Verboticism: Splinterviewing
DEFINITION: v. To deny one's accomplishments, or minimize one's abilities in order to obtain a job. n. A resume, or list of qualifications, which has been disembellished and disemboweled to meet extremely low job requirements.
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Crapplication
Created by: galwaywegian
Pronunciation: krap lik ay shun
Sentence: He tried to gloss over the error on his crapplication, insisting that Doctor was his first name
Etymology: application, crap
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COMMENTS:
that would be a neat first name - Jabberwocky, 2009-02-25: 14:39:00
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Resumenial
Created by: artr
Pronunciation: rezəmēnēəl
Sentence: John had always been fascinated by those guys on the street corner flipping and spinning signs announcing the latest going-out-of-business sale. When his company announced bankruptcy he jumped at the chance to try out for such a job. To do so he had to have his secretary create a resumenial for him, leaving out such details as his MBA and doctorate in finance as well as his years as CEO. The only job experience he listed was part-time dance instructor, a job that helped him get through college some 30 years prior. Unfortunately he was beat out for the job by a former member of The Village People who had a few dance moves of his own.
Etymology: resume (a brief account of a person’s education, qualifications, and previous experience, typically sent with a job application) + menial (work) not requiring much skill and lacking prestige)
Nabobfuscation
Created by: metrohumanx
Pronunciation: nay-BOB-fuss-cay-shun (nabobfuscate)
Sentence: Bob had managed to parlay his fortune into a pittance, and now he had to depend on the good will of others. He NABOBFUSCATED his job applications, and hoped that the people he had abused in the past wouldn't hold it against him. Once the haughty master of an offshore tax haven, he was lucky to wind up working in a gas station.
Etymology: NABOB+OBFUSCATION=NABOBFUSCATION.......NABOB:a person of great wealth or prominence;Hindi navāb & Urdu nawāb, from Arabic nuwwāb, plural of nā'ib governor.....OBFUSCATE: to be evasive, unclear, or confusing,to darken,to make obscure; Late Latin obfuscatus, past participle of obfuscare, from Latin ob- in the way + fuscus dark brown.
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COMMENTS:
Excellent! - Mustang, 2009-02-25: 19:38:00
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Dummary
Created by: Nosila
Pronunciation: dum ma ree
Sentence: Jim's resume for the fast fry cook's position was actually a dummary of his career's achievements. After cooking the books at the bank for 30 years, he felt he could cook anything this place served.
Etymology: Dumb (not so smart) & Summary (a resume, brief job/education history;
Caredaction
Created by: Negatrev
Pronunciation: Cer-re-dak-shun
Sentence: John really needed this menial job, so performed a little caredaction on his resume before submitting it.
Etymology: from Career (An occupation undertaken for a significant period of a person's life and with opportunities for progress.) and redact(Edit (text) for publication.)
Splinterviewing
Created by: matte76
Pronunciation:
Sentence: Bob was splinterviewing for the fry cook job since there was nothing else available. The 60-year olds' resume had obviously been splinterviewed to increase its' appeal.
Etymology:
Voted For! | Comments and Points
Disconjobulation
Created by: Mustang
Pronunciation: dis-con-job-yu-LAY-shun
Sentence: With no possible chance to find another job in his highly specialized field, Horace found it necessary to apply for jobs he once considered beneath himself and found a little disconjobulation was necessary in order to 'qualify' for such menial positions.
Etymology: A play on the word discombobulation, or discombobulate (To throw into a state of confusion)
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COMMENTS:
I love the 'con-job' in the middle! - silveryaspen, 2009-02-25: 02:15:00
great - Jabberwocky, 2009-02-25: 14:39:00
Love it! - kateinkorea, 2009-02-27: 07:50:00
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Selfeffacting
Created by: readerwriter
Pronunciation: cellf-eh-fak-ting
Sentence: Downey Outman was so selfeffacting on his resume the Human Resources Manager, Noah Job, could hardly bear (or is it bare?) to read the words printed by hand on the soft double-ply tissues.
Etymology: A play on SELFEFFACING, humble or modest using FACT, knowledge or information based on real occurances
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COMMENTS:
very funny - Jabberwocky, 2009-02-25: 14:41:00
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Comission
Created by: petaj
Pronunciation: com-ISH-un
Sentence: After years of high-powered corporate derringdo Arthur decimated his CV to get a job with no overtime and no stress. It was a sin of comission.
Etymology: commission (employment) + omission (act of leaving something out)
Noncomplishments
Created by: Nosila
Pronunciation: non kom plish ments
Sentence: When Bank Manager Mr. Drysdale applied at the fast food restaurant for a part-time job, his resume was full of noncomplishments. His interest in the job was on account of the fact that he'd lost a lot in his bank retirement savings plan. The Assistant Manager who interviewed him after he deposited his application did not trust his resume. It was a wicket lie he knew, but he could hardly teller the truth. He had worked at a Sperm Bank...
Etymology: Non (negative, not at all) & Accomplishments (achievements, qualifications, abilities acquired by training)