Verboticism: Taintfits

'I know it's loaded with calories...'

DEFINITION: n. Any highly-processed food or beverage in which the natural ingredients have been removed and replaced with artificial flavors and additives. v. To consume food products laced with synthetic sweeteners, imitation flavors, and other carcinogens.

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Taintfits

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Cornfakes

GlobalGallery

Created by: GlobalGallery

Pronunciation: korn - fayks

Sentence: Willie was up at dawn to log on as his Dwarf Troll avatar in the online world of Demon-Realm. He had no real friends so he immersed himself in an artificial reality as often as he could. He liked a bowl of Cornfakes in the morning. The flavour burst of acesulfame-K and the crunchy goodness of butylated hydroxytoluene gave him the energy for hours of unbridled slaying.

Etymology: 1.cornflakes - a popular cereal made by Kellogs 2.fakes - goods that are not genuine.

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COMMENTS:

very tasty! - galwaywegian, 2009-01-29: 06:46:00

I saw the Cornfakes beside the Raisin Banned Flakes, Mice Krispies and Loco Puffs at Safeway! - Nosila, 2009-01-29: 19:50:00

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Unhefdite

Created by: Xanman12321

Pronunciation: Uhn-heff-dait

Sentence: Wow, those potato chips were unhefdites, you know? Oops, I unhefdited! Uh oh...

Etymology: Unhealthy diet -> Unhefdite

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Piquantoxifodder

metrohumanx

Created by: metrohumanx

Pronunciation: PICK-one-TOCKS-ih-fodder

Sentence: Chuck planted his corpulent posterior in the orange naugahide chair and settled down to his first day at the new job. Thankful to be employed, he relished his new assignment at Universal Test Kitchens...sampling and rating new food products before they were foisted upon the unsuspecting public.Being a true foodlum, he had quaffed, chomped, swigged and munched through an array of buyprodux, each containing an ersatz nutritute carefully engineered from corn syrup and cheap tropical fat. Some dishes were trendylicious and pungent, others had all the appeal of a used bovine salt lick. It wasn't until the late afternoon when Chuck found his favorite concoction. It was real PIQUANTOXIFODDER - stripped of any wasteful vitamins, yet replete with satisfying textures that reminded him of that strangest of foods- tapioca. After secretly cramming down his third helping, Chuck succumbed to a case of megacramps that a gallon of peptodismall wouldn't cure. On the way home, he had to pull over discreetly near an irrigation ditch and make a contribution.Plop Plop Fizz Fizz. Sweating like a cut of rancid pork, Chuck knew that the product he ingested was sure to be a great seller. It was....ambrosia!

Etymology: PIQUANt+TOXIc+FODDER=PIQUANTOXIFODDER.....PIQUANT:agreeably stimulating to the palate,engagingly provocative taste;Middle French, from present participle of piquer.....TOXIC:containing or being poisonous material especially when capable of causing death or serious debilitation,extremely harsh, malicious, or harmful;Late Latin toxicus, from Latin toxicum poison, from Greek toxikon arrow poison, from neuter of toxikos of a bow, from toxon bow, arrow.....FODDER:something fed to domestic animals ; especially : coarse food for cattle, horses, or sheep,-inferior or readily available material used to supply a heavy demand;Middle English, from Old English fōdor; akin to Old High German fuotar food.....AMBROSIA:the food of the Greek and Roman gods;Latin, from Greek, literally, immortality, from ambrotos immortal.(bonus word)

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COMMENTS:

metrohumanx Amusing OLD advertisements: http://www.lileks.com/oldads/index.html - metrohumanx, 2009-01-29: 01:56:00

metrohumanx This space intentionally left blank. - metrohumanx, 2009-01-29: 21:27:00

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Nutrideficient

Created by: Mustang

Pronunciation: new-treh-de-FISH-unt

Sentence: Filbert was in complete denial about the 'power drink' he consumed daily, thinking it was packed with added vitamins, minerals and nutriments but it was in fact, totally nutrideficient.

Etymology: Blend of 'nutrition' (beneficial attribute of food) and 'deficient' (in short supply-absent)

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Mystreats

Created by: readerwriter

Pronunciation: mis-treet-z

Sentence: Esau, who always chose the quick and easy way to get his food, grew fat in the land on his convenient die-et of mystreats.When he suddently departed this life from cardiac arest, his secondary cause of death was listed as "mystreatment." Full stop.

Etymology: From MYSTERY, things unexplainable + TREATS, small pleasures; also playing on MISTREAT, to misuse, abuse

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Niltritious

artr

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: nil-trish-uhs

Sentence: After years of eating "junk food", Jerry has decides to turn his eating habits around. Now if he is hungry between meals he will reach for a health bar and an energy drink instead of a bag of chips and a soda. His diet is still niltritous but he at least he FEELS better about it.

Etymology: nil (nonexistent, nothing) + nutritious (providing nourishment, especially to a high degree; nourishing; healthful)

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Synthience

artr

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: sinθīəns

Sentence: Some people are drawn to labels like ”All Natural” or ”No Artificial Ingredients”. Not Tim. He just loves his beverages created by synthience.

Etymology: synthetic (made by chemical synthesis) + science (systematic study of the structure and behavior of the physical and natural world through observation and experiment)

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Eatitives

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: eet it ivs

Sentence: Freddy only consumed foods laced with eatitives. He believed that lots of long names in ingredients were healthy for him and powered up his energy and nutrition count.

Etymology: Eat (to consume) & Additives (things added to foods to enhance flavour, shelf life, colour and desirability)

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Grossceries

Created by: Stevenson0

Pronunciation: gross/cer/ees

Sentence: When John goes shopping for food, he fills his cart with grossceries with zero to no nutritional value such as sham spam, potato hydrogenated artery filler, cancerspartan sweetened pop, hot (cow eyes, teeth and skin) dogs, mock chicken (wrack of rat) and Wonder enriched bread (less than 50% wood chips and white drywall dust).

Etymology: GROSSCERIES - noun - from GROSS + GROCERIES

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COMMENTS:

So apt! - silveryaspen, 2009-01-29: 08:26:00

like it. - galwaywegian, 2009-01-29: 08:53:00

Now I no longer Wonder why they called it Wonder Bread! - Nosila, 2009-01-29: 19:46:00

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Pseudofoodo

artr

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: soōdōfoōdō

Sentence: Charlie is a vegetarian at heart. The thought of killing some poor defenseless creature saddens him deeply. When he read about a study that claimed that plants emit a sound much like a scream when picked, he was left in a quandary. What could he eat? His solution? Pseudofoodo! The "O" foods! Munchos, Bunchos, Crunchos, Chunkos, Dunkos. The more processed - the farther away from anything living - the better he likes it. If only those bio-degradable packing peanuts had a little cheese or onion flavoring. If only he had the energy to go to the gymo to work off some of his flabo.

Etymology: pseudo (not genuine; sham) + food (any nutritious substance that people or animals eat or drink) + "O" for the O foods.

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COMMENTS:

Oh! Oh! So good! - silveryaspen, 2009-01-29: 08:35:00

too true - Jabberwocky, 2009-01-29: 09:42:00

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