Verboticism: Taintfits

'I know it's loaded with calories...'

DEFINITION: n. Any highly-processed food or beverage in which the natural ingredients have been removed and replaced with artificial flavors and additives. v. To consume food products laced with synthetic sweeteners, imitation flavors, and other carcinogens.

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Niltritious

artr

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: nil-trish-uhs

Sentence: After years of eating "junk food", Jerry has decides to turn his eating habits around. Now if he is hungry between meals he will reach for a health bar and an energy drink instead of a bag of chips and a soda. His diet is still niltritous but he at least he FEELS better about it.

Etymology: nil (nonexistent, nothing) + nutritious (providing nourishment, especially to a high degree; nourishing; healthful)

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Unhefdite

Created by: Xanman12321

Pronunciation: Uhn-heff-dait

Sentence: Wow, those potato chips were unhefdites, you know? Oops, I unhefdited! Uh oh...

Etymology: Unhealthy diet -> Unhefdite

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Hollowgramcrackers

Created by: Jabberwocky

Pronunciation: haul/oh/gram/crak/urs

Sentence: Whenever Sally got the urge to binge she would reach for the hollowgramcrackers which promised great taste and if you turned in just the right direction any extra weight would magically disappear.

Etymology: hollow + hologram + graham crackers

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COMMENTS:

GlobalGallery Classic! LOL - GlobalGallery, 2009-01-29: 06:52:00

Distortion in 3D....doesn't get any easier than that! - Mustang, 2009-01-29: 07:45:00

great choices for your etymology - silveryaspen, 2009-01-29: 08:27:00

And then there are the hallowedgramcrackers which you can eat and receive forgiveness for eating... - readerwriter, 2009-01-29: 11:27:00

holy **** reader - never thought of that - enlightening - Jabberwocky, 2009-01-29: 11:52:00

And if you tried to stop eating them, you'd have to hallowed wean them! - Nosila, 2009-01-29: 19:45:00

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Colack

Created by: kateinkorea

Pronunciation: COE lack

Sentence: One day when I asked her why she always asked me for a colack instead of a cola she said, "You notice how cola sounds so good. Co la la la la...its a happy sound. I call it colack because it lacks anything good." When I asked her why she continued to order them everyday, she said, "I guess I lack good sense."

Etymology: COLA: soda drink LACK: to have none or not enough of something

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Artifoodage

Created by: ahmadmalik2007

Pronunciation: aa-rti-fod-aij

Sentence: In modern world, people prefer artifoodage becuase its quick and delicious, however, it cannot be the replacement for natural food.

Etymology: artifoodage is a short form extracted from three words: arti from artificial, food from food and age from beverage.

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Mystreats

Created by: readerwriter

Pronunciation: mis-treet-z

Sentence: Esau, who always chose the quick and easy way to get his food, grew fat in the land on his convenient die-et of mystreats.When he suddently departed this life from cardiac arest, his secondary cause of death was listed as "mystreatment." Full stop.

Etymology: From MYSTERY, things unexplainable + TREATS, small pleasures; also playing on MISTREAT, to misuse, abuse

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Synthience

artr

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: sinθīəns

Sentence: Some people are drawn to labels like ”All Natural” or ”No Artificial Ingredients”. Not Tim. He just loves his beverages created by synthience.

Etymology: synthetic (made by chemical synthesis) + science (systematic study of the structure and behavior of the physical and natural world through observation and experiment)

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Nutrideficient

Created by: Mustang

Pronunciation: new-treh-de-FISH-unt

Sentence: Filbert was in complete denial about the 'power drink' he consumed daily, thinking it was packed with added vitamins, minerals and nutriments but it was in fact, totally nutrideficient.

Etymology: Blend of 'nutrition' (beneficial attribute of food) and 'deficient' (in short supply-absent)

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Grossceries

Created by: Stevenson0

Pronunciation: gross/cer/ees

Sentence: When John goes shopping for food, he fills his cart with grossceries with zero to no nutritional value such as sham spam, potato hydrogenated artery filler, cancerspartan sweetened pop, hot (cow eyes, teeth and skin) dogs, mock chicken (wrack of rat) and Wonder enriched bread (less than 50% wood chips and white drywall dust).

Etymology: GROSSCERIES - noun - from GROSS + GROCERIES

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COMMENTS:

So apt! - silveryaspen, 2009-01-29: 08:26:00

like it. - galwaywegian, 2009-01-29: 08:53:00

Now I no longer Wonder why they called it Wonder Bread! - Nosila, 2009-01-29: 19:46:00

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Piquantoxifodder

metrohumanx

Created by: metrohumanx

Pronunciation: PICK-one-TOCKS-ih-fodder

Sentence: Chuck planted his corpulent posterior in the orange naugahide chair and settled down to his first day at the new job. Thankful to be employed, he relished his new assignment at Universal Test Kitchens...sampling and rating new food products before they were foisted upon the unsuspecting public.Being a true foodlum, he had quaffed, chomped, swigged and munched through an array of buyprodux, each containing an ersatz nutritute carefully engineered from corn syrup and cheap tropical fat. Some dishes were trendylicious and pungent, others had all the appeal of a used bovine salt lick. It wasn't until the late afternoon when Chuck found his favorite concoction. It was real PIQUANTOXIFODDER - stripped of any wasteful vitamins, yet replete with satisfying textures that reminded him of that strangest of foods- tapioca. After secretly cramming down his third helping, Chuck succumbed to a case of megacramps that a gallon of peptodismall wouldn't cure. On the way home, he had to pull over discreetly near an irrigation ditch and make a contribution.Plop Plop Fizz Fizz. Sweating like a cut of rancid pork, Chuck knew that the product he ingested was sure to be a great seller. It was....ambrosia!

Etymology: PIQUANt+TOXIc+FODDER=PIQUANTOXIFODDER.....PIQUANT:agreeably stimulating to the palate,engagingly provocative taste;Middle French, from present participle of piquer.....TOXIC:containing or being poisonous material especially when capable of causing death or serious debilitation,extremely harsh, malicious, or harmful;Late Latin toxicus, from Latin toxicum poison, from Greek toxikon arrow poison, from neuter of toxikos of a bow, from toxon bow, arrow.....FODDER:something fed to domestic animals ; especially : coarse food for cattle, horses, or sheep,-inferior or readily available material used to supply a heavy demand;Middle English, from Old English fōdor; akin to Old High German fuotar food.....AMBROSIA:the food of the Greek and Roman gods;Latin, from Greek, literally, immortality, from ambrotos immortal.(bonus word)

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COMMENTS:

metrohumanx Amusing OLD advertisements: http://www.lileks.com/oldads/index.html - metrohumanx, 2009-01-29: 01:56:00

metrohumanx This space intentionally left blank. - metrohumanx, 2009-01-29: 21:27:00

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