Verboticisms

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: non kom plish ments

Sentence: When Bank Manager Mr. Drysdale applied at the fast food restaurant for a part-time job, his resume was full of noncomplishments. His interest in the job was on account of the fact that he'd lost a lot in his bank retirement savings plan. The Assistant Manager who interviewed him after he deposited his application did not trust his resume. It was a wicket lie he knew, but he could hardly teller the truth. He had worked at a Sperm Bank...

Etymology: Non (negative, not at all) & Accomplishments (achievements, qualifications, abilities acquired by training)

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Created by: artr

Pronunciation: rezəmēnēəl

Sentence: John had always been fascinated by those guys on the street corner flipping and spinning signs announcing the latest going-out-of-business sale. When his company announced bankruptcy he jumped at the chance to try out for such a job. To do so he had to have his secretary create a resumenial for him, leaving out such details as his MBA and doctorate in finance as well as his years as CEO. The only job experience he listed was part-time dance instructor, a job that helped him get through college some 30 years prior. Unfortunately he was beat out for the job by a former member of The Village People who had a few dance moves of his own.

Etymology: resume (a brief account of a person’s education, qualifications, and previous experience, typically sent with a job application) + menial (work) not requiring much skill and lacking prestige)

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Created by: galwaywegian

Pronunciation: krap lik ay shun

Sentence: His crapplication for the tobacco glossed over many of his achievements and qualifications, including one particularly high office which he held and where he had gleaned some experience which may have been of benefit when selling cigars,

Etymology: application crap

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Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: neg ayt she ay shun

Sentence: In Harris' negatiation attempt get a $10 per hour job at the local fast food place, he had not anticipated being interviewed by someone who knew his real past.

Etymology: Negate (to deny, omit) & Negotiation (bargaining, discussion to come to an agreement)

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Created by: petaj

Pronunciation: com-ISH-un

Sentence: After years of high-powered corporate derringdo Arthur decimated his CV to get a job with no overtime and no stress. It was a sin of comission.

Etymology: commission (employment) + omission (act of leaving something out)

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Created by: splendiction

Pronunciation: back round heck

Sentence: When the supervisor eventually got around to verifying Sato’s resume denials, she’d probably cast it aside, giving him backgroundheck. How could a software specialist ever last fslipping burgers?

Etymology: From backgroundcheck (to verify references and qualifications) and "heck", a scold/verbal punishment.

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Created by: galwaywegian

Pronunciation: krap lik ay shun

Sentence: He tried to gloss over the error on his crapplication, insisting that Doctor was his first name

Etymology: application, crap

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COMMENTS:

that would be a neat first name - Jabberwocky, 2009-02-25: 14:39:00

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Created by: Jabberwocky

Pronunciation: dee/ny/I/grate

Sentence: In these tough economic times the only way I could get a job at the local McDonalds was to denyigreat, which was difficult because I am.

Etymology: deny + I + great + denigrate (disparage)

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Created by: Negatrev

Pronunciation: Cer-re-dak-shun

Sentence: John really needed this menial job, so performed a little caredaction on his resume before submitting it.

Etymology: from Career (An occupation undertaken for a significant period of a person's life and with opportunities for progress.) and redact(Edit (text) for publication.)

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Created by: Stevenson0

Pronunciation: Mc/Job/i/mize

Sentence: To be even considered for the position at Dollarama, Joe had to McJobimize his resume leaving everything out that he did since high school.

Etymology: McJobimize - verb - from McJob (a none descript low paying job such as a burger server, or store greeter) + minimize (to represent at the lowest possible amount)

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