Verboticisms

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: mawk sen it tee

Sentence: Mrs. Beach, the English teacher hated profanity and forbade her students from using any of these words in her classroom. Kids being kids in today's society of course cannot speak without cursing. To keep from being expelled and yet express his youthful dramatics, one brain surgeon in her class found a solution. He developed the mockscenity code. When he wanted to use a curse word, he had to substitute the first letter of that word with a "p" and if the first letter was a vowel, he just put the p in front of it. Pam, it worked like a pitch. It knocked the phit out of bad-sounding words and before long the whole ploody class was using it, pell yes. Mrs. Beach however had been a decryptor with the CIA before she retired to teaching and announced one morning, loudly, "The puck stops here!"

Etymology: Mock (a copy or imitation of something; imitate with mockery and derision) & Obscenity (an offensive or indecent word or phrase)

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Created by: Mustang

Pronunciation: al-LUDE

Sentence: Carson has a quick and clever wit and a bit of a dirty mind and will often use 'substitute' words that are intended to allewd to something raunchy.

Etymology: Play on the words 'allude' and 'lewd'... to refer to something indirectly with couched obscenity

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Created by: didsbury

Pronunciation: pro-f-eye-nn

Sentence: I'm sorry officer but you must have misheard me. If we do go to court I think you will find that 'crucking funt' is a profinity and not a profanity.

Etymology: Turning the profane into the profine was an art form perfected by the French aristocracy in the early years of the republic. They were also helped by atrocious aural hygiene standards during this period of history.

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COMMENTS:

reminds me of the guy on Capitol Steps who tells the stories with initial letters transposed. One concluded thast Haris Pilton simply needed a little soap in her hole; then there was the spale of Elliot Titzler.... - stache, 2008-05-08: 19:02:00

...er, Titzer. You know, the guy wh went to all the hicey prookers? nd I mean hicey. We're not talking bwenty tucks. No, not birty thucks. No, not even borty...never mind. - stache, 2008-05-08: 19:05:00

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Created by: arrrteest

Pronunciation: dis-kuss-fem-izm

Sentence: Tony was sitting in a chair in the principal's office again. "Tony, can you explain to me what you meant by 'dime beach?'" "Yeah, I went to a beach that charged a dime to go to it! I was just remembering it and I said it outloud. To nobody really, but Mrs. Fluster just happened to be there." The principal looked at him and shook his head. "Now Tony, yesterday you were in here for calling a classmate a 'shucking fithead' and tried to tell me that a fithead is what they call a healthy person who processes oysters. You're not fooling anyone, buddy. You've got to stop this discussphemism or you'll be finding yourself explaining this to your parents while you are on suspension!

Etymology: dis, disrespect + cuss, curse + phemism, from euphemism

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Created by: Rutilus

Pronunciation: sub-yooz

Sentence: "Piece off" she yelled to the young man crossing the road. Jemima's impatience and road rage was leading her to subuse people in the most public places.

Etymology: sub (from substitute) - to replace; abuse (v) - to insult, cause harm to others

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Created by: Tigger

Pronunciation: (like 'placebo') /pluh-SEE-bohth/

Sentence: Sandra, a mother of three children and a former radio DJ, had trained herself never to swear, but she would often use placeboaths in place of profanity. So, when she yelled at Bobby, "Cheese and Crackers!! Get your gosh darn feet off the coffee table and stop acting like a fudging sugarhead!" nobody thought it was unusual. After all, Bobby really had been acting like a sugarhead.

Etymology: Placebo - a medication prescribed more for the mental relief of the patient than for its actual effect (Latin, placebo "I shall please") + Oath - any profane expression; curse; swearword (from Middle English, ooth "swear" [to a god or diety])

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COMMENTS:

an elegant creation, I must say - stache, 2008-05-08: 08:22:00

very nice - Jabberwocky, 2008-05-08: 14:21:00

Terrific! - OZZIEBOB, 2008-05-08: 19:37:00

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Created by: Stevenson0

Pronunciation: code/vurs

Sentence: Around the office, us lackies have to codeverse so we don't offend the boss, or her prim and proper manager with our foul language. When angry at a co-worker, we often shout at them "Go f'coffee!", or "Eat hit, you bit head!", but so far our codeversations haven't raised the ire of the language police.

Etymology: code + converse (To engage in spoken exchange)

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Created by: rebelvin

Pronunciation: vulg-air+avoid

Sentence: I was so angry, I forgot to vulgaravoid, and she seemed shocked at the words that came out of my mouth.

Etymology: vulgar+avoid

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Created by: artr

Pronunciation: fōfanətē

Sentence: Marge is the queen of fauxfanity. Her coworkers have no doubt how she feels even though she tries to remain semi-polite by using substitutes for profane language. Phrases like "No friggin' way", "What the fudge","Kiss my bass" or "Go hug yourself" have raised more than a few eyebrows.

Etymology: faux (artificial or imitation) + profanity (blasphemous or obscene language)

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COMMENTS:

similar combinations but different results - great word - Jabberwocky, 2009-06-22: 14:18:00

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Created by: abrakadeborah

Pronunciation: cus-ple-tive

Sentence: Just because you use cusspletive words around me...don't think I'm too old to not know what you're really calling me!

Etymology: Cuss - Alteration of curse. Pletive - taken in part from 'expletive'- An interjectory word or expression, frequently profane.

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