Verboticism: Joulery

DEFINITION: n. A valentine gift which does not cause weight gain. v. To give a non-fattening gift as a symbol of love, which should not be interpreted -- under any circumstances -- as a comment on the recipient's weight.
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Joulery
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Smattening
Created by: abrakadeborah
Pronunciation: sma-ten-ing
Sentence: Steven Stoopifidis, made sure to give a smattening Valentines heart to his sweetie, Miss Bootie Badonkazonker.
Etymology: Smack - To strike or slap smartly, with or as if with the open hand. Fattening - To make plump or fat.
Xerofatgy
Created by: Stevenson0
Pronunciation: Xe/ro/fat/gy
Sentence: A xerofatgy Valentine gift is perfect for that Jenny Craig bound partner.
Etymology: XEROFATGY - from XEROPHAGY (a fast observed among the primitive Christians) + FAT
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COMMENTS:
Thanks for introducing me to another new word. Apt and unique! Super originality. - silveryaspen, 2009-02-09: 10:44:00
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Carborater
Created by: Mustang
Pronunciation: CAR-bo-rayt-ehr
Sentence: Much to the chagrin of his wife Lucy, Clarence was overly concerned about her health and her weight and he was a meticulous carborater and only upon careful examination of the listing of ingredients would he buy the least fattening foods, including Valentines day candy offerings.
Etymology: Blend of 'carbo' or (carbohydrate) and 'rater' (one who rates or assesses) A play on the word 'carburetor' (a device that meters 'fuel' to an engine)
Sweetgnawthings
Created by: Nosila
Pronunciation: sweet naw things
Sentence: Why was it when James whispered sweetgnawthings into Jenny's ear,she felt hungry. He called her his Sweetie Pie; his Lamb Chop, his Tutti Frutti, his Honeycakes and his Chocolate Passion. Luckily these sweetgnawthings cost her no calories, but left her feeling hungry and needing something tasty.
Etymology: Sweet Nothings (to whisper inconsequential expressions of affection into her ear) & Gnaw (to bite or chew on with teeth)
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COMMENTS:
Mind play with word play! Wow! - silveryaspen, 2009-02-11: 02:37:00
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Lowcalentine
Created by: skampy
Pronunciation: low-cal-entine
Sentence: I got you this lowcalentine to show you how much i love you and the fact that you just lost 19 pounds on the master cleanse.
Etymology:
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COMMENTS:
I like it! - kateinkorea, 2009-02-10: 09:12:00
Perfect blend of low calorie and valentine ... right on the definition ... superb verbotomy! Welcome! - silveryaspen, 2009-02-10: 18:07:00
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Voted For! | Comments and Points
Romancingthebones
Created by: TJayzz
Pronunciation: Ro-w-man-sing-the-bowns
Sentence: Noticing his wife had put on a few extra pounds over Christmas, Steve decided on a romancingthebones gift for Valentines Day. Instead of the usual large box of chocolates, he bought her a pair of trainers. He did also buy a huge bunch of flowers to bring out, just in case she tried to hit him with the footwear.
Etymology: Romance(Court the favour of) SEE ALSO Romancing the Stone(1984 Romantic Comedy starring Michael Douglas
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COMMENTS:
terrific - Jabberwocky, 2009-02-09: 08:43:00
Darling! - silveryaspen, 2009-02-09: 10:37:00
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Choconots
Created by: Nuwanda
Pronunciation: chalk-o-nots
Sentence: After hearing me lament about the Christmas weight gain and the impending doom of swimsuit season on the horizon, my husband really thought he was being considerate when he found a healthy alternative to Valentine's Day candy. However, he learned that the choconots were just the first of many denied pleasures of that holiday.
Etymology: The word "chocolates" altered to incorporate "not"
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COMMENTS:
Super funny! - silveryaspen, 2009-02-09: 19:50:00
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Karatcake
Created by: Nosila
Pronunciation: kar at kayke
Sentence: Eddie always gave Shirley a karatcake for Valentine's day. It was a no-cal styrofoam corn cake with a piece of gold jewellery lying on it. But the price of gold kept going up, so next year he would probably get her a caratcake instead... you know the marriage proposal type of diamond ring.
Etymology: Karat (the weight of gold) & Cake (small flat mass of chopped food)
Valenthin
Created by: silveryaspen
Pronunciation: val en thin
Sentence: Not a word by Peter was said, as on her valentine card, Bunny read: "Lettuce see if you carrot all for me, or if you'll just turnip your nose at my gift for thee." Bunny opened the boks, and to her choy, liked the long green, better than chocolate or soy. Together they crunched and munched, enjoying a great din-din. "Oh! Peter! You're some bunny! There's nothing wrong with your valenthin!"
Etymology: VALENTINE, THIN. Valentine - gift given to express love on February Fourteenth of each year. THIN - to be slim, or to keep being slim, that is to have, and keep on having, very little body fat.
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COMMENTS:
(Long green with a short future could also refer to money, double meanings from this funnybunny) - silveryaspen, 2009-02-09: 00:35:00
Very clever. Hehe. - GlobalGallery, 2009-02-09: 02:03:00
lovely sentence - Jabberwocky, 2009-02-09: 13:28:00
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Joulery
Created by: readerwriter
Pronunciation: jool-er-ee
Sentence: As Carmella stared at the softly gleaming string of pearls in front of her, she knew she had invented the perfect Valentine's gift. She would apply for the patent today! The hard, round vitamin-packed, sugar-free morsels she had meticulously drilled holes in would be called "joulery." Her company would be called Aunty's Joules because, of course, she was against anyone gaining weight from eating her creation. She knew she had a winner in these tough economic times. Dinner and a gift, all in one!
Etymology: A play on JOULE, meaning the energy created by caloric intake.
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COMMENTS:
When Carmella discovered her pearls weren't real, was she shocked? - silveryaspen, 2009-02-09: 10:47:00
Yes, especially as they were cast before swine! - readerwriter, 2009-02-09: 15:14:00
LOL - silveryaspen, 2009-02-09: 19:48:00
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