Verboticism: Smattening

'I knew you didn't want anything fattening...'

DEFINITION: n. A valentine gift which does not cause weight gain. v. To give a non-fattening gift as a symbol of love, which should not be interpreted -- under any circumstances -- as a comment on the recipient's weight.

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Joulery

Created by: readerwriter

Pronunciation: jool-er-ee

Sentence: As Carmella stared at the softly gleaming string of pearls in front of her, she knew she had invented the perfect Valentine's gift. She would apply for the patent today! The hard, round vitamin-packed, sugar-free morsels she had meticulously drilled holes in would be called "joulery." Her company would be called Aunty's Joules because, of course, she was against anyone gaining weight from eating her creation. She knew she had a winner in these tough economic times. Dinner and a gift, all in one!

Etymology: A play on JOULE, meaning the energy created by caloric intake.

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COMMENTS:

When Carmella discovered her pearls weren't real, was she shocked? - silveryaspen, 2009-02-09: 10:47:00

Yes, especially as they were cast before swine! - readerwriter, 2009-02-09: 15:14:00

LOL - silveryaspen, 2009-02-09: 19:48:00

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Romancingthebones

Created by: TJayzz

Pronunciation: Ro-w-man-sing-the-bowns

Sentence: Noticing his wife had put on a few extra pounds over Christmas, Steve decided on a romancingthebones gift for Valentines Day. Instead of the usual large box of chocolates, he bought her a pair of trainers. He did also buy a huge bunch of flowers to bring out, just in case she tried to hit him with the footwear.

Etymology: Romance(Court the favour of) SEE ALSO Romancing the Stone(1984 Romantic Comedy starring Michael Douglas

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COMMENTS:

terrific - Jabberwocky, 2009-02-09: 08:43:00

Darling! - silveryaspen, 2009-02-09: 10:37:00

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Covertcarbcurber

Created by: kateinkorea

Pronunciation: CO vert CARB cur bur

Sentence: I know my boyfriend is worried about me getting fat like the other women in my family, so he was kind of sneaky about how he gave me my present. That covertcarbcurber gave me chocolates but he made sure I opened them around my mother and sisters...and they ate most of them.

Etymology: COVERT:to do something and try to go unnoticed or stay hidden CARB: short for carbohydrate CURBER: a person who curbs, or stops or limits an activity or thing

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Heartlyanycalories

Created by: Jabberwocky

Pronunciation: hart/lee/any/cal/or/ees

Sentence: Heartlyanycalories is the newest sensation to hit the shelves this Valentines day. Each box of these chocolate peanut butter hearts is generously laced with salmonella that will ensure not only that you don't gain an ounce but guarantees that you'll lose plenty.

Etymology: heart + hardly any calories

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COMMENTS:

Great - TJayzz, 2009-02-09: 07:52:00

Sizzling sentence, better than the news has done! Your verbotomy is a confection of perfection! - silveryaspen, 2009-02-09: 10:42:00

good play on words...liked it. - mweinmann, 2009-02-10: 09:36:00

That's so funny. - kateinkorea, 2009-02-12: 21:25:00

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Goodiva

artr

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: gooddahyva

Sentence: Will's ample-figured girlfriend loves her chocolate. Valentine's Day puts him in a quandary. Does he support her desire to be healthier or her vices? He may have found a way to do both as long as she doesn't notice the slight labeling change on the big box of sugar-free knockoff brand of Goodiva chocolates.

Etymology: good (of high quality) + Godiva (brand of high-end chocolate)

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Romanthin

Created by: galwaywegian

Pronunciation: row mann thin

Sentence: his romanthin gesture followed her non-appreciation of his romanthick gestures of previous years

Etymology: romantic, thin

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COMMENTS:

very funny - Jabberwocky, 2009-02-09: 13:26:00

Together ... thru thick and thin - silveryaspen, 2009-02-09: 19:52:00

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Choconots

Created by: Nuwanda

Pronunciation: chalk-o-nots

Sentence: After hearing me lament about the Christmas weight gain and the impending doom of swimsuit season on the horizon, my husband really thought he was being considerate when he found a healthy alternative to Valentine's Day candy. However, he learned that the choconots were just the first of many denied pleasures of that holiday.

Etymology: The word "chocolates" altered to incorporate "not"

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COMMENTS:

Super funny! - silveryaspen, 2009-02-09: 19:50:00

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Carborater

Created by: Mustang

Pronunciation: CAR-bo-rayt-ehr

Sentence: Much to the chagrin of his wife Lucy, Clarence was overly concerned about her health and her weight and he was a meticulous carborater and only upon careful examination of the listing of ingredients would he buy the least fattening foods, including Valentines day candy offerings.

Etymology: Blend of 'carbo' or (carbohydrate) and 'rater' (one who rates or assesses) A play on the word 'carburetor' (a device that meters 'fuel' to an engine)

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Xerofatgy

Created by: Stevenson0

Pronunciation: Xe/ro/fat/gy

Sentence: A xerofatgy Valentine gift is perfect for that Jenny Craig bound partner.

Etymology: XEROFATGY - from XEROPHAGY (a fast observed among the primitive Christians) + FAT

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COMMENTS:

Thanks for introducing me to another new word. Apt and unique! Super originality. - silveryaspen, 2009-02-09: 10:44:00

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Sweetgnawthings

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: sweet naw things

Sentence: Why was it when James whispered sweetgnawthings into Jenny's ear,she felt hungry. He called her his Sweetie Pie; his Lamb Chop, his Tutti Frutti, his Honeycakes and his Chocolate Passion. Luckily these sweetgnawthings cost her no calories, but left her feeling hungry and needing something tasty.

Etymology: Sweet Nothings (to whisper inconsequential expressions of affection into her ear) & Gnaw (to bite or chew on with teeth)

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COMMENTS:

Mind play with word play! Wow! - silveryaspen, 2009-02-11: 02:37:00

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