Verboticism: Masturgration

'Oh-oh, I'm surrounded '

DEFINITION: n. A pile of used and discarded tissues; may constitute a bio-hazard. v. To drop a used tissue on to the floor beside your bed or chair, because you are so sick you can barely move.

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Masturgration

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Viralysis

petaj

Created by: petaj

Pronunciation: vi-RAL-a-sis

Sentence: Although Kevin was in danger of asphyxiation by tissue, his viralysis was total and he could do nothing more than drop another tissue onto the sodden snotscape.

Etymology: viral + paralysis

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COMMENTS:

kashman Brilliant...quite "snoty" analysis of the "paralysis" :) - kashman, 2008-03-10: 13:00:00

this word really grows on you - Jabberwocky, 2008-03-10: 16:57:00

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Phlegmbuoyancy

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: flem boy ansee

Sentence: Even when deathly ill, Marcus exuded a certain phlegmbuoyancy. Although he felt he was on death's doorknob, he wore his silk pyjamas and monogrammed silk robe, along with his designer slippers. He used not paper hankies or toilet paper to remove his mucus, but a supply of monogrammed silk handkerchiefs, which his butler gathered up to send to the CDC in Atlanta. Marcus reclined on his chaiselongue, under a mink throw and suffered through this ague. With a full table of aspirin, cough syrups and decongestants, everything that modern medicine could afford was laid out at his bedside. His butler brought him hot toddies in gold or silver goblets and had steamy moisture piped into his sick room. He winced when his doctor had told him he had the Common Cold...how could that happen to one of such superior breeding? Beside his bed lay one of the classic books he currently read, called Great Expectorations, printed in its original Phlegmish language!

Etymology: Phlegm (nasal mucus) & Buoyancy (cheerfulness that bubbles to the surface;irrepressible liveliness and good spirit;the property of something weightless and insubstantial) Flamboyancy (richly and brilliantly colorful;elaborately or excessively ornamented)

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COMMENTS:

Eleveating the common cold to the royal pain it truly is! The grandiose elevated to the grandinose! - silveryaspen, 2009-01-02: 07:43:00

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Biohazmat

artr

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: bīōhazmat

Sentence: Paul was so sick that he didn't even care that his attempt to contain his tissues had gone hopelessly astray. Between the sofa where he was curled up and the waste paper basket was a trail of used tissues — a mucous menace — a phlegm flow — a biohazmat. After 3 days the mass had started to congeal into a two-dimensional piñata from hell.

Etymology: Biohazard (a risk to human health or the environment arising from biological work) + hazmat (Hazardous materials and items) + mat (a small rug)

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COMMENTS:

Haz my vote... - Nosila, 2009-01-02: 18:03:00

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Phlegmflam

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: flem flam

Sentence: When Oscar phoned in sick again, his boss, Mr. Ness, became suspicious and sent someone over to see what was happening. Instead of flimflam, this time Oscar really did have Phlegmflam and was surrounded in a pile of dirty tissues. His boss soon was sorry to doubt Oscar, as his agent not only got infected himself, but gave it to the boss on his report. After that he was known as Mr. Ill Ness!

Etymology: Phlegm (sputum;expectorated matter; saliva mixed with discharges from the respiratory passages) & Flam (A lie or hoax; a deception or Nonsense; drivel). Wordplay on FlimFlam (a swindle in which you cheat)

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Infloorendsza

Created by: Jabberwocky

Pronunciation: in/flor/ends/za

Sentence: Josh had learned in his meditation class to let go of problems and let them float away so he put the teaching into practice used infloorendsza to rid himself of his germs carefully wrapped up in tissues.

Etymology: influenza + floor + ends + za (which is sort of like ya)

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COMMENTS:

petaj Sick! And it suggests that some kind of growth (flora) has taken over. - petaj, 2008-03-10: 09:55:00

Snot so bad! Song for the day, Booger Woogie Bugle Boy! - purpleartichokes, 2008-03-10: 18:25:00

Good word. The eyes have it, parhaps more the noses! - OZZIEBOB, 2008-03-10: 21:10:00

LOve the way you embedded floor and ends in influenza ... clever blending ... fits the definition. Outstanding word! - silveryaspen, 2008-03-10: 23:00:00

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Fengtisshui

Created by: queenjane75

Pronunciation: fang-tissue-e

Sentence: Suffering through the second round of antibiotics, and the fourth week of a sinus infection, Bob, through his serious study of tissue placement, had incidentally become a master of fengtisshui.

Etymology: feng-shui+tissue=fengtisshui

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COMMENTS:

Funny and very fun! Unique choice of words to blend. Ingeniously Well Done! - silveryaspen, 2008-03-10: 23:09:00

Hillariously clever creation! - Tigger, 2008-03-10: 23:20:00

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Mucousfication

Created by: bookowl

Pronunciation: mew/cus/fi/cay/shun

Sentence: By the time they found him, mucousfication was already complete. The mess of mucousy tissues had crept up the side of his bed and bound him head to toe. They named him Snotuncommon.

Etymology: mucous + mummification

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COMMENTS:

Love Snotuncommon... reminds me of that Tom Jones song, It's Snot Unusual. - purpleartichokes, 2008-03-10: 18:27:00

Snot the end of the world, he could be a victim on CSI!! - Nosila, 2008-03-10: 19:30:00

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Snotsam

Created by: bigveg

Pronunciation: snot-sam

Sentence: Bill was astonished by the amount of snotsam that could accumulate in just one night.

Etymology: snot: the stuff you put on a tissue flotsam: wreckage which can wash ashore

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COMMENTS:

HA! Love it! - purpleartichokes, 2008-03-10: 06:52:00

Perfect! - ErWenn, 2008-03-10: 09:47:00

petaj you can really pick em. - petaj, 2008-03-10: 09:52:00

excellent - galwaywegian, 2008-03-10: 11:03:00

Great creation! - Jamagra, 2008-03-10: 13:12:00

kashman you should feel floating yourself after picking this great one :) - kashman, 2008-03-10: 13:13:00

clever - Jabberwocky, 2008-03-10: 16:56:00

Yep, you picked a winner! - purpleartichokes, 2008-03-10: 18:30:00

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Phleghoard

Created by: pilar1347

Pronunciation: FLEG-ord

Sentence: n: John is so sick the phelghoard on his night-stand is taller than the lamp! v: I know Mary has a cold, but she's been phelghoarding all over our shared workspace.

Etymology: A combination of phelgm and hoard.

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Phlegmzard

kashman

Created by: kashman

Pronunciation: Flem-zard

Sentence: Fighting with cold left George so numb that he became indifferent to the phlegmzard created in the living room of his shared apartment; this apparent "coldness" resulted in exodus of his roomate to less hazardous environment.

Etymology: Phlegm (viscid mucus secreted while suffering from cold) + Hazard (source of danger).

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