Verboticisms

Created by: readerwriter

Pronunciation: jak-grahm-mer

Sentence: In the Teacher's Room, out of her hearing, of course, the red-haired English teacher was referred to as "The Jackgrammar." Even the Physics teacher, a man of few words and much substance, laughed out loud at the label. The barrage of her daily correction was intolerable. Her red pen not only marked her students papers, but the notice board ("final grade's due on...") , the photocopy machine ("put xtra paper here.."), the Principle's (sic) suggestion box. Little did the teachers know that her boyfriend was a tattoo artist and that underneath her long-sleeved blouses, on the skin of her left forearm (unseen in the drawing), was a red and blue heart and the words, "Luv Conquers All."

Etymology: A play on "jackhammer," a pneumatic tool for breaking pavement and drilling rock.

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COMMENTS:

Laughed all the way through the sentence. Luv the way the etymology implies such people hit us like a hammar and break us. - silveryaspen, 2009-01-16: 10:08:00

Good one! - Nosila, 2009-01-16: 20:46:00

This one's destined to be a classic. - metrohumanx, 2009-01-21: 15:34:00

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Created by: idavecook

Pronunciation: Graham-A-nay-tor

Sentence: That was the last time I sleep with that grammanator. Yes, I texted you ! I effing TEXTED you!

Etymology: Grammar & the governor of California

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Created by: DaddiezGyrl

Pronunciation: cun-ing-LEEN-gwest, n. cun-ing-LEEN-gus, v. intr.

Sentence: The unmistakable voice was none other than that of the town's Cunninglinguist; there to interrupt, correct and embarrass her.

Etymology: Blend of Cunnilingus+Cunning+Linguist Cunning: showing inventiveness and skill Linguist: a specialist in linguistics and or languages Also deriving from Cunnilingus: oral stimulation; usually involving the vulva or clitoris

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Created by: Mustang

Pronunciation: par-SNIK-ety

Sentence: Being a stickler for grammar, Esmerelda was thoroughly parsnickety and always quick to correct even the most insignificant grammatical blunders, and was especially critical of her boyfriend, Leonardo, whose grammar skills were particularly weak.

Etymology: Blend of 'parse' (To break (a sentence) down into its component parts of speech with an explanation of the form, function, and syntactical relationship of each part. ) and 'persnickety' (Overparticular about trivial details; fastidious)

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Created by: artr

Pronunciation: gram-puh-lees

Sentence: Mindy is sorry she ever introduced her Grampa to FaceBook. Worse yet is that she friended him. He has become the grammpolice, correcting her every misspelling, every errant comma or apostrophe. Her friends are leaving fewer and fewer comments because he has started "helping" them too.

Etymology: Grammar (the study of the way the sentences of a language are constructed) + Grampa (grandfather) + Police (an organized civil force for maintaining order, preventing and detecting crime, and enforcing the laws)

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Created by: OZZIEBOB

Pronunciation: wurd-PREE-fekt

Sentence: "But this is madness. I am trying to stop this company from becoming a grammatical graveyard! Don't you realize it concerns every person in this country - and, moreover, in the greater part of the world to speak English perfectly" Behind his back, in a low voice, someone murmured, " Oh no, has someone split an infinitive again." Things were becoming tense as Bob, flushing crimson, started to leave the room. After few moments, someone said, "Hope that's the last of "Verndracula" for a while. "Verndracula", "Dipthong", "Cretaphor" and, quasi-officially, "The Wordprefect" were but a few pejoratives for Bob, whose habitual correcting of even the slightest grammatical error was driving his colleagues to demential declensia. However, they agreed, that it was a "critical period" in the company's history, and that it would be a "double negative" if they sat there tangentiality, and did nothing to put a "glottal stop" to his psycholinguistic punishment. Firstly they started to mutilate plurals, one boomerang became two "beemearang"; one cuckoo was two "cuckee". And, in an attempt, to render this onomatopedant almost apoplexic: 'Boo-hoo' became "bee-hee" and "boom" became "beem" Reaching for the mountain top of malapropisms, they uttered howlers such as a "let's not talk about tattoo subjects". Gradually, Bob began to realize that he had lost all "soap in his hole" when he began to slip, more and more, into spoonerisms - of course, that should be speenerism.

Etymology: Blend of WORD & PREFECT: School boy,especially in English Grammar schools, with responsibility for th discipline and "proper" behavior of other students.

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COMMENTS:

There's nothing like clouding up the waters with a good mixed metaphor, ya know! - arrrteest, 2008-03-26: 12:04:00

excellent sentence - Jabberwocky, 2008-03-26: 14:00:00

So many hysterical stories today! Very amusing. - Tigger, 2008-03-26: 22:29:00

Loved it...it left me almost comma-tose. Period. Doesn't a dipthong sound like the kind of low-cut bathing suit that Borat wore? Isn't a beemerang a carphone call for a yuppie? Cheers!(Is the singular form of that a cher?) - Nosila, 2008-03-26: 22:40:00

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Created by: arrrteest

Pronunciation: Gram-stop-oh

Sentence: Maude was a good wife. She tollerated and suffered throught many of her pet peeves about Larry, but the one she couldn't pass up was his poor language. He constantly spewed out mixed tenses as often as he mixed metaphors, and noun-verb agreement would always get lost somewhere in a sentence. Larry paid as much attention to what he said as much as she how much she corrected him. He just laughed it off as he called her his little "Gramstapo."

Etymology: Gram -from grammar + gestap - the Nazi secret police

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COMMENTS:

gestapo, that is. (Consider this a preemptive correction for the missing "o" to avoid any wannabe gramstapos out there from pouncing on me. lol - arrrteest, 2008-03-26: 12:42:00

Or, would it be called "gramstapoes?" - arrrteest, 2008-03-26: 12:42:00

or "gramstopi?" - stache, 2008-03-26: 12:55:00

Larry should not forget, "We ask the questions!" - OZZIEBOB, 2008-03-26: 17:34:00

Ja, gutes wort (yes, good word). Did you realize that you can 'Edit' your entry arrrteest? - Tigger, 2008-03-26: 22:54:00

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Created by: Kirubeza

Pronunciation: Strikt - acks

Sentence: Kevin's grasp of grammar was not what one would call the best and while his feeble attempt to verbalize how he felt about Jodie would perhaps have come across as cute to someone else, it was not in her nature as a strictax to allow such atrocities go unpunished and she brutally (yet somewhat suggestively) corrected his many grievous errors.

Etymology: A combination of STRICT - Exactly correct - and SYNTAX - The grammatical arrangement of words in a sentence.

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Created by: kashman

Pronunciation: gram-o-poop

Sentence: Alicia's act of gramopooping every sentence spoken by her mismatched boyfriend Billy Bob was fully justified in her heard; she had a Master's degree in English Language, while poor Billy Bob never even completed his high school education. Even though Alicia was the biggest ever gramopoop Billy has come across, he knew that's the highest level of intellectual dating chain he will ever get, so he kept hoping for Alicia's "gramonstipation".

Etymology: Grammar + Poop (slang for a person regarded as spoiler/fun destroyer).

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COMMENTS:

"Gramonstipation"! Oh, that takes the cake! No pun intended. - diyan627, 2008-03-26: 03:45:00

It seems that Billy Bob knew all about the "dative case" - OZZIEBOB, 2008-03-26: 17:54:00

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Created by: Mustang

Pronunciation: par-SNIK-ety

Sentence: Being a stickler for grammar, Miriam was always quick to correct even the most insignificant grammatical blunders, and was especially critical of her boyfriend, Maxim, whose grammar skills were particularly weak.

Etymology: Blend of 'parse' (To break (a sentence) down into its component parts of speech with an explanation of the form, function, and syntactical relationship of each part. ) and 'persnickety' (Overparticular about trivial details; fastidious)

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COMMENTS:

Excellent! - silveryaspen, 2009-01-16: 02:09:00

love it - Jabberwocky, 2009-01-16: 16:14:00

He should MAXIMize Miriam's skills as his own personal editor...great word. - Nosila, 2009-01-16: 20:49:00

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