Verboticisms

Created by: Jamagra

Pronunciation: men/yoo'/sance

Sentence: Jamagra discovered she could menuance her way through many menuisances by simply pressing "0" as soon as the list of "pressing" alternatives began.

Etymology: "menuisance" - menu + nuisance "menuance" - menu + nuance

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Created by: bdraffen0002

Pronunciation: /skrēmˈkərijmənt/

Sentence: I was foaming at the mouth; their menu was absolute screamcouragement.

Etymology: From the words Scream: Middle English: origin uncertain; perhaps from Middle Dutch. And Encouragement: Middle English (formerly also as incourage ): from French encourager, from en- ‘in’ + corage ‘courage.’

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Created by: stache

Pronunciation: ĭl'ĭ-dĭ-jĭt'ə-mĭt

Sentence: The illedigitemate "help" menu Bjorn reached when he called AT&T was all but helpful. After wearing a blister on his button finger and being irritated to the point of requiring three double gin-and-tonics he hung up and found the answer he needed in the help menu on his cell phone.

Etymology: meld of 'illegitimate' and 'digit' (finger)/'digital.'

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COMMENTS:

fun to say - Jabberwocky, 2008-04-14: 16:21:00

Uuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhm. Three double gin-and-tonics . . . I can almost taste the lime on my stirring digit. - doseydotes, 2008-04-14: 16:35:00

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Created by: mrskellyscl

Pronunciation: hel-line

Sentence: James became homicidal after waiting 45 minutes on the helline because he was suicidal. The smarmy sound of the robovoice telling him how important his call was and the 16 measure monophonic drone of Vivaldi finally drove him over the edge causing him to put an end to his suffering by putting a bullet through his earpiece.

Etymology: hell+line: wordplay on helpline

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COMMENTS:

LOL good one Mrskellyscl !!! :) - abrakadeborah, 2009-05-20: 02:57:00

VERY good! - Mustang, 2009-05-20: 06:51:00

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Created by: griffiegrrl

Pronunciation: Tell-retts

Sentence: John was experiencing Tellrettes when he was on an automated help-line the other day, and required a tranquilizer to calm him down.

Etymology: Turrets Syndrome (Spelling tweaked), Telephone

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Created by: Jabberwocky

Pronunciation: a/jen/deez/mant

Sentence: The agendizzement was so convoluted and confusing that he soon developed a case of mennui and gave up ordering pizza.

Etymology: agenda + dizzy + aggrandizement (cause to appear greater than is the case)

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Created by: Tigger

Pronunciation: /FOHN-jeyl/

Sentence: Kevin felt like a convict trying to escape from the phonejail system that his health care service provider used, where he'd been 'serving time' for most of the afternoon, forced to listen to their repetitive announcements and trying to navigate the labyrinth of menu options and the 'Interactive Voice Renouncement' system they use to support their customers. If he heard the words "your call is very important to us" a couple more times, Kevin thought, he might just go throttle somebody, who would then need to speak with the health care service more desperately than he did now.

Etymology: Play on the word 'phonemail': Phone - shortening of telephone (from French, téléphone "far" + "sound") + Jail - a detention facility or correctional institution (Old French, jaole "a cage, prison")

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COMMENTS:

Love it Tigger...somedays your 'sentences' are longer than others and there is no pardon or time off for good behaviour! - Nosila, 2008-04-14: 19:37:00

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Created by: petaj

Pronunciation: new-merrik-kear-patter

Sentence: Paula's digit was sore from depressing numbers on her phone, but she found the numericearpatter even more distressing with that recorded voice droning on about options, menus and numbers and how much her call was valued. In a fit of pique she mashed down on the entire keypad thereby forfeiting her 17th place in the queue.

Etymology: numeric keypad + ear + patter

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Created by: CanadianAndyCapp

Pronunciation: Or-tow-kom-U-ni-fruss-tray-tee-loop-loop-loop (with the final three loops said in an increasingly aggitated, high, strangulated manner)

Sentence: (Taken from a speech by General Ludd)...."...Tecno-phobes and Luddites unite! you have only the shackles of your automated communications and information data retrieval systems to lose. We have been tricked into believing that these "new and improved" technologies were developed to improve our lives. Not So! they are the subvertive systems by which we are brainwashed into surrendering our individual creative and social capabilities to the mind-numbing and straitjacket methods of the computerised system we are trying to use. For proof we need look no further than the omnipresent office automatic phone systems and their cunningly devised autocommunifrustratilooplooploop tortures. Arise, rebels of the future and reclaim your sanity and souls!!!!..." This message is recorded for public information. Please press one to repeat this message, Two for information on how to...........looplooploop

Etymology: Auto - Automatic (Constantly breaking down) / Communi - Communication (totally without intelligent substance) / Frustrati - Frustration (The Human condition) / Looplooploop (Go back to the beginning and start again-again-again)

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Created by: mweinmann

Pronunciation: dis - con - ten - shun

Sentence: There was a tremendous amount of discontention as Lyle continued to scream and pound the phone on the table; even after the automaton had disconnected the call. Lyle was convinced that the automated voice had become angry and annoyed with his yelling and "hung" up on him....which made him even more riled up. He wondered how he could ever get revenge on the digitalmoron. It was indeed the winter of his digital discontent and disconnect...

Etymology: disconnection (Unexpected termination of a telephone connection) --> discontent (dissatisfaction,longing for something better than the present situation) --> tension (a balance between and interplay of opposing elements or tendencies,a state of mental or emotional strain)--> contention (controvery,a contentious speech act, In packet mode communication networks, contention is a condition that arises when two or more data stations attempt to transmit at the same time over a shared channel):)

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