Vote for the best verboticism.
DEFINITION: v. To arrive at a meeting completely unprepared and then work diligently and obviously to distract yourself from the proceedings. n. A person who attends a meeting but does not believe that they are paid enough to actually pay attention.
Verboticisms
Click on each verboticism to read the sentences created by the Verbotomy writers, and to see your voting options...
You have two votes. Click on the words to read the details, then vote your favorite.
Contratendant
Created by: doseydotes
Pronunciation: ˈkän-trə-ˈten-dənt
Sentence: Lars spent the entire meeting paging through the Wall Street Journal and humming absently to himself, to his son's 5th grade teacher's great consternation. "Mr. Beauregard!" she exclaimed, "I can't believe you would be such a contratendant to this parent-teacher conference!"
Etymology: From the Greek, contra, meaning an illegal association with a Middle-Eastern dictatorship; from the Kusumapura, ten, meaning "of brace-wearing age"; and from the Irish, dant, meaning, "shall not," or, literally, "dare not."
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COMMENTS:
Your etymologies are always so very enlightening. Superlatively done. Keep up the good work! - stache, 2008-03-24: 14:30:00
Close to the mark! - OZZIEBOB, 2008-03-24: 19:50:00
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Illoiterite
Created by: Mustang
Pronunciation: ill-OYT-er-ite
Sentence: An inveterate illoiterite, Brandon typically comes to the staff meeting totally unprepared, disinterested and withdrawn, chosing to read his sports magazine rather than to participate in the proceedings.
Etymology: Blend of 'illiterate' (displaying a marked lack of knowledge in a particular field) and 'loiter' (to linger aimlessly or as if aimless in or about a place) with the suffix 'ite' (Adherent or follower of)
Illoiterite
Created by: Mustang
Pronunciation: ill-OYT-er-ite
Sentence: An inveterate illoiterite, Thurgood typically came to the staff meeting totally unprepared, disinterested and withdrawn, chosing to read his girly magazine rather than to participate in the proceedings.
Etymology: Blend of 'illiterate' (displaying a marked lack of knowledge in a particular field) and 'loiter' (to linger aimlessly or as if aimless in or about a place) with the suffix 'ite' (Adherent or follower of)
Brattendee
Created by: purpleartichokes
Pronunciation: brat-tend-dee
Sentence: At every meeting, except for those where pastries were served, Joel was either the designated particican't or brattendee, believing he was worth more to the company due to his liberal arts education and extensive sales experience at Toys 'R' Us.
Etymology: brat, attendee
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COMMENTS:
Joel sounds like one who could be destined for fame and fortune.....among Hollywood's 'intellectual elite'. - Mustang, 2008-03-24: 05:45:00
Brings new meaning to the expression toy boy. Great choice of words and great job of blending them. Brat fits plus brings out all those feelings that go with it. Using 'brat' in your verboticism was brilliant! Exceptional verboticism! - silveryaspen, 2008-03-24: 10:38:00
Good one and an added bonus of particican't. Love it. - arrrteest, 2008-03-24: 11:34:00
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Procrasturbate
Created by: youmustvotenato
Pronunciation: pro-crass-stir-bate
Sentence: Rick whipped out his phone and commenced forth to procrasturbate during the meeting, much to the chagrin of corporate. Rick, of course, worked in IT.
Etymology: procrastinate and mast**bate.
Spectraitor
Created by: Jabberwocky
Pronunciation: spec/tray/tur
Sentence: John attended the morning meeting merely as a spectraitor. He successfully sabotaged establishing the agenda for the day.
Etymology: spectator (onlooker) + traitor (subversive element)
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COMMENTS:
Wow! I admire the way you select words and put them together in your sentence and verboticisms so that we don't just read and understand ... they also evoke feelings and emotions ... of all kinds. Not only is your sentence and word right on the definition, but evokes that antipathy we all feel when it happens. Outstanding verboticism! - silveryaspen, 2008-03-24: 10:32:00
Cleverly constructed word. - OZZIEBOB, 2008-03-24: 19:49:00
...now if he could only get the competition to pay him for sabotaging the meetings. Hmmm. Nice word! - Tigger, 2008-03-24: 21:16:00
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Slactor
Created by: readerwriter
Pronunciation: Sl-ak-tore
Sentence: The management team had to assume from his body language that notorious office slactor, Simon Sez, didn't realize he was attending his own exit interview.
Etymology: A blend of SLACKER, meaning a person who shirks work + ACTOR, a theatrical performer; feminine = slactress
Offassoffender
Created by: silveryaspen
Pronunciation: off - ass - uhf - end - er
Sentence: Once in awhile, an office has an offassoffender, who slacks off, and sluffs off, his work onto others. He is unready and unwilling to go to the meeting table. Off-timed, he strolls in with nothing, and mouths off, spewing off the cuff, off the peg, off the wall remarks, many of them off key, off color, and offensive. The boss finally had enoff. He offed him ... he took him off the books, and right off the job! That was the end of awful Mr. Offalhead.
Etymology: Office, Ass, Offender,
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COMMENTS:
That horse's patoot was no doubt the butt of many jokes over the water cooler. The boss was right to expel that stinker from the offeces. - Mustang, 2008-03-24: 05:31:00
Those puns are just offal. - stache, 2008-03-24: 10:05:00
Offally amusing! - spotthecat1, 2008-03-24: 16:28:00
Very clever and amusing. - OZZIEBOB, 2008-03-24: 19:53:00
Don't think I've ever heard anyone being called an "Offalhead" before. It's very 'PC'and I may just use it when talking about some Offassoffenders I know. ;) - Tigger, 2008-03-24: 20:18:00
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Innattention
Created by: Nosila
Pronunciation: In at ten shun
Sentence: Oliver worked for Hilton Hotel Chain as it's IT Chief. He never felt he had to be part of the boring day-to-day matters. Holding them hostage with his superior electronic intelligence, he attended the meetings he was summoned to and ignored everyone and everything. He was guilty of innattention. In fact he had a history of it...when he worked for the sanitation department, he was guilty of binattention. When he worked for the Symphony, it was violinattention; for Lufthansa, it was berlinattention. And when he worked for Tanqueray, he was guilty of ginattention; for the bank, pinattention and for the Las Vegas Tourist Board, it was sinattention. Do you think this is maybe why he'd been fired so often?
Etymology: Inn (hotel) & Inattention (lack of attention)
Participaint
Created by: karenanne
Pronunciation: par TISS ih paynt
Sentence: She isn't much of a participant in office meetings - more of a participaint, as in, she ain't contributing a whole lot. She mostly plays the Pac-Man game that Google put up free as a Google Doodle for Pac-Man's 30th anniversary. (Right, like you've never heard of it.) I guess she thinks we don't hear the munching sounds coming from her IPhone....
Etymology: participant + ain't
Comments:
Today's definition was suggested by remistram. Thank you remistram. ~ James
arrrteest - 2008-03-24: 07:46:00
This is a poem I actually wrote in a meeting:
Meeting Hell
By David E. Selvin
As I sit here in this meeting,
My mind's attention span is fleeting,
I contemplate actually retreating,
From this place in meeting hell.
But from the clock, it's click and clocking,
My state of mind, it keeps on mocking,
My inner scream, to me, is shocking,
As I hallucinate the ending bell.
Still, I came with no allusion,
Complicit in my blind collusion,
For my schedule’s planned intrusion,
That I’ve come to accept, but dread.
I arrive and check the seating,
Politely smile and say a greeting,
Knowing sanity will take a beating,
Within the confines of my weary head.
Still, although, I'm stuck here sitting,
My stomach lining must be pitting,
A straight jacket soon just might be fitting,
And only time will surely tell.
I hope a response is not required,
They might notice sanity expired,
And ability to reason duly mired,
My interest level a labored sell.
I awake: Is it a nightmare?
I catch myself with an insipid blank stare,
Hearing talking though the stale air,
Not all sure where it’s coming from.
Try to focus. What is the topic?
The planner’s plans were quite myopic,
My mind is on an island tropic,
My body sits here limp and numb.
I hope I don’t get called to answer,
My pulse would rise as if a dancer,
My body pained as if full with cancer,
Reacting like a hammered thumb.
A sympathetic nod of head,
Seems to follow just what is said,
But an EEG would read out "dead,"
An indication not all is well.
I'm not sure what I gain from training,
For what topic that it's pertaining,
The whole experience is very draining,
My angst is what I need to quell.
My angst is what I need to quell.
Excellent poem arrrteest! It insubordinuttily captures the disenwaged spirit of a slacktendant agendabender. ~ James
Jamagra - 2008-03-24: 09:19:00
Quoth the employee, "Nevermore!"
silveryaspen - 2008-03-24: 11:07:00
Remistram and James, your definition and cartoon are a big hit! They not only inspired great verboticisms (not a bad one in the bunch again) but even poetry! Laughter, too! Great job!
silveryaspen - 2008-03-24: 11:10:00
Did you write your poem in a meeting hell, arrrteest? It is a wonderfully well done rhyme and adds much to our time here today! I'm so glad you shared it with us.
arrrteest - 2008-03-24: 13:36:00
Write it in meeting hell? Yes, I did! It was a mind numbing, pointless, poorly thought out, going through the motions, no followthrough afterwards, dead in the water, series of meetings/"trainings" that is enherent within large organizations. It was complete with "activators," "capture sheets" and "group participation." Aaaah phoey. You bet. Am I sarred for life? Well let's just say the poem saved me from $$$$ of therapy. If you want to be productive and positive in a meeting, don't sit next to me. LOL!
purpleartichokes - 2008-03-24: 16:00:00
Great poem arrrteest! I think I was at that meeting.
Jamagra - 2008-03-24: 16:41:00
Wow Arteest! Glad you have writing as an outlet from meeting hell! I really do NOT miss those days!
arrrteest - 2008-03-24: 17:22:00
"inherent"-ah an errant moment
wayoffcenter - 2009-01-14: 04:40:00
but your word is not in your sentence...
wayoffcenter - 2009-01-14: 04:46:00
Sorry, comment in wrong spot (and I used to laugh at people who made this mistake) Comment was meant for Illoiterite.
Today's definition was suggested by remistram. Thank you remistram. ~ James