Verboticisms

Created by: dochanne

Pronunciation: Press-butt-ear-it-ant

Sentence: David just wanted to talk to someone about how he felt, but no matter what he did he couldn't get through to a human and kept getting lost in the voice-menu options. Before long he was no longer suicidal but was instead homicidal. He cursed and swore - "Damned presbuttirritant!" but in the end the mental health helpline hung up on him when he pressed the two instead of the two twice.

Etymology: Press button - usually what you're told to do by a pressbuttirritant; Irritant - grrrr! Presbyterian - a conveniently named religion, used here because some religions insist their followers press your (door) buttons in the early hours on the weekends and are thus also irritating. Not necessarily the Presbyterians themselves you understand.

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Created by: artr

Pronunciation: kôlnəndrəm

Sentence: When Geoff had an issue with his computer he decided to call the customer service hotline. What started as a good idea quickly turned into a callnundrum, a virtual quagmire of button-pushing choices. Like a digital tar baby, every touch of the keypad took him deeper into the morass. Just when he was about to climb out of the entanglement by hanging up, he broke through to a live human being. Geoff's elation was immediately dashed when the service rep, who insisted his name was Charlie, seemed to have trouble understanding even the simplest question. He suspected that Charlie's company-issued Rosetta Stone CD was still in the CD tray.

Etymology: call center (an office set up to handle a large volume of telephone calls, esp. for taking orders and providing customer service) + conundrum (a question asked for amusement, typically one with a pun in its answer; a riddle)

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Created by: abrakadeborah

Pronunciation: Vois-men-u-man-e-uh

Sentence: Ted Textired was fed up with the voicemenumania of the length of time he spent to get to one person on his telephone!

Etymology: Voice:The sound produced by the vocal organs of a vertebrate, especially a human. (or computer generated voice)A sound resembling or reminiscent of vocal utterance. Menu:A list of available options. Mania: An excessively intense enthusiasm, interest, or desire; a craze. Voicemenumania:Taken in part from voice and menu to be voicemenu as in a recorded phone prompting and added mania to show the irration of using prompts to get through on a phone call that used to be simple... What happened to,"Hello this is____ may I help you?????"

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Created by: Mustang

Pronunciation: men-yew-greh-VAY-shun

Sentence: Suffering a great deal of menugravation after 30 grueling minutes of trying to shuffle thru the tedious menu at his phone provider, Verne gave up in exasperation and sent in a check to pay his phone bill.

Etymology: Blend of 'menu' (list of choices) and 'aggravation' (an act or circumstance that intensifies or makes worse)

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Created by: galwaywegian

Pronunciation: menn ewe sssslehsssssss

Sentence: They found his skeleton still upright in the chair, bony hand still holding the phone from which they disembodied voice of the menuseless called "are you still there?"

Etymology: menu useless

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Created by: Mustang

Pronunciation: ah-toh-MAD-ning

Sentence: The more Lance fiddled with the automated answering service at the hospital the more automaddening it became, with him eventually tossing his cell phone on the floor and heading out to the hospital in his car knowing it would likely be faster.

Etymology: Blend of 'automated' and 'maddening'.

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COMMENTS:

Who needs bureaucracy when you have automaddening answering services to drive you insane? - dochanne, 2009-05-20: 23:29:00

Automaddening is so much quicker than doing it manually... - Nosila, 2009-05-20: 23:34:00

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Created by: youmustvotenato

Pronunciation: hap-line

Sentence: I called up customer service trying to resolve my issue. Navigating the Indo-audio maze, I eventually surrendered to the hapline and just hung up.

Etymology: hapless- ill fated + helpline- customer service via phone

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Created by: diyan627

Pronunciation: press two ster loop

Sentence: Tina spent an hour and forty-five minutes on the most insane, frustrating presstwosterloop scam her cell phone company is putting customers through. After explaining her situation to 7 representatives, they still owed her $350 for the "promotional phone" she got 4 months ago. The presstwosterloop didn't stop her ... She finally hung up and drove down to the store where she raised a ruckus until the manager got her problem taken care of. Or so he said.

Etymology: Press two (ah, the options!) + ster (one that is associated with, participates, does) + loop (circular action)

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Created by: shoeshineboy

Pronunciation: NO-puh-ray-terr

Sentence:

Etymology: nope + operator

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Created by: CanadianAndyCapp

Pronunciation: Or-tow-kom-U-ni-fruss-tray-tee-loop-loop-loop (with the final three loops said in an increasingly aggitated, high, strangulated manner)

Sentence: (Taken from a speech by General Ludd)...."...Tecno-phobes and Luddites unite! you have only the shackles of your automated communications and information data retrieval systems to lose. We have been tricked into believing that these "new and improved" technologies were developed to improve our lives. Not So! they are the subvertive systems by which we are brainwashed into surrendering our individual creative and social capabilities to the mind-numbing and straitjacket methods of the computerised system we are trying to use. For proof we need look no further than the omnipresent office automatic phone systems and their cunningly devised autocommunifrustratilooplooploop tortures. Arise, rebels of the future and reclaim your sanity and souls!!!!..." This message is recorded for public information. Please press one to repeat this message, Two for information on how to...........looplooploop

Etymology: Auto - Automatic (Constantly breaking down) / Communi - Communication (totally without intelligent substance) / Frustrati - Frustration (The Human condition) / Looplooploop (Go back to the beginning and start again-again-again)

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