Verboticisms

Created by: FreakyDeak

Pronunciation: Down-pay

Sentence:

Etymology: Downplay + pay

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Created by: galwaywegian

Pronunciation: rez you mey noht

Sentence: her resumaynot neglected to mention any of her achievements since high school apart from the mose killing stuff

Etymology: resume may not

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Created by: splendiction

Pronunciation: back round heck

Sentence: When the supervisor eventually got around to verifying Sato’s resume denials, she’d probably cast it aside, giving him backgroundheck. How could a software specialist ever last fslipping burgers?

Etymology: From backgroundcheck (to verify references and qualifications) and "heck", a scold/verbal punishment.

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Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: dum ma ree

Sentence: Jim's resume for the fast fry cook's position was actually a dummary of his career's achievements. After cooking the books at the bank for 30 years, he felt he could cook anything this place served.

Etymology: Dumb (not so smart) & Summary (a resume, brief job/education history;

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Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: coor rik yu lum bee day

Sentence: His curriculum vitae read more like it had been made into a curriculumbidet...all the most recent events on his resume had been whitewashed and changed as though they never had happened or had not as much impact as one would have thought. When the recruiter asked him what skills he brought to the job of a waiter, Dubya as he was known for short, thought hard and long about it before responding. Okay, 10 seconds. "Well, I am good at taking orders from my Mom, Dad and Wife; I know how to run up a large tab; I can recommend Rice as a staple in any regime;Iraq up tips; I am good at nonsensical banter and if we get real busy, my two burly friends, who speak into their cufflinks, can lend a hand."

Etymology: Rhymes with Curriculum Vitae (a summary of your academic and work history) & Bidet (a basin for washing genitals and anal area)

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COMMENTS:

You are queen of the delightful denouement! His-tor-ically Funny! - silveryaspen, 2009-02-25: 02:11:00

Make that His-story-cally funny! - silveryaspen, 2009-02-25: 02:12:00

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Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: non kom plish ments

Sentence: When Bank Manager Mr. Drysdale applied at the fast food restaurant for a part-time job, his resume was full of noncomplishments. His interest in the job was on account of the fact that he'd lost a lot in his bank retirement savings plan. The Assistant Manager who interviewed him after he deposited his application did not trust his resume. It was a wicket lie he knew, but he could hardly teller the truth. He had worked at a Sperm Bank...

Etymology: Non (negative, not at all) & Accomplishments (achievements, qualifications, abilities acquired by training)

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Created by: kateinkorea

Pronunciation: WARE with DRAW eul

Sentence: After Bob was laid off from his job and he didn’t have the wherewithal to pay his bills, he decided he was too young to retire and needed to get a job. A long time salesman and way overqualified, he found that the wares he had to sell at this point in his life were his lack of credentials rather than his credentials. It became evident that if he worked at it he had the warewithdrawal he needed to undersell his abilities.

Etymology: WARE: an asset or product to sell WHEREWITHAL: means to make something happen NONE: WITHDRAWAL:

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COMMENTS:

terrific - Jabberwocky, 2009-02-25: 14:42:00

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Created by: galwaywegian

Pronunciation: krap lik ay shun

Sentence: His crapplication for the tobacco glossed over many of his achievements and qualifications, including one particularly high office which he held and where he had gleaned some experience which may have been of benefit when selling cigars,

Etymology: application crap

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Created by: Jabberwocky

Pronunciation: dee/ny/I/grate

Sentence: In these tough economic times the only way I could get a job at the local McDonalds was to denyigreat, which was difficult because I am.

Etymology: deny + I + great + denigrate (disparage)

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Created by: metrohumanx

Pronunciation: nay-BOB-fuss-cay-shun (nabobfuscate)

Sentence: Bob had managed to parlay his fortune into a pittance, and now he had to depend on the good will of others. He NABOBFUSCATED his job applications, and hoped that the people he had abused in the past wouldn't hold it against him. Once the haughty master of an offshore tax haven, he was lucky to wind up working in a gas station.

Etymology: NABOB+OBFUSCATION=NABOBFUSCATION.......NABOB:a person of great wealth or prominence;Hindi navāb & Urdu nawāb, from Arabic nuwwāb, plural of nā'ib governor.....OBFUSCATE: to be evasive, unclear, or confusing,to darken,to make obscure; Late Latin obfuscatus, past participle of obfuscare, from Latin ob- in the way + fuscus dark brown.

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COMMENTS:

Excellent! - Mustang, 2009-02-25: 19:38:00

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