Vote for the best verboticism.
DEFINITION: v. To call a phone "help line" and spend 45 minutes pushing buttons and screaming at dumb voice-recognition system, before being automatically disconnected. n. A push-button or voice-activated phone menu system designed to irritate those who use it.
Verboticisms
Click on each verboticism to read the sentences created by the Verbotomy writers, and to see your voting options...
You have two votes. Click on the words to read the details, then vote your favorite.
Vexmail
Created by: Nosila
Pronunciation: veks mayl
Sentence: When Bruce tried calling the phone company to extend the minutes on his phone, he had to go through no less than 20 prompts of vexmail to reach the person he needed. By that point the call was moot because he had stomped his phone in an act of cellacide and put it into receivership.
Etymology: Vex (irritate, annoy) & Voicemail (automated phone message system)
Vexchange
Created by: Nosila
Pronunciation: veks chaynj
Sentence: When Rory got the usual runaround on the voice-activated system of his telephone provider, he went crazy pushing numbers, trying to connect to the complaint department. He figured that this was their main vexchange and it took him 20 minutes of phone aggro before he was finally cut off. It is just as well that he did not reach a real human voice, as he would then have discovered that the agent worked half a world away and spoke English he had just learned in the past 6 months!Ma Bell was now Ma Dumbbell in his books.
Etymology: Vex (cause annoyance in; disturb, especially by minor irritations)& Exchange (a workplace that serves as a telecommunications facility where lines from telephones can be connected together to permit communication)
Helpwhine
Created by: artr
Pronunciation: helpwīn
Sentence: Most every company has some version of a helpwhine. If you can push the right buttons, you are allowed to vent your frustrations to somebody who may or may not care what you have to say — somebody who may or may not speak discernible English. This assumes that you are ever able to find that lone human in the maze of options. ”Your Call is very important to... click”.
Etymology: help (assist) + whine (a feeble or petulant complaint)
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COMMENTS:
Dead on! - catgrin, 2010-06-21: 05:49:00
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Voicejail
Created by: mikewhite
Pronunciation: voice-jail
Sentence: can I add a sentence for voicejail later?
Etymology: voice+jail: wordplay on voice+mail
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COMMENTS:
like this word...describes it perfectly!! - mweinmann, 2009-05-20: 08:43:00
Great word, mike...yes, please make a sentence, you know you can! - Nosila, 2009-05-22: 12:10:00
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Vlimtar
Created by: balku4
Pronunciation: vlimt
Sentence: i god this is a a vlimtar
Etymology: nonee
Automanic
Created by: Mustang
Pronunciation: aw-tuh-man-ik
Sentence: Stephan had run out of patience when the automated system dumped him for a third time and in his automanic state he thoroughly destroyed his cell phone.
Etymology: Blend of automated and manic
Presstress
Created by: Nosila
Pronunciation: press stress
Sentence: Murray's patience was running out...he was feeling the presstress of waiting on the phone for over 10 minutes now, after having been forced to press many choices to get to his final destination and then they put him on hold. What happened to when you phoned somewhere and got a live human to answer your questions? What made the powers that be decide to substitute pretend humans for real ones. He knew that lady's voice on the phone better than his own mother's! His aggravation grew and he presstressed some more, only to still end up on that message,"Your call is important to us, we value your business, please wait on the line for the next available operator". Sheesh, how hard was it to get a pizza anyway? And then he realized his error...in his presstress, he had not called Tony's 30 Minute Pizza, but had in error pushed another number. Good thing he was not dying or in trouble, just hungry, because he had accidentally pushed 911 instead!
Etymology: press (the act of pressing; the exertion of pressure or the state of urgently demanding notice or attention) & stress (a state of mental or emotional strain or suspense; or test the limits of)
Helline
Created by: mrskellyscl
Pronunciation: hel-line
Sentence: James became homicidal after waiting 45 minutes on the helline because he was suicidal. The smarmy sound of the robovoice telling him how important his call was and the 16 measure monophonic drone of Vivaldi finally drove him over the edge causing him to put an end to his suffering by putting a bullet through his earpiece.
Etymology: hell+line: wordplay on helpline
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COMMENTS:
LOL good one Mrskellyscl !!! :) - abrakadeborah, 2009-05-20: 02:57:00
VERY good! - Mustang, 2009-05-20: 06:51:00
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Automaddening
Created by: Mustang
Pronunciation: ah-toh-MAD-ning
Sentence: The more Lance fiddled with the automated answering service at the hospital the more automaddening it became, with him eventually tossing his cell phone on the floor and heading out to the hospital in his car knowing it would likely be faster.
Etymology: Blend of 'automated' and 'maddening'.
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COMMENTS:
Who needs bureaucracy when you have automaddening answering services to drive you insane? - dochanne, 2009-05-20: 23:29:00
Automaddening is so much quicker than doing it manually... - Nosila, 2009-05-20: 23:34:00
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Comments:
Today's definition was suggested by silveryaspen. Thank you silveryaspen. ~ James
Jamagra - 2008-04-14: 07:25:00
I miss silveryaspen.
Mustang - 2008-04-15: 03:35:00
Where did silveryaspen go?
Silveryaspen has retired from active duty. But I am sure she is still creating Verboticisms in her head and saying wonderful things about all the Verbotomy Writers! ~ James
Mustang - 2008-04-16: 06:26:00
She is missed. She did indeed say some very nice things about Verbotomizers.
Today's definition was suggested by silveryaspen. Thank you silveryaspen. ~ James
readerwriter - 2009-05-20: 07:52:00
How long is summer vacation? Just trying to make plans...
We work flex hours, so it is variable. I will send out an announcement when we start anew. ~ James