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'Yikes! Spring is almost here and this stupid scale is still wrong.'

DEFINITION: n. That sinking feeling you get when you realize that you will be shedding your winter coat, before you can possibly shed the extra layer of insulation (i.e. fat) that you gained over the winter. v. To worry about your weight.

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Verboticisms

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Dressimism

mrskellyscl

Created by: mrskellyscl

Pronunciation: dress-i-mi-zm

Sentence: Cheryl was dressimistic about her chances of fitting into the fabulous little frock she bought for the Spring Gala. Being a weightalist by nature, she just knew that her weight was sealed because both her life and the dress were unalterable.

Etymology: dress + pessimism: a tendency to see the gloomiest view of a situation

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Hibermodelosis

Created by: w5lf9s

Pronunciation: hy.ber.mo.del.oh.sis

Sentence: "I can't even see my toes when I'm standing on the scale" he whined. "Not unless you turn the light on", she replied flicking the switch. He was a clear case of hibermodelosis to her.

Etymology: The pathological need (psychosis) to get through the winter (hibernate)looking like a model and the resulting and unavoidable depression

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Pudjitters

Created by: iwasatripwire

Pronunciation: pudge-itters

Sentence: Just thinking about bikinis gives me the pudjitters

Etymology: pudgy + jitters

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Lipidowner

Created by: magenta

Pronunciation: li-pi-dau-ner

Sentence: I was on such a high today until I got on the scales - what a lipidowner that was.

Etymology: lipids(fats) + downer

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Woewoewoeyourbloat

artr

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: woh-woh-woh-yoor-bloht

Sentence: woewoewoeyourbloat 'nuff to make you scream verily verily verily verily we'll have no more ice cream

Etymology: Woe (an exclamation of grief, distress, or lamentation) + bloat (to become swollen; be puffed out or dilated) A play on (song) Row, row, row your boat

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Exertsighs

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: ex ert syz

Sentence: Every year at this time, Phyllis Withbread, goes through the agony of how much winter weight she has gained. In an effort to try a lose a few pounds, she races herself each year to lose weight before the snow all melts. Between meagre diet and exertsighs, she tries to ruminweight about her extra pounds and kilos. Luckily for Phyllis, the snow won't be gone until May or June, so she will have longer to fight the Battle of the Bulge, the Scales of Injustice and the Mounds of Pounds.

Etymology: Exercise (the activity of exerting your muscles in various ways to keep fit) & Exert (make a great effort at a mental or physical task) & Sighs (heave or utter a sigh; breathe deeply and heavily)

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Expostfatto

Created by: Discoveria

Pronunciation: Ex-post-fat-toe

Sentence: Brenda was more blue than the blues, more down than the Downs, and more depressed than her mattress springs. She was experiencing the post-Christmas dieter's syndrome of expostfatto.

Etymology: From "ex post facto", a legal term referring to laws that change the legal status of events that happened before the law is enacted. (i.e. Hoping that the effect of overeating can be changed.)

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COMMENTS:

The mattress reference is hillarious!! - purpleartichokes, 2007-02-28: 06:42:00

Took me a while to think up...but I didn't want to get rid of the beginning of the sentence! - Discoveria, 2007-02-28: 07:49:00

Silly, but amusing. - ErWenn, 2007-02-28: 11:57:00

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Blimpblight

Created by: quippingqueen

Pronunciation: blimp/blite

Sentence: As she ambled across the room like an elephant, she realized that her nightly forays into the refrigerator foraging for leftovers was the cause of a bothersome state her husband often referred to as blimpblight.

Etymology: blimp + blight

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Springdumb

Created by: BMott

Pronunciation: spring-dumb

Sentence: She realized she had suffered a case of springdumb all winter as she munched on twinkies to keep the winter blues at bay, forgetting that spring bikinis would soon be in fashion.

Etymology: Spring: That lovely time of year when everything blooms, but your body isn't supposed to. -- Dumb: The ability to ignore the obvious.

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Poundxiety

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: pownd zuy etee

Sentence: When Betsey lived in Montana, she dreaded Spring, because her poundxiety would return. She knew she had gained some pounds over Christmas and winter and had a hard time losing it. At her doctor's office, the scale read 187 pounds...thirty more than normal for her. When her husband was transferred to Canada, she was delighted to find that at her new doctor's office, she only weighed in at 85...she figured all the effort and stress of the move had helped her slim down,until her doctor pointed out that her weight was measured here in kilograms. He told her that if she had transferred to England, she'd only weigh 13.35 (stone that is).

Etymology: Pounds (weight measurement, especially of the body) & Anxiety ( a vague unpleasant emotion that is experienced in anticipation of some (usually ill-defined) misfortune;a relatively permanent state of anxiety occurring in a variety of mental disorders)

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Comments:

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2007-02-28: 00:08:31
Today's definition was suggested by purpleartichokes.
Thank you purpleartichokes! ~ James