Vote for the best verboticism.

'Our boss said I had to attend this meeting.'

DEFINITION: v. To arrive at a meeting completely unprepared and then work diligently and obviously to distract yourself from the proceedings. n. A person who attends a meeting but does not believe that they are paid enough to actually pay attention.

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Verboticisms

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Attendease

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: att ten deez

Sentence: Seth was there, if only in body not in spirit, when the corporate meetings Started. His apparent attendease is due to the fact that the Boss told him to go and be paid for the experience, even if he felt no need to participate in any meaningful way.

Etymology: Attendee (a person who participates in a meeting) & Ease (that which is not hard)

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Agendabender

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: ah jenda ben der

Sentence: Todd was a first class Agendabender. He hated meetings with a passion and felt they were a waste of time. Sometimes they had meetings just to decide when the next meeting would be! He was considered a renegade for not wanting to attend the meetings, he felt it cut into his time at work. Iromically, those persons who convened meetings ad nauseum, just want to hear their own voices and ideas and apparently did not have enough real work to do, nor deadlines to meet. Todd analyzed what these meetings comprised: "Minutes" of the meetings should actually be called "Hours"; The "Board Room" should have been renamed The "Bored Room"; the "Chair Person" should be called the "Stare Person"...'cause they always managed to spear the attendees with their eyes; and Preparation for a meeting?...the only one anyone really needed was "Preparation H" for the long periods of time spent sitting on the hard wooden chairs! Yes, it was obvious to Todd that some people in his firm got their MBA's specializing in congregation and mind-numbing rhetoric. Unbeknownst to the other attendees, Todd's days attending these mindless marathons were soon to be ended. He had just inherited the company from his uncle and his first order of business would be to agendabender the hell out of these pointless meetings!

Etymology: agenda { a list of matters to be taken up (as at a meeting)} & bender (someone who modifies the rules to suit themselves) & genderbender (for rhyming purposes, not that there's anything wrong with that!)

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COMMENTS:

I admire your witty word plays in quotes, and your story, for they very humorously and successfully convey the feeling of frustration. Perhaps before his agendabender to ease his frustration, he went on another kind of bender! - silveryaspen, 2008-03-24: 01:35:00

Perhaps Todd is a "Boy George" fan? Clever word; luv the sentence! - OZZIEBOB, 2008-03-24: 02:26:00

Workershirker? Congrats! - readerwriter, 2009-01-14: 09:30:00

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Spectraitor

Created by: Jabberwocky

Pronunciation: spec/tray/tur

Sentence: John attended the morning meeting merely as a spectraitor. He successfully sabotaged establishing the agenda for the day.

Etymology: spectator (onlooker) + traitor (subversive element)

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COMMENTS:

Wow! I admire the way you select words and put them together in your sentence and verboticisms so that we don't just read and understand ... they also evoke feelings and emotions ... of all kinds. Not only is your sentence and word right on the definition, but evokes that antipathy we all feel when it happens. Outstanding verboticism! - silveryaspen, 2008-03-24: 10:32:00

Cleverly constructed word. - OZZIEBOB, 2008-03-24: 19:49:00

...now if he could only get the competition to pay him for sabotaging the meetings. Hmmm. Nice word! - Tigger, 2008-03-24: 21:16:00

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Recalcityroaf

metrohumanx

Created by: metrohumanx

Pronunciation: ree-cal-sit-TIE-roaf (recalcityroafette)

Sentence: The Library Dominatrix had forced Jeff to abandon his personal feifdom and attend a typically bogus meeting at the Megastructure. Unkemp and unconcerned, Jeff was only a RECALCI-TYROAF compared to the rest of us who had suffered through endless vapid meetings totally devoid of meaning or productivity. Jeff's casual insolence marked him for what he was...a mere amateur at the subtle art of boss-baiting. His five-minute Pornopoint Presentation only brought him a week in the cooler. Years of administrative harassment had converted our workplace into an academic version of a prisoner of war camp, and our subtle sarcasm, subliminal suggestions and underground campaign of disinformation had led to the total breakdown of more than one camp administrator. Totally lacking subtlety, Jeff's blatant insolence and goon-baiting drew the Commandant's attention while we discreetly falsified memos, released budgies, and planted several alarm clocks timed to disrupt our annual Staff Appreciation Day. So even a RECALCI-TYROAF has a place in the great SCHEME of things. They never DID discover the tunnel.

Etymology: RECALCItrant+TYRo+OAF=RECALCITYROAF....RECALCITRANT:: obstinately defiant of authority or restraint,difficult to manage or train,not responsive to treatment; Late Latin recalcitrant-, recalcitrans, present participle of recalcitrare to be stubbornly disobedient, from Latin, to kick back, from re- + calcitrare to kick, from calc-, calx heel.....TYRO:a beginner in learning,one inept at insubordination;Medieval Latin, from Latin tiro young soldier, tyro.....OAF:a stupid person, a boob,a big clumsy slow-witted person; alteration of auf, alfe goblin's child, probably from Middle English alven, elven elf, fairy, from Old English elfen nymphs; akin to Old English ælf elf.

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COMMENTS:

metrohumanx Rats! The word "city" seems too pronounced- I wanted more emphasis on "tyro". I'll try to do better, gang. - metrohumanx, 2009-01-14: 01:21:00

metrohumanx Free online books here: http://www.gutenberg.org/catalog/ - metrohumanx, 2009-01-14: 02:05:00

I tried to say that three times and broke my tongue....but I still like it. - Mustang, 2009-01-14: 17:57:00

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Poohpoohbah

artr

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: poōpoōbä

Sentence: Bob attends meetings as directed. That doesn’t mean he feels the need to contribute anything useful. He is the self-appointed poohpoohbah of the conference. If anybody makes a suggestion he will begrudging look up from his Blackberry long enough to utter something like ”That won’t work” or ”That’s a stupid idea” and go back to ignoring the proceedings.

Etymology: Pooh-pooh (dismiss (an idea or suggestion) as being foolish or impractical) + Pooh-bah (a person having much influence or holding many offices at the same time, esp. one perceived as pompously self-important)

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Offassoffender

Created by: silveryaspen

Pronunciation: off - ass - uhf - end - er

Sentence: Once in awhile, an office has an offassoffender, who slacks off, and sluffs off, his work onto others. He is unready and unwilling to go to the meeting table. Off-timed, he strolls in with nothing, and mouths off, spewing off the cuff, off the peg, off the wall remarks, many of them off key, off color, and offensive. The boss finally had enoff. He offed him ... he took him off the books, and right off the job! That was the end of awful Mr. Offalhead.

Etymology: Office, Ass, Offender,

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COMMENTS:

That horse's patoot was no doubt the butt of many jokes over the water cooler. The boss was right to expel that stinker from the offeces. - Mustang, 2008-03-24: 05:31:00

Those puns are just offal. - stache, 2008-03-24: 10:05:00

Offally amusing! - spotthecat1, 2008-03-24: 16:28:00

Very clever and amusing. - OZZIEBOB, 2008-03-24: 19:53:00

Don't think I've ever heard anyone being called an "Offalhead" before. It's very 'PC'and I may just use it when talking about some Offassoffenders I know. ;) - Tigger, 2008-03-24: 20:18:00

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Attendunce

Created by: galwaywegian

Pronunciation: att enn duhn sssssss

Sentence: The attendunce at the meeting was blimpressive

Etymology: attendance, dunce

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Rotwhiler

Created by: silveryaspen

Pronunciation: rot while er

Sentence: Not one to bring a thing to the table, nor one to go and fetch, he never worked like a dog. He would sit for hours. He idled away the weeks, like they were all, dog days of summer. He was not a springer into action, and certainly not a pointer of the way. To meetings, he would go, but he was just a setter. He was a rotwhiler! Dog gone him!

Etymology: ROT, WHILE AWAY. Rot - to spoil; as in to spoil the meeting or the day. While away - to pass time idly.

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COMMENTS:

at least he went to meetings - our IT guys are all laptop dogs - Jabberwocky, 2009-01-14: 13:41:00

I had a dog just like that, but he was a pit poodle. - Mustang, 2009-01-14: 17:56:00

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Blunderachiever

Created by: Tigger

Pronunciation: /BLUN-der-uh-chee-ver/

Sentence: Scott was a consistent blunderachiever at work. Last week he brought his newpaper to the project meeting, read the comics, and he even laughed out loud a few times during the status review. Then he started on his crossword puzzle — he leaned over and whispered to Jennifer "Psst, what's a 4-letter word for 'silence'?" and when she told him to "Hush!" he just just nodded and said, "Hey, thanks."

Etymology: Blunder - to move or act blindly, stupidly (from Old Norse, blundra "shut one's eyes") + Underachiever - a person who performs below expectations (under "below" & achieve "attain through effort")

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COMMENTS:

Scott was no doubt suffering from delusions of adequacy. He should consider taking up farming where he'd no doubt be truly outstanding in his field. - Mustang, 2008-03-24: 05:35:00

petaj Scott was once a pasture tending his flock, but he was vergerly a nave and they all flocked off. - petaj, 2008-03-24: 06:41:00

I admire and enjoy the chuckles your witty sentence and word brings. I always learn a little something from your etymology when you include the word's country of origin. As always, very nice creation! - silveryaspen, 2008-03-24: 10:00:00

Amusing sentence; nice word, too - OZZIEBOB, 2008-03-24: 19:52:00

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Antiestablishmentcontraranism

artr

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: antīistablishməntkəntrerēənizəm

Sentence: Justin expresses his antiestablishmentcontraranism by showing up for the annual company meeting in a clown outfit. Far from disrupting the gathering, the CEO ad libbed his speech to talk about the clowns that needed to be weeded out of the company.

Etymology: anti (against) + establishment (a business organization, public institution) + contrarianism (a person who opposes or rejects popular opinion)

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Comments:

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2008-03-24: 00:01:00
Today's definition was suggested by remistram. Thank you remistram. ~ James

arrrteest - 2008-03-24: 07:46:00
This is a poem I actually wrote in a meeting:

Meeting Hell
By David E. Selvin

As I sit here in this meeting,
My mind's attention span is fleeting,
I contemplate actually retreating,
From this place in meeting hell.

But from the clock, it's click and clocking,
My state of mind, it keeps on mocking,
My inner scream, to me, is shocking,
As I hallucinate the ending bell.

Still, I came with no allusion,
Complicit in my blind collusion,
For my schedule’s planned intrusion,
That I’ve come to accept, but dread.

I arrive and check the seating,
Politely smile and say a greeting,
Knowing sanity will take a beating,
Within the confines of my weary head.

Still, although, I'm stuck here sitting,
My stomach lining must be pitting,
A straight jacket soon just might be fitting,
And only time will surely tell.

I hope a response is not required,
They might notice sanity expired,
And ability to reason duly mired,
My interest level a labored sell.

I awake: Is it a nightmare?
I catch myself with an insipid blank stare,
Hearing talking though the stale air,
Not all sure where it’s coming from.

Try to focus. What is the topic?
The planner’s plans were quite myopic,
My mind is on an island tropic,
My body sits here limp and numb.

I hope I don’t get called to answer,
My pulse would rise as if a dancer,
My body pained as if full with cancer,
Reacting like a hammered thumb.

A sympathetic nod of head,
Seems to follow just what is said,
But an EEG would read out "dead,"
An indication not all is well.

I'm not sure what I gain from training,
For what topic that it's pertaining,
The whole experience is very draining,
My angst is what I need to quell.
My angst is what I need to quell.

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2008-03-24: 08:40:00
Excellent poem arrrteest! It insubordinuttily captures the disenwaged spirit of a slacktendant agendabender. ~ James

Jamagra - 2008-03-24: 09:19:00
Quoth the employee, "Nevermore!"

silveryaspen - 2008-03-24: 11:07:00
Remistram and James, your definition and cartoon are a big hit! They not only inspired great verboticisms (not a bad one in the bunch again) but even poetry! Laughter, too! Great job!

silveryaspen - 2008-03-24: 11:10:00
Did you write your poem in a meeting hell, arrrteest? It is a wonderfully well done rhyme and adds much to our time here today! I'm so glad you shared it with us.

arrrteest - 2008-03-24: 13:36:00
Write it in meeting hell? Yes, I did! It was a mind numbing, pointless, poorly thought out, going through the motions, no followthrough afterwards, dead in the water, series of meetings/"trainings" that is enherent within large organizations. It was complete with "activators," "capture sheets" and "group participation." Aaaah phoey. You bet. Am I sarred for life? Well let's just say the poem saved me from $$$$ of therapy. If you want to be productive and positive in a meeting, don't sit next to me. LOL!

purpleartichokes - 2008-03-24: 16:00:00
Great poem arrrteest! I think I was at that meeting.

Jamagra - 2008-03-24: 16:41:00
Wow Arteest! Glad you have writing as an outlet from meeting hell! I really do NOT miss those days!

arrrteest - 2008-03-24: 17:22:00
"inherent"-ah an errant moment

wayoffcenter - 2009-01-14: 04:40:00
but your word is not in your sentence...

wayoffcenter - 2009-01-14: 04:46:00
Sorry, comment in wrong spot (and I used to laugh at people who made this mistake) Comment was meant for Illoiterite.

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2010-05-31: 00:30:00
Today's definition was suggested by remistram. Thank you remistram. ~ James