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Verboticisms

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Customyeranidiot

artr

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: kəstəmyoŏranidēət

Sentence: Spring has come to the Mall. There is a sense of renewal as the new product lines are displayed. Gone are the Winter doldrums of the Christmas left-over sales and inventory sales. Maybe, just maybe the next customer who comes through the door will be engaging, funny, insightful, interesting... but alas each entrant into the customer-of-the-year competition seems to find a way to transmogrify from patron to customyeranidiot with insipid questions like, "Do you work here?" "Are these (the display with the strobing 50% off sign) the sale items?" or "This item that I just dropped on the floor has a chip. Can I get a mark-down on it?" The clerk soon retreats to thoughts of after-work diversions and mentally seeks a "happy place" instead of the "uzi on the rooftop" place. Retail is swell!

Etymology: customer (a person or organization that buys goods or services from a store or business) + "You're an idiot" (self- explanatory)

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Boutiquery

Created by: remistram

Pronunciation: bow-teek-qwery

Sentence: His boutiquery was likely a sad excuse for a pick-up line but she didn't mind - she liked his slacks.

Etymology: boutique + query

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Parleyfool

Created by: readerwriter

Pronunciation: parh-lee-foolh

Sentence: This is a true story. It must be documented! During the 70s, while a hippie, wandering around Quebec, nervous about having to speak what little French I had absorbed in high school, I stuck my head into the door of a pub somewhere near Sherbrooke and spoke to a row of men sitting in semi-darkness at the bar, "Parlez-vous Francais?" They turned in unison, like a row of cows, and mooed, "Ooouui." Needless to say, I let the door slam shut and was too mortified to correct myself. What a parleyfool I was...

Etymology: Combining PARLEY, a discussion (from Fr. parler, to speak) + FOOL. Could be spelled ParlerFou!

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COMMENTS:

Cute story. :) - kateinkorea, 2009-03-27: 23:55:00

Enjoyed your sentence. Your create is a great blending plus a great fun pun on parle vous, too! - silveryaspen, 2009-03-28: 15:41:00

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Retaildundunce

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: re tayl dun duns

Sentence: Chad was what we call a retaildundunce. He'd come into the store, approach a clerk who was obviously wearing a uniform, complete with name tag and ask them if they worked here? He did this in every department he went into and yet he never bought anything or asked about our merchandise. It turned out that Chad was a "Mystery Shopper" who was hired by an agency to check on our customer service levels. How did we find out what he did? When our security department apprehended him, under his jacket he wore a uniform complete with name tag that said, "Chad, Mystery Shopper!" DUH!

Etymology: Retail (the selling of goods to consumers; usually in small quantities and not for resale) & Redundant (repetition of same sense in different words; use of more words than required to express an idea) & Dunce (these words are used to express a low opinion of someone's intelligence)

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Cusdumber

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: kus dum mer

Sentence: If you have ever worked in retail or other service jobs, you know who they are. Sure, not the nice 95% of Customers who actually pay your wage, happily, but the 5% who are the Cusdumber...the ones that usually don't end up spending, just making your life harder. They cannot read signs (like "Final Sale, No refunds"; "One per Customer" or "Do not Open Packages"). They ask foolish questions, "This is the only one in my size, will it still be here next week?" or "Do these emeralds come in any other colour but green?" or "It's 9:00 pm, does that bell ringing mean you are closing? But I just got here!" Sometimes they are rude and say hurtful things like,"Don't you know how to operate a till?" or "When I ask for a sparkly rainbow thingy with bright lights on it, you should know what I mean...did you flunk your training class?" After one of these frustrating encounters, I console myself with the fact that I am not that person and try to not be a cusdumber myself when it is my turn to be a consumer!

Etymology: Customer (someone who pays for goods or services)& Cuss (swear at)& Dumber (slow to learn or understand; lacking intellectual acuity)

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COMMENTS:

Awesome job! - kateinkorea, 2009-03-27: 04:16:00

"Do these emeralds come in any other colour but green?" LOL!!!! - abrakadeborah, 2009-03-27: 05:19:00

great word!! - mweinmann, 2009-03-27: 14:45:00

Did she wish the cusdumber went right on buyher? Super marketing word! - silveryaspen, 2009-03-28: 15:07:00

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Cusdumber

artr

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: kuhs-duh-mer

Sentence: If there is anything that a store clerk hates, it has to be the cusdumber who can't seem to do anything without asking a stupid question or making an ignorant statement. "Do you work here?" "This item is scratched (they just scratched it). Can I get a discount?" The only hope is if they get just a little dumber, they might forget to breath or how to get to to the store.

Etymology: customer (a person who purchases goods or services from another) + dumb (lacking intelligence or good judgment; stupid; dull-witted)

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Querylyevident

Created by: Jabberwocky

Pronunciation: kweer/lee/ev/i/dent

Sentence: Even though Sam stood at the crosswalk in his bright orange vest with the yellow reflective stripe which said Crossing Guard, holding a giant stop sign, pedestrians would still pose the querlyevident question "Are you the Crossing Guard"? Sometimes it made him feel like running amok in traffic.

Etymology: query + evident + 'clearly evident'

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COMMENTS:

LOL! made him feel like running amok in traffic. GOOD ONE! - abrakadeborah, 2009-03-27: 22:49:00

Funny! - kateinkorea, 2009-03-28: 00:00:00

play on the oft said 'fairly evident', too. Excellent word! - silveryaspen, 2009-03-28: 15:00:00

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Stupormarketing

Created by: mweinmann

Pronunciation: stoo + por + mark + keting

Sentence: As a retail clerk, Jonah could vouch for all of the stupormarketing that is occurring in his town. It is difficult for him to reign in the sarcasm when asked if he works in the store while he mops up a spill or stocks the shelves from a pile of boxes.

Etymology: Stupor (the lack of critical cognitive function) Supermarket( A large self-service retail market that sells food and household goods) marketing (shopping at a market)

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COMMENTS:

heh - galwaywegian, 2009-03-27: 10:45:00

stupendous! - silveryaspen, 2009-03-28: 15:42:00

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Jackask

petaj

Created by: petaj

Pronunciation: jack-ass-k

Sentence: Jill wandered around K-mart looking for help with door hinges. Eventually she went to the service desk to ask a question. The assistant called over the speaker system "Hardware to the service desk, Hardware to the service desk". When the hardware expert appeared at the service desk, Jill made a total jackask of herself saying "do you work here?"

Etymology: jackass (fool) + ask + K (as in kmart)

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COMMENTS:

mrskellyscl laughing out loud...great word - mrskellyscl, 2009-03-27: 08:58:00

super word - Jabberwocky, 2009-03-27: 12:24:00

Hilarious! THanks for such great word! - splendiction, 2009-03-28: 11:14:00

Easy to remember, meaning apparent, great blending, clever pun, ... Superb Won! - silveryaspen, 2009-03-28: 15:32:00

petaj thanks all - petaj, 2009-03-30: 06:40:00

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Customoron

artr

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: kəstəmôrän

Sentence: ”It must be National Idiot Day” Debbie said to herself as one customoron after another took up the challenge of asking the stupidest question. ”Do you work here?” was beat out by ”Is this stuff (on the clearance table) on sale? She can’t wait to see what they come up with today.

Etymology: customer (a person or organization that buys goods or services from a store or business) + moron (a stupid person)

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Comments:

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2009-03-27: 00:01:01
Today's definition was suggested by ladyiggy. Thank you ladyiggy. ~ James

ladyiggy - 2009-03-27: 09:46:00
You are very welcomed. Great words. It's hard to pick.

kateinkorea - 2009-03-28: 10:16:00
Good word!

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2009-03-29: 15:46:00
Thank you! And really, it is hard to be polite to retail staffers without being stupid. ~ James

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2010-10-11: 00:12:00
Today's definition was suggested by ladyiggy. Thank you ladyiggy. ~ James

'Hey, do you work here?'

DEFINITION: v. To ask someone who is clearly in a store uniform, perhaps on a ladder creating a display or running a cash register "Do you work here?" n. A person who doesn't know how to ask for assistance in a retail store without asking a stupid question.

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