Vote for the best verboticism.

'Our boss said I had to attend this meeting.'

DEFINITION: v. To arrive at a meeting completely unprepared and then work diligently and obviously to distract yourself from the proceedings. n. A person who attends a meeting but does not believe that they are paid enough to actually pay attention.

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Verboticisms

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Muteinear

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: myoot in eer

Sentence: Phil was always a lazy, subversive radical in our management meetings. A Rebel without a Clause; a true American Idle;a Gatorade Renegade;an Insurgence Agent and a Maverick Manager. He never contributed any items to the agenda, never participated in discussions, absolutely never volunteered for any committees or extra tasks. He was a facilitator's nightmare. Instead of participating with his peers, he did crossword puzzles, read novels or watched his mini-tv. It had gone on so long unchecked that his peer group and a long line of his bosses just learned to ignore him. His purpose was ornamental, not functional. Just before he retired, the secret was revealed. He was a Muteinear...before each meeting, in fact before each work day, he simply took the batteries out of his hearing aids and enjoyed stress-free work days!

Etymology: Mutineer (open rebellion and refusal to obey authorities) & Mute (a device used to soften the tone of a musical instrument;deaden a sound or noise;expressed without speech; especially because words would be inappropriate or inadequate) & In Ear (inside the the sense organ for hearing and equilibrium)

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COMMENTS:

great word! - galwaywegian, 2009-01-14: 04:46:00

Laughed all the way through from the great first line to the punch line ending! - silveryaspen, 2009-01-14: 12:07:00

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Attennot

Created by: spotthecat1

Pronunciation: uh-ten-not

Sentence: Mrs. Persnickety sent her most recent intern in the archival section of the expired copyright department to the monthly Budget/Appropriations Committee meeting. Dan Slouth, a soon to be ex-student at Bozo Community College, sauntered off to attennot the meeting with his ipod and suduko in hand.

Etymology: M.E.: attencioun + M.E.: nought

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COMMENTS:

Like it a lot! Great sentence. Right on the definition. Excellent Verboticism! - silveryaspen, 2008-03-24: 21:22:00

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Muteinear

petaj

Created by: petaj

Pronunciation: mutineer

Sentence: Lara's selective deafness was not causing as much of a problem in the Dyslexia Association meetings as she would have liked. As a muteinear she had only lent half an ear to proceedings and the minutes she prepared appeared to be written in anagrams. She thought this would show them all the contempt she felt for the meetings. However, as most of the attendees were dyslexic they found her anagramatic minutes actually made easy reading.

Etymology: mute (not speaking as one does in a meeting) + in ear (not listening either) + mutineer (one who rebels) + the whole word looks like the minutes have been sabotaged to make them difficult to read.

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COMMENTS:

I admire the interplay between your pronunciation and etymology as well as the words you chose to blend so cleverly and the way you defined them. Muteinear and mutineer really nailed the definition, too. Outstanding word! - silveryaspen, 2008-03-24: 01:47:00

petaj Minuteering can be as difficult as climbing a mountain! when you have a mute in ear. Thanks silvery for the thoughtful comments you make on verbotomies. - petaj, 2008-03-24: 06:33:00

Great word! - purpleartichokes, 2008-03-24: 08:29:00

Dyslexics Untie! Funny sentence, petaj. - Tigger, 2008-03-24: 21:19:00

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Doesntapplytameister

Created by: diyan627

Pronunciation: doesn't apply ta meister

Sentence: Rachna arrived at the meeting 10 minutes late sipping on her Starbucks coffee from a green straw, and set her cell phone on the conference table. Meanwhile the rest of us were contemplating how to merge the access databases so as to not lose the 10 months of research data and who was going to work on making the copies of the files before the merge. Her cell phone rang, and she excused herself. By the time she came back, we had assigned her a large portion of the inter-rater reliability data entry. After the meeting, she complained, "I have a Masters degree in public health; I shouldn't have to do data entry!" The Doesntapplytameister has been getting stuck with all the dirty work for so long now, and she can't quite figure out why.

Etymology: does not apply + to + me + meister

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Spectraitor

Created by: Jabberwocky

Pronunciation: spec/tray/tur

Sentence: John attended the morning meeting merely as a spectraitor. He successfully sabotaged establishing the agenda for the day.

Etymology: spectator (onlooker) + traitor (subversive element)

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COMMENTS:

Excellent! - silveryaspen, 2009-01-14: 12:03:00

great word - TJayzz, 2009-01-14: 15:29:00

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Slactor

Created by: readerwriter

Pronunciation: Sl-ak-tore

Sentence: The management team had to assume from his body language that notorious office slactor, Simon Sez, didn't realize he was attending his own exit interview.

Etymology: A blend of SLACKER, meaning a person who shirks work + ACTOR, a theatrical performer; feminine = slactress

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Attentiondeficitdisbursement

Created by: Stevenson0

Pronunciation: at/ten/sion/de/fi/cit/dis/burse/ment

Sentence: Whenever Joe showed up at a meeting and found out that he wasn't being paid enough per hour for his computer expertise his ADD (attentiondeficitdisbursement) condition would suddenly act up until he felt he was being properly compensated.

Etymology: Whenever Joe showed up at a meeting and found out that he wasn't being paid enough per hour for his computer expertise his ADD (attentiondeficitdisbursement) condition would suddenly act up until he felt he was being properly compensated.

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Oblividude

kashman

Created by: kashman

Pronunciation: Oblee-vee-Dude

Sentence: Michael's was the oblividude of the whole office, as apart from arriving late for the meetings he never took any action items during the meetings.

Etymology: Oblivious (lacking meaningful attention) + Dude

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Participaint

karenanne

Created by: karenanne

Pronunciation: par TISS ih paynt

Sentence: She isn't much of a participant in office meetings - more of a participaint, as in, she ain't contributing a whole lot. She mostly plays the Pac-Man game that Google put up free as a Google Doodle for Pac-Man's 30th anniversary. (Right, like you've never heard of it.) I guess she thinks we don't hear the munching sounds coming from her IPhone....

Etymology: participant + ain't

| Comments and Points

Offassoffender

Created by: silveryaspen

Pronunciation: off - ass - uhf - end - er

Sentence: Once in awhile, an office has an offassoffender, who slacks off, and sluffs off, his work onto others. He is unready and unwilling to go to the meeting table. Off-timed, he strolls in with nothing, and mouths off, spewing off the cuff, off the peg, off the wall remarks, many of them off key, off color, and offensive. The boss finally had enoff. He offed him ... he took him off the books, and right off the job! That was the end of awful Mr. Offalhead.

Etymology: Office, Ass, Offender,

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COMMENTS:

That horse's patoot was no doubt the butt of many jokes over the water cooler. The boss was right to expel that stinker from the offeces. - Mustang, 2008-03-24: 05:31:00

Those puns are just offal. - stache, 2008-03-24: 10:05:00

Offally amusing! - spotthecat1, 2008-03-24: 16:28:00

Very clever and amusing. - OZZIEBOB, 2008-03-24: 19:53:00

Don't think I've ever heard anyone being called an "Offalhead" before. It's very 'PC'and I may just use it when talking about some Offassoffenders I know. ;) - Tigger, 2008-03-24: 20:18:00

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Comments:

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2008-03-24: 00:01:00
Today's definition was suggested by remistram. Thank you remistram. ~ James

arrrteest - 2008-03-24: 07:46:00
This is a poem I actually wrote in a meeting:

Meeting Hell
By David E. Selvin

As I sit here in this meeting,
My mind's attention span is fleeting,
I contemplate actually retreating,
From this place in meeting hell.

But from the clock, it's click and clocking,
My state of mind, it keeps on mocking,
My inner scream, to me, is shocking,
As I hallucinate the ending bell.

Still, I came with no allusion,
Complicit in my blind collusion,
For my schedule’s planned intrusion,
That I’ve come to accept, but dread.

I arrive and check the seating,
Politely smile and say a greeting,
Knowing sanity will take a beating,
Within the confines of my weary head.

Still, although, I'm stuck here sitting,
My stomach lining must be pitting,
A straight jacket soon just might be fitting,
And only time will surely tell.

I hope a response is not required,
They might notice sanity expired,
And ability to reason duly mired,
My interest level a labored sell.

I awake: Is it a nightmare?
I catch myself with an insipid blank stare,
Hearing talking though the stale air,
Not all sure where it’s coming from.

Try to focus. What is the topic?
The planner’s plans were quite myopic,
My mind is on an island tropic,
My body sits here limp and numb.

I hope I don’t get called to answer,
My pulse would rise as if a dancer,
My body pained as if full with cancer,
Reacting like a hammered thumb.

A sympathetic nod of head,
Seems to follow just what is said,
But an EEG would read out "dead,"
An indication not all is well.

I'm not sure what I gain from training,
For what topic that it's pertaining,
The whole experience is very draining,
My angst is what I need to quell.
My angst is what I need to quell.

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2008-03-24: 08:40:00
Excellent poem arrrteest! It insubordinuttily captures the disenwaged spirit of a slacktendant agendabender. ~ James

Jamagra - 2008-03-24: 09:19:00
Quoth the employee, "Nevermore!"

silveryaspen - 2008-03-24: 11:07:00
Remistram and James, your definition and cartoon are a big hit! They not only inspired great verboticisms (not a bad one in the bunch again) but even poetry! Laughter, too! Great job!

silveryaspen - 2008-03-24: 11:10:00
Did you write your poem in a meeting hell, arrrteest? It is a wonderfully well done rhyme and adds much to our time here today! I'm so glad you shared it with us.

arrrteest - 2008-03-24: 13:36:00
Write it in meeting hell? Yes, I did! It was a mind numbing, pointless, poorly thought out, going through the motions, no followthrough afterwards, dead in the water, series of meetings/"trainings" that is enherent within large organizations. It was complete with "activators," "capture sheets" and "group participation." Aaaah phoey. You bet. Am I sarred for life? Well let's just say the poem saved me from $$$$ of therapy. If you want to be productive and positive in a meeting, don't sit next to me. LOL!

purpleartichokes - 2008-03-24: 16:00:00
Great poem arrrteest! I think I was at that meeting.

Jamagra - 2008-03-24: 16:41:00
Wow Arteest! Glad you have writing as an outlet from meeting hell! I really do NOT miss those days!

arrrteest - 2008-03-24: 17:22:00
"inherent"-ah an errant moment

wayoffcenter - 2009-01-14: 04:40:00
but your word is not in your sentence...

wayoffcenter - 2009-01-14: 04:46:00
Sorry, comment in wrong spot (and I used to laugh at people who made this mistake) Comment was meant for Illoiterite.

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2010-05-31: 00:30:00
Today's definition was suggested by remistram. Thank you remistram. ~ James