Verboticism: Automaddening
DEFINITION: v. To call a phone "help line" and spend 45 minutes pushing buttons and screaming at dumb voice-recognition system, before being automatically disconnected. n. A push-button or voice-activated phone menu system designed to irritate those who use it.
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Automaddening
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Automanic
Created by: Mustang
Pronunciation: aw-tuh-man-ik
Sentence: Stephan had run out of patience when the automated system dumped him for a third time and in his automanic state he thoroughly destroyed his cell phone.
Etymology: Blend of automated and manic
Telrettes
Created by: griffiegrrl
Pronunciation: Tell-retts
Sentence: John was experiencing Tellrettes when he was on an automated help-line the other day, and required a tranquilizer to calm him down.
Etymology: Turrets Syndrome (Spelling tweaked), Telephone
Helpwhine
Created by: artr
Pronunciation: helpwīn
Sentence: Most every company has some version of a helpwhine. If you can push the right buttons, you are allowed to vent your frustrations to somebody who may or may not care what you have to say — somebody who may or may not speak discernible English. This assumes that you are ever able to find that lone human in the maze of options. ”Your Call is very important to... click”.
Etymology: help (assist) + whine (a feeble or petulant complaint)
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COMMENTS:
Dead on! - catgrin, 2010-06-21: 05:49:00
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Vexmail
Created by: Nosila
Pronunciation: veks mayl
Sentence: When Bruce tried calling the phone company to extend the minutes on his phone, he had to go through no less than 20 prompts of vexmail to reach the person he needed. By that point the call was moot because he had stomped his phone in an act of cellacide and put it into receivership.
Etymology: Vex (irritate, annoy) & Voicemail (automated phone message system)
Illedigitimate
Created by: stache
Pronunciation: ĭl'ĭ-dĭ-jĭt'ə-mĭt
Sentence: The illedigitemate "help" menu Bjorn reached when he called AT&T was all but helpful. After wearing a blister on his button finger and being irritated to the point of requiring three double gin-and-tonics he hung up and found the answer he needed in the help menu on his cell phone.
Etymology: meld of 'illegitimate' and 'digit' (finger)/'digital.'
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COMMENTS:
fun to say - Jabberwocky, 2008-04-14: 16:21:00
Uuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhm. Three double gin-and-tonics . . . I can almost taste the lime on my stirring digit. - doseydotes, 2008-04-14: 16:35:00
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Helline
Created by: mrskellyscl
Pronunciation: hel-line
Sentence: James became homicidal after waiting 45 minutes on the helline because he was suicidal. The smarmy sound of the robovoice telling him how important his call was and the 16 measure monophonic drone of Vivaldi finally drove him over the edge causing him to put an end to his suffering by putting a bullet through his earpiece.
Etymology: hell+line: wordplay on helpline
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COMMENTS:
LOL good one Mrskellyscl !!! :) - abrakadeborah, 2009-05-20: 02:57:00
VERY good! - Mustang, 2009-05-20: 06:51:00
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Digigeridoo
Created by: Stevenson0
Pronunciation: dij/i/uh-ree-doo
Sentence: Whenever I phone Bell Canada, our national phone company for service, I always encounter the digigeridoo system, which encompasses pressing hundreds of buttons which only produces unintelligible irritating voice activated drone sounds and than a very clear "Thank you for calling Bell".
Etymology: digit + didgeridoo (a musical instrument of Australian Aborigines that creates a low drone sound)
Autocommunifrustratilooplooploop
Created by: CanadianAndyCapp
Pronunciation: Or-tow-kom-U-ni-fruss-tray-tee-loop-loop-loop (with the final three loops said in an increasingly aggitated, high, strangulated manner)
Sentence: (Taken from a speech by General Ludd)...."...Tecno-phobes and Luddites unite! you have only the shackles of your automated communications and information data retrieval systems to lose. We have been tricked into believing that these "new and improved" technologies were developed to improve our lives. Not So! they are the subvertive systems by which we are brainwashed into surrendering our individual creative and social capabilities to the mind-numbing and straitjacket methods of the computerised system we are trying to use. For proof we need look no further than the omnipresent office automatic phone systems and their cunningly devised autocommunifrustratilooplooploop tortures. Arise, rebels of the future and reclaim your sanity and souls!!!!..." This message is recorded for public information. Please press one to repeat this message, Two for information on how to...........looplooploop
Etymology: Auto - Automatic (Constantly breaking down) / Communi - Communication (totally without intelligent substance) / Frustrati - Frustration (The Human condition) / Looplooploop (Go back to the beginning and start again-again-again)
Autohated
Created by: artr
Pronunciation: aw-tuh-heyt-ed
Sentence: After receiving hundreds of complaints about uneven treatment by customer-service reps - helpful and cordial one day, rude and uncaring the next - company executives decided that the only way to be fair and treat the entire public the same was to install an autohated voice mail system that would frustrate and hang up on everyone equally. They seem happy that the call volume has dropped dramatically.
Etymology: automated (to operate or control with a minimum of human interaction)+ hated (the object of extreme aversion or hostility)
