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'Please listen carefully as our menu has recently changed...'

DEFINITION: v. To call a phone "help line" and spend 45 minutes pushing buttons and screaming at dumb voice-recognition system, before being automatically disconnected. n. A push-button or voice-activated phone menu system designed to irritate those who use it.

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Verboticisms

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Autocommunifrustratilooplooploop

Created by: CanadianAndyCapp

Pronunciation: Or-tow-kom-U-ni-fruss-tray-tee-loop-loop-loop (with the final three loops said in an increasingly aggitated, high, strangulated manner)

Sentence: (Taken from a speech by General Ludd)...."...Tecno-phobes and Luddites unite! you have only the shackles of your automated communications and information data retrieval systems to lose. We have been tricked into believing that these "new and improved" technologies were developed to improve our lives. Not So! they are the subvertive systems by which we are brainwashed into surrendering our individual creative and social capabilities to the mind-numbing and straitjacket methods of the computerised system we are trying to use. For proof we need look no further than the omnipresent office automatic phone systems and their cunningly devised autocommunifrustratilooplooploop tortures. Arise, rebels of the future and reclaim your sanity and souls!!!!..." This message is recorded for public information. Please press one to repeat this message, Two for information on how to...........looplooploop

Etymology: Auto - Automatic (Constantly breaking down) / Communi - Communication (totally without intelligent substance) / Frustrati - Frustration (The Human condition) / Looplooploop (Go back to the beginning and start again-again-again)

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Dialdrone

Created by: bookowl

Pronunciation: dial/drone

Sentence: He kept trying to disconnect from the menu but instead of getting a dial tone he got a dialdrone.

Etymology: dial tone + drone

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COMMENTS:

Been there, done that. Good word. - Mustang, 2008-04-15: 03:36:00

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Automaddening

Created by: Mustang

Pronunciation: ah-toh-MAD-ning

Sentence: The more Lance fiddled with the automated answering service at the hospital the more automaddening it became, with him eventually tossing his cell phone on the floor and heading out to the hospital in his car knowing it would likely be faster.

Etymology: Blend of 'automated' and 'maddening'.

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COMMENTS:

Who needs bureaucracy when you have automaddening answering services to drive you insane? - dochanne, 2009-05-20: 23:29:00

Automaddening is so much quicker than doing it manually... - Nosila, 2009-05-20: 23:34:00

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Screamcouragment

Created by: bdraffen0002

Pronunciation: /skrēmˈkərijmənt/

Sentence: I was foaming at the mouth; their menu was absolute screamcouragement.

Etymology: From the words Scream: Middle English: origin uncertain; perhaps from Middle Dutch. And Encouragement: Middle English (formerly also as incourage ): from French encourager, from en- ‘in’ + corage ‘courage.’

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Vexmessaging

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: vex mess ajing

Sentence: Vexmessaging is described as what used to be a 2 minute inquiry call to a company, greeted by a pleasant, real live person, which has been replaced with a very long battle with an automatronic simulated human voice which does not give you enough options to get an answer. Vexmessaging gives companies the statistics that say their complaints this year are fewer. It is only because no one can get through to anyone to complain!!! Your call is important to us... indeed!

Etymology: Vex (to irritate, annoy,disturb the peace of mind of; afflict with mental agitation or distress;cause annoyance in;especially by minor irritations or be a mystery or bewildering to) & Messaging (sending a message or receiving one)& rhymes with Text Messaging (how everyone under 30 communicates in abbreviated codes, by cell phone/blackberry or other computerized device...even if they are in the same room as those with whom they communicating!)

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COMMENTS:

Covers it quite nicely. Great word! - Mustang, 2009-05-20: 04:58:00

so true - Jabberwocky, 2009-05-22: 13:15:00

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Automanic

Created by: Mustang

Pronunciation: aw-tuh-man-ik

Sentence: Stephan had run out of patience when the automated system dumped him for a third time and in his automanic state he thoroughly destroyed his cell phone.

Etymology: Blend of automated and manic

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Oblivicurse

Created by: pieceof314

Pronunciation: uh-bliv-eh-kers

Sentence: Jonesy had a secret life. Under the happy facade or bubbliness and congeniality, she was really a curmudgeon and a misanthrope. She was a call center operator script engineer. She was responsible for the impossible recursive loop design that would often frustrate callers. With each possible combination, she would oblivicurse the respondant with a multitude of irrelavent, ambiguous and time consuming questions that would often lead the person back to the beginning. With this, she would sit down and smile darkly.

Etymology: Oblivion + Curse

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COMMENTS:

Like that one, pieceof314...I just knew those IT types belonged to convens and every company has them! - Nosila, 2008-04-14: 19:43:00

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Helline

mrskellyscl

Created by: mrskellyscl

Pronunciation: hel-line

Sentence: James became homicidal after waiting 45 minutes on the helline because he was suicidal. The smarmy sound of the robovoice telling him how important his call was and the 16 measure monophonic drone of Vivaldi finally drove him over the edge causing him to put an end to his suffering by putting a bullet through his earpiece.

Etymology: hell+line: wordplay on helpline

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COMMENTS:

LOL good one Mrskellyscl !!! :) - abrakadeborah, 2009-05-20: 02:57:00

VERY good! - Mustang, 2009-05-20: 06:51:00

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Illedigitimate

Created by: stache

Pronunciation: ĭl'ĭ-dĭ-jĭt'ə-mĭt

Sentence: The illedigitemate "help" menu Bjorn reached when he called AT&T was all but helpful. After wearing a blister on his button finger and being irritated to the point of requiring three double gin-and-tonics he hung up and found the answer he needed in the help menu on his cell phone.

Etymology: meld of 'illegitimate' and 'digit' (finger)/'digital.'

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COMMENTS:

fun to say - Jabberwocky, 2008-04-14: 16:21:00

Uuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhm. Three double gin-and-tonics . . . I can almost taste the lime on my stirring digit. - doseydotes, 2008-04-14: 16:35:00

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Vocaldisturbia

Created by: scarletzinc

Pronunciation: woh-kuhl-des-tuhr-bee-aah

Sentence: The phone agencies have set their vocaldisturbia strategies to annoy users.

Etymology: vocal-voice disturbia-disturbance

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Comments:

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2008-04-14: 00:01:00
Today's definition was suggested by silveryaspen. Thank you silveryaspen. ~ James

Jamagra - 2008-04-14: 07:25:00
I miss silveryaspen.

Mustang - 2008-04-15: 03:35:00
Where did silveryaspen go?

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2008-04-15: 16:59:00
Silveryaspen has retired from active duty. But I am sure she is still creating Verboticisms in her head and saying wonderful things about all the Verbotomy Writers! ~ James

Mustang - 2008-04-16: 06:26:00
She is missed. She did indeed say some very nice things about Verbotomizers.

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2009-05-20: 00:00:00
Today's definition was suggested by silveryaspen. Thank you silveryaspen. ~ James

readerwriter - 2009-05-20: 07:52:00
How long is summer vacation? Just trying to make plans...

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2009-05-22: 08:24:00
We work flex hours, so it is variable. I will send out an announcement when we start anew. ~ James