Verboticisms

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: gramerkraker

Sentence: James hates e-mail, not for its intrusive nature but the way most people use it. Worse yet is text messaging. (He refuses to call it texting) When someone sends him a message, he replies with a corrected edition of the original message with commas, hyphens, spelling and proper verb tense. He won't respond to the content until the originator sends it back in its corrected form. His friends have started calling him a grammarcracker. He is amused by the term but won't actually type it because it isn't in the dictionary.

Etymology: grammar (the whole system and structure of a language) + cracker (a fine example of something)

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COMMENTS:

I h8 txtn 2. - wayoffcenter, 2009-01-16: 04:46:00

And a very nice play on graham crackers! - silveryaspen, 2009-01-16: 10:12:00

Show them no Grammercy! - Nosila, 2009-01-16: 20:44:00

Those purists can really contaminate our ebonics. - metrohumanx, 2009-01-21: 15:35:00

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Created by: OZZIEBOB

Pronunciation: wurd-PREE-fekt

Sentence: "But this is madness. I am trying to stop this company from becoming a grammatical graveyard! Don't you realize it concerns every person in this country - and, moreover, in the greater part of the world to speak English perfectly" Behind his back, in a low voice, someone murmured, " Oh no, has someone split an infinitive again." Things were becoming tense as Bob, flushing crimson, started to leave the room. After few moments, someone said, "Hope that's the last of "Verndracula" for a while. "Verndracula", "Dipthong", "Cretaphor" and, quasi-officially, "The Wordprefect" were but a few pejoratives for Bob, whose habitual correcting of even the slightest grammatical error was driving his colleagues to demential declensia. However, they agreed, that it was a "critical period" in the company's history, and that it would be a "double negative" if they sat there tangentiality, and did nothing to put a "glottal stop" to his psycholinguistic punishment. Firstly they started to mutilate plurals, one boomerang became two "beemearang"; one cuckoo was two "cuckee". And, in an attempt, to render this onomatopedant almost apoplexic: 'Boo-hoo' became "bee-hee" and "boom" became "beem" Reaching for the mountain top of malapropisms, they uttered howlers such as a "let's not talk about tattoo subjects". Gradually, Bob began to realize that he had lost all "soap in his hole" when he began to slip, more and more, into spoonerisms - of course, that should be speenerism.

Etymology: Blend of WORD & PREFECT: School boy,especially in English Grammar schools, with responsibility for th discipline and "proper" behavior of other students.

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COMMENTS:

There's nothing like clouding up the waters with a good mixed metaphor, ya know! - arrrteest, 2008-03-26: 12:04:00

excellent sentence - Jabberwocky, 2008-03-26: 14:00:00

So many hysterical stories today! Very amusing. - Tigger, 2008-03-26: 22:29:00

Loved it...it left me almost comma-tose. Period. Doesn't a dipthong sound like the kind of low-cut bathing suit that Borat wore? Isn't a beemerang a carphone call for a yuppie? Cheers!(Is the singular form of that a cher?) - Nosila, 2008-03-26: 22:40:00

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Created by: sunights

Pronunciation:

Sentence:

Etymology:

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Created by: silveryaspen

Pronunciation: Rek ti fy

Sentence: Killsay was excellent at morphemes and constituents. He was born a Grammar. Killsay was very in tense, and always in the accusative. He was overly generous in sharing his grammar. Killsay would restruckture the speecch of any one. No was was safe from his guydance (guidance) ... shuffling his feet, waving his finger, tweaking your verbose, nitpicking through one's words ... he would wrectify everything said.

Etymology: RECTIFY, WRECK. RECTIFY - correct, amend, revise. WRECK - to damage and destroy with too much revision. --- (Morphemes are basic word-building units. Constituents are sentence-building units. They are true grammatical words, not verbotomies.) Killsay Grammar is a pun on actor Kelsey Grammer, star of the tv show Frasier.

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COMMENTS:

Bet she had a bad rectutation.... - Mustang, 2009-01-16: 04:17:00

After she irritates enough people, she might turn a wreckluse. - mweinmann, 2009-01-16: 08:12:00

Thank you for the clever comments. But Killsay is a he ... not a she! Men are guilty of doing this, too! - silveryaspen, 2009-01-16: 10:03:00

nice - Jabberwocky, 2009-01-16: 16:16:00

Killsay Grammar...love it! - Nosila, 2009-01-16: 20:43:00

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Created by: Northwoodsman

Pronunciation: kŏn'vər-sā'shā'nəl

Sentence: She is so conversatianal that a small chat turns into an English lesson.

Etymology: conversation + anal-retentive

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COMMENTS:

kinda hard to say, but it hits the mark, I must say. - stache, 2008-03-26: 14:03:00

funny word - Jabberwocky, 2008-03-26: 16:04:00

"Teaching is the fine art of imparting knowledge without possessing it. " Nice word. - OZZIEBOB, 2008-03-26: 18:00:00

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Created by: readerwriter

Pronunciation: jak-grahm-mer

Sentence: In the Teacher's Room, out of her hearing, of course, the red-haired English teacher was referred to as "The Jackgrammar." Even the Physics teacher, a man of few words and much substance, laughed out loud at the label. The barrage of her daily correction was intolerable. Her red pen not only marked her students papers, but the notice board ("final grade's due on...") , the photocopy machine ("put xtra paper here.."), the Principle's (sic) suggestion box. Little did the teachers know that her boyfriend was a tattoo artist and that underneath her long-sleeved blouses, on the skin of her left forearm (unseen in the drawing), was a red and blue heart and the words, "Luv Conquers All."

Etymology: A play on "jackhammer," a pneumatic tool for breaking pavement and drilling rock.

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COMMENTS:

Laughed all the way through the sentence. Luv the way the etymology implies such people hit us like a hammar and break us. - silveryaspen, 2009-01-16: 10:08:00

Good one! - Nosila, 2009-01-16: 20:46:00

This one's destined to be a classic. - metrohumanx, 2009-01-21: 15:34:00

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Created by: artr

Pronunciation: grampä

Sentence: You could always count on Grammpa to correct his grandchildren whenever they spoke. Sometimes they could barely utter a word or two before he would jump in to rephrase what they had just said. Eventually the children stopped talking at all when he was around. Some think that was his goal in the first place.

Etymology: grammar (the whole system and structure of a language or of languages in general, usually taken as consisting of syntax and morphology) + grandpa (one’s grandfather)

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Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: sin taxi der mist

Sentence: Lynn Gwistik was secretly known as Marian the Grammarian. She was a stickler for correct grammar. She was neither passive nor active, but always very tense. When she fell in love with the object of her desire, Jerry Und, she knew he was not perfect and she would have to try and modify him, because he was such an onomatopoeian. He had prepositioned her and when their ellipsis met, he was superlative. But we all know that love is of a transitive nature and when she tired of his dangling modifiers, her clause came out and she attempted a ligature on him. Jerry had not known that Lynn was a syntaxidermist before she had tried to have him mounted on her trophy wall with her other antecedents. Thanks to his testimony, she is serving an indefinite,run-on, compound sentence for her crimes.

Etymology: Syntax (the grammatical arrangement of words in sentences; studies of the rules for forming admissible sentences;a systematic orderly arrangement & Taxidermist (a craftsman who stuffs and mounts the skins of animals for display)

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COMMENTS:

That was a lot of thought on your part - very clever! I voted for yours but forgot to sign in first. - karenanne, 2010-06-02: 15:49:00

I count 18 grammatical references, plus the two punny names. - karenanne, 2010-06-02: 15:51:00

They call me the Queen of the Pundra...what can I say? - Nosila, 2010-06-03: 00:11:00

SO - you are on the site at 11 min. past midnight - THAT'S how you do it. Most of your REM sleep is probably spent on dreaming up words and sentences for Verbotomy! - karenanne, 2010-06-03: 19:37:00

Oh, that's right - I forgot you are on Mountain Standard Time, so it was only 10:11 pm for you. - karenanne, 2010-06-04: 19:17:00

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Created by: kateinkorea

Pronunciation: lin GWIS bitch

Sentence: I am sick and tired of her linguisbitch, annoying behaviour.

Etymology: LINGUISTICS: connected with language BITCH: complain

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Created by: lplybon

Pronunciation: "Kun-EE-leeng-WIST"

Sentence: Everyone dreads the Thursday afternoon staff meeting: Bob, the office manager, makes what should be a 30-minute meeting addressing staff concerns a 2-hour lecture on correct grammar. Bob is such a cunnilinguist he spends more time correcting every little mistake people make when speaking than actually hearing what they are saying. If Bob reminds us that his name is a palindrome one more time, I swear I will scream!

Etymology: Combination of the words "cunning" and "linguist"

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COMMENTS:

Brilliant !!! - XMbIPb, 2010-06-02: 19:34:00

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