Verboticisms

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: staff in vek shun

Sentence: When George the patient asked the man in the hospital with the white scrubs; the stethoscope, mask and chart whether he worked there as he took George's vitals, he got himself a case of staffinvection.

Etymology: Staff (employee) & Invection (. An expression which inveighs or rails against a person) & Wordplay on Staph Infection (A spherical gram-positive parasitic bacterium of the genus Staphylococcus, usually occurring in grapelike clusters and causing boils, septicemia, and other infections).

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Created by: Mustang

Pronunciation: duh-BLIV-yuss

Sentence: Vernon was so bad about overlooking the obvious and asking lame questions his friends had labeled his lame practice as duhblivious and even that was something that got by him.

Etymology: Blend of 'duh' (used to express annoyance at banality, obviousness, or stupidity) and 'oblivious' (unmindful; unconscious; unaware)

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Created by: galwaywegian

Pronunciation: klutz tum err

Sentence: The klutztomer is always riot

Etymology: customer klutz

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Created by: silveryaspen

Pronunciation: ass king

Sentence: On his shoulder, the huge brassy button said in big letters: assistant manager. Therefore, everyone was asstounded and asstonished to hear Stu Pid, assking, "Do you work here?"

Etymology: ASS, KING, ASKING. Asking redumbdant (redundant) questions makes one an assking. ASS - offensive term that deliberately insults somebody's intelligence. KING - the greatest and most powerful leader of a people who are united by a common tie, in this case, by their level of intelligence. ASKING - to question.

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COMMENTS:

Very funny! And very good! - kateinkorea, 2009-03-27: 04:18:00

Well there's an Ass----,Klutz---- and a Moron---- for today...we're all in the same mood :) Good one there! - abrakadeborah, 2009-03-27: 05:36:00

terrific - Jabberwocky, 2009-03-27: 12:24:00

I know Stu....worked with him....tried to avoid him...couldnt. - Mustang, 2009-03-28: 03:32:00

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Created by: abrakadeborah

Pronunciation: more-ron-ik-re-tail-ist

Sentence: Teddy was in the video store perusing through the latest video games when he saw a lady in a red and white uniform with a name tag of Pamela. Teddy asks,"hey do you work here Pamela?" Pamela stared hard at the man and under her breath she called him a "moronicretailist" and points to her Action Video name tag and says,"Well let me see...I'm in Action Video in this ridiculous red and white uniform talking to cutomers and you see my name tag clearly showing I work here and you called me Pamela! "So sir, what can I help you with? "Teddy asks Pamela,"are these the latest video game releases?" Pamela just points to the big red sign right in front of the kiosk where Teddy was already looking...that clearly spells out "latest video games." She shakes her head and walks off mumbling..."that "moronicretailist" must never get out of the house!"

Etymology: Moron;disused term for a person with a mental age between 8 and 12, slang for a stupid person. Retail; Retail comes from the French word retaillier which refers to "cutting off, clip and divide" in terms of tailoring (1365). It first was recorded as a noun with the meaning of a "sale in small quantities" in 1433 (French). Its literal meaning for retail was to "cut off, shred, paring".[2] Like the French, the word retail in both Dutch and German (detailhandel and Einzelhandel respectively) also refer to sale of small quantities of items. Ist; added to retail to show one who buys retail merchandise.

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COMMENTS:

good one - Jabberwocky, 2009-03-27: 12:23:00

Thank you very much Jabberwocky :) - abrakadeborah, 2009-03-27: 22:43:00

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Created by: artr

Pronunciation: kəstəmôrän

Sentence: ”It must be National Idiot Day” Debbie said to herself as one customoron after another took up the challenge of asking the stupidest question. ”Do you work here?” was beat out by ”Is this stuff (on the clearance table) on sale? She can’t wait to see what they come up with today.

Etymology: customer (a person or organization that buys goods or services from a store or business) + moron (a stupid person)

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Created by: artr

Pronunciation: kuhs-duh-mer

Sentence: If there is anything that a store clerk hates, it has to be the cusdumber who can't seem to do anything without asking a stupid question or making an ignorant statement. "Do you work here?" "This item is scratched (they just scratched it). Can I get a discount?" The only hope is if they get just a little dumber, they might forget to breath or how to get to to the store.

Etymology: customer (a person who purchases goods or services from another) + dumb (lacking intelligence or good judgment; stupid; dull-witted)

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Created by: Jabberwocky

Pronunciation: kweer/lee/ev/i/dent

Sentence: Even though Sam stood at the crosswalk in his bright orange vest with the yellow reflective stripe which said Crossing Guard, holding a giant stop sign, pedestrians would still pose the querlyevident question "Are you the Crossing Guard"? Sometimes it made him feel like running amok in traffic.

Etymology: query + evident + 'clearly evident'

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COMMENTS:

LOL! made him feel like running amok in traffic. GOOD ONE! - abrakadeborah, 2009-03-27: 22:49:00

Funny! - kateinkorea, 2009-03-28: 00:00:00

play on the oft said 'fairly evident', too. Excellent word! - silveryaspen, 2009-03-28: 15:00:00

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Created by: artr

Pronunciation: kəstəmyoŏranidēət

Sentence: Spring has come to the Mall. There is a sense of renewal as the new product lines are displayed. Gone are the Winter doldrums of the Christmas left-over sales and inventory sales. Maybe, just maybe the next customer who comes through the door will be engaging, funny, insightful, interesting... but alas each entrant into the customer-of-the-year competition seems to find a way to transmogrify from patron to customyeranidiot with insipid questions like, "Do you work here?" "Are these (the display with the strobing 50% off sign) the sale items?" or "This item that I just dropped on the floor has a chip. Can I get a mark-down on it?" The clerk soon retreats to thoughts of after-work diversions and mentally seeks a "happy place" instead of the "uzi on the rooftop" place. Retail is swell!

Etymology: customer (a person or organization that buys goods or services from a store or business) + "You're an idiot" (self- explanatory)

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Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: re tayl dun duns

Sentence: Chad was what we call a retaildundunce. He'd come into the store, approach a clerk who was obviously wearing a uniform, complete with name tag and ask them if they worked here? He did this in every department he went into and yet he never bought anything or asked about our merchandise. It turned out that Chad was a "Mystery Shopper" who was hired by an agency to check on our customer service levels. How did we find out what he did? When our security department apprehended him, under his jacket he wore a uniform complete with name tag that said, "Chad, Mystery Shopper!" DUH!

Etymology: Retail (the selling of goods to consumers; usually in small quantities and not for resale) & Redundant (repetition of same sense in different words; use of more words than required to express an idea) & Dunce (these words are used to express a low opinion of someone's intelligence)

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