Vote for the best verboticism.
DEFINITION: v. To call a phone "help line" and spend 45 minutes pushing buttons and screaming at dumb voice-recognition system, before being automatically disconnected. n. A push-button or voice-activated phone menu system designed to irritate those who use it.
Verboticisms
Click on each verboticism to read the sentences created by the Verbotomy writers, and to see your voting options...
You have two votes. Click on the words to read the details, then vote your favorite.
Numericearpatter
Created by: petaj
Pronunciation: new-merrik-kear-patter
Sentence: Paula's digit was sore from depressing numbers on her phone, but she found the numericearpatter even more distressing with that recorded voice droning on about options, menus and numbers and how much her call was valued. In a fit of pique she mashed down on the entire keypad thereby forfeiting her 17th place in the queue.
Etymology: numeric keypad + ear + patter
Limboloop
Created by: arrrteest
Pronunciation: lim-boe-loop
Sentence: Jason knew that as soon as the computer started acting funny he had to call the customer service hotline. This frustrated him to no end because he knew that he would have to enter in the model number, serial number, the product code and the color of the unit before he even got to the limboloop hell of regional call centers, problem troubleshooting, cream and sugar preference, and choice of wait time muzak, only to have to give the same information when transfered to a human voice with a Irish Catholic name and an Indian accent.
Etymology: limbo, a place or state of oblivion to which persons or things are regarded as being relegated when cast aside, forgotten, past, or out of date + loop,Something having a shape, order, or path of motion that is circular or curved over on itself.
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COMMENTS:
Great word. Matches the definition very nicely. - Mustang, 2008-04-15: 03:34:00
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Vexmail
Created by: Nosila
Pronunciation: veks mayl
Sentence: When Bruce tried calling the phone company to extend the minutes on his phone, he had to go through no less than 20 prompts of vexmail to reach the person he needed. By that point the call was moot because he had stomped his phone in an act of cellacide and put it into receivership.
Etymology: Vex (irritate, annoy) & Voicemail (automated phone message system)
Annoyoanswer
Created by: phonesalad
Pronunciation: Annoy-o-answer
Sentence: OMG. This anoyoanswer is killing me. It thought I said "French fries and pickle goats taste like cheddar."
Etymology: annoy + o + answer
Automanic
Created by: Mustang
Pronunciation: aw-tuh-man-ik
Sentence: Stephan had run out of patience when the automated system dumped him for a third time and in his automanic state he thoroughly destroyed his cell phone.
Etymology: Blend of automated and manic
Automaddening
Created by: Mustang
Pronunciation: ah-toh-MAD-ning
Sentence: The more Lance fiddled with the automated answering service at the hospital the more automaddening it became, with him eventually tossing his cell phone on the floor and heading out to the hospital in his car knowing it would likely be faster.
Etymology: Blend of 'automated' and 'maddening'.
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COMMENTS:
Who needs bureaucracy when you have automaddening answering services to drive you insane? - dochanne, 2009-05-20: 23:29:00
Automaddening is so much quicker than doing it manually... - Nosila, 2009-05-20: 23:34:00
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Vocaldisturbia
Created by: scarletzinc
Pronunciation: woh-kuhl-des-tuhr-bee-aah
Sentence: The phone agencies have set their vocaldisturbia strategies to annoy users.
Etymology: vocal-voice disturbia-disturbance
Phonejail
Created by: Tigger
Pronunciation: /FOHN-jeyl/
Sentence: Kevin felt like a convict trying to escape from the phonejail system that his health care service provider used, where he'd been 'serving time' for most of the afternoon, forced to listen to their repetitive announcements and trying to navigate the labyrinth of menu options and the 'Interactive Voice Renouncement' system they use to support their customers. If he heard the words "your call is very important to us" a couple more times, Kevin thought, he might just go throttle somebody, who would then need to speak with the health care service more desperately than he did now.
Etymology: Play on the word 'phonemail': Phone - shortening of telephone (from French, téléphone "far" + "sound") + Jail - a detention facility or correctional institution (Old French, jaole "a cage, prison")
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COMMENTS:
Love it Tigger...somedays your 'sentences' are longer than others and there is no pardon or time off for good behaviour! - Nosila, 2008-04-14: 19:37:00
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Helpwhine
Created by: artr
Pronunciation: helpwīn
Sentence: Most every company has some version of a helpwhine. If you can push the right buttons, you are allowed to vent your frustrations to somebody who may or may not care what you have to say — somebody who may or may not speak discernible English. This assumes that you are ever able to find that lone human in the maze of options. ”Your Call is very important to... click”.
Etymology: help (assist) + whine (a feeble or petulant complaint)
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COMMENTS:
Dead on! - catgrin, 2010-06-21: 05:49:00
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Vlimtar
Created by: balku4
Pronunciation: vlimt
Sentence: i god this is a a vlimtar
Etymology: nonee
Comments:
Today's definition was suggested by silveryaspen. Thank you silveryaspen. ~ James
Jamagra - 2008-04-14: 07:25:00
I miss silveryaspen.
Mustang - 2008-04-15: 03:35:00
Where did silveryaspen go?
Silveryaspen has retired from active duty. But I am sure she is still creating Verboticisms in her head and saying wonderful things about all the Verbotomy Writers! ~ James
Mustang - 2008-04-16: 06:26:00
She is missed. She did indeed say some very nice things about Verbotomizers.
Today's definition was suggested by silveryaspen. Thank you silveryaspen. ~ James
readerwriter - 2009-05-20: 07:52:00
How long is summer vacation? Just trying to make plans...
We work flex hours, so it is variable. I will send out an announcement when we start anew. ~ James