DEFINITION: v. To pretend that you adore someone's pet even though it is annoyingly stupid, bizarrely threatening, or just plain stinky. n. A alarming pet or companion, which nevertheless requires fawning.

Petrifellatio

Created by: Banky

Pronunciation: pet-rih-fell-a-shee-oh

Sentence: James extracted the serpentine beast from the opening and it squirmed from his hands and onto the floor, landing on the carpet with a muffled thump. It was thick and had rolls like a baby's arm, ending in a blunt head crowned with a single eye, narrowed to a slit. It writhed gently on the floor, trying to right itself and investigate the new visitor. Darlene was petrified when it stared at her, managing only a awed gasp, frozen its basilisk-like transfixture. "As my secretary, one of your tasks will be to take care of this guy. His name is Milton. He loves to be stroked gently from the head back, but has the most peculiar tendency to go rigid and play dead when excited." He crouched and demonstrated "If you continue to harass him, he will regurgitate in an attempt to get you to leave him alone." Still motionless at the sight of the cyclopic scaly herpetic terror, Darlene's mind raced. There was no way she could do this, but she needed this job. Maybe she could just give her boss lip-service until she could find someone around the office who would give her a hand, or even several hands with the task. "He's gorgeous!" she gushed, giving her best Cheshire smile, as she turned so pale she pratically transluced, "What does it eat?" James glanced up from beaming at his companion. "His natural habitat is a combination of forest and swamp, and he prefers freshwater bivalves. His favorite treat is juvenile bald clams." Darlene could barely constrain her disgust. He stood again, cradling the thing in his arms, and began to feed it back through the opening into its dark enclosure. "I'd better put him away now. No need to clean up the mess if he's going to get too excited again like when I showed him to Angela last week."

Etymology: pet + petrified + fellatio

Points: 965

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