Verboticism: Megatool

DEFINITION: n. A tool which has been re-purposed and is now being used (perhaps unsafely) to perform a completely different function. v. To use a tool for a different purpose than for which it was originally designed.
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Megatool
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Disasterisk
Created by: metrohumanx
Pronunciation: dizz-ASS-turr-ISK
Sentence: Hacko's imported car had broken down on the Antelope Freeway, and as his deceased vehicle shuddered with the passing of each tractor trailer, he rummaged through the "hell box" of assorted utensils which took the place of a proper tool kit. Hacko was mechanically compromised, but he decided to DISASTERISK an amateur repair. Fortunately, he was not alone in his peril. Hacko's girlfriend and co-pilot/navigator was there with words of encouragement and derision to hasten his efforts at improvised repair. She handed him the HAZMOFLANGE, the WOUNDEVICE, the TRYTOFORCEITON, the NONFUNCTOROD, the BASSAKWARTOOL, the GIZMAYHURTCHA, the MISGUIDEPRESSOR, the MAYDAMAGEALLDEBAR and the chrome-plated MUTENSIL. After severing a tendon and skinning his knuckles, Hacko discovered that a DISASTERISK * was the tool most unsuited to to this particular problem. After sever bursting lacerations, he improperly used the DISASTERISK to hammer the engine into a steaming heap, demonstrated his version of "The Pain Dance" and stumbled down a hill onto a secondary road where he hailed a tow truck and ended his motorized nightmare...................................... * Nobody really knew what the DISASTERISK was, but some say it was purchased when Hacko fell under the hypnotic spell of a late-night infomercial and several bottles of fine Australian wine.
Etymology: DISaster+ASTErisk+RISK=DISASTERISK.....DISASTER: a sudden calamitous event bringing great damage, loss, or destruction, a sudden or great misfortune or failure; Middle French & Old Italian; Middle French desastre, from Old Italian disastro, from dis- (from Latin) + astro star, from Latin astrum.....ASTERISK: the character * used in printing or writing as a reference to various arbitrary meanings; Middle English, astarisc, from Late Latin asteriscus, from Greek asteriskos, literally, little star, diminutive of aster-, astēr.....RISK: someone or something that creates or suggests a hazard, possibility of loss or injury or peril; French risque, from Italian risco (1661).
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COMMENTS:
Always carry road flares, a roll of duct tape and a cool talisman when motoring. - metrohumanx, 2009-03-09: 01:54:00
http://www.odd-tools.com/ - metrohumanx, 2009-03-09: 03:01:00
As the sun describes it's mighty arc over this hapless continent, I await eagerly the many creative wordisms about to appear... - metrohumanx, 2009-03-09: 03:16:00
I love 'MUTENSIL'. - Tigger, 2009-03-09: 11:03:00
Disasterisk...great word! - Nosila, 2009-03-09: 22:56:00
Excellent! - Mustang, 2009-03-10: 02:54:00
Wonderful :) - abrakadeborah, 2009-03-25: 14:04:00
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Tual
Created by: kateinkorea
Pronunciation: TYOO eul
Sentence: Many months after her boyfriend had run out on her, Sally realized that she had to clean out the basement of Dick’s tools. As she piled them by the garbage she suddenly started to see another picture. These tools might have other uses. It began with duct tape. She discovered that everything in her kitchen could be fixed, held together, or constructed with the help of duct tape. Soon she was cutting garlic with a utility knife; marinating meat in a paint tray; using crescent wrenches or hammers to tenderize meat; and a drill with a twirly contraption on the end as a mixer. All of these tools had dual functions. This huge tual box had proven its worthiness and found a place in her new kitchen-workshop.
Etymology: TOOL: DUAL:
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COMMENTS:
Sounds like the perfect word for Alton Brown (from the show 'Good Eats' - not sure if you've seen it, but he's always using items from the hardware store in the kitchen). - Tigger, 2009-03-09: 11:09:00
Smile-icious! - silveryaspen, 2009-03-09: 11:13:00
super - Jabberwocky, 2009-03-09: 13:54:00
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Gadgetlag
Created by: Nosila
Pronunciation: gad jet lag
Sentence: Ever since Wilbur & Orville had sent air travel to the next plane, A.Fred O'Travel worked night and day to find something to help passengers get over the fear of flying. More specifically, he found passengers were not as much afraid of flying and as afraid of getting the dreaded jet lag, which could immobilize them upon disembarkment. So Fred made a device which helped passengers to calm down and not shout out as embarrassing statements as "They are going in the wrong direction" and turn them into positive statements, like, "We don't care where the pilots land, as long as it is on Earth!" Not only did this tool (which was placed in each passenger's drink, act as an anti-gadgetlag, it made the passengers remember a happy, ethereal experience, which made them want to book again and again with NirvanAir.
Etymology: gadget (a device that is very useful for a particular job) & Jet Lag(fatigue and sleep disturbance resulting from disruption of the body's normal circadian rhythm as a result of jet travel)
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COMMENTS:
Egad! - silveryaspen, 2009-03-10: 14:57:00
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Machamorphosis
Created by: TJayzz
Pronunciation: Mak-a-mor-foe-sis
Sentence: Budding inventor Ivor Patent-Pending, cleverly adapted his ceiling fan every winter by machamorphosis so that it blew out hot air, thus being able to dry his clothes when the weather was bad.
Etymology: Blend of Machine(an apparatus using mechanical power) and Metamorphosis(alter, to change completely)
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COMMENTS:
RIGHT-O TJ!...and with a string attached, it makes an EXCELLENT cat toy! - metrohumanx, 2009-03-09: 02:20:00
Machamorphosis....like a luvely flutterby! - metrohumanx, 2009-03-09: 02:25:00
good one - galwaywegian, 2009-03-09: 14:27:00
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Pimplement
Created by: Nosila
Pronunciation: pimp lem ent
Sentence: Doris had the insane idea that if she cut down the size of her husband`s sander, it would be great for her erupting skin. It could make the surface smooth, slough off dead cells and stimulate the pores to prevent and eliminate acne. She called it her pimplement and after the first disastrous procedure, the paramedics advised her that her foolishness caused them to laugh their faces off, too.
Etymology: Pimple (acne, a zit) & Implement (equipment or tool used for a purpose)
Macgyvervise
Created by: Tigger
Pronunciation: mak-gai-ver-vais
Sentence: When Dean returned to the parking lot only to find that some vandal had ripped the spark plug wire off his motorcycle, he pulled out his handy little wire-bound notebook, unwound the wire, and used that to MacGyvervise the spark plug wire, and was quickly on his way home.
Etymology: MacGyver - fictional television character known for his inventive use of common items, and practical science, to solve problems. + Improvise - to make or provide from available materials.
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COMMENTS:
If you read my sentence, that really happened to me. - Tigger, 2009-03-09: 01:57:00
I believe, Tigger. I once plugged a vacuum hose on my Toota Corolla with a golf pencil and escaped from very unsavory suburb just in the nick of time. - metrohumanx, 2009-03-09: 02:04:00
And iu repaird my muffler at a rest stop with an empty tomato paste can, aluminum foil, and the ever-useful coat hanger! - metrohumanx, 2009-03-09: 02:22:00
Mye pennmonchip seams toobe deteriorating az da nite wears on....zorry! - metrohumanx, 2009-03-09: 02:24:00
Truth is always stranger than fiction. Great Create! - silveryaspen, 2009-03-09: 11:07:00
what do you mean fictional? - galwaywegian, 2009-03-09: 12:00:00
he pulled out his handy little wire-bound notebook, unwound the wire, Very inventive and good word there & fast thinking on your part to repair your motorcycle!> (and used that to MacGyvervise the spark plug wire, and was quickly on his way home.) - abrakadeborah, 2009-03-14: 19:01:00
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Skimprovise
Created by: Mustang
Pronunciation: SKIM-pro-vyz
Sentence: Even at risk of life and limb in using tools and devices dangerously to save a few pennies, Maribel would often skimprovise, sometimes even endangering those around her.
Etymology: Blend of 'skimp' (To provide for or supply inadequately; be stingy with) and 'improvise' (to make, provide, or arrange from whatever materials are readily available)
Electrocutilize
Created by: karenanne
Pronunciation: ee lek tro CYU til ize
Sentence: Stumpy likes to electrocutilize power tools for more mundane purposes. Last year, he electrocutilized his belt sander to polish his shoes - while he was still wearing them. That's why his nickname is Stumpy.
Etymology: electrocute + utilize
Megatool
Created by: artr
Pronunciation: megətoōl
Sentence: Gene believes in the megatool approach to life. If a task requires the use of a tool bigger is always better. He has a military surplus flame thrower that he uses to start his charcoal grill. You have a rusty bolt? If his jaws-of-life can't loosen it, they can lop it off so you can replace it. His wife drew the line when he started talking about a pneumatic hammer fly swatter. She has 911 on speed-dial.
Etymology: mega (very large; huge) + tool (a device or implement, esp. one held in the hand, used to carry out a particular function)
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COMMENTS:
Perhaps Gene is a megatool for Black & Decker. - otherguy, 2009-03-09: 06:43:00
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