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'I've been working out on this ab machine every day for a week'

DEFINITION: n. The creepy pounds that sneak onto your waist even though you've been exercising and watching what you eat. v. To exercise rigorously, diet fastidiously, and yet still gain weight.

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Verboticisms

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Cowisthenics

artr

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: kou-uhs-then-iks

Sentence: Roger goes to the gym on a regular basis. What he calls a workout rarely involves much work. His cowisthenics usually involve hoofing it to the closest vending machine for an "energy" drink and "health" bar. On a really energetic visit he might be moooved to join a short basketball game, take a quick shower and herd for the donut shop on his way home to replenish all those expended carbs.

Etymology: cow (a mature bovine) + calisthenics (gymnastic exercises designed to develop physical health and vigor)

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Fatsoishmanism

Created by: Soyabaa96

Pronunciation: Fat so` ish man ism

Sentence: I have a horrible case of Fatsoishmanism

Etymology:

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Asstonnagement

Created by: Jabberwocky

Pronunciation: ass/tun/aj/ment

Sentence: She gasped with asstonnagemnet when she tried to sit in her favourite chair and found she couldn't fit any longer - so much for those protein bars.

Etymology: ass + tonnage + astonishment

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COMMENTS:

HA! Good one! Quite cheeky! - purpleartichokes, 2008-03-19: 07:19:00

Laughing so hard I can barely type! Funtastic Won! - silveryaspen, 2008-03-19: 10:30:00

Thanks a ton! You made my day! - Jamagra, 2008-03-19: 14:12:00

His day of astonement will suely come! Nice blend of words. - OZZIEBOB, 2008-03-20: 05:05:00

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Gutchels

Created by: ShadeTanner

Pronunciation: gut-chills

Sentence: If you have gutchels, see a health professional because there's most likely a medical concern causing this.

Etymology:

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Reincarbnation

artr

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: rē-inkärbnāshən

Sentence: It wasn't his fault. It was a matter of reincarbnation. The more Phat thought about it the more he believed in regirth. He must have been a sumo in a former life or perhaps a large animal. That would explain the hippobottomus. It was all in his jeans. After another fruitless trip to the gym, he went out and bought another pair of elepants.

Etymology: reincarnation (a person or animal in whom a particular soul is believed to have been reborn) + carb (short for carbohydrate)

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COMMENTS:

Love them elepants. - wayoffcenter, 2009-01-09: 06:34:00

Funny! - kateinkorea, 2009-01-09: 09:53:00

Love it and the story...so deja vu, all over again! - Nosila, 2009-01-09: 19:51:00

Super punsome and funsome! - silveryaspen, 2009-01-09: 20:45:00

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Infatsyouate

Created by: Mustang

Pronunciation: In - fats - yoo - ait

Sentence: When Vernon saw how many inches he'd added to his waist in recent months he muttered to himself, "t must have been something infatsyouate."

Etymology: Play on the word infatuate...infatuated with food, Vernon simply ate too much.

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COMMENTS:

Exceptional word play! - silveryaspen, 2008-03-19: 09:59:00

I like it! - purpleartichokes, 2008-03-19: 20:49:00

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Itsfatsyouate

Created by: Mustang

Pronunciation: Itz - fats - yoo - ayt

Sentence: When Melvin saw how much 'girth' he'd gained in recent months he muttered to himself while staring, mouth agape, at his reflection in the mirror, "I know itsfatsyouate, you big blob."

Etymology: Play on the word infatuate. Infers being infatuated with rich, fatty foods.

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Stealthfood

Created by: Banky

Pronunciation: stellth-food

Sentence: The scale gave a small muffled electronic scream when Andy brought his full weight to bear. He was just about done with trying to shape up; two weeks of treadmill and proper diet had led to a 5-pound gain. Unfortunately, Andy had been mistaken in his meal-selecting logic, and all of the sensible meals he had recently consumed were in fact stealthfoods. The 8-oz portion of fish the night before, for example, had come from an Eastern Stoned Lardwrasse. After a lazy afternoon on the reef smoking reefer, the fish had consumed a bag of Funyuns, 3 Big Macs, 2 orders of fries, a chocolate shake, and a carton of Haagen Daazs. Leaving his friends laughing in his enormous wake, calling him names like "Marlin Brando", the lardwrasse had groggily stumbled into a waiting net, his certain doom, and another veneer of fat on Andy's barely denim-constrained buttocks.

Etymology: stealth + food; ala healthfood

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COMMENTS:

What a witty twist to come up with an eat-it-self-to-death fish that packs weight on humans! Topped off with a meaning full great pun! Excellent Won! - silveryaspen, 2008-03-19: 10:06:00

Now I know why I almost bought that bag of Bloomin' Onion Crisps at the store tonight. Bastard Banky! (Sorry James!) Nice word! - purpleartichokes, 2008-03-19: 20:55:00

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Hexercise

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: hek sir syes

Sentence: Although he exercised regularly and ate properly, Tim felt that someone had cursed him. This hexercise prevented his losing any weight. He was mystified, as he had cut back his donuts to just the one dozen per day. How much more sacrificing could he be expected to do???

Etymology: Hex (cast a spell over someone or something; put a hex on someone or something) & Exercise (the activity of exerting your muscles in various ways to keep fit)

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Asstonnagement

Created by: Jabberwocky

Pronunciation: ass/tun/aj/ment

Sentence: Sally gasped with asstonnagement when she tried to sit in her favourite chair and found she couldn't fit any longer - so much for those protein bars.

Etymology: ass + tonnage + astonishment

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COMMENTS:

Cute word - Nosila, 2009-01-09: 19:53:00

Very memorable! Nice way to say being overweight is a real pain in the a** ...in more ways than one. Sticks in my memory like Sally's bottom sticks in the chair! - silveryaspen, 2009-01-09: 20:51:00

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Comments:

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2008-03-19: 00:01:00
Today's definition was suggested by silveryaspen. Thank you silveryaspen. ~ James

Mustang - 2008-03-19: 00:49:00
Infatsyouate

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2010-05-26: 00:00:00
Today's definition was suggested by silveryaspen. Thank you silveryaspen. ~ James

hombwedleMi - 2018-05-26: 08:39:00
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hombwedleMi - 2018-05-26: 11:22:00
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