Voted For: Gifthorrors

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: əgləmənt

Sentence: Bill and Joan have one of the prettiest Christmas trees in the neighborhood. The only thing that keeps it from being the best is the huge uglament they are obligated to hang prominently on their tree. It was a gift from Joan's mother. Mom made this atrocious bauble in her craft class from an egg carton and too much glitter.

Etymology: ugly (unpleasant or repulsive, esp. in appearance) + ornament (a thing used to adorn something but usually having no practical purpose)

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Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: gift hors

Sentence: It had become a tradition at Christmas as much as decorating the tree and putting up lights. It meant Mother was coming to stay for the holidays and although we loved her dearly and looked forward to seeing her, we had to dig out that painting she had given us many years ago and hang it over the fireplace. It stayed the rest of the yhear in the attic. That's because it was painted on black velvet, with glow-in-the-dark paints, framed inside a gaudy rococco gilt frame. Yes, being his #1 fan, Mother had bought us a portrait of Elvis. Wearing a white jumpsuit, sneering into the microphone in his hand and tilting his pelvis our way! You could push a button at the bottom of the frame and tinny music of him singing would belt out. Our friends who visited over the years hooted and hollered at the tacky image. Neighbours would make the pilgrimmage each year to see The King. He was a gifthoarse that made people laugh and sing along. We always said we would pull him out for Mother's visit, so as not to hurt her feelings, but one of these years old age would overtake her and we would no longer be obligated to carry on the charade. It was then that we realized that the song he sang from the portrait, "I'll have a Blue Christmas without you" would become very poignant to us.

Etymology: gift (a present, something given) & hoarse (deep and harsh sounding as if from shouting or illness or emotion) & old saying: "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" old proverb which means don't question how you acquired something or what it cost. The advice given is be grateful for your good fortune and don't look for more by examining it to assess its value.

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COMMENTS:

Awwww. How moving. Nice work, Lady. - metrohumanx, 2008-12-16: 02:40:00

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Created by: OZZIEBOB

Pronunciation: PREZZ-ee-DIJ-ee-TATE

Sentence: Bob had just put away the kitschsake toaster-clock his mother had given him many years before, when he heard the news that his mother-in-law was on her way over to his place. Quickly, and in order not to offend her, he rummaged through an old trunk in his garage to find the indoor sundial she had given him as a birthday present. Fortunately for him, with good luck and a dash of good memory, he found it and prezzidigitated it, as a dragonsop, into a place of prominence and importance for her to see.

Etymology: Blend of PREZZI: (slang for present, gift.) & PRESTIDIGITATE: to be manually dexterios in the execution of tricks ; sleight of hand. KITSCHSAKE: Conflation of KITSCH(from German)meaning: gaudy, trashy objects or items and (OE) SAKE, as in "keepsake", meaning an item kept for the sake of the giver. DRAGONSOP: DRAGON-Slang term for mother-in-law or wife; SOP: Anything given (or done)to pacify; -- so called from the sop given to Cerberus, as related in mythology.

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COMMENTS:

Works like magic for me! - silveryaspen, 2008-12-16: 22:36:00

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Created by: emdeejay

Pronunciation: Faye Solder

Sentence: Dear old Aunt Faye. She would be best described as having a heart of gold, being generous to a fault, and possessing a taste for the profoundly kitsch. The cupboards of her relatives were stacked to the brim with gifts ranging from the impossibly garish, to the patently absurd. This year, Jayne and John were taking their turn at hosting the family festive gathering. Some show of appreciation for Faye's presence would have to be shown, so after a short deliberation it was down with the Salvador Dali print, and up with "Big Mouth Billy Bass"! Fortunately the luncheon passed without major incident; the family chipper, overfed, and blissfully subdued. Suddenly, an uncomfortable silence fell over the mirthful murmur as Faye inquired: "John whatever became of that delightful water feature I gave you, or that fabulous paisley shirt?" Faceholder to the rescue! John strolled casually over to Billy Bass and just before pressing the button he remarked "Dear Aunt Faye! My shirt has been worn so often, it's at the tailors for a mend. But Billy you see is the pride of the mantle!" And the family, relieved, joined Billy in a rousing rendition of "Take me to the river"

Etymology: Placeholder: Object or entity employed until an adequate replacement can be found. Face (to save): action employed for the purpose of maintaining dignity.

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Created by: mrskellyscl

Pronunciation: pre-sen-ten-tious

Sentence: The green and blue speckled ash tray that Sam's mother made was presententiously displayed whenever the old bat came to visit, since neither Eileen, her husband, nor anyone else they knew smoked, except for Sam's mother.

Etymology: present:gift + pretentious: receiving or demanding a distinction of merit, especially when not justified; making an outward show

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Created by: hendrixius

Pronunciation: /in-tur-ruh-man-tull-pees/

Sentence: John reluctantly displayed the interimantlepiece over the couch in the family room, despite the fact that a singing bass did not exactly match the room's decor.

Etymology: "interim" and "mantle-piece"

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Created by: Jabberwocky

Pronunciation: in/tens/gift/fie

Sentence: Quick, we'd better intensgiftfy the weeping madonna by taking her out from behind the couch and seating her at the table.

Etymology: intensify + gift

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Created by: Nuwanda

Pronunciation: crap-pree-she-ate

Sentence: After hearing that his Aunt Marsha was coming to the baby shower, Kyle ran to the basement, dug out the" painting of the shore birds that Marsha had "commissioned" her best friend to do for their house and put it in a prominent spot where everyone could crappreciate it.

Etymology: Crap + Appreciate

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Created by: andrian

Pronunciation: blos-ta-tiz

Sentence: The man in the picture is blostatizing a toilet scrubber.

Etymology: This is the verb form. The noun is blostate.

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Created by: petaj

Pronunciation: horror-on-er

Sentence: Holly hauled the horrific heirloom out of the house and secreted it behind a heavyduty tarpaulin in the shed. She felt sure that Granny, at 94, would surely not live to see out another Christmas. This was likely the last time she would have to horroronour the hand-carved horologue.

Etymology: horror + honour

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COMMENTS:

Hysterical :-) - emdeejay, 2008-12-16: 05:39:00

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