Verboticism: Carborater

'I knew you didn't want anything fattening...'

DEFINITION: n. A valentine gift which does not cause weight gain. v. To give a non-fattening gift as a symbol of love, which should not be interpreted -- under any circumstances -- as a comment on the recipient's weight.

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Goodiva

artr

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: gooddahyva

Sentence: Will's ample-figured girlfriend loves her chocolate. Valentine's Day puts him in a quandary. Does he support her desire to be healthier or her vices? He may have found a way to do both as long as she doesn't notice the slight labeling change on the big box of sugar-free knockoff brand of Goodiva chocolates.

Etymology: good (of high quality) + Godiva (brand of high-end chocolate)

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Smattening

Created by: abrakadeborah

Pronunciation: sma-ten-ing

Sentence: Steven Stoopifidis, made sure to give a smattening Valentines heart to his sweetie, Miss Bootie Badonkazonker.

Etymology: Smack - To strike or slap smartly, with or as if with the open hand. Fattening - To make plump or fat.

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Covertcarbcurber

Created by: kateinkorea

Pronunciation: CO vert CARB cur bur

Sentence: I know my boyfriend is worried about me getting fat like the other women in my family, so he was kind of sneaky about how he gave me my present. That covertcarbcurber gave me chocolates but he made sure I opened them around my mother and sisters...and they ate most of them.

Etymology: COVERT:to do something and try to go unnoticed or stay hidden CARB: short for carbohydrate CURBER: a person who curbs, or stops or limits an activity or thing

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Lovelite

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: luv lyte

Sentence: On their first date, he took her to a fast food restaurant. She left the ordering up to him, while eyeing the juicy triple bacon burgers, milkshakes and fries. He came back with exactly that as his order, but got for her instead a Coke Zero and a lettuce and tomato salad with no dressing. What she saw as his lovelight turned out to be a lovelite.

Etymology: Lovelight (a brightness of the eyes characteristic of someone in love) & Lite (diet, low calorie)

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Unfattering

Created by: catalina

Pronunciation: UN-FAT-TER-ING

Sentence: I knew that you would be flattered by the unfattering gift I gave you for valentines day.

Etymology: Flattering

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Carborater

Created by: Mustang

Pronunciation: CAR-bo-rayt-ehr

Sentence: Much to the chagrin of his wife Lucy, Clarence was overly concerned about her health and her weight and he was a meticulous carborater and only upon careful examination of the listing of ingredients would he buy the least fattening foods, including Valentines day candy offerings.

Etymology: Blend of 'carbo' or (carbohydrate) and 'rater' (one who rates or assesses) A play on the word 'carburetor' (a device that meters 'fuel' to an engine)

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Carborater

Created by: Mustang

Pronunciation: CAR-bo-rayt-ehr

Sentence: Much to the chagrin of his wife Sadie, Carmichael was overly concerned about her health and her weight and he was a meticulous carborater and only upon careful examination of the listing of ingredients would he buy the least fattening foods, including Valentines day candy offerings.

Etymology: Blend of 'carbo' or carbohydrate and 'rater'....one who rates or assesses. A play on the word 'carburetor'..a device that meters 'fuel' to an engine.

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Choconots

Created by: Nuwanda

Pronunciation: chalk-o-nots

Sentence: After hearing me lament about the Christmas weight gain and the impending doom of swimsuit season on the horizon, my husband really thought he was being considerate when he found a healthy alternative to Valentine's Day candy. However, he learned that the choconots were just the first of many denied pleasures of that holiday.

Etymology: The word "chocolates" altered to incorporate "not"

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COMMENTS:

Super funny! - silveryaspen, 2009-02-09: 19:50:00

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Allyouneedislove

Created by: splendiction

Pronunciation: all you need is love

Sentence: Allyouneedislove love, love is all you need...not chocolate.

Etymology: From a famous song by the late John Lennon.

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Joulery

Created by: readerwriter

Pronunciation: jool-er-ee

Sentence: As Carmella stared at the softly gleaming string of pearls in front of her, she knew she had invented the perfect Valentine's gift. She would apply for the patent today! The hard, round vitamin-packed, sugar-free morsels she had meticulously drilled holes in would be called "joulery." Her company would be called Aunty's Joules because, of course, she was against anyone gaining weight from eating her creation. She knew she had a winner in these tough economic times. Dinner and a gift, all in one!

Etymology: A play on JOULE, meaning the energy created by caloric intake.

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COMMENTS:

When Carmella discovered her pearls weren't real, was she shocked? - silveryaspen, 2009-02-09: 10:47:00

Yes, especially as they were cast before swine! - readerwriter, 2009-02-09: 15:14:00

LOL - silveryaspen, 2009-02-09: 19:48:00

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