Verboticism: Automaddening

'Please listen carefully as our menu has recently changed...'

DEFINITION: v. To call a phone "help line" and spend 45 minutes pushing buttons and screaming at dumb voice-recognition system, before being automatically disconnected. n. A push-button or voice-activated phone menu system designed to irritate those who use it.

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Telrettes

griffiegrrl

Created by: griffiegrrl

Pronunciation: Tell-retts

Sentence: John was experiencing Tellrettes when he was on an automated help-line the other day, and required a tranquilizer to calm him down.

Etymology: Turrets Syndrome (Spelling tweaked), Telephone

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Voicerail

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: voyse rayl

Sentence: The worst offenders are the ones supposedly out there helping you. Places like government agencies, city services, big corporations,banks... virtually any company with more than 2 people working in it. Roy was like many frustrated people. His anger and fury were incensed even further by having to go through a voicemail system. Or as he called it, a voicerail system. The more menu options he had to go through, the more irate he became. He'd waste an hour tip-toeing through all these numbers only to have to contact "0" to speak to a live human, because none of these options concerned his query. Just as he was about to shoot his phone with his Smith & Wesson, he was told the correct transit number to take and when it would depart...sometimes it's quicker just to stand at the stop and wait an hour!

Etymology: Voice Mail (a computerized interactive system for storing, processing and reproducing verbal messages left through a conventional telephone network) & Rail (spread negative information about;criticize severely;complain bitterly;rebel against)

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Automaddening

Created by: Mustang

Pronunciation: ah-toh-MAD-ning

Sentence: The more Lance fiddled with the automated answering service at the hospital the more automaddening it became, with him eventually tossing his cell phone on the floor and heading out to the hospital in his car knowing it would likely be faster.

Etymology: Blend of 'automated' and 'maddening'.

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COMMENTS:

Who needs bureaucracy when you have automaddening answering services to drive you insane? - dochanne, 2009-05-20: 23:29:00

Automaddening is so much quicker than doing it manually... - Nosila, 2009-05-20: 23:34:00

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Voicemenumania

Created by: abrakadeborah

Pronunciation: Vois-men-u-man-e-uh

Sentence: Ted Textired was fed up with the voicemenumania of the length of time he spent to get to one person on his telephone!

Etymology: Voice:The sound produced by the vocal organs of a vertebrate, especially a human. (or computer generated voice)A sound resembling or reminiscent of vocal utterance. Menu:A list of available options. Mania: An excessively intense enthusiasm, interest, or desire; a craze. Voicemenumania:Taken in part from voice and menu to be voicemenu as in a recorded phone prompting and added mania to show the irration of using prompts to get through on a phone call that used to be simple... What happened to,"Hello this is____ may I help you?????"

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Vlimtar

Created by: balku4

Pronunciation: vlimt

Sentence: i god this is a a vlimtar

Etymology: nonee

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Eternadial

Created by: rebelvin

Pronunciation: eterna-dail

Sentence: All I could reach was their eternadial, which kept me busy for nearly half an hour before I gave up before reaching a real person.

Etymology: eternal+dial

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Vexmail

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: veks mayl

Sentence: When Bruce tried calling the phone company to extend the minutes on his phone, he had to go through no less than 20 prompts of vexmail to reach the person he needed. By that point the call was moot because he had stomped his phone in an act of cellacide and put it into receivership.

Etymology: Vex (irritate, annoy) & Voicemail (automated phone message system)

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