Vote for the best verboticism.
DEFINITION: v. To arrive at a meeting completely unprepared and then work diligently and obviously to distract yourself from the proceedings. n. A person who attends a meeting but does not believe that they are paid enough to actually pay attention.
Verboticisms
Click on each verboticism to read the sentences created by the Verbotomy writers, and to see your voting options...
You have two votes. Click on the words to read the details, then vote your favorite.
Procrasturbate
Created by: youmustvotenato
Pronunciation: pro-crass-stir-bate
Sentence: Rick whipped out his phone and commenced forth to procrasturbate during the meeting, much to the chagrin of corporate. Rick, of course, worked in IT.
Etymology: procrastinate and mast**bate.
Dislaction
Created by: Biscotti
Pronunciation: dys-lack-shun
Sentence: John was a severe dislaction when he showed up to the quarterly report meeting dressed up in a gorilla suit and screaming "Guerilla warfare, recruit the monkies!!" Needless to say, he was dragged away on possible terrorism charges and lost his job.
Etymology: distraction (getting other's attention away from the problem at hand) + slacker (one who is consistently lazy)
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COMMENTS:
Entertainalicious! - doseydotes, 2008-03-24: 17:08:00
Roared with laughter ... Great creates! - silveryaspen, 2008-03-24: 21:16:00
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Offassoffender
Created by: silveryaspen
Pronunciation: off - ass - uhf - end - er
Sentence: Once in awhile, an office has an offassoffender, who slacks off, and sluffs off, his work onto others. He is unready and unwilling to go to the meeting table. Off-timed, he strolls in with nothing, and mouths off, spewing off the cuff, off the peg, off the wall remarks, many of them off key, off color, and offensive. The boss finally had enoff. He offed him ... he took him off the books, and right off the job! That was the end of awful Mr. Offalhead.
Etymology: Office, Ass, Offender,
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COMMENTS:
That horse's patoot was no doubt the butt of many jokes over the water cooler. The boss was right to expel that stinker from the offeces. - Mustang, 2008-03-24: 05:31:00
Those puns are just offal. - stache, 2008-03-24: 10:05:00
Offally amusing! - spotthecat1, 2008-03-24: 16:28:00
Very clever and amusing. - OZZIEBOB, 2008-03-24: 19:53:00
Don't think I've ever heard anyone being called an "Offalhead" before. It's very 'PC'and I may just use it when talking about some Offassoffenders I know. ;) - Tigger, 2008-03-24: 20:18:00
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Narblivious
Created by: Niktionary
Pronunciation: nar-bli-vee-us
Sentence: Since she was the CEO's daughter, the new "Vice President of Positivity" was completely narblivious after finding out she had to fire the entire department.
Etymology: narscisistic+oblivious
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COMMENTS:
Never thought about this aspect! Potent sentence and etymology with an even more powerful verboticism. Powerful creation! - silveryaspen, 2008-03-24: 10:50:00
I like the sound of it. - purpleartichokes, 2008-03-24: 14:07:00
Nice word. - OZZIEBOB, 2008-03-24: 19:48:00
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Brattendee
Created by: purpleartichokes
Pronunciation: brat-tend-dee
Sentence: At every meeting, except for those where pastries were served, Joel was either the designated particican't or brattendee, believing he was worth more to the company due to his liberal arts education and extensive sales experience at Toys 'R' Us.
Etymology: brat, attendee
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COMMENTS:
Joel sounds like one who could be destined for fame and fortune.....among Hollywood's 'intellectual elite'. - Mustang, 2008-03-24: 05:45:00
Brings new meaning to the expression toy boy. Great choice of words and great job of blending them. Brat fits plus brings out all those feelings that go with it. Using 'brat' in your verboticism was brilliant! Exceptional verboticism! - silveryaspen, 2008-03-24: 10:38:00
Good one and an added bonus of particican't. Love it. - arrrteest, 2008-03-24: 11:34:00
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Reprezzzzzentative
Created by: galwaywegian
Pronunciation: rep rez ent eh tiv
Sentence: The bosses' reprezzzzzzentative sneered his way through the nahgenda.
Etymology: representative zzzzzzzzzzz.
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COMMENTS:
I love 'nahgenda' — it really epitomizes meetings where nothing is accomplished. - Tigger, 2008-03-24: 21:11:00
Very innovative etymology and creations! - silveryaspen, 2008-03-24: 21:28:00
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Muteinear
Created by: Nosila
Pronunciation: myoot in eer
Sentence: Phil was always a lazy, subversive radical in our management meetings. A Rebel without a Clause; a true American Idle;a Gatorade Renegade;an Insurgence Agent and a Maverick Manager. He never contributed any items to the agenda, never participated in discussions, absolutely never volunteered for any committees or extra tasks. He was a facilitator's nightmare. Instead of participating with his peers, he did crossword puzzles, read novels or watched his mini-tv. It had gone on so long unchecked that his peer group and a long line of his bosses just learned to ignore him. His purpose was ornamental, not functional. Just before he retired, the secret was revealed. He was a Muteinear...before each meeting, in fact before each work day, he simply took the batteries out of his hearing aids and enjoyed stress-free work days!
Etymology: Mutineer (open rebellion and refusal to obey authorities) & Mute (a device used to soften the tone of a musical instrument;deaden a sound or noise;expressed without speech; especially because words would be inappropriate or inadequate) & In Ear (inside the the sense organ for hearing and equilibrium)
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COMMENTS:
great word! - galwaywegian, 2009-01-14: 04:46:00
Laughed all the way through from the great first line to the punch line ending! - silveryaspen, 2009-01-14: 12:07:00
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Attendease
Created by: Nosila
Pronunciation: att ten deez
Sentence: Seth was there, if only in body not in spirit, when the corporate meetings Started. His apparent attendease is due to the fact that the Boss told him to go and be paid for the experience, even if he felt no need to participate in any meaningful way.
Etymology: Attendee (a person who participates in a meeting) & Ease (that which is not hard)
Onslacker
Created by: leechdude
Pronunciation: on- slaker
Sentence: The onslacker didn't mind the meeting until his boss had fired him.
Etymology: onlooker, slacker
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COMMENTS:
Lot of originality in your choice of words for your etymology. Good verboticism. - silveryaspen, 2008-03-24: 21:18:00
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Attennot
Created by: spotthecat1
Pronunciation: uh-ten-not
Sentence: Mrs. Persnickety sent her most recent intern in the archival section of the expired copyright department to the monthly Budget/Appropriations Committee meeting. Dan Slouth, a soon to be ex-student at Bozo Community College, sauntered off to attennot the meeting with his ipod and suduko in hand.
Etymology: M.E.: attencioun + M.E.: nought
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COMMENTS:
Like it a lot! Great sentence. Right on the definition. Excellent Verboticism! - silveryaspen, 2008-03-24: 21:22:00
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Comments:
Today's definition was suggested by remistram. Thank you remistram. ~ James
arrrteest - 2008-03-24: 07:46:00
This is a poem I actually wrote in a meeting:
Meeting Hell
By David E. Selvin
As I sit here in this meeting,
My mind's attention span is fleeting,
I contemplate actually retreating,
From this place in meeting hell.
But from the clock, it's click and clocking,
My state of mind, it keeps on mocking,
My inner scream, to me, is shocking,
As I hallucinate the ending bell.
Still, I came with no allusion,
Complicit in my blind collusion,
For my schedule’s planned intrusion,
That I’ve come to accept, but dread.
I arrive and check the seating,
Politely smile and say a greeting,
Knowing sanity will take a beating,
Within the confines of my weary head.
Still, although, I'm stuck here sitting,
My stomach lining must be pitting,
A straight jacket soon just might be fitting,
And only time will surely tell.
I hope a response is not required,
They might notice sanity expired,
And ability to reason duly mired,
My interest level a labored sell.
I awake: Is it a nightmare?
I catch myself with an insipid blank stare,
Hearing talking though the stale air,
Not all sure where it’s coming from.
Try to focus. What is the topic?
The planner’s plans were quite myopic,
My mind is on an island tropic,
My body sits here limp and numb.
I hope I don’t get called to answer,
My pulse would rise as if a dancer,
My body pained as if full with cancer,
Reacting like a hammered thumb.
A sympathetic nod of head,
Seems to follow just what is said,
But an EEG would read out "dead,"
An indication not all is well.
I'm not sure what I gain from training,
For what topic that it's pertaining,
The whole experience is very draining,
My angst is what I need to quell.
My angst is what I need to quell.
Excellent poem arrrteest! It insubordinuttily captures the disenwaged spirit of a slacktendant agendabender. ~ James
Jamagra - 2008-03-24: 09:19:00
Quoth the employee, "Nevermore!"
silveryaspen - 2008-03-24: 11:07:00
Remistram and James, your definition and cartoon are a big hit! They not only inspired great verboticisms (not a bad one in the bunch again) but even poetry! Laughter, too! Great job!
silveryaspen - 2008-03-24: 11:10:00
Did you write your poem in a meeting hell, arrrteest? It is a wonderfully well done rhyme and adds much to our time here today! I'm so glad you shared it with us.
arrrteest - 2008-03-24: 13:36:00
Write it in meeting hell? Yes, I did! It was a mind numbing, pointless, poorly thought out, going through the motions, no followthrough afterwards, dead in the water, series of meetings/"trainings" that is enherent within large organizations. It was complete with "activators," "capture sheets" and "group participation." Aaaah phoey. You bet. Am I sarred for life? Well let's just say the poem saved me from $$$$ of therapy. If you want to be productive and positive in a meeting, don't sit next to me. LOL!
purpleartichokes - 2008-03-24: 16:00:00
Great poem arrrteest! I think I was at that meeting.
Jamagra - 2008-03-24: 16:41:00
Wow Arteest! Glad you have writing as an outlet from meeting hell! I really do NOT miss those days!
arrrteest - 2008-03-24: 17:22:00
"inherent"-ah an errant moment
wayoffcenter - 2009-01-14: 04:40:00
but your word is not in your sentence...
wayoffcenter - 2009-01-14: 04:46:00
Sorry, comment in wrong spot (and I used to laugh at people who made this mistake) Comment was meant for Illoiterite.
Today's definition was suggested by remistram. Thank you remistram. ~ James