Verboticisms

Created by: galwaywegian

Pronunciation: nohn sen tensss

Sentence: the judge told the pervert that he would have to wash miss jones' underwear for a year. complete and utter nonsentence

Etymology: sentence, nonsense

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Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: kon vik tim ize ashun

Sentence: It was pre-ordained. His name was Rob and by gosh, that is what he did for a living. He also wrote very bad checks. When he was caught and sentenced to 25 years in the pokey, he thought he had fallen prey to convictimization. He was incarcerated at Sing Sing, where contrary to the name, they did not sing, often or well. Warden Gordon Borden thought it would be ironic if Rob wrote the new Prison Newsletter, since he was so good at writing (bad checks). Rob called this literary marvel, "Sentences" and worked hard at it to make it informative and entertaining. He carried regular features, such as a column on advice to the lovelorn..."In-Mates" with such pertinent features as "Are you suffering from Penal Dysfunction?";The Daily Horrorscope ("Your life has settled into predictable routine but just wait, the new screw in Cell Block 4 has his eye on you. Prepare for excitement."); a singles column "Cell-ABC" and recipes from the prison kitchen, "The Garden of Pleadin'" ...for Chili CON carney...take 500 pounds of ground meat, throw in 18 cups of saltpeter,...etc. He also added news items that affected his readership: "Care and feeding of your pet Cockroach"; and he used the digital camera to get candid snaps of daily life column, "I've been framed". Rob became a publishing ty-con and made the most of his pun-nishment!

Etymology: Convict (a person serving a sentence in a jail or prison; a person who has been convicted of a criminal offence; find or declare guilty) & Victimization (adversity resulting from being made a victim; an act that exploits or victimizes someone (treats them unfairly))

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COMMENTS:

written with conviction!! - galwaywegian, 2009-03-06: 05:56:00

Top Notch Job creating this 'con' job and 'con' verbotomy! - silveryaspen, 2009-03-06: 19:15:00

So funny!!! - kateinkorea, 2009-03-08: 10:30:00

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Created by: artr

Pronunciation: nin-juhs-tis

Sentence: Despite the very public nature of his crimes the executive was given a punishment that seemed almost nonexistent. The stealth nature of the judgment caused many to declare it ninjustice. Some, thinking he must have been intoxicated, accused the judge of ginjustice.

Etymology: ninja (a member of a feudal Japanese society of mercenary agents, highly trained in martial arts and stealth) + injustice (violation of the rights of others; unjust or unfair action or treatment)

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Created by: artr

Pronunciation: pənishmint

Sentence: Edward, the financier had bilked millions from people who had invested in his too-good-to-be-true scheme. The plaintiffs wanted blood. The judge gave him punishmint. Knowing that the defendant loathed the taste of mint — peppermint, spearmint, coolmint, any mint — that was all the candy he was to be allowed for the next 2 years. None of his beloved toffees. Not a single truffle. How he was going to get through it Edward wasn't quite sure. His only consolation was the punishmint he was set to make on his book deal.

Etymology: punishment (the infliction or imposition of a penalty as retribution for an offense) + mint (a peppermint candy)(a vast sum of money)

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COMMENTS:

OMG no mint? How cruel! - wayoffcenter, 2009-03-06: 05:57:00

Amazing that you took such a harsh word and turned into the sweet treat our justice system is handing out! Very Clever! - silveryaspen, 2009-03-06: 19:21:00

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Created by: abrakadeborah

Pronunciation: Miss-cor-tell-lie-za-shun

Sentence: Mr. Ponzi Schemer went to court for his sentencing for committing thousands of felonies and robbing wealthy lil old ladies and retired gentlemen and the rich and infamous. His lawyer Mr. Flippant approached the bench as he stated to the judge that his client's "misscourtalization" was not a just conviction and a true fact that the jury had been too rough on him. So Judge Cramitall over road the jury and ordered defendant Mr. Ponzi Schemer to a lifetime on board a confined luxury yacht out in the Turks & Caicos Islands and to only eat Beluga caviar on toast points and only have Louis Roederer Champagne as his ONLY beverage until...he got sun burned at which time there would be an additional hearing to relocate him.

Etymology: Miss;As in misunderstood. Court;Where you have a legal hearing. A lie;Untruths. Zation;When everything said can and will be twisted around to where it makes no sense and will be used against you...maybe!

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Created by: RightOnTheWin

Pronunciation: (Hig-o-ho\mər-smənt);Hig-hi-ho\a-merce-ment

Sentence: John was sentenced to pay a fine of fifteen thousand dollars for speeding; however the judge ruled this higōhōamercement as unconstitutional.

Etymology: Orgin:Higōhō(Japanese romaji), adjectival noun. Illegal; Unlawful. Amercement, noun. To punish by a fine whose amount is fixed by the court.

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Created by: silveryaspen

Pronunciation: pay a dox

Sentence: Today's legal system is broken, for the punishments do not fit white-collar crimes. Madoff runs a Ponzi scheme and instead of being in jail, he is in his million dollar penthouse. Even more absurd, he is not made to pay any restitution, he gets to keep the billions he stole! Ditto, for the criminal mismanagement of bank assets by bank management. In their case, it gets even more perverse, for they are given bail-em-out -billions, and are free to do it again! There are politicians who do not pay their taxes. Instead of jail time, the president perversely appoints them to high political office with good pay and big benefits. The payadox of today is white-collar crime does pay, and pays big!

Etymology: It is a paradox when the punishment doesn't fit the white-collar crime ... and when that white collar crime pays off big-time, it is a payadox! (In the fictionary {fiction-dictionary} a dox is the new human animal: a white-collar fox in sheep's clothing seeking out hi$ prey.)

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COMMENTS:

so true and so sad - Jabberwocky, 2009-03-06: 09:40:00

Good story...just sorry it is fact not fiction! - Nosila, 2009-03-06: 19:04:00

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Created by: artr

Pronunciation: fənishmənt

Sentence: When the starlet got caught for the fifth time her funishment was very severe. She was sentenced to 30 days in frizzon — that’s right, she was locked up in a place that didn’t have proper hair products. She could do nothing but throw on a scarf, dark sunglasses and steer clear of places where paparazzi might catch a glimpse.

Etymology: fun (enjoyment, amusement, or lighthearted pleasure) + punishment (the infliction or imposition of a penalty as retribution for an offense)

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COMMENTS:

was just about to write that down :) - galwaywegian, 2010-09-17: 08:16:00

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Created by: Ratty

Pronunciation: f-UN-ish-ment

Sentence: Barry's drunk mother (who had a high well-paid job in court) simply had to do something as a punishment after Barry chopped both her arms off. When Barry got a final sentence of doing community service for the most ridiculously generous rich old lady, his mother realized her rather regretful punishment was in fact a funishment.

Etymology: fun, punishment

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Created by: rombus

Pronunciation: pur - vur - dikt

Sentence: Judge Malloy handed down a perverdict in the swindling case against Margorie Vandenspit. After stealing millions of dollars from unsuspecting victims of phishing schemes; stealing their identities and sending them fishheads in the mail, Marjorie got off with community service. If this wasn't a case of perverdict justice, then I have lost more than my sense of humor.

Etymology: preverted and verdict -- perverted: distorted or deviating from what is usually considered to be normal or correct -- verdict: A decision on an issue of fact in a civil or criminal case or an inquest

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