Verboticism: Growontreepreneur

'Is my money safe with you?'

DEFINITION: n. A bank which pays huge salaries to its executives who bet their customers' money on dumb investments, risky loans, and the inevitable government bail-out. v. To lend, spend, and mismanage a bank into bankruptcy.

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Mortgouge

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: mor gowj

Sentence: Remember the good old days, when a bank was synonymous with fidelity, trust, credit? Now they only pay you interest when they want to lien on you. They mortgouge your soul and make you do a balancing act everyday. They venture your hard-earned money and sell it into bondage. They make an asset out of you and me and you can take that to the bank.

Etymology: Mortgage (a conditional conveyance of property as security for the repayment of a loan; put up as security or collateral) & Gouge (obtain by coercion or intimidation)

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Baringesse

Created by: OZZIEBOB

Pronunciation: BAIR-ing-JES

Sentence: After the baringesse of his personal banker and his financial planner, Bob's life became downgraded to standard and poor. Furthermore, upon finding out that OED. had redefined "Profit" as an archaic word no longer in use; and that his key banker was living in luxury in the Virgin Islands, the term "instutionalised investor" repercussioned in his head.

Etymology: Formed from BARING: Speculative trading on Singapore's International Monetary Exchange caused the spectacular collapse of Barings Bank, the United Kingdom's oldest investment bank. Barings bank was founded in 1762 by John and Francis Baring & LARGESSE: generous bestowal of gifts. 2. the gift or gifts, as of money, so bestowed.

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COMMENTS:

World Class sentence and word. - silveryaspen, 2009-01-27: 10:03:00

terrific - Jabberwocky, 2009-01-27: 10:18:00

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Shitibank

Created by: idavecook

Pronunciation: Shit-EEE-Bay-n-k

Sentence: "I just got a job at Shitibank!" exclaimed Joe the plumber as he leapt unknowingly down the stairs to his demise. To the horror of his co-workers and recent ex-coworkers, they wondered if Joe knew he had been laid off before his neck hit the last step?

Etymology: A loan, a dick, and your ass.

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COMMENTS:

Good play on Citibank butt the etymology?? - mweinmann, 2009-01-27: 11:44:00

Great word...you'd think with exorbitant interest they charge they could keep a few more Joe's on staff.. - Nosila, 2009-01-27: 23:20:00

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Bankrapers

Created by: silveryaspen

Pronunciation: bank rape ers

Sentence: As CEO (Cheat Em Officer) of the bank, the first disorder of business was to set my salary at a million of your invested dollars, per year. Of course, each bored member voted the same for themselves. Knowing loans made, would never be repaid, we voted to lend all our business buzzard friends, millions more, so they could carrion their extravagant lifestyles and hide their rotting businesses. The rest of your money, we sinvested in the worthless stock of these business buzzards' companies. For screwing you out of your money, and screwing the government out of billions more, we have become known as the biggest bankrapers in history!

Etymology: BANK, RAPE. Also a word play on bank robbers. BANK - business offering financial services: a business that KEEPS MONEY for individual people or companies, exchanges currencies, makes loans, and offers other financial services. RAPE - violent abusive destructive treatment.

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Theloandanger

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: the lone dane jer

Sentence: "With his faithful fiscal companion, Bunko, the daring, diabolic and resourceful masked rider of the plain, that Lion of Credit, led the fight for unlawful banking and disorderly monetary conduct in the United States. Nowhere in the pages of history can one find a greater champion of injustice. No deed went unrealized. Return with us now to those thrilling days of yesteryear (and today)...wherever a family stands to lose their home, or a small company has to declare bankruptcy or average citizens have their money used and lost, all the while being charged for each "transaction"; where cars and boats and motorbikes are repossessed; where an individual's assets are frozen (painful) or where an investor jumps from a bridge saying, "Goodbye,it's accrual world", it will be on account of Theloandanger. From out of the past come the thundering hoofbeats of the great horse Silver Bullion! Theloandanger rides again!" MisadVentures usually concluded with one of the characters lamenting the fact that they never learned the anti-hero's name ("Who was that masked man?"), only to be told, "Why, he's Theloandanger! He's the Bank's CEO, he's under indictment, out on bail in a plea-bargain arrangement, that's why we never know his real name!" as he and Bunko ride away, heading for South America, where there were plenty of non-extradition treaties. Departing on his white horse Silver Bullion, the Danger would infamously say "Hi-yo, your Silver is away!" as the horse galloped toward the setting sun. Each venture was not over until the dividEND!

Etymology: Wordplay on The Lone Ranger(old Western radio and television series) & Loan (money leant by a bank for a fee) & Danger (peril;a venture undertaken without regard to possible loss or injury or harm)

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COMMENTS:

High! Yo! Yo rate the highest! Luv it! - silveryaspen, 2009-01-27: 01:39:00

metrohumanx Today's definition seems to have struck some raw nerves. Great composition, Kimosabe! - metrohumanx, 2009-01-27: 15:24:00

Who was that masked man?? - Mustang, 2009-01-27: 19:41:00

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Growontreepreneur

GlobalGallery

Created by: GlobalGallery

Pronunciation: grow-on-tree-pren-yer

Sentence: "Thankyou Sir" uttered Manuel as he palmed the wrinkled dollar bill handed to him by the sunburnt banker in the driveway of the country club. "The keys are in your Ferrari, and your golf clubs wouldn't quite fit so I've put them in your wife's Bentley" he said politely. As the Ferrari sped off Manuel wondered if one day he too could be a wealthy growontreepreneur.

Etymology: 1. Money doesn't grow on trees - A phrase used to express the need for financial restraint. 2. entrepreneur - someone who organises a business venture and assumes the risk for it.

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COMMENTS:

An Irony Hit! - silveryaspen, 2009-01-27: 10:08:00

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Bankmananrobbing

Created by: TJayzz

Pronunciation: Bank-man-an-robb-ing

Sentence: When Bruce invested his money in the bank he thought it would be as safe as houses, what he didn't realise however was that this particlar bank used the bankmananrobbing method and frittered their customers money away with risky loans and dodgy, and at times illegal investments.

Etymology: Bankman(short for bankmanager) + Robbing(to deprive one person of something to pay another) = Bankmananrobbing

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COMMENTS:

thought you were going for the Batman and Robin connection especially when Bruce is involved. It would work well in your etymology bankmanandrobbin - Jabberwocky, 2009-01-27: 10:17:00

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Bankboozle

Created by: splendiction

Pronunciation: bank boo zl

Sentence: Bankboozle (noun or verb). The bankboozle denied its shifty ways of taking finance to the extreme: purchasing companies that didn't exist, providing discredit and embezzling the rest to their shrwiss accounts.

Etymology: This word is a combination of "bank" and part of the word "bamboozle". Bank means to hold (in this case, one's money or investments) and bamboozle means to hoodwink, deceive or confuse.

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COMMENTS:

I think I've been bankboozled before. Good word. - Mustang, 2009-01-27: 19:42:00

meaning so apparent, easy to say, fun to say, good pun, has originality ... exceptional verbotomy. - silveryaspen, 2009-01-28: 01:44:00

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Squirlvestor

Created by: LiaraTivona

Pronunciation: skwerl-vest-or

Sentence: "Why would you give your money to a bank that is a known squirlvestor?" "Don't squirlvestor this company away at a time when the competition is looming!"

Etymology: squirrel (v. to store stashes for the future, many of which may not be recovered) investor (n. a person who arranges finances, often on behalf of others, by placing them in other locations in the hopes of future returns)

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Dinvestor

Created by: mweinmann

Pronunciation: din - vest - or

Sentence: Margery began to suspect that her bank had become a dinvestor instead of an investor of her funds. Lately, she was growing suspicious that either they were incompetent or that they were siphoning off funds and worried that her money might disappear. There were an increasing number of expensive cars in the parking lot but the property was looking a bit unkempt. She had also stopped receiving statements lately....hmmmm

Etymology: Divest + Investor >>> Divest (In finance and economics, divestment or divestiture is the reduction of some kind of asset for either financial goals or ethical objectives. A divestment is the opposite of an investment) Investor (A person who invests money in order to make a profit)

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