Verboticisms

Created by: ShadeTanner

Pronunciation: gut-chills

Sentence: If you have gutchels, see a health professional because there's most likely a medical concern causing this.

Etymology:

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Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: hek sir syes

Sentence: Although he exercised regularly and ate properly, Tim felt that someone had cursed him. This hexercise prevented his losing any weight. He was mystified, as he had cut back his donuts to just the one dozen per day. How much more sacrificing could he be expected to do???

Etymology: Hex (cast a spell over someone or something; put a hex on someone or something) & Exercise (the activity of exerting your muscles in various ways to keep fit)

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Created by: artr

Pronunciation: kou-uhs-then-iks

Sentence: Roger goes to the gym on a regular basis. What he calls a workout rarely involves much work. His cowisthenics usually involve hoofing it to the closest vending machine for an "energy" drink and "health" bar. On a really energetic visit he might be moooved to join a short basketball game, take a quick shower and herd for the donut shop on his way home to replenish all those expended carbs.

Etymology: cow (a mature bovine) + calisthenics (gymnastic exercises designed to develop physical health and vigor)

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Created by: youmustvotenato

Pronunciation: Like attack except with an F

Sentence: More fattack?

Etymology: Fat + attack

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Created by: lplybon

Pronunciation: "Fat-SI-tees"

Sentence: Over the past four months -- after her doctor scared the beejeesus out of her -- Sophie has religiously exercised, watched what she eats, and even goes to those (sometimes really irritating) support groups. And the result? A total loss of three stinking pounds. And to add insult to injury, Sophie notices that her fascites seems to have grown! How can that be!?!

Etymology: Combination of the word "fat" and "ascites"

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Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: kil ler gramz

Sentence: Melanie had tried everything to lose a few pounds, like Weight Watchers, Nutrisystem, Jenny Craig, Atkins, LA Weight Loss, Herbal Magic, Scarsdale, The Zone, heck even Oprah Winfrey's latest method. She visited their sites everyday, but lost not an ounce. She had also tried every possible fitness regime, too. But no matter what she tried, she still had those extra killergrams on her that she could not shed. She actually got a lot of exercise in her daily routine: she surfed the Net, jumped to conclusions, ran out of money, juggled her tasks, pushed her luck, drove her family mad and plowed through her paperwork, but still a thin body eluded her. How would she ever look as good as those women on the magazine covers in the grocery store? You know, the ones who stared back at you accusingly as you bought ice cream, pop, chips, candy and booze!

Etymology: Kilograms (metric weight unit of 1000 grams) & Killer (a difficulty that is hard to deal with;the causal agent resulting in death Example: "Heart disease is the biggest killer in America")

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COMMENTS:

heeheehee!!! - galwaywegian, 2009-01-09: 04:16:00

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Created by: silveryaspen

Pronunciation: way - of - lie - f

Sentence: By a voiding calories, Cary hoped to become thin as a calla reed, but he bloomed out like the petals on that lily. Eliminating fatty acids, he still wound up fattyassed. By eating lots of cucumbers and salad veggies, he hoped to tighten his belt a notch or two, but he had to let it out a notch ... due to the inexplicable incomebrance! Cary wanted to scale down, but when he weighed in, he was up'scale'ated. "Help!" Cary cried, "I'm sick of this weighoflife. Please, lettuce turnip and pea it off!

Etymology: Way of Life, Weigh of Life.

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COMMENTS:

Weigh to go, silveryaspen! I love the weigh you pepper your sentences with sayings that are hard to beet! - Nosila, 2008-03-19: 01:14:00

Very good! If Cary doesnt 'meat' this problem straight aweigh, he'll be doomed to simply vegetate and perhaps even grow scales. - Mustang, 2008-03-19: 06:49:00

very nice - Jabberwocky, 2008-03-19: 11:44:00

Good one! - OZZIEBOB, 2008-03-20: 05:00:00

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Created by: mweinmann

Pronunciation: fat - kins

Sentence: Ben came from a long line of Fatkins, and to make it worse, everyone in his family was overweight, despite the fact that they were all active people who participated in sports and watched their calories. They had all tried every fad diet that came around, including Jenny Craig, Atkins, Weight Watchers and even the Grapefruit Diet. He remembers that growing up, his mom had been given to using humor as a way to feel better about things. She even affectionately referred to the rolls on her stomach as her little fatkins. Once Ben even tried to sue Dr. Atkins for taking the family surname and capitalizing on it.....

Etymology: Fat (overweight, having an abundance of flesh + Atkins Diet (A diet in which a person attempts to lose weight by reducing the intake of carbohydrates, instead obtaining energy from dietary and stored fat) + Kin (group of people related by blood or marriage)

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COMMENTS:

So he declared a Fatwah on Dr. Atkins...good word! - Nosila, 2009-01-09: 19:48:00

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Created by: yelloweyes

Pronunciation: fe-naw-maw-pro-cure-it-ee

Sentence: Shelly has been gaining weight recently. She said it was because she is experiencing phenomaprocurity, but I do not believe she is actually dieting or exercising.

Etymology: Phenoma - from phenomenon (fact or situation with a questionable/unknown cause) Procurity - from procure (to obtain).

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Created by: moondragon

Pronunciation: fit-nuh-glitch

Sentence: There must be some kind of fitneglitch in this exercise plan. My daily work out just seems to make my love handles bigger.

Etymology: A combination of fitness (health) + glitch (error).

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