Vote for the best verboticism.

'Our boss said I had to attend this meeting.'

DEFINITION: v. To arrive at a meeting completely unprepared and then work diligently and obviously to distract yourself from the proceedings. n. A person who attends a meeting but does not believe that they are paid enough to actually pay attention.

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Verboticisms

Click on each verboticism to read the sentences created by the Verbotomy writers, and to see your voting options...

You have two votes. Click on the words to read the details, then vote your favorite.

Slacktendant

Created by: arrrteest

Pronunciation: slak-tend-ent

Sentence: Everyone who arrived at the meeting on time took a poll as to see what Jeff would bring with him to prove he was worthy of his slacktendant title. Two out of the four members who were there thought he would bring a copy of the latest anime or manga magazine he was sharing with Whistler from accounting. One said he would probably write emails and text his girlfriend on his Blackberry, while another said it had been a while since the last time he clipped his fingernails and toenails and plucked his nosehairs. Last Monday he brought the New York Times crossword puzzle and kept shouting out the words when he got them or muttering the clues under his breath.

Etymology: slacker (one who shirks work) + attendant (one who is present)

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COMMENTS:

Your sentence and word fit together, and fit the definition, like a hand in a glove Very well done! - silveryaspen, 2008-03-24: 01:40:00

You've no doubt met my brother in law, Mervyn? Great word! - Mustang, 2008-03-24: 06:13:00

Sorry, Mustang, I misspelled 'Mervyn' in my sentence. - stache, 2008-03-24: 10:10:00

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Illoiterite

Created by: Mustang

Pronunciation: ill-OYT-er-ite

Sentence: An inveterate illoiterite, Brandon typically comes to the staff meeting totally unprepared, disinterested and withdrawn, chosing to read his sports magazine rather than to participate in the proceedings.

Etymology: Blend of 'illiterate' (displaying a marked lack of knowledge in a particular field) and 'loiter' (to linger aimlessly or as if aimless in or about a place) with the suffix 'ite' (Adherent or follower of)

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Attendunce

Created by: galwaywegian

Pronunciation: att enn duhn sssssss

Sentence: The attendunce at the meeting was blimpressive

Etymology: attendance, dunce

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Barticipate

GlobalGallery

Created by: GlobalGallery

Pronunciation: Bar-tissa-payt

Sentence: Roger arrived half-dressed and unshaven to the early sales meeting. He wasn't happy to be there so he sat back with the sports page and chose to barticipate for the entire meeting.

Etymology: 1.bar - to exclude. 2.participate - to take part in or share with others.

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Attentiondeficitdisbursement

Created by: Stevenson0

Pronunciation: at/ten/sion/de/fi/cit/dis/burse/ment

Sentence: Whenever Joe showed up at a meeting and found out that he wasn't being paid enough per hour for his computer expertise his ADD (attentiondeficitdisbursement) condition would suddenly act up until he felt he was being properly compensated.

Etymology: Whenever Joe showed up at a meeting and found out that he wasn't being paid enough per hour for his computer expertise his ADD (attentiondeficitdisbursement) condition would suddenly act up until he felt he was being properly compensated.

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Clusterduck

artr

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: kləstərdək

Sentence: Ron is pretty good at working alone but when it comes to meetings he's a clusterduck. If he attends at all, he is about as useful as a bent paperclip.

Etymology: cluster (a group of people or similar objects positioned or occurring close together) + duck (lower the head or the body quickly to avoid a blow or so as not to be seen) Also a derivative of another common term that starts with cluster.

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COMMENTS:

I know that guy! - otherguy, 2009-01-14: 08:02:00

I think we all know that guy... - Nosila, 2009-01-15: 00:13:00

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Dildotaunt

Created by: BimpusHead

Pronunciation:

Sentence:

Etymology:

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Muteinear

petaj

Created by: petaj

Pronunciation: mutineer

Sentence: Lara's selective deafness was not causing as much of a problem in the Dyslexia Association meetings as she would have liked. As a muteinear she had only lent half an ear to proceedings and the minutes she prepared appeared to be written in anagrams. She thought this would show them all the contempt she felt for the meetings. However, as most of the attendees were dyslexic they found her anagramatic minutes actually made easy reading.

Etymology: mute (not speaking as one does in a meeting) + in ear (not listening either) + mutineer (one who rebels) + the whole word looks like the minutes have been sabotaged to make them difficult to read.

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COMMENTS:

I admire the interplay between your pronunciation and etymology as well as the words you chose to blend so cleverly and the way you defined them. Muteinear and mutineer really nailed the definition, too. Outstanding word! - silveryaspen, 2008-03-24: 01:47:00

petaj Minuteering can be as difficult as climbing a mountain! when you have a mute in ear. Thanks silvery for the thoughtful comments you make on verbotomies. - petaj, 2008-03-24: 06:33:00

Great word! - purpleartichokes, 2008-03-24: 08:29:00

Dyslexics Untie! Funny sentence, petaj. - Tigger, 2008-03-24: 21:19:00

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Procrasturbate

youmustvotenato

Created by: youmustvotenato

Pronunciation: pro-crass-stir-bate

Sentence: Rick whipped out his phone and commenced forth to procrasturbate during the meeting, much to the chagrin of corporate. Rick, of course, worked in IT.

Etymology: procrastinate and mast**bate.

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Muteinear

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: myoot in eer

Sentence: Phil was always a lazy, subversive radical in our management meetings. A Rebel without a Clause; a true American Idle;a Gatorade Renegade;an Insurgence Agent and a Maverick Manager. He never contributed any items to the agenda, never participated in discussions, absolutely never volunteered for any committees or extra tasks. He was a facilitator's nightmare. Instead of participating with his peers, he did crossword puzzles, read novels or watched his mini-tv. It had gone on so long unchecked that his peer group and a long line of his bosses just learned to ignore him. His purpose was ornamental, not functional. Just before he retired, the secret was revealed. He was a Muteinear...before each meeting, in fact before each work day, he simply took the batteries out of his hearing aids and enjoyed stress-free work days!

Etymology: Mutineer (open rebellion and refusal to obey authorities) & Mute (a device used to soften the tone of a musical instrument;deaden a sound or noise;expressed without speech; especially because words would be inappropriate or inadequate) & In Ear (inside the the sense organ for hearing and equilibrium)

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COMMENTS:

great word! - galwaywegian, 2009-01-14: 04:46:00

Laughed all the way through from the great first line to the punch line ending! - silveryaspen, 2009-01-14: 12:07:00

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Comments:

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2008-03-24: 00:01:00
Today's definition was suggested by remistram. Thank you remistram. ~ James

arrrteest - 2008-03-24: 07:46:00
This is a poem I actually wrote in a meeting:

Meeting Hell
By David E. Selvin

As I sit here in this meeting,
My mind's attention span is fleeting,
I contemplate actually retreating,
From this place in meeting hell.

But from the clock, it's click and clocking,
My state of mind, it keeps on mocking,
My inner scream, to me, is shocking,
As I hallucinate the ending bell.

Still, I came with no allusion,
Complicit in my blind collusion,
For my schedule’s planned intrusion,
That I’ve come to accept, but dread.

I arrive and check the seating,
Politely smile and say a greeting,
Knowing sanity will take a beating,
Within the confines of my weary head.

Still, although, I'm stuck here sitting,
My stomach lining must be pitting,
A straight jacket soon just might be fitting,
And only time will surely tell.

I hope a response is not required,
They might notice sanity expired,
And ability to reason duly mired,
My interest level a labored sell.

I awake: Is it a nightmare?
I catch myself with an insipid blank stare,
Hearing talking though the stale air,
Not all sure where it’s coming from.

Try to focus. What is the topic?
The planner’s plans were quite myopic,
My mind is on an island tropic,
My body sits here limp and numb.

I hope I don’t get called to answer,
My pulse would rise as if a dancer,
My body pained as if full with cancer,
Reacting like a hammered thumb.

A sympathetic nod of head,
Seems to follow just what is said,
But an EEG would read out "dead,"
An indication not all is well.

I'm not sure what I gain from training,
For what topic that it's pertaining,
The whole experience is very draining,
My angst is what I need to quell.
My angst is what I need to quell.

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2008-03-24: 08:40:00
Excellent poem arrrteest! It insubordinuttily captures the disenwaged spirit of a slacktendant agendabender. ~ James

Jamagra - 2008-03-24: 09:19:00
Quoth the employee, "Nevermore!"

silveryaspen - 2008-03-24: 11:07:00
Remistram and James, your definition and cartoon are a big hit! They not only inspired great verboticisms (not a bad one in the bunch again) but even poetry! Laughter, too! Great job!

silveryaspen - 2008-03-24: 11:10:00
Did you write your poem in a meeting hell, arrrteest? It is a wonderfully well done rhyme and adds much to our time here today! I'm so glad you shared it with us.

arrrteest - 2008-03-24: 13:36:00
Write it in meeting hell? Yes, I did! It was a mind numbing, pointless, poorly thought out, going through the motions, no followthrough afterwards, dead in the water, series of meetings/"trainings" that is enherent within large organizations. It was complete with "activators," "capture sheets" and "group participation." Aaaah phoey. You bet. Am I sarred for life? Well let's just say the poem saved me from $$$$ of therapy. If you want to be productive and positive in a meeting, don't sit next to me. LOL!

purpleartichokes - 2008-03-24: 16:00:00
Great poem arrrteest! I think I was at that meeting.

Jamagra - 2008-03-24: 16:41:00
Wow Arteest! Glad you have writing as an outlet from meeting hell! I really do NOT miss those days!

arrrteest - 2008-03-24: 17:22:00
"inherent"-ah an errant moment

wayoffcenter - 2009-01-14: 04:40:00
but your word is not in your sentence...

wayoffcenter - 2009-01-14: 04:46:00
Sorry, comment in wrong spot (and I used to laugh at people who made this mistake) Comment was meant for Illoiterite.

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2010-05-31: 00:30:00
Today's definition was suggested by remistram. Thank you remistram. ~ James