Verboticism: Joulery

'I knew you didn't want anything fattening...'

DEFINITION: n. A valentine gift which does not cause weight gain. v. To give a non-fattening gift as a symbol of love, which should not be interpreted -- under any circumstances -- as a comment on the recipient's weight.

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Unfattering

Created by: catalina

Pronunciation: UN-FAT-TER-ING

Sentence: I knew that you would be flattered by the unfattering gift I gave you for valentines day.

Etymology: Flattering

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Lovelite

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: luv lyte

Sentence: On their first date, he took her to a fast food restaurant. She left the ordering up to him, while eyeing the juicy triple bacon burgers, milkshakes and fries. He came back with exactly that as his order, but got for her instead a Coke Zero and a lettuce and tomato salad with no dressing. What she saw as his lovelight turned out to be a lovelite.

Etymology: Lovelight (a brightness of the eyes characteristic of someone in love) & Lite (diet, low calorie)

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Choconots

Created by: Nuwanda

Pronunciation: chalk-o-nots

Sentence: After hearing me lament about the Christmas weight gain and the impending doom of swimsuit season on the horizon, my husband really thought he was being considerate when he found a healthy alternative to Valentine's Day candy. However, he learned that the choconots were just the first of many denied pleasures of that holiday.

Etymology: The word "chocolates" altered to incorporate "not"

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COMMENTS:

Super funny! - silveryaspen, 2009-02-09: 19:50:00

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Fannymaynot

Created by: mweinmann

Pronunciation: fan - nee - may - not

Sentence: With Burt's Valentine's gift, Gloria's fanny may not become larger..... He gave her a fannymaynot heart, filled with little gifts instead of candy.

Etymology: Fanny + Fanny May + May Not >> Fanny (another word for buttocks) Fanny May (A popular brand of Candy, often given for Valentine's day) May Not (a prohibition, might not, not allowed to)

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Romancingthebones

Created by: TJayzz

Pronunciation: Ro-w-man-sing-the-bowns

Sentence: Noticing his wife had put on a few extra pounds over Christmas, Steve decided on a romancingthebones gift for Valentines Day. Instead of the usual large box of chocolates, he bought her a pair of trainers. He did also buy a huge bunch of flowers to bring out, just in case she tried to hit him with the footwear.

Etymology: Romance(Court the favour of) SEE ALSO Romancing the Stone(1984 Romantic Comedy starring Michael Douglas

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COMMENTS:

terrific - Jabberwocky, 2009-02-09: 08:43:00

Darling! - silveryaspen, 2009-02-09: 10:37:00

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Smattening

Created by: abrakadeborah

Pronunciation: sma-ten-ing

Sentence: Steven Stoopifidis, made sure to give a smattening Valentines heart to his sweetie, Miss Bootie Badonkazonker.

Etymology: Smack - To strike or slap smartly, with or as if with the open hand. Fattening - To make plump or fat.

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Yomammasoghurt

GlobalGallery

Created by: GlobalGallery

Pronunciation: yo-mumma-sow-gurt

Sentence: Brandon had made a special effort cooking for his wife Kylie for their 10th wedding anniversary. A seafood salad and some fine wine followed by fresh fruit and yomammasoghurt. "What's this?" asked Kylie. "Urm, the kids ate all the double choc-fudge ripple icecream" he sheepishly replied.

Etymology: 1. A play on the Yo' Mamma so fat jokes. eg 'Yo' Mamma so fat she aint got a waistline, she got an equator'. 'Yo' Mamma so fat they gotta take her licence picture with a satellite'. 2. yoghurt - a food product made from curdled milk.

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COMMENTS:

Never heard any Yo' Mamma jokes before, so thanks for for something new. Yoghurt is a word I'll be using as I don't like it. Well-crafted, punsome, funsome! - silveryaspen, 2009-02-09: 10:35:00

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Joulery

Created by: readerwriter

Pronunciation: jool-er-ee

Sentence: As Carmella stared at the softly gleaming string of pearls in front of her, she knew she had invented the perfect Valentine's gift. She would apply for the patent today! The hard, round vitamin-packed, sugar-free morsels she had meticulously drilled holes in would be called "joulery." Her company would be called Aunty's Joules because, of course, she was against anyone gaining weight from eating her creation. She knew she had a winner in these tough economic times. Dinner and a gift, all in one!

Etymology: A play on JOULE, meaning the energy created by caloric intake.

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COMMENTS:

When Carmella discovered her pearls weren't real, was she shocked? - silveryaspen, 2009-02-09: 10:47:00

Yes, especially as they were cast before swine! - readerwriter, 2009-02-09: 15:14:00

LOL - silveryaspen, 2009-02-09: 19:48:00

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Karatcake

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: kar at kayke

Sentence: Eddie always gave Shirley a karatcake for Valentine's day. It was a no-cal styrofoam corn cake with a piece of gold jewellery lying on it. But the price of gold kept going up, so next year he would probably get her a caratcake instead... you know the marriage proposal type of diamond ring.

Etymology: Karat (the weight of gold) & Cake (small flat mass of chopped food)

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Xerofatgy

Created by: Stevenson0

Pronunciation: Xe/ro/fat/gy

Sentence: A xerofatgy Valentine gift is perfect for that Jenny Craig bound partner.

Etymology: XEROFATGY - from XEROPHAGY (a fast observed among the primitive Christians) + FAT

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COMMENTS:

Thanks for introducing me to another new word. Apt and unique! Super originality. - silveryaspen, 2009-02-09: 10:44:00

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