated to call Techsuppose. Not only would it take half the day to reach someone, but the smarmy voice on the other end of the phone assumed that she was an imbecile and asked the same stupid questions, "Is it plugged in?" "Did you restart it?" Eventually, she discovered that someone neglected to use the "Mother-May-I" command during set-up and now she'd have to spend the rest of the afternoon downloading various patches, drivers, upgrades and fixes. Another day sacrificed to the tyrannical techgods.
Etymology: (play on techsupport) Suppose: to believe, especially on uncertain or tentative grounds; to consider as probable or likely
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COMMENTS:
So true! - splendiction, 2009-06-26: 22:53:00
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Comments:
Today's definition was suggested by purpleartichokes. Thank you purpleartichokes. ~ James
Today's definition was suggested by purpleartichokes. Thank you purpleartichokes. ~ James
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