Vote for the best verboticism.
DEFINITION: v. To call a phone "help line" and spend 45 minutes pushing buttons and screaming at dumb voice-recognition system, before being automatically disconnected. n. A push-button or voice-activated phone menu system designed to irritate those who use it.
Verboticisms
Click on each verboticism to read the sentences created by the Verbotomy writers, and to see your voting options...
You have two votes. Click on the words to read the details, then vote your favorite.
Oblivicurse
Created by: pieceof314
Pronunciation: uh-bliv-eh-kers
Sentence: Jonesy had a secret life. Under the happy facade or bubbliness and congeniality, she was really a curmudgeon and a misanthrope. She was a call center operator script engineer. She was responsible for the impossible recursive loop design that would often frustrate callers. With each possible combination, she would oblivicurse the respondant with a multitude of irrelavent, ambiguous and time consuming questions that would often lead the person back to the beginning. With this, she would sit down and smile darkly.
Etymology: Oblivion + Curse
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COMMENTS:
Like that one, pieceof314...I just knew those IT types belonged to convens and every company has them! - Nosila, 2008-04-14: 19:43:00
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Vexmessaging
Created by: Nosila
Pronunciation: vex mess ajing
Sentence: Vexmessaging is described as what used to be a 2 minute inquiry call to a company, greeted by a pleasant, real live person, which has been replaced with a very long battle with an automatronic simulated human voice which does not give you enough options to get an answer. Vexmessaging gives companies the statistics that say their complaints this year are fewer. It is only because no one can get through to anyone to complain!!! Your call is important to us... indeed!
Etymology: Vex (to irritate, annoy,disturb the peace of mind of; afflict with mental agitation or distress;cause annoyance in;especially by minor irritations or be a mystery or bewildering to) & Messaging (sending a message or receiving one)& rhymes with Text Messaging (how everyone under 30 communicates in abbreviated codes, by cell phone/blackberry or other computerized device...even if they are in the same room as those with whom they communicating!)
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COMMENTS:
Covers it quite nicely. Great word! - Mustang, 2009-05-20: 04:58:00
so true - Jabberwocky, 2009-05-22: 13:15:00
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Autocommunifrustratilooplooploop
Created by: CanadianAndyCapp
Pronunciation: Or-tow-kom-U-ni-fruss-tray-tee-loop-loop-loop (with the final three loops said in an increasingly aggitated, high, strangulated manner)
Sentence: (Taken from a speech by General Ludd)...."...Tecno-phobes and Luddites unite! you have only the shackles of your automated communications and information data retrieval systems to lose. We have been tricked into believing that these "new and improved" technologies were developed to improve our lives. Not So! they are the subvertive systems by which we are brainwashed into surrendering our individual creative and social capabilities to the mind-numbing and straitjacket methods of the computerised system we are trying to use. For proof we need look no further than the omnipresent office automatic phone systems and their cunningly devised autocommunifrustratilooplooploop tortures. Arise, rebels of the future and reclaim your sanity and souls!!!!..." This message is recorded for public information. Please press one to repeat this message, Two for information on how to...........looplooploop
Etymology: Auto - Automatic (Constantly breaking down) / Communi - Communication (totally without intelligent substance) / Frustrati - Frustration (The Human condition) / Looplooploop (Go back to the beginning and start again-again-again)
Presstwosterloop
Created by: diyan627
Pronunciation: press two ster loop
Sentence: Tina spent an hour and forty-five minutes on the most insane, frustrating presstwosterloop scam her cell phone company is putting customers through. After explaining her situation to 7 representatives, they still owed her $350 for the "promotional phone" she got 4 months ago. The presstwosterloop didn't stop her ... She finally hung up and drove down to the store where she raised a ruckus until the manager got her problem taken care of. Or so he said.
Etymology: Press two (ah, the options!) + ster (one that is associated with, participates, does) + loop (circular action)
Voicerail
Created by: Nosila
Pronunciation: voyse rayl
Sentence: The worst offenders are the ones supposedly out there helping you. Places like government agencies, city services, big corporations,banks... virtually any company with more than 2 people working in it. Roy was like many frustrated people. His anger and fury were incensed even further by having to go through a voicemail system. Or as he called it, a voicerail system. The more menu options he had to go through, the more irate he became. He'd waste an hour tip-toeing through all these numbers only to have to contact "0" to speak to a live human, because none of these options concerned his query. Just as he was about to shoot his phone with his Smith & Wesson, he was told the correct transit number to take and when it would depart...sometimes it's quicker just to stand at the stop and wait an hour!
Etymology: Voice Mail (a computerized interactive system for storing, processing and reproducing verbal messages left through a conventional telephone network) & Rail (spread negative information about;criticize severely;complain bitterly;rebel against)
Vexchange
Created by: Nosila
Pronunciation: veks chaynj
Sentence: When Rory got the usual runaround on the voice-activated system of his telephone provider, he went crazy pushing numbers, trying to connect to the complaint department. He figured that this was their main vexchange and it took him 20 minutes of phone aggro before he was finally cut off. It is just as well that he did not reach a real human voice, as he would then have discovered that the agent worked half a world away and spoke English he had just learned in the past 6 months!Ma Bell was now Ma Dumbbell in his books.
Etymology: Vex (cause annoyance in; disturb, especially by minor irritations)& Exchange (a workplace that serves as a telecommunications facility where lines from telephones can be connected together to permit communication)
Limboloop
Created by: arrrteest
Pronunciation: lim-boe-loop
Sentence: Jason knew that as soon as the computer started acting funny he had to call the customer service hotline. This frustrated him to no end because he knew that he would have to enter in the model number, serial number, the product code and the color of the unit before he even got to the limboloop hell of regional call centers, problem troubleshooting, cream and sugar preference, and choice of wait time muzak, only to have to give the same information when transfered to a human voice with a Irish Catholic name and an Indian accent.
Etymology: limbo, a place or state of oblivion to which persons or things are regarded as being relegated when cast aside, forgotten, past, or out of date + loop,Something having a shape, order, or path of motion that is circular or curved over on itself.
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COMMENTS:
Great word. Matches the definition very nicely. - Mustang, 2008-04-15: 03:34:00
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Illedigitimate
Created by: stache
Pronunciation: ĭl'ĭ-dĭ-jĭt'ə-mĭt
Sentence: The illedigitemate "help" menu Bjorn reached when he called AT&T was all but helpful. After wearing a blister on his button finger and being irritated to the point of requiring three double gin-and-tonics he hung up and found the answer he needed in the help menu on his cell phone.
Etymology: meld of 'illegitimate' and 'digit' (finger)/'digital.'
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COMMENTS:
fun to say - Jabberwocky, 2008-04-14: 16:21:00
Uuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhm. Three double gin-and-tonics . . . I can almost taste the lime on my stirring digit. - doseydotes, 2008-04-14: 16:35:00
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Discontention
Created by: mweinmann
Pronunciation: dis - con - ten - shun
Sentence: There was a tremendous amount of discontention as Lyle continued to scream and pound the phone on the table; even after the automaton had disconnected the call. Lyle was convinced that the automated voice had become angry and annoyed with his yelling and "hung" up on him....which made him even more riled up. He wondered how he could ever get revenge on the digitalmoron. It was indeed the winter of his digital discontent and disconnect...
Etymology: disconnection (Unexpected termination of a telephone connection) --> discontent (dissatisfaction,longing for something better than the present situation) --> tension (a balance between and interplay of opposing elements or tendencies,a state of mental or emotional strain)--> contention (controvery,a contentious speech act, In packet mode communication networks, contention is a condition that arises when two or more data stations attempt to transmit at the same time over a shared channel):)
Comments:
Today's definition was suggested by silveryaspen. Thank you silveryaspen. ~ James
Jamagra - 2008-04-14: 07:25:00
I miss silveryaspen.
Mustang - 2008-04-15: 03:35:00
Where did silveryaspen go?
Silveryaspen has retired from active duty. But I am sure she is still creating Verboticisms in her head and saying wonderful things about all the Verbotomy Writers! ~ James
Mustang - 2008-04-16: 06:26:00
She is missed. She did indeed say some very nice things about Verbotomizers.
Today's definition was suggested by silveryaspen. Thank you silveryaspen. ~ James
readerwriter - 2009-05-20: 07:52:00
How long is summer vacation? Just trying to make plans...
We work flex hours, so it is variable. I will send out an announcement when we start anew. ~ James