Verboticisms

Created by: arrrteest

Pronunciation: dis-kuss-fem-izm

Sentence: Tony was sitting in a chair in the principal's office again. "Tony, can you explain to me what you meant by 'dime beach?'" "Yeah, I went to a beach that charged a dime to go to it! I was just remembering it and I said it outloud. To nobody really, but Mrs. Fluster just happened to be there." The principal looked at him and shook his head. "Now Tony, yesterday you were in here for calling a classmate a 'shucking fithead' and tried to tell me that a fithead is what they call a healthy person who processes oysters. You're not fooling anyone, buddy. You've got to stop this discussphemism or you'll be finding yourself explaining this to your parents while you are on suspension!

Etymology: dis, disrespect + cuss, curse + phemism, from euphemism

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Created by: libertybelle

Pronunciation: smut-stih-toot

Sentence: Because I work in a kindergarten I maintein a constant cuss diet and will resort to using smutstitute words when I am really gee-golly ticked off at some wing-nut. Though I'd reaally like to tell them to go fudge themselves!!

Etymology: smut + substitute

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COMMENTS:

nice - Jabberwocky, 2008-05-08: 14:24:00

Perfect! - Tigger, 2008-05-08: 18:57:00

Excellent! - Mustang, 2008-05-08: 19:20:00

Great word. - OZZIEBOB, 2008-05-08: 19:34:00

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Created by: phoenix89

Pronunciation: Pro - covert - an -it-e

Sentence: Sometimes children curse when they shouldnt or when they are angry. To avoid punishment for using profanity they do it covertly and call it " procovertanity ".

Etymology: Profanity (profane conduct or language) Covert ( to conceal , disguise , or do in secrecy)

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Created by: didsbury

Pronunciation: pro-f-eye-nn

Sentence: I'm sorry officer but you must have misheard me. If we do go to court I think you will find that 'crucking funt' is a profinity and not a profanity.

Etymology: Turning the profane into the profine was an art form perfected by the French aristocracy in the early years of the republic. They were also helped by atrocious aural hygiene standards during this period of history.

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COMMENTS:

reminds me of the guy on Capitol Steps who tells the stories with initial letters transposed. One concluded thast Haris Pilton simply needed a little soap in her hole; then there was the spale of Elliot Titzler.... - stache, 2008-05-08: 19:02:00

...er, Titzer. You know, the guy wh went to all the hicey prookers? nd I mean hicey. We're not talking bwenty tucks. No, not birty thucks. No, not even borty...never mind. - stache, 2008-05-08: 19:05:00

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Created by: pieceof314

Pronunciation: sub-ter-fyood

Sentence: Marvin mumbled under his breath, "You rockem sockem, bean pole ridin, frickin, dung eating, rear end of a moose's petutie." "What?" responded his partner, "You can certainly come up with better subterfeud than that, can't you?" "Uh, what a BEACH!"

Etymology: subterfuge, Late Latin subterfugium, from Latin subterfugere to escape, evade, from subter- secretly (from subter underneath; + fugere to flee + feud, a mutual enmity or quarrel that is often prolonged or inveterate

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Created by: petaj

Pronunciation: you-feck-miz-m

Sentence: Gordon Ramsay's kitchen nightmares had to be dubbed with eupheckmisms before it could be screened on the family viewing channel.

Etymology: euphemism (word or phrase used to stand in for a taboo word, or topic that is unpleasant to talk about) + feck (irish eupheckmism for the f word)

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COMMENTS:

Good one, petaj...Gordon Ramsay was a feckin' eejit long before it was fashionable to be so... - Nosila, 2008-05-08: 23:19:00

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Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: fo kuss

Sentence: Dr.Seemore Glasses was an optometrist and normally a man of vision. Born a Presbyopic, he'd rather ride the cataracts than attend Church or Temple. He was short-sighted in one aspect: he was afraid to make a spectacle of himself in front of his clients. Although it sounded cornea, he hated to swear in front of them. He would tell them he needed to fauxcuss, when they did or said something stupid. One fellow kept making an astigmatism of himself, so Dr. Seemore stopped seeing him, before their macular degenerated anymore. Through his contacts, the doctor also teaches at the university and lens his experience to the newbies. Unfortunately, the boring nature of eye topics often made his pupils dilate. One day he fauxcussed on his lovely assistant, Iris,who he claimed was untidy, blind to messes and kept their office like a sty. She in turn accused Dr. Seemore of ogling her. Although it later turned out that she was bipolarized and also binocular, she pressed charges. As the police led away the good Dr.Seemore, he was heard to yell, "I've been framed!"

Etymology: Faux (not genuine or real; being an imitation of the genuine article) & Cuss (profane or obscene expression usually of surprise or anger;utter obscenities or profanities)

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COMMENTS:

Good word! - Mustang, 2008-05-08: 07:45:00

best word this month!! - galwaywegian, 2008-05-08: 12:13:00

The story alone is worth a vote! - pieceof314, 2008-05-08: 14:05:00

wow - so many good words today - Jabberwocky, 2008-05-08: 14:22:00

Spot on - Love it! - Tigger, 2008-05-08: 18:59:00

Excellent. - OZZIEBOB, 2008-05-08: 19:35:00

My fave - arrrteest, 2008-05-08: 22:39:00

I'd like to thank the members of the Academy...Cheers All! - Nosila, 2008-05-08: 23:09:00

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Created by: artr

Pronunciation: fōfanətē

Sentence: Marge is the queen of fauxfanity. Her coworkers have no doubt how she feels even though she tries to remain semi-polite by using substitutes for profane language. Phrases like "No friggin' way", "What the fudge","Kiss my bass" or "Go hug yourself" have raised more than a few eyebrows.

Etymology: faux (artificial or imitation) + profanity (blasphemous or obscene language)

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COMMENTS:

similar combinations but different results - great word - Jabberwocky, 2009-06-22: 14:18:00

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Created by: Ismelstar

Pronunciation: [yoo-efuh-miz-uhm]

Sentence: Pristine, soft-spoken and mild, the limits of Molly Mormon's patience had finally expired after Danny overturned a perfume bottle under her desk. "Oh my Heck!" she blurted unable to stop the youeffemisms tumbling out of her mouth. "You little Ess. Just get the Eff out of my class!"

Etymology: A play with the imperative forms of bowdlerized swear words, (which generally are used by naming only the first letter of the offending curse) which sounds like 'euphemism', the substitution of a mild, indirect, or vague expression for one thought to be offensive or harsh.

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Created by: stache

Pronunciation: sŭb'tər-fēm'

Sentence: "GOT DANDRUFF, SOMEOFITITCHES!" Grandpa shouted his well-known subterpheme, as he bonked his thumb with the ball-peen hammer for the third time.

Etymology: 'sub,' short for underwater marine vessel, also used to describe an oversized sandwich served on long bread; 'terph,' alt. of turf, locale where one finds one's homies; 'eme,' collapsed form of e-me, avatar used as an on-line representation of oneself.

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