Verboticisms

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: mawk sen it tee

Sentence: Mrs. Beach, the English teacher hated profanity and forbade her students from using any of these words in her classroom. Kids being kids in today's society of course cannot speak without cursing. To keep from being expelled and yet express his youthful dramatics, one brain surgeon in her class found a solution. He developed the mockscenity code. When he wanted to use a curse word, he had to substitute the first letter of that word with a "p" and if the first letter was a vowel, he just put the p in front of it. Pam, it worked like a pitch. It knocked the phit out of bad-sounding words and before long the whole ploody class was using it, pell yes. Mrs. Beach however had been a decryptor with the CIA before she retired to teaching and announced one morning, loudly, "The puck stops here!"

Etymology: Mock (a copy or imitation of something; imitate with mockery and derision) & Obscenity (an offensive or indecent word or phrase)

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Created by: Rutilus

Pronunciation: sub-yooz

Sentence: "Piece off" she yelled to the young man crossing the road. Jemima's impatience and road rage was leading her to subuse people in the most public places.

Etymology: sub (from substitute) - to replace; abuse (v) - to insult, cause harm to others

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Created by: stache

Pronunciation: sŭb'tər-fēm'

Sentence: "GOT DANDRUFF, SOMEOFITITCHES!" Grandpa shouted his well-known subterpheme, as he bonked his thumb with the ball-peen hammer for the third time.

Etymology: 'sub,' short for underwater marine vessel, also used to describe an oversized sandwich served on long bread; 'terph,' alt. of turf, locale where one finds one's homies; 'eme,' collapsed form of e-me, avatar used as an on-line representation of oneself.

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Created by: splendiction

Pronunciation: pro fam i li ty

Sentence: The Goode’s espoused family values and so expressed anger with profamility like “fudge” and “mitt” instead of good old four-letter words such ass f*** and ***t.

Etymology: From profanity and family.

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COMMENTS:

Whoops-didn't mean to add the extra s to as! - splendiction, 2009-06-22: 20:30:00

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Created by: galwaywegian

Pronunciation: poo fem isum

Sentence: poophemism is not to be confused with poofeminism, which is confused enough itself

Etymology: euphemism. poo

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Created by: didsbury

Pronunciation: pro-f-eye-nn

Sentence: I'm sorry officer but you must have misheard me. If we do go to court I think you will find that 'crucking funt' is a profinity and not a profanity.

Etymology: Turning the profane into the profine was an art form perfected by the French aristocracy in the early years of the republic. They were also helped by atrocious aural hygiene standards during this period of history.

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COMMENTS:

reminds me of the guy on Capitol Steps who tells the stories with initial letters transposed. One concluded thast Haris Pilton simply needed a little soap in her hole; then there was the spale of Elliot Titzler.... - stache, 2008-05-08: 19:02:00

...er, Titzer. You know, the guy wh went to all the hicey prookers? nd I mean hicey. We're not talking bwenty tucks. No, not birty thucks. No, not even borty...never mind. - stache, 2008-05-08: 19:05:00

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Created by: Jabberwocky

Pronunciation: marss/code

Sentence: Marsecode, derived from marseholecode is used by people who feel more comfortable using only morsels of bad language.

Etymology: Morse code + arse

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COMMENTS:

you brits kill me. - stache, 2008-05-08: 08:20:00

I like it. - OZZIEBOB, 2008-05-08: 19:36:00

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Created by: Ismelstar

Pronunciation: [yoo-efuh-miz-uhm]

Sentence: Pristine, soft-spoken and mild, the limits of Molly Mormon's patience had finally expired after Danny overturned a perfume bottle under her desk. "Oh my Heck!" she blurted unable to stop the youeffemisms tumbling out of her mouth. "You little Ess. Just get the Eff out of my class!"

Etymology: A play with the imperative forms of bowdlerized swear words, (which generally are used by naming only the first letter of the offending curse) which sounds like 'euphemism', the substitution of a mild, indirect, or vague expression for one thought to be offensive or harsh.

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Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: fo kuss

Sentence: Dr.Seemore Glasses was an optometrist and normally a man of vision. Born a Presbyopic, he'd rather ride the cataracts than attend Church or Temple. He was short-sighted in one aspect: he was afraid to make a spectacle of himself in front of his clients. Although it sounded cornea, he hated to swear in front of them. He would tell them he needed to fauxcuss, when they did or said something stupid. One fellow kept making an astigmatism of himself, so Dr. Seemore stopped seeing him, before their macular degenerated anymore. Through his contacts, the doctor also teaches at the university and lens his experience to the newbies. Unfortunately, the boring nature of eye topics often made his pupils dilate. One day he fauxcussed on his lovely assistant, Iris,who he claimed was untidy, blind to messes and kept their office like a sty. She in turn accused Dr. Seemore of ogling her. Although it later turned out that she was bipolarized and also binocular, she pressed charges. As the police led away the good Dr.Seemore, he was heard to yell, "I've been framed!"

Etymology: Faux (not genuine or real; being an imitation of the genuine article) & Cuss (profane or obscene expression usually of surprise or anger;utter obscenities or profanities)

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COMMENTS:

Good word! - Mustang, 2008-05-08: 07:45:00

best word this month!! - galwaywegian, 2008-05-08: 12:13:00

The story alone is worth a vote! - pieceof314, 2008-05-08: 14:05:00

wow - so many good words today - Jabberwocky, 2008-05-08: 14:22:00

Spot on - Love it! - Tigger, 2008-05-08: 18:59:00

Excellent. - OZZIEBOB, 2008-05-08: 19:35:00

My fave - arrrteest, 2008-05-08: 22:39:00

I'd like to thank the members of the Academy...Cheers All! - Nosila, 2008-05-08: 23:09:00

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Created by: libertybelle

Pronunciation: smut-stih-toot

Sentence: Because I work in a kindergarten I maintein a constant cuss diet and will resort to using smutstitute words when I am really gee-golly ticked off at some wing-nut. Though I'd reaally like to tell them to go fudge themselves!!

Etymology: smut + substitute

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COMMENTS:

nice - Jabberwocky, 2008-05-08: 14:24:00

Perfect! - Tigger, 2008-05-08: 18:57:00

Excellent! - Mustang, 2008-05-08: 19:20:00

Great word. - OZZIEBOB, 2008-05-08: 19:34:00

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