Verboticism: Choconots
DEFINITION: n. A valentine gift which does not cause weight gain. v. To give a non-fattening gift as a symbol of love, which should not be interpreted -- under any circumstances -- as a comment on the recipient's weight.
Voted For: Choconots
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Choconots
Created by: Nuwanda
Pronunciation: chalk-o-nots
Sentence: After hearing me lament about the Christmas weight gain and the impending doom of swimsuit season on the horizon, my husband really thought he was being considerate when he found a healthy alternative to Valentine's Day candy. However, he learned that the choconots were just the first of many denied pleasures of that holiday.
Etymology: The word "chocolates" altered to incorporate "not"
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COMMENTS:
Super funny! - silveryaspen, 2009-02-09: 19:50:00
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Voted For! | Comments and Points
Unfattering
Created by: catalina
Pronunciation: UN-FAT-TER-ING
Sentence: I knew that you would be flattered by the unfattering gift I gave you for valentines day.
Etymology: Flattering
Smattening
Created by: abrakadeborah
Pronunciation: sma-ten-ing
Sentence: Steven Stoopifidis, made sure to give a smattening Valentines heart to his sweetie, Miss Bootie Badonkazonker.
Etymology: Smack - To strike or slap smartly, with or as if with the open hand. Fattening - To make plump or fat.
Karatcake
Created by: Nosila
Pronunciation: kar at kayke
Sentence: Eddie always gave Shirley a karatcake for Valentine's day. It was a no-cal styrofoam corn cake with a piece of gold jewellery lying on it. But the price of gold kept going up, so next year he would probably get her a caratcake instead... you know the marriage proposal type of diamond ring.
Etymology: Karat (the weight of gold) & Cake (small flat mass of chopped food)
Romancingthebones
Created by: TJayzz
Pronunciation: Ro-w-man-sing-the-bowns
Sentence: Noticing his wife had put on a few extra pounds over Christmas, Steve decided on a romancingthebones gift for Valentines Day. Instead of the usual large box of chocolates, he bought her a pair of trainers. He did also buy a huge bunch of flowers to bring out, just in case she tried to hit him with the footwear.
Etymology: Romance(Court the favour of) SEE ALSO Romancing the Stone(1984 Romantic Comedy starring Michael Douglas
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COMMENTS:
terrific - Jabberwocky, 2009-02-09: 08:43:00
Darling! - silveryaspen, 2009-02-09: 10:37:00
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Carborater
Created by: Mustang
Pronunciation: CAR-bo-rayt-ehr
Sentence: Much to the chagrin of his wife Sadie, Carmichael was overly concerned about her health and her weight and he was a meticulous carborater and only upon careful examination of the listing of ingredients would he buy the least fattening foods, including Valentines day candy offerings.
Etymology: Blend of 'carbo' or carbohydrate and 'rater'....one who rates or assesses. A play on the word 'carburetor'..a device that meters 'fuel' to an engine.
Sweetgnawthings
Created by: Nosila
Pronunciation: sweet naw things
Sentence: Why was it when James whispered sweetgnawthings into Jenny's ear,she felt hungry. He called her his Sweetie Pie; his Lamb Chop, his Tutti Frutti, his Honeycakes and his Chocolate Passion. Luckily these sweetgnawthings cost her no calories, but left her feeling hungry and needing something tasty.
Etymology: Sweet Nothings (to whisper inconsequential expressions of affection into her ear) & Gnaw (to bite or chew on with teeth)
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COMMENTS:
Mind play with word play! Wow! - silveryaspen, 2009-02-11: 02:37:00
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Lovelite
Created by: Nosila
Pronunciation: luv lyte
Sentence: On their first date, he took her to a fast food restaurant. She left the ordering up to him, while eyeing the juicy triple bacon burgers, milkshakes and fries. He came back with exactly that as his order, but got for her instead a Coke Zero and a lettuce and tomato salad with no dressing. What she saw as his lovelight turned out to be a lovelite.
Etymology: Lovelight (a brightness of the eyes characteristic of someone in love) & Lite (diet, low calorie)
Joulery
Created by: readerwriter
Pronunciation: jool-er-ee
Sentence: As Carmella stared at the softly gleaming string of pearls in front of her, she knew she had invented the perfect Valentine's gift. She would apply for the patent today! The hard, round vitamin-packed, sugar-free morsels she had meticulously drilled holes in would be called "joulery." Her company would be called Aunty's Joules because, of course, she was against anyone gaining weight from eating her creation. She knew she had a winner in these tough economic times. Dinner and a gift, all in one!
Etymology: A play on JOULE, meaning the energy created by caloric intake.
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COMMENTS:
When Carmella discovered her pearls weren't real, was she shocked? - silveryaspen, 2009-02-09: 10:47:00
Yes, especially as they were cast before swine! - readerwriter, 2009-02-09: 15:14:00
LOL - silveryaspen, 2009-02-09: 19:48:00
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Goodiva
Created by: artr
Pronunciation: gooddahyva
Sentence: Will's ample-figured girlfriend loves her chocolate. Valentine's Day puts him in a quandary. Does he support her desire to be healthier or her vices? He may have found a way to do both as long as she doesn't notice the slight labeling change on the big box of sugar-free knockoff brand of Goodiva chocolates.
Etymology: good (of high quality) + Godiva (brand of high-end chocolate)