Verboticisms

Created by: petaj

Pronunciation: nin-jewels

Sentence: Dear Lord, "So grant me strength that I may not fall, Into the clutches of cholesterol. May my flesh with carrot curls be sated That my soul may be polyunsaturated. And show me the light that I may bear witness To the President's Council on Physical Fitness." Deliver us from ninjoules so those sneaky pounds won't make us fools. Amen Quoted section by Victor Buono "The fat man's prayer" -- http://www.themadmusicarchive.com/song_details.aspx?SongID=3657.

Etymology: ninja (practitioners of japanese espionage, characterised by stealth) + joules (units of energy, that are easily converted into adipose tissue by the unsuspecting couch potato)

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COMMENTS:

Great fat man's prayer! Great Word! - silveryaspen, 2008-03-19: 09:58:00

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Created by: artr

Pronunciation: rē-inkärbnāshən

Sentence: It wasn't his fault. It was a matter of reincarbnation. The more Phat thought about it the more he believed in regirth. He must have been a sumo in a former life or perhaps a large animal. That would explain the hippobottomus. It was all in his jeans. After another fruitless trip to the gym, he went out and bought another pair of elepants.

Etymology: reincarnation (a person or animal in whom a particular soul is believed to have been reborn) + carb (short for carbohydrate)

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COMMENTS:

Love them elepants. - wayoffcenter, 2009-01-09: 06:34:00

Funny! - kateinkorea, 2009-01-09: 09:53:00

Love it and the story...so deja vu, all over again! - Nosila, 2009-01-09: 19:51:00

Super punsome and funsome! - silveryaspen, 2009-01-09: 20:45:00

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Created by: catgrin

Pronunciation: ant-il-yuh n (sounds like "ant" + "million" -"m")

Sentence: (n) No amount of hours at the gym could stop the antileans from taking oven my waistline. (v) By 35, most women antilean, diet and exercise simply cannot return them to their size fours.

Etymology: A simple compound of "anti" and "lean" using a softer vowel sounds and slightly shifted emphasis to give the sound of tiny hordes attacking.

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Created by: idavecook

Pronunciation: FAL-OR-EES

Sentence: These 100 calorie packs have added like 500 phalories on me!

Etymology: Phantom Calories

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COMMENTS:

I've never seen a calorie, never felt one, so I think phalories is a perfect word for them! Well done! - silveryaspen, 2008-03-19: 20:31:00

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Created by: Mustang

Pronunciation: In - FATS - yoo - ayt

Sentence: When Sebastian saw how much 'girth' he'd gained in recent months he muttered to himself while staring, mouth agape, at his reflection in the mirror, "I know the problem is not systemic, it's infatsyouate, you big blob."

Etymology: Play on the word 'infatuate'. Infers being infatuated with rich, fatty foods.

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Created by: artr

Pronunciation: kou-uhs-then-iks

Sentence: Roger goes to the gym on a regular basis. What he calls a workout rarely involves much work. His cowisthenics usually involve hoofing it to the closest vending machine for an "energy" drink and "health" bar. On a really energetic visit he might be moooved to join a short basketball game, take a quick shower and herd for the donut shop on his way home to replenish all those expended carbs.

Etymology: cow (a mature bovine) + calisthenics (gymnastic exercises designed to develop physical health and vigor)

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Created by: rikboyee

Pronunciation: kil-err-joolz

Sentence: every time he attempted to lose weight he would be ambushed by killerjoules

Etymology: killer, kilojoules

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COMMENTS:

So true! So Powerful! - silveryaspen, 2008-03-19: 10:11:00

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Created by: lplybon

Pronunciation: "Fat-SI-tees"

Sentence: Over the past four months -- after her doctor scared the beejeesus out of her -- Sophie has religiously exercised, watched what she eats, and even goes to those (sometimes really irritating) support groups. And the result? A total loss of three stinking pounds. And to add insult to injury, Sophie notices that her fascites seems to have grown! How can that be!?!

Etymology: Combination of the word "fat" and "ascites"

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Created by: yelloweyes

Pronunciation: fe-naw-maw-pro-cure-it-ee

Sentence: Shelly has been gaining weight recently. She said it was because she is experiencing phenomaprocurity, but I do not believe she is actually dieting or exercising.

Etymology: Phenoma - from phenomenon (fact or situation with a questionable/unknown cause) Procurity - from procure (to obtain).

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Created by: silveryaspen

Pronunciation: way - of - lie - f

Sentence: By a voiding calories, Cary hoped to become thin as a calla reed, but he bloomed out like the petals on that lily. Eliminating fatty acids, he still wound up fattyassed. By eating lots of cucumbers and salad veggies, he hoped to tighten his belt a notch or two, but he had to let it out a notch ... due to the inexplicable incomebrance! Cary wanted to scale down, but when he weighed in, he was up'scale'ated. "Help!" Cary cried, "I'm sick of this weighoflife. Please, lettuce turnip and pea it off!

Etymology: Way of Life, Weigh of Life.

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COMMENTS:

Weigh to go, silveryaspen! I love the weigh you pepper your sentences with sayings that are hard to beet! - Nosila, 2008-03-19: 01:14:00

Very good! If Cary doesnt 'meat' this problem straight aweigh, he'll be doomed to simply vegetate and perhaps even grow scales. - Mustang, 2008-03-19: 06:49:00

very nice - Jabberwocky, 2008-03-19: 11:44:00

Good one! - OZZIEBOB, 2008-03-20: 05:00:00

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