Verboticisms

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: rist sist

Sentence: Stanley could normally open anything but this pickle jar was determined to wristsist all his efforts. Try as he mite, he could not open it. What he did not realize was that he had met the leader of the Wristsistance in his fridge, Colonel Cornichon. The Colonel had dilliberately held his position and mobilized his highly trained commandos, The Gherkins, to hold off Stanley's attacks. When Stanley held their stronghold under hot water and tapped it with a knife, the Colonel knew the siege was almost over and mustard his courage and sent out an SOS (Sweet or Sour) signal: "Mayo-day, Mayo-day, we don't relish this a salt. Although we've worked hard for our bread and butter, pickles, it is time to use our brines and admit defeat, since wristsistance is futile and sing the old war songs. 'Goodbye, Piccallili, Farewell Leicester Square, it's a long, long way to sip a sherry, but my heart's right there'. Dill we meet again, in the Alimentary Canal, I salute you."

Etymology: Wrist (a joint between the distal end of the radius and the proximal row of carpal bones) & Resist (refuse to comply;withstand the force of something;elude, especially in a baffling way)

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COMMENTS:

Can't open the pickle jar? No big dill! Great paranomasiac story... - LoftyDreamer, 2008-09-29: 20:23:00

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Created by: lumina

Pronunciation: mah/cheez/bo

Sentence: Judith did her best to never show up at family potlucks, parties, etc. early. She did not want to take the chance that her macheesebeau Ernie might end up in the kitchen with Mom. He didn't know the first thing about cooking. He just liked to impress Mom with his strength. Unfortunately, nine times out of ten, Mom would finally say, "Give that to me!" as she grabbed and with one swift twist opened the jars Ernie had just busted a nut on trying to get open. :)

Etymology: Macho Cheeseball Beau

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Created by: artr

Pronunciation: rivôltng

Sentence: It\'s bad enough that the pickle jar is nearly impossible to open but somehow the juice acts like glue to reseal the jar worse than before. The situation is revaulting.

Etymology: revolting (cause to feel disgust) + vault (a secure room in a bank in which valuables are stored)

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Created by: Koekbroer

Pronunciation: Im-per-vee-tay-ner

Sentence:

Etymology: a contraction of the words "impervious" and "container"

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Created by: Mustang

Pronunciation: mah-cho-BOTSCH-up

Sentence: Stan was always trying to impress the ladies with feats of strength but more often than not his puny efforts ended with a machobotchup, leaving the impression that he was a wimp rather than a stud.

Etymology: Blend of 'macho' (an assertively virile, dominating, or domineering male) and 'botch'(to foul up hopelessly —often used with up)

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COMMENTS:

I also detect a touch of ketchup. - artr, 2012-11-30: 08:56:00

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Created by: Kyoti

Pronunciation: Vlas-uh-kin-uh-TROH-payt

Sentence: Scooter loved Granny Mabel's homemade preserves, but some of them had been canned so long ago that he often failed to vlasikinetropate well enough to get them open without resorting to hammers or screwdrivers.

Etymology: Vlasic: a brand of pickles that come in impenetrable vacuum-sealed jars + Kinetic: a visible expenditure of energy + Tropism: motion derived from stimulus, such as hunger + Pate: referring to the forehead area which reddens and sweats during this process.

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Created by: Stevenson0

Pronunciation: twist/tort

Sentence: Johnny when opening a tight lid on a ketchup bottle is able to twistort his whole body, especially his face, to help him open the bottle.

Etymology: twist + distort

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Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: krok o dyal

Sentence: When she met him , he told her he was from Australia and wrangled crocdiles for a living and was known as Crocodile Dundee. But when he had great trouble opening the jar of marmite, she knew he was actually Crockodile Dumdee.

Etymology: Crock (a jar, often earthenware;load of nonsense, foolish talk) and Crocodile (large voracious aquatic reptile;similar to an alligator)

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Created by: kimbo123

Pronunciation: strain-jury

Sentence: He developed a strainjary trying to open the jar.

Etymology:

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Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: dil fik ultee

Sentence: Who knew getting Herb to open a jar of pickles could end up being such a dillficulty? His caper started when Madge asked him to turn the lid. He used such force that he broke off the top and the contents landed on the floor. He turned something that should be dillicious into something dillsastrous.

Etymology: Dill (pickle preserved in brine or vinegar flavored with dill seed)& Difficulty (a factor causing trouble in achieving a positive result or tending to produce a negative result)

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