Verboticism: Megatool

'My nose hairs are scary!'

DEFINITION: n. A tool which has been re-purposed and is now being used (perhaps unsafely) to perform a completely different function. v. To use a tool for a different purpose than for which it was originally designed.

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Megatool

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Disasterisk

metrohumanx

Created by: metrohumanx

Pronunciation: dizz-ASS-turr-ISK

Sentence: Hacko's imported car had broken down on the Antelope Freeway, and as his deceased vehicle shuddered with the passing of each tractor trailer, he rummaged through the "hell box" of assorted utensils which took the place of a proper tool kit. Hacko was mechanically compromised, but he decided to DISASTERISK an amateur repair. Fortunately, he was not alone in his peril. Hacko's girlfriend and co-pilot/navigator was there with words of encouragement and derision to hasten his efforts at improvised repair. She handed him the HAZMOFLANGE, the WOUNDEVICE, the TRYTOFORCEITON, the NONFUNCTOROD, the BASSAKWARTOOL, the GIZMAYHURTCHA, the MISGUIDEPRESSOR, the MAYDAMAGEALLDEBAR and the chrome-plated MUTENSIL. After severing a tendon and skinning his knuckles, Hacko discovered that a DISASTERISK * was the tool most unsuited to to this particular problem. After sever bursting lacerations, he improperly used the DISASTERISK to hammer the engine into a steaming heap, demonstrated his version of "The Pain Dance" and stumbled down a hill onto a secondary road where he hailed a tow truck and ended his motorized nightmare...................................... * Nobody really knew what the DISASTERISK was, but some say it was purchased when Hacko fell under the hypnotic spell of a late-night infomercial and several bottles of fine Australian wine.

Etymology: DISaster+ASTErisk+RISK=DISASTERISK.....DISASTER: a sudden calamitous event bringing great damage, loss, or destruction, a sudden or great misfortune or failure; Middle French & Old Italian; Middle French desastre, from Old Italian disastro, from dis- (from Latin) + astro star, from Latin astrum.....ASTERISK: the character * used in printing or writing as a reference to various arbitrary meanings; Middle English, astarisc, from Late Latin asteriscus, from Greek asteriskos, literally, little star, diminutive of aster-, astēr.....RISK: someone or something that creates or suggests a hazard, possibility of loss or injury or peril; French risque, from Italian risco (1661).

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COMMENTS:

metrohumanx Always carry road flares, a roll of duct tape and a cool talisman when motoring. - metrohumanx, 2009-03-09: 01:54:00

metrohumanx http://www.odd-tools.com/ - metrohumanx, 2009-03-09: 03:01:00

metrohumanx As the sun describes it's mighty arc over this hapless continent, I await eagerly the many creative wordisms about to appear... - metrohumanx, 2009-03-09: 03:16:00

I love 'MUTENSIL'. - Tigger, 2009-03-09: 11:03:00

Disasterisk...great word! - Nosila, 2009-03-09: 22:56:00

Excellent! - Mustang, 2009-03-10: 02:54:00

Wonderful :) - abrakadeborah, 2009-03-25: 14:04:00

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Insinkerjuicer

petaj

Created by: petaj

Pronunciation: IN-sinker-juicer

Sentence: Darren, tired of cleaning the fibrous mess from his juicer, cobbled together a weird attachment for his garbage disposal unitt so that he could extract his favourite vegetable and fruit juices while the leftover bits simply disappeared down the sink. Being an ardent greenie, he also plumbed the outlet so that the watery mass of vegetable matter was washed into the compost bin.

Etymology: Insinkerator (garbage disposal) + juicer

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Skimprovise

Created by: Mustang

Pronunciation: SKIM-pro-vyz

Sentence: Even at risk of life and limb in using tools and devices dangerously to save a few pennies, Maribel would often skimprovise, sometimes even endangering those around her.

Etymology: Blend of 'skimp' (To provide for or supply inadequately; be stingy with) and 'improvise' (to make, provide, or arrange from whatever materials are readily available)

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Machamorphosis

Created by: TJayzz

Pronunciation: Mak-a-mor-foe-sis

Sentence: Budding inventor Ivor Patent-Pending, cleverly adapted his ceiling fan every winter by machamorphosis so that it blew out hot air, thus being able to dry his clothes when the weather was bad.

Etymology: Blend of Machine(an apparatus using mechanical power) and Metamorphosis(alter, to change completely)

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COMMENTS:

metrohumanx RIGHT-O TJ!...and with a string attached, it makes an EXCELLENT cat toy! - metrohumanx, 2009-03-09: 02:20:00

metrohumanx Machamorphosis....like a luvely flutterby! - metrohumanx, 2009-03-09: 02:25:00

good one - galwaywegian, 2009-03-09: 14:27:00

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Mchammer

Created by: rombus

Pronunciation: mik - ham - mer

Sentence: Donald decided to mchammer his dog house together with his mchammer. It was a new tool that he created using a baseball bat, a visegrip and a socket wrench....Instead of hitting the nail on the head, he destroyed the entire dog house with his "hammer time"... Oh well, Donald thought as he put down the bat...."can't touch this" as a hammer again....must take up baseball.

Etymology: hammer, McDonalds, M C Hammer....

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COMMENTS:

Really hammered this one! - silveryaspen, 2009-03-09: 14:13:00

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Limplement

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: lim ple ment

Sentence: Eileen was attemting to use her recycled saw to trim her nose hairs. Unfortunately, it slipped and severed her leg, making it a limplement. She now spells her name I-Lean...

Etymology: Limb (arm or leg or tree branch) & Implement (tool, device, instrument)

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COMMENTS:

Are you sure her name wasn't Noeleen? - galwaywegian, 2013-07-04: 07:29:00

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Oooooooooohtensil

Created by: galwaywegian

Pronunciation: ooooooooooh ten sihl

Sentence: with one quick twist of the pliers and the addition of an electric motor. the kitchen utensil became an oooooooooooohtensil.

Etymology: utensil, oooooooooh

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Pimplement

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: pimp le ment

Sentence: Janice had finally hit on the next great thing. She modified her belt sander to plane off the zits and blackheads on her T-Zone. She called it a pimplement. It seemed like a great idea at the time, but was never picked up by any of those companies who mass market new inventions. It seems their doctors and lawyers took exception to removing a layer of dermis in a painful manner with a rusty tool from the garage. Go figure!

Etymology: Pimple (zit;acne) & Implement (tool,instrument)

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Conglomergreats

Created by: silveryaspen

Pronunciation: cun glom er grates

Sentence: Alan Rench was out camping. He liked to rough it in the mountains. His sawtoothed blade doubled as his comb. His screw driver stirred his beans in the tin bucket, simmering over the campfire, as it hung by the tire iron, held aloft by his jack. His plate was one of his hubcaps. His pocket knife did triple duty, for he used it as his spoon and fork, too. He sang the old saw "I eat my beans with honey. I done it all my life. It makes 'em taste quite funny, but it keeps 'em on my knife." He also used his pocket knife to scrape his hubcap plate clean. Alan's multi-duty use of all his tools made them his conglomergreats!

Etymology: CONGLOMERATE - mix of many things. GREAT - large in number. So tools that be used for a mix of many things in a large number of ways are conglomergreats.

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COMMENTS:

It's a bit of a tongue twister, but if you can eat your beans off your knife, your tongue won't trip over it! - silveryaspen, 2009-03-09: 01:11:00

metrohumanx I'd LOVE to camp out with you! - metrohumanx, 2009-03-09: 01:13:00

metrohumanx Did you know you can cook flounder on your engine's manifold? It's VERY eco-efficient ! - metrohumanx, 2009-03-09: 02:18:00

I'd only cook a fish on the manifold for the halibut! And ps, silvery, they should be called BEEns! - Nosila, 2009-03-09: 22:53:00

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Overtool

artr

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: ōvərtoōl

Sentence: Hal likes to overtool every thing he does. He shaves in the morning with a machete that he sharpens and hones for 20 minutes. He mows his half-acre lawn with a combine after mixing cocktails in a Hobart 20-quart commercial mixer. He doesn’t see his numerous trips to the ER as an indication that he should change, just as a source of stories to share at the local hardware store.

Etymology: overkill (the amount by which destruction or the capacity for destruction exceeds what is necessary) + tool (a device or implement, esp. one held in the hand, used to carry out a particular function)

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COMMENTS:

RightOnTheWin Really neat concept ! - RightOnTheWin, 2010-09-21: 09:33:00

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