Verboticism: Machintercourse

'Little ax, are you awake?'

DEFINITION: v. To talk to, encourage and advise inanimate objects, in hopes that they will work better. n. A person who talks to their tools, cars, kitchen appliances, furniture, or whatever...

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Machintercourse

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Neurhetorical

Created by: silveryaspen

Pronunciation: nur rhet or a cle

Sentence: We all give in to that pixilated urge to talk to objects. Here are some examples of neurhetoricals. "Please, please, start" the mechanic begged the groaning car that would not spring to life. The painter said to his brush "Don't be such a drip." Watching impatiently, Emeril said to the water for pasta "How long is it going to take you to come to a boil?" When it did, Emeril praised it with his famous "Bam!" Then of course, the opposite of a neurhetorical can happen, too. For example, the little boy with a face smeared by chocolate icing explained to his mother "The cake kept calling to me, mom. Honest! It kept saying 'lick me, lick me!'"

Etymology: NEUROSIS -a mild disorder, one where an individual succumbs to the urge to talk to objects. RHETORICAL - relating to the skill of using language effectively and persuasively. RHETORICAL QUESTION - question asked for effect that neither expects nor requires an answer. The last part of this verbotomy is homonymous with ORACLE - an object, that has become a shrine, people visit to ask questions and seek advice; the most famous being the Delphic Oracle of Apollo. Such people are beyond nuerhetorical, because they expect the shrine to answer!

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COMMENTS:

great combo silvery - Jabberwocky, 2009-03-25: 15:23:00

Good word...it's like when donuts call your name or something in a store window says, "Buy me, Buy Me!" - Nosila, 2009-03-25: 15:44:00

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Automobabble

artr

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: aw-tuh-moh-bab-uhl

Sentence: In lieu of scheduled service on his car Tim talks to his Civic. His automobabble can be better described as begging or cajoling. "I know it's cold, please start today. Com'on baby don't quit on me. Get me home and I'll give you a little oil tomorrow".

Etymology: automobile (a passenger vehicle designed for operation on ordinary roads and typically having four wheels and a gasoline or diesel internal-combustion engine) + babble (to talk idly, irrationally, excessively, or foolishly; chatter or prattle)

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Objectorate

Created by: BoltonAlan

Pronunciation: ob-jek-tor-ate

Sentence: Your PC won't go any faster if you objectorate to it

Etymology: Object (a tangible and visible thing). Orate (To speak in a formal, often pompous manner).

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Axplain

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: aks playn

Sentence: Mary had to axplain to her trusty hatchet what would happen when she could not hack her snoring hubby anymore.

Etymology: Ax (edge tool with heavy sharp blade) & Explain (define, make to understand)

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Anthrobromorphminion

Created by: Ismelstar

Pronunciation: [an-thruh-broh-mawrf-min-yuhn]

Sentence: Speaking gently, Catalonia anthrobromorphminized the office printer, whispering, "Don't you know what a hurry I'm in? All I want for you to do is print. Print for me O sweet Cannon M882. Print!" "You'll never understand Her like I do," muttered Ralph as he passed them on the way to the water cooler.

Etymology: A mash up of anthropomorphism, bro and minion. To attribution Best Friends Forever characteristics to inanimate objects in order to make them your minion and do your bidding.

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COMMENTS:

WOW, WEE! and I thought I made them long! - abrakadeborah, 2012-03-07: 14:41:00

Say that five times, fast! ;) - abrakadeborah, 2012-03-07: 14:42:00

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Carmmunication

artr

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: kärmyoōnukāshun

Sentence: We think it all started to go wrong when Chad named his car Rusty (short for rust bucket) Next he was indulging in carmummication, coaxing it to start on cold mornings, asking it to stop making those odd noises. Soon it spilled over to most every inanimate object he came into contact with. He has been known to demand an explanation from the company laserwriter when his document doesn't print correctly. If he sets a pen down on a table and it starts to roll, he will bark "STAY!" Friends are beginning to worry.

Etymology: Communication (the imparting or exchanging of information or news) + Car (a road vehicle, typically with four wheels, powered by an internal combustion engine and able to carry a small number of)

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COMMENTS:

More common than one would think - am I correct computer? - Jabberwocky, 2009-03-25: 15:20:00

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Frwrench

Created by: mweinmann

Pronunciation: fur - rench

Sentence: Suzy slowly turned the bolt and this time; used soothing words spoken in frwrench. It seemed to work as the wrench smoothly fit over the bolt and responded to her parisian accent. Job done, thought Suzy as she tipped her beret....

Etymology: french (a romantic languate), wrench (a tool used to tighten bolts).

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COMMENTS:

tres bien! - Nosila, 2010-10-07: 21:52:00

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Axecent

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: aks sent

Sentence: When Wanda spoke to her ax, Blade, she spoke with an axecent, in the hopes that her husband, Biff, would not understand. His open-mouth snoring and drooling had gotten on her nerves. Log-cutter or not, it was time to ax him from her life. His bad habits annoyed her and she found him incredibly boring. When Wanda felt this way, she knew she had to act and get a replacement quickly. She needed to make room for husband #4, Axel, someone far more suited to her. He was handsome, rich and wanted her badly. She spoke tenderly in her axecent to Blade and encouraged him to use his power on the hapless Biff. She persuaded him to do the deed and bury him in the back yard with the first 3 husbands who annoyed her. They were dead only because she could not hack them anymore!

Etymology: Ax (an edge tool with a heavy bladed head mounted across a handle; to terminate) & Accent (a diacritical mark used to indicate stress or placed above a vowel to indicate a special pronunciation;distinctive manner of oral expression)

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COMMENTS:

What a hilarious story....great word. - mweinmann, 2009-03-25: 08:46:00

If ever discovered, she could claim it was an axident! - silveryaspen, 2009-03-25: 09:57:00

axcellent - galwaywegian, 2009-03-25: 11:26:00

I think ax might need an accomplice to bury #3 - perhaps she would have to enlist the shove(woo)l - Jabberwocky, 2009-03-25: 15:19:00

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Woktalk

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: wok tok

Sentence: Judy talked to her appliances. She'd have a toaster toast; a spout shout; a fridge bitch; a kettle prattle and her favourite was a woktalk. She loved to stir-fry gossip and chopped vegetables with her fancy new wok, Wokker, the Texas Ranger. He understood her better than her husband and didn't argue back. One day, Judy and Wokker plotted the demise of her hubby, Ralph. By having a woktalk with her sharp knife, David Bowie and her ax, Nurse Hatchet, Judy's plan to eliminate an animate object was coming together. Ralph's shaver, Darth Razor, overheard the plotting and yelled at Ralph, "Run, don't Wok!"

Etymology: Wok (pan with a convex bottom; used for frying in Chinese cooking) & Talk (express in speech)

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Utensilexicon

Created by: Mustang

Pronunciation: yew-tens-uhl-LEX-eh-kon

Sentence: Martha had developed her own very extensive utensilexicon, a language whereby she actually believed she could communicate with and encourage her kitchen utensils and appliances as well as other tools to behave in ways beneficial to her.

Etymology: Blend of 'utensil' (any instrument, vessel, or tool serving a useful purpose) and 'lexicon' (the vocabulary of a particular language, field, social class, person, etc)

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